Blogs

 

One year!

Hey, all you Losers!  I'm a day late, but I wanted to post something to commemorate my one year surgiversary.  It's so hard to believe it's been a year!  And yet so much has happened, so much has changed - sometimes it feels like it's been far longer than just 12 months.  Sorry in advance, this is going to be another long Kio post (tm).  In fact... this may be my longest one yet! A re-cap of my story: I started thinking seriously about WLS in April of 2017, but I wasn't really sure I'd

Kio

Kio

 

Month 9 - and a huge surprise

So I finally got back to using the scale again this month. I weighed in at the hospital on the 21st when showing up for my EGD, and was thrilled to know I have hit and surpassed the 100 pounds down mark! I was 209 pounds that day. I still haven't really gotten my scale out of it's closet of shame right now, but I'm feeling good about that     The dysmorphia has been hella bad the last two months. I'm one of those that never felt I was as large as I was (until staring at the number on the

delilas

delilas

 

There's nothing wrong with you

This is just something I posted on another board - not specifically a weight loss board, but one I frequent.  It's kind of a catch-all advice site, and someone had asked how she could get herself motivated to try to lose weight again, when she had already tried everything, and everything had failed her.  She mentioned her family - a wife and kids - and wanting to be able to be active with them, and to not be in pain all the time.  I assumed, with the comment about constant pain, that she was pro

Kio

Kio

 

Stalled, but.....

I've been stalled for a while. I'm still deciding if I even care, though. I'm a couple of pounds below the low end of my surgeon's goal (he gave me a range), so any more weight loss is honestly just sugar-free icing on the sugar-free cake. Haha! The fact is that I feel awesome! I am healthy. I am active. I eat a normal amount of food - maybe a little less than others, but pretty normal. I'm out of plus size clothes. I feel really, really good. So I'm not sure if I want to mess with continuing to

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

...and we're back.

Home again. I had a lovely week and a half in three European cities, in which I denied myself very little. I ate a bunch of croissants and other delicious bread-type things. I drank a lot (like a lot) of cocktails (un autre Campari spritz, s'il-vous plait; einmal noch Aperol sour, bitte). I came home with six RitterSports in my carry-on. I managed to consume nearly an entire döner kebab in one sitting. I also prioritized protein the majority of the time and walked a ton—I don't keep track,

nimiety

nimiety

 

Month nine

I thought I'd better get this posted before it's my tenth month!!!   Here's my 9 month pictures and update. I wasn't sure I could believe Jenn when she kept saying that little weight losses mean big inch losses at this point. I mean I believed it for HER because it was obvious but that could never happen to ME!! Until this month. It's so happening!  I haven't really changed pant sizes mostly because I haven't tried plus I've been wearing dresses more since they can be a little big and

CheeringCJ

CheeringCJ

 

Work work work work work.....

I said I was going to blog daily, but that has not happened. Ha! This last week has been very intense on the work front. There is a homeless encampment on University property that has been there for a long time and the university is basically evicting somewhere around 80 people from that spot. My work has been constant crisis management and feeling a bit like a failure when I can't find everyone housing (because no one can right now - my town is totally gentrifying and and it's a nightmare for h

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Today’s ride

I rode 16.52 miles today - 11.2 without stopping except to snap a quick pic of the lake - complete with some intense climbs. My ride ended in a cemetery, which is fitting for I am now dead. Lol! My legs could probably go longer, but my butt hurts so I’m done for the day. 

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

More bike stuff....

I've been enjoying riding my bike (which you all know because I won't shut up about it), but my husband had been feeling kind of low about it. He used to be an avid cyclist, but got cancer 2.5 years ago, recovered, and has had issues with neuropathy from the chemo ever since. He got on some meds that are working, though, so I basically forced him to go on a ride with me. Well, not so much forced as annoyed the crap out of him and aired his tires up and put his bike in the car and.... well maybe

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Headed off for some travel.

I'm about to take off for ten days in Europe. Two things about that relevant to this space: 1) I'm a little bit grumpy about the fact that I'm disrupting a really good groove. I've been interested in losing a little more weight, and lately that's been working out well for me: I've been in a good, easy, pleasurable routine that's made that feel very achievable. I'm seeing scale weights below the bottom of my usual range—the last few mornings have been below 177. You know what's not like an a

nimiety

nimiety

 

I signed up!

I signed up for a local bike ride in late September called the Square to Square ride. If you want to know where I"ll be September 22, it's here: http://fayetteville-ar.gov/1931/Square-to-Square-Bicycle-Ride  The ride is 30 miles on very hilly roads (but that's just how it is here - haha!). We have an amazing trail system here! The Razorback Regional Greenway spans 36 miles with some offshoots that provide even more mileage (especially in Bentonville and Fayetteville - two cities that have an

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

So close!

I’m still working toward the low end of my surgeon’s year out goal range of 167. This morning I’m at 168.  Next goal - 150. After that I will likely focus on maintenance and quit weighing outside the doctor’s office.  (The colors don’t mean anything other than I like lots of colors and I have a lot of pens and highlighters. Haha!)

