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About this blog

A staggeringly honest and unrelentingly optimistic blog about obesity recovery.

Entries in this blog

 

19 months - stillllll losing

Hard to believe it's been such a long time since I last updated!  I never meant to let a month go by without posting here.  WLS was such a huge point of change and disruption in my life (in the best possible way) that I didn't think there would ever come a time that I didn't need to talk about it endlessly.  But truth - after a while, the machinery of normal life grinds on, and other priorities begin to reassert themselves. At 19 months out, I feel pretty evenly-keeled about my surgery and

Kio

Kio

 

One year!

Hey, all you Losers!  I'm a day late, but I wanted to post something to commemorate my one year surgiversary.  It's so hard to believe it's been a year!  And yet so much has happened, so much has changed - sometimes it feels like it's been far longer than just 12 months.  Sorry in advance, this is going to be another long Kio post (tm).  In fact... this may be my longest one yet! A re-cap of my story: I started thinking seriously about WLS in April of 2017, but I wasn't really sure I'd

Kio

Kio

 

There's nothing wrong with you

This is just something I posted on another board - not specifically a weight loss board, but one I frequent.  It's kind of a catch-all advice site, and someone had asked how she could get herself motivated to try to lose weight again, when she had already tried everything, and everything had failed her.  She mentioned her family - a wife and kids - and wanting to be able to be active with them, and to not be in pain all the time.  I assumed, with the comment about constant pain, that she was pro

Kio

Kio

 

Month 10ish - still losing!

Maybe not as fast as before, but I'm having a loss week this week.  I admit, I struggled this month, mentally and emotionally.  Intellectually I know that my weight loss is periodic - I stall for about 3 weeks a month, then lose over one week, then stall again for 3 weeks.  It's like clockwork.  But somehow I felt sure that this month's stall was different - that this was the stall that wasn't going to break, that I wouldn't lose anything, that I might even end up regaining.  I'd gone up about 2

Kio

Kio

 

Edging up on 9 months

Just a quick update because I haven't posted a progress pic in a while!  I spent a lot of time in Boston today, shopping for a sleeper sofa for the new house.  Most of that time was in Room & Board, and when I found myself in front of a huge wall made of mirrors, it seemed like a good time.  And since I'm feeling a bit brave, here is a night before shot I have never posted.  I reserve the right to yank this down tomorrow if my nerve fails me!  I regret my choice to do my "before" practically

Kio

Kio

 

8 months (and then some...)

Somehow this post has kept being put off... I meant to do it on the 9th, but ran out of brain.    I've also been busy packing for the move - we're still waiting for our closing date, but we want to be ready. (It should be in the next two weeks!)  My entire being has been focused on moving - to the extent that I think work is suffering a little.  But I've managed to stay mostly on track with my eating and -- after a brief slump that was mostly weather-related - I've also gotten back to walking ev

Kio

Kio

 

7.5 months

I missed my 7-month post -- too much going on in my life, which has been both good and bad.  The bad - my dog was attacked by another dog just over two weeks ago, and it was very scary, plus a very rocky recovery.  The good-and-bad - we are selling our house and moving!  I'm happy about it, but it's been super stressful.  We live in a very hot seller's market, and the pace of things has been daunting.  First, finding the place, making an offer, getting it accepted - that was suspenseful and craz

Kio

Kio

 

6 months out... again?...still?! (...In which I can't count)

So first let me say, no one ever told me there was going to be a quiz. I've been saying "I'm 6 months out..." all month - not so!  I was IN THE MIDDLE of my 6th month.  So in fact the last few post titles are false, because I'm a loser and I have no math. As of today, I'm officially REALLY 6 months out.  *counts slowly on fingers to double check* Yep. I am ending month 6 and starting month 7 today! This was another low loss month, thanks to the unpredictability of my period. My lowest

Kio

Kio

 

6.5 months - having a little whiiiiine with my cheese today

Whine, you know, is super low carb.  Sadly, also low protein.    This isn't really a serious whine - just a touch of frustration.  Part of it is with my weight loss pattern, and part of it is with my crazy brain. So - like many of the other ladies here, my weight loss follows a specific pattern in tune with my monthly visitor.  I tend to lose almost all my weight each month just before and just during my period.  Even on months when my period doesn't show (I'm just starting to get it b

Kio

Kio

 

6 months... seriously!?

