Since the surgery, I've been reading blogs and just plain feeling GREEN over others' energy bursts. I've moped, I've prayed, I've dragged my sloth self around in my bath robe or sweat pants, trying to spread the day's energy as thinly as I could, just so I could be awake when the sun went down. I've even been putting off my return to the gym, hoping for that sweet, sweet promise of energy to come.....but, digging in my heels hasn't been the least beneficial. All it's won me is a routine of lazy strolls that I've routinely begun to think of as "exercise." Honestly, I didn't even get my heart rate up. What was I thinking? That is NOT a life change. Where was my commitment to myself???
Before the surgery, I was in the gym 5x a week for about 3 years. I begrudgingly went, dragging my gym bag behind me like Linus....but I went. I ventured from the elliptical to the pool to the weights and even tried some classes. I did it because I promised myself I would, not because I had a burning desire to sweat in front of skinny people. There is no such thing as princess perspiration here....I sweat (and smell, I might add) like a dude when I work out. But, with the aide of sweat wick clothing, chlorine-killing shampoo, and clinical strength deodorant, I lived. I got used to it and got results that I was proud of....but I can't say that I was crushed when the doc said that I would have to forgo exercising for several weeks post-op. I actually thought that I heard angels singing.
So, imagine my stunned expression as I write the following sentence: IT FEELS SO INSANELY GOOD to be working out again. This week, I finally ventured from my lazy walking and tried to get back into a gym state of mind. Nothing magical happened, no gnomes or wizards of which I am aware. But, at some point during my elliptical interlude, I began to feel that tell-tale tingle at the base of my scalp and WHOOSH, ....energy....at long, long last. I finished my session with record vigor and then tackled the lower body weight machines with all the vim I could muster. There's no telling what I may have accomplished if the kids' center hadn't been scheduled to close for their afternoon break, darn it! Tomorrow, upper body and laps in the pool. Bring it on! I feel a little more like me, today.