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7

This week. Whew.  Monday, I was annoyed in the morning to weigh and still be the same weight as last week's weigh in (3 weeks now of only plus or minus a few ounces). It had me in one of those WHY BOTHER THEN?!?! kind of moods. I stuffed up and ate my stupid chicken and spinach all the same. Weigh in went as expected (6 whole ounces down). It is just wholly frustrating to eat 1300-1400 calories a day (sometimes even less) and not see anything like the weight loss they say you will! I know y

delilas

delilas

 

One freaking month down.

By weeks, yesterday was week 4. By day-to-day, my surgery was the 29th, so tomorrow is the official month mark. Regardless, I'm so excited to be here.  It's incredible how much I feel my body has changed. I'm down 20 pounds. I've been doing a better skincare regimen while I've been off work as well, and between the two, I can kiiinda already see a future where I'm not just dumpy and thick.  I attended my works holiday party and got more compliments than I think I've ever received at once. M

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delilas

 

6

I share my office with another nurse, who lost 70 pounds last year after a visit to her doctor put her in the prediabetes range. She ate a ketogenic diet for 6 months and dropped it all. Since taking a desk job and stressing about a few things in her life, she's gained some of it back - and while she constantly talks a good game about needing to get the weight off, she's also one of those "frenemies" who constantly tries to push you into eating something. I don't think she does it meanly, I thin

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delilas

 

So close.

Holy crap. Surgery is in two days.    In 12 days on the liver shrink, I've lost 6 pounds so far - also, I'm pretty sure this is the only Thanksgiving I've ever lost weight  I didn't even feel deprived. I had delicious turkey and someone brought an awesome salad. Our hotel had a hot breakfast every morning that involved some sort of eggs and some sort of meat, so even though I didn't travel with protein drinks, I was able to meet goals and feel pretty good about being mostly on liquids.

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delilas

 

Finally on the other side!

I finally got sent home last night.  Unfortunately, anesthesia and I have never gotten along. I always take much longer to 'emerge' afterwards, and even with a lot of warning yesterday, it was the same. I was held in recovery for over 4 hours while they tried to wake me up, and then sent on to my room, where it took me another 3 hours to really open my eyes. I remained pretty out of it and barely able to drink that day, but sometime around 3am I was able to get myself out of bed to the bath

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delilas

 

9

Ughhhhh.   Four weeks at the same weight, so last week, I really crunched down, you know? Lunches around 300 cals, dinners around 500, totals between 1200-1300 a day (I am pre-op). High protein, low carb, all the water.   I gained 3 pounds at last weeks weigh in.    No doubt its hormonal (grr) water weight given the timing but man. I would just like to see the scale go down for the first time in over a month!   At least this week I am back down to the same damn w

delilas

delilas

 

Fear

When I started looking into WLS, I was 75% sure I was just going to go with a lapband. Easily removable, I thought. No big malabsorptive issues. Just a bunch of restriction - a kind of hand-holding into making me eat the way I need to.  Then I began my real research, and saw the complication rates were higher, and the amount of appointments necessary were higher, and that overall weightloss was considerably lower. Many people complained of still feeling hungry - which makes sense, when you

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delilas

 

Week 7

I keep thinking I'm farther along than I am. The 29th will be my two month, but I keep thinking I'm 8 weeks out... My last update says week 6, but it was actually week 5     Returning to work week 6 posed some fun new challenges. I find I'm not eating as much throughout the day and way overpacked my first couple days back to work. I am still hitting all goals, at least!   My scrubs are loose and I've gotten a lot of comments from coworkers, especially about the loss in my face, w

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delilas

 

Six weeks

Howwww!? Week 6 already. So here's what's been going on.    Finally feel I've gotten a hang of water and protein. Being able to hit 64 oz+ of water and 60 grams of protein finally got the scale moving again too (or the rain dance, or praying to the scale gods, yknow, whichever). This week I'll be adding in actual dedicated exercise rather than lapping the house or going to target to lap (which is horribly dangerous for my pocket).   I have a crazy craving for onions. Never been a

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delilas

 

12

Updates galore    1) I finished my last classes on Monday and did my final fit test and exit interview for the Living Well program yesterday. On the one hand, it feels like this has been the longest 6 months of my life, and on another, it feels like its gone very quickly. I even made my initial deposit on the surgery.The only thing that really sucks is they told me they were going to submit to insurance, and then told me I needed a letter of necessity from my PCP. At no point in the past

delilas

delilas

 

Regret

I'm so excited to be on this pathway, and at the same time, I have so many regrets. In 2013, I had actually applied for the surgery. I was told to schedule for psychiatry, which threw me off and I abandoned the process without a look back.   Then two years ago, I had a doctor prod me in this direction. After 3 years of off and on infertility treatments, my SO and I were told the next step was IVF. Which was terrifying, as very few insurances pay anything towards it, and the cost of ONE a

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delilas

 

One year (a little late) - and a little bump :)

One year. I can't believe it's been a whole year - its funny, how it both seems twice as long, and also like it can't possibly have been a year already. In the year (and couple weeks) since surgery, I have lost over 100 pounds. I can power up stairs without losing my breath, do longer hikes, and I have a wholly different relationship with food. I'm very mindful of my tool; especially now that I really and truly feel hunger again. It would not be difficult to eat past the warning signs of fu

delilas

delilas

 

Two months!