I can't believe it's been six months since my surgery today.  It doesn't seem like reality.  It seems like just yesterday I was drinking protein shakes and eating plain greek yogurt... OH WAIT THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS!    Yeah, my diet has advanced significantly, but yogurt and protein shakes are still my main staples. I'm happy to report that my trouble keeping things down is in the past.  The past month or so I've been doing really well on that score.  I still sometimes eat the wrong thing (

Kio

Kio

 

3rd week of month 5 - an ER visit, a stall, and some random stuff

Hi, TTFam.  It's been a crazy month for me so far, so I figured why not go wild and post off my usual monthly schedule?    This goes on for a bit, as usual, covering every thought that has crossed my mind for the past 3 weeks...   This month so far has been all about my back.  Around Saturday last week, my upper back started hurting quite a lot.  I put it down at first to increase in exercise - I'm trying to walk a bit faster as well as a bit farther these days.  But it got worse through th

Kio

Kio

 

Omg owwwww

Hashtag FLO - For Ladies Only!    So before surgery, for about six years, I had no period, or maybe like... one a year.  I'm only 46 now, so my docs did tests to find out if I was in early menopause, and I wasn't... it was obesity-related amenorrhea.  (I have probably spelled that wrong.)  Before that, my periods were always super light - we're talking maybe a teaspoon a day, rarely enough to even bother with a pad.  I had cramps right before, and they were in about the area you'd expect, a

Kio

Kio

 

Onward to month 5!

So for those of you who saw my whinge about stalling... my stall is broken!  5 lbs worth of broken.  I believe the stall was courtesy of my period, which comes and goes like the west wind these days.. and since yesterday, the west wind has been blowing.  (My doc has had me do all the necessary tests, and there's nothing wrong... apparently this is just how it works when your period slowly comes back after being shut off by obesity for as long as mine was.) Stats update:  I'm down a total of

Kio

Kio

 

Starting month 4...

It's really hard to wrap my head around it, but today is the start of month 4 / end of month 3 after surgery!  Getting the business stuff out of the way... Weight loss:  I was 355 when I started this process in April, 298 on surgery day, and I'm 251 today.  That's 57 lbs lost before surgery and 47 lost since - a total of 104 lbs down!  My monthly post surgery stats are:  M1: -17, M2: -14, M3: -16.  So I'm giving myself an A+ for the first quarter in the weight loss department.    You Novemb

Kio

Kio

 

101 lbs down today!

Not from surgery - that would be crazy.    But I'm 254 today, which is 101 down from my starting point in April!  I lost 57 before surgery, and I've lost 43 since.  And now I'm just over 100 away from my goal - which is my personal goal for myself, not my surgeon's goal.  Trust me, he is a LOT more conservative.  I think he'd be perfectly happy with.... I dunno, whatever 355 - (60% x (355-140)) is... ok it's 226.  Once I wrote the formula I had to do the math.  So right now, I'm not quite three

Kio

Kio

 

11 weeks and some before/after photos

Ok, so I offered, then @CJireh demanded, so here goes... my first photos on TT.    Fair warning, the quality on these is pretty bad - I have always avoided being photographed for obvious reasons, and I take terrible selfies.  There are a couple in here that were taken by Leah, but she's not exactly a star photographer herself.  I think in each of those, I have my eyes closed.   Starting at my highest weight, around 350, about a year ago, here's a very blurry me Leah snapped when I was half

Kio

Kio

 

10 weeks tomorrow!