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Happy hour

Well my org had a happy hour event. I drank half a Kentucky mule and ate a wing with the skin taken off and the cheese off some cheese fries. It was tough, honestly. Those social situations where there’s communal food and an expectation to drink are weird and difficult. I did have a nice time though. My coworkers and bosses are goofballs.  Last night I went to a launch party at my weight loss clinic where they were introducing the new minimally invasive cosmetic procedures they are starting

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Day one of daily blogging

Hopefully this won't just get annoying, but I'm going to try to blog about my WLS stuff every day, partially in an effort to get it out of my brain and get on with my life rather than focusing on it overly much in my day to day. I'm starting to want to move on somewhat, but I still recognize that it's a huge part of my daily experience currently. So I'm hoping that taking a few minutes to write down my thoughts about it in the morning might help.  I've been struggling with eating more carbs t

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Not Being "Good"

So my return here for the two-year mark has me wanting to think out loud about some stuff, I guess. I do really like this space for thinking through things. I often feel pretty out of step with the general discourse here or elsewhere in WLS support internet space. I have a sense of myself as a "bad" patient, I think, someone who gets away with things, who breaks or bends or disregards the rules, who doesn't work hard enough. The constant vigilance! The culinary monotony! The things that are

nimiety

nimiety

 

Two Years

It's been two years. I had surgery two years ago—well, two years and a week or so. Things have settled in. My goal with surgery was always the same: stop dieting, stop white-knuckling, find stability that works.  I've succeeded at doing that. I never hit my tentative goal, but I also (as readers who were reading back when may recall) didn't really have a goal weight—I never set out to reach a goal of thinness, or of a particular number. I did what I had wanted to do: found a place

nimiety

nimiety

 

Month 8

This months stats:  Well. I'm not sure.  See, I was having a mental battle with the scale as it dropped weight even more slowly this month. I so wanted to hit 100. I was jumping on it every morning and night and stressing the actual hell out of myself. So I handed my scale to my husband about 10 days ago and told him I didn't want it back until after my next medical appointment (August 21st). On the one hand, I wanted to go grab a ladder and get the scale from where he hid it so

delilas

delilas

 

I'mma brag for a minute

So today I rode my bike to work, rode to the downtown entertainment district/city hall after work to grab some dinner before a housing commission meeting, then rode to the trailhead that my husband meets me at after the meeting (actually I left early - it went REALLY long and I left at 9:30. My community is very passionate about public housing....). Anyway, all of these times I could have gotten a ride. All of these times I chose to ride instead. When I got to the trailhead, my husband wasn't th

Cardamom77

Cardamom77

 

Month 10ish - still losing!

Maybe not as fast as before, but I'm having a loss week this week.  I admit, I struggled this month, mentally and emotionally.  Intellectually I know that my weight loss is periodic - I stall for about 3 weeks a month, then lose over one week, then stall again for 3 weeks.  It's like clockwork.  But somehow I felt sure that this month's stall was different - that this was the stall that wasn't going to break, that I wouldn't lose anything, that I might even end up regaining.  I'd gone up about 2

Kio

Kio

 

Five Months of Maintenance

So, first of all, five months of maintenance success! Hooray! I’m basically always between 132 and 135, even when my calories and exercise vary a fair bit. That makes me feel fairly confident that I can do this. That’s a good feeling. I still wonder if I’ll be able to eat/exercise like this forever, and I have that old nagging feeling like things are going to come crashing down around me and I’ll start the regain process (again), but those feelings are a little quieter than usual right now.

Jen581791

Jen581791

 

Breathe, Emma (1)

I have this coworker who whenever she gets stressed out she says “Breathe, Tina.” I work in a call center and sometimes life can be pretty overwhelming. There’s always one more call to make, one more dollar that needs to be collected to hit goal, 1 more minute that I need to be chained down by my phone cord to make my productivity goal.    I feel like all week I’ve been telling myself to breathe. “Breathe, Emma.”  Not just because I’m overwhelmed by a lot of things, but because th

HalvingEmma

HalvingEmma

 

I gave blood today and had two great things happen...

First of all, the lady who was taking information said to me “how much to you weigh?” And for once I didnt’ have to whisper (or lie!) and I just said 166 like I was “normal people” and then later I got a free T-shirt and she asked me what size and I said large,  she said “that is going to be huge on you, you look much smaller than a large!”  WHAT???  You are my new BFF, lady!!!  Never leave my side and just keep reminding me that I am MUCH SMALLER!!! I think that is my weird  thing I am de

CheeringCJ

CheeringCJ

 

I'm Overweight!

I'm not obese anymore! I'm overweight! At least according to one BMI calculator on the internet. But I'll take it!  I'm feeling pretty good these days. Exercising more, though I really have to find stuff that's fun or I just won't do it. Riding my bike is good. So is roller skating. But so far the getting up in the morning to run or do body weight stuff just ain't happening. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I figure that instead of fighting that, I'm just going to find fun stuff that I'll actually do. Mayb

Cardamom77

Cardamom77