Woohoo! I've made it through two months. It's both gone by in a flash and seemed to have taken forever, at the same time.   I've lost 49 pounds since the day I walked into the first pre-op class, and 32 pounds since surgery. I have lost over 5 points off my BMI since surgery (over 8 points from my highest weight!).    I feel like I have settled into a decent routine and Im hitting water and protein nearly without exception. I'm still pretty reliant on protein shakes to meet prot

delilas

delilas

 

5

No class last week because of the holiday - right back at it this week with a weigh in and group exercise class followed by an exercise lecture. However, I found out last week that I stress fractured my foot! Whomp whomp My motto was all 'go big or go home' but I think I went too big I've got a big ol' walking boot for the next four weeks. Upside, I am allowed to bike as long as my foot doesnt hurt when I do it, so rather than jumping on the arc trainer during our exercise class, I got on

delilas

delilas

 

Two weeks

On the one hand, it feels like these two weeks have been a slow-mo of trying to force down protein and water. On the other hand, I can't believe it's already been two weeks!   I met my surgeon for my first post op today. My pain with the stricture has somewhat improved on its own, and he is not convinced from my barium swallow right now that it absolutely needs dilation. We're in a "wait and see" holding pattern.   I can get down about two ounces of puree. More if it's thinner l

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delilas

 

10

So two kinda cool things:   First, I finally decided on a surgery, and I'm going with the sleeve. I've been weighing things heavily, and was more recently leaning towards RNY, but after a frank discussion with my cardiologist and the NP, my occasionally necessary use of high-dose NSAIDS would be more problematic if I had an RNY. Since the stomach stays in you in RNY, I could still develop an ulcer from NSAID use. Since that stomach is no longer accessible via EGD, however, I'd need surg

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delilas

 

8

(holy crap already 8 weekly entries? I don't feel like its been two months...) So my MRI cleared my foot and the reigning days of das boot are over! Which is fabulous, except my foot still hurts like mad. Docs aware, he just kinda shrugged and ordered some physical therapy for me to see if that helps. Grr. Physical therapy starts tomorrow. Last week was an exercise class, and I powered through 2.5 miles on the recumbent cross trainer like it was my job  Now that the boot is off, I'm go

delilas

delilas

 

Four months

March has been a rollercoaster.    For starters, I finally broke the stall around March 6, and quite suddenly dropped a lot of weight.    You can see on this graph, I struggled for all of February to drop from 258 to 253, but then in March? BAM. 6 pounds in a couple days.    Overall, a total of 12 pounds this month, which brings me to a total of 53 pounds since surgery (and 70 since my highest weight!), and my BMI to 41.4. This April 18th is will be one year since I

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delilas

 

Six months

Stats: I lost 6 pounds this month, bringing my total since surgery to 68 pounds lost and my BMI slowly nudging down to 38.8.   I'm kind of sad that my six month doesn't boast better scale stats, but the difference is here: I _finally_ got cleared to restart strength exercises by physical therapy. It seems the day I started that, I hit a complete roadblock: I've been exactly the same weight since the day I started. My nutritionist says "water follows glycogen" and when you work your musc

delilas

delilas

 

Week three

Sheesh. Week three ended yesterday. It's funny, I sometimes feel a bit surreal. Like nothing's changed, I totally didn't have major surgery. I feel like I'm eating all the time, which was, you know...my norm before, too. Nevermind that "eating all the time" amounts to 400-600 calories instead of a couple thousand, and that the time I ate 2.3 ounces of food instead of 2 ounces, I thought I was going to blow cookies - I just have a constant feeling since the pain has finally stopped, that I'm just

delilas

delilas

 

Three months

Woof. February was hard.  I'm down 9 pounds this month, which is a bitter pill because it seems so small. I started the month off pretty sick with a sinus infect and in a 10 day stall, then had 6 pounds slide off in 3 days after I felt better. Then I struggle bussed for the remainder of the month to lose the other three pounds. In total, that makes me 58 pounds down since my highest weight and 41 pounds since surgery. My BMI has dropped to 43.4 I changed jobs mid-month, and went from a

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delilas

 

Month 9 - and a huge surprise

So I finally got back to using the scale again this month. I weighed in at the hospital on the 21st when showing up for my EGD, and was thrilled to know I have hit and surpassed the 100 pounds down mark! I was 209 pounds that day. I still haven't really gotten my scale out of it's closet of shame right now, but I'm feeling good about that     The dysmorphia has been hella bad the last two months. I'm one of those that never felt I was as large as I was (until staring at the number on the

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delilas

 

The beginning.

Today, I met with a psychiatrist for my pre-op psych appointment, and thought it may be about time I started logging my expedition   A little background on me: I'm 32, a registered nurse, married with no kids, but the kickass aunt to three nephews and one niece. I worked ER and critical care for years, did one year stint as a prison nurse, and currently work as a chronic care manager. I am the person who calls to (politely!) tell/encourage/bribe people with heart failure and diabet

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delilas

 

Away We Go!

I've been in planning mode ever since I got my pre-op date last week! I've got lists on lists on lists! Shopping for the liver shrink, a few basic staples for the post op diet as well, what to take to the hospital, meals to cook and freeze for the husband, paperwork to complete, chores I want done prior. I am always happiest when I have things to check off, and man, did this give me those organizational feels     So today, I finally met my surgeon. There are two at OSU, and I have p

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delilas

 

11

I knew once I signed a contract saying I'd keep my weight stable for this research study, I'd break that damn plateau. True to my word, I finally - FINALLY - fell below 300 pounds at last week's weigh in, and at Monday's weigh in, dropped another pound. No one at the study can tell me exactly what they consider to be stable - 5 pounds? 10 pounds? 5% of my body weight? - so I'll just keep chugging along. Even losing a couple pounds a week, I shouldn't lose more than 6 pounds before the pre-op pha

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delilas