Just a quick update, since I haven't done one in a while.  Things are going pretty well!  My energy is high, my weight loss is on track, all good there.  My only complaint is that I've had some trouble with eating dense protein - I know I'm still very early out, but my nutritionist wants me getting most of my protein from real food right now, and that just... does not happen.  I get by with some protein shakes and bars, and a lot of cheese, basically.  Had about a week where I kept trying t

Kio

Kio

 

7 weeks out - ups and downs again

I feel like it's been forever since I posted, but it was just a week ago.  That probably says something about the kind of week it's been!   I haven't been exercising as much this week - well, ok, not really at all - because I've felt really tired a lot of the time.  I thought it was just not sleeping enough - I can't seem to make it far past 6 hours a night this week, between one thing and another - or that I needed to return to CPAP.  But this morning I woke up with a full blown cold, and

Kio

Kio

 

Two steps forward...

... one step into the bathroom...   Beware, vomiting story below! After the successful potluck night, I've had a bad couple of days.  Sunday night I tried something from stage 3 of my program, listed as a viable option "on the go" - I ordered a small chili from Wendy's for my dinner, since we'd been out shopping our socks off all day.  When I got home, I took three, maybe four small spoonfuls ... and regretted it almost instantly.  My stomach felt terrible, like - genuinely really terrible.

Kio

Kio

 

6 weeks out - milestones, food adventures, nightmares

Milestones: I'm 6 weeks out today - and down 27 lbs since surgery, 84 lbs overall.  Today I landed at 271 on the scale, which is a big milestone for me - it's the lowest weight I ever achieved in Paleo adventure a couple of years ago.  After this point back then, I stalled for a couple of months... and then, gave up in despair and started the inevitable climb back upwards.  271 today is also 10 lbs lost in month 2, and I'm only halfway through the month.  So, there's a lot to feel good abou

Kio

Kio

 

Nearing the end of week 6 - and almost Hallowe'en!

Hard to believe almost 6 weeks gone since surgery!  It feels like it happened yesterday.  But here I am - done with all my "special" diet periods and into my permanent Stage 4 as of yesterday!  Not that I've actually eaten anything reserved for Stage 4 yet - I'm still mostly eating the same old stuff.  Chicken (dark meat because it's easier), cottage cheese, yogurt, cheese... I've started eating cottage cheese with fruit in it, so that's something!  And the occasional protein bar, though it take

Kio

Kio

 

Catching up

Now that I'm out of my first month, I'll probably just be blogging when something feels post-worthy, or when I need to get something out of my head and onto the page.  I've found that as I recover, and as I get further out from surgery, I'm a little less hyperfocused on every aspect of what's happening to my body and what I put into it.  For one thing, it's harder to stay that way - as the first few weeks pass and you start to feel more normal, you head back to work.  And there are holidays to p

Kio

Kio

 

Day 31 - Psych follow-up

So today was weird - this is the one issue I have with my program.  They keep making follow-up appointments for me, and nowhere in the appointment notice does it mention it's a GROUP appointment.  So I went in today all ready to see the psych individually, and there were five other people there.  Wheeeeeee.   I mean, I would have gone anyway - I just would have been mentally prepared for group speaking.  Instead I was probably giving off all bristle-vibes. Anyway!  It was still pretty

Kio

Kio

 

Days 29 and 30 - tiny update

...basically, nothing new to report!  I'm still doing really well, just now starting to settle into my life a little better.  I have some worries - am I eating too much, too little, the wrong kinds of things? I'm thinking about posting a "normal day" menu soon for some feedback.  But for now, I'm just gearing up for tomorrow's post-op psych appointment!  I'll report back after.   

Kio

Kio

 

Day 29 - CHARTS!

Today is officially one month out from surgery - and as promised, I have brought some charts.    Three, to be exact.   First, to get it out of the way, I DID MAKE IT to 281 today!  Kind of an arbitrary number, right?  But since I'm 5'3", that puts me just under a BMI of 50 for the first time in years.  49.8!  Since surgery, not counting water weight from the hospital, I've lost exactly 17 lbs.   So, Chart #1:  Weight loss over time.  Pretty much what it says on the tin - this shows my

Kio

Kio