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So I had my 3 month follow-up appointment today and everything is pretty great! I'm down 63 lbs total by their scale, 52 lbs since surgery (66 total by mine, which is the one I go by since I weigh more often and have more reliable data here), which they consider to be about a month ahead of schedule. My blood pressure was 124/78, so they took "hypertension risk" off my chart since this is the second appointment where it's been in a good range. My heart rate was 62 bpm. I need to exercise more, but I already knew that and I'm working on it. My diet has been great, so there were no issues advancing to their stage 4 diet, where there aren't really any limitations other than stay relatively low-calorie, get my protein, avoid sugar, and keep the carbs down. Other than that, I'm free to eat what I can tolerate. I'm SO excited for salad!
I'm feeling good. My joint pain is almost nonexistent. I have a little bit of creakiness still in my knees, but it's not too bad and improving all the time. My clothes are either fitting better or falling off of me, depending on when I bought them. I can walk in heels again, though I'm still a little nervous about that so I'm not pushing it. I also need to get my rings resized! Though I may just set them aside and wait until I'm at goal weight before doing it so that I don't weaken the bands.
Speaking of goal weight, I've set a long term goal. It's 150 lbs. That's technically still overweight according to the BMI chart, but I figure I'll have some skin left over and I've always carried more weight than I look like I'm carrying, even when at an in-range weight, so I'm giving myself an extra 8-10 lbs to work with there. That means losing a total of 129 lbs. I'm already halfway there!
Whine, you know, is super low carb. Sadly, also low protein.
This isn't really a serious whine - just a touch of frustration. Part of it is with my weight loss pattern, and part of it is with my crazy brain.
So - like many of the other ladies here, my weight loss follows a specific pattern in tune with my monthly visitor. I tend to lose almost all my weight each month just before and just during my period. Even on months when my period doesn't show (I'm just starting to get it back) -- the symptoms do, and the pattern holds. So I lose a big bump of weight in about a week, a week and a half....
And then, for the rest of the month, zip. Zero. NADA!
You would think, since I'm fully aware of how this works, I'd be fine with it. Maybe even fine enough to stop weighing during the weeks that I know I won't be losing much if anything. But I'm not that gal - I weigh every day, and every day when I see the same weight (or a pound up, then a pound back down, then a pound up and then down again) I have this little internal "ugh!" of frustration.
It doesn't help that my cycle is kind of uneven. So my weight loss may "bunch up" in one month if I have a weight loss phase both at the beginning and the end, or it may lead to a month where I lose very little because my cycle hits just outside of my monthly measurement window.
The problem is - my brain. There's what I know with my sane, rational brain - that this is all about my cycle, that it's mostly water retention followed by flushing, yadda yadda yadda. And then there's what my crazybrain whispers at me: "The honeymooon period is over." "This is as close to goal as you're ever going to get." "Well, your doctor SAID you might not make it down to 200." Etc, etc, etc.
Right now I'm in my monthly stall phase, and though my body is telling me it's probably about to start losing again, my crazybrain is still whispering mean things at me when I least expect it.
It doesn't make me do anything differently... but it does sometimes make me a bit sad, when sadness is totally uncalled for. In fact, this is one of the happiest times of my life - I'm healthier, stronger, more fit, more able than I have been in over a decade. I just sometimes need to call myself out on it, so I can see in print how silly I am...
I cannot believe the changes I’ve gone through in the past year. It’s truly shocking. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have this amazing do-over that is WLS. Long story short, one year post-op and I’m where I want to be: 135 pounds, healthy, and happy. The losing phase is over (well, I want it to be, we’ll see how that pans out).
Thank you everyone at TTF for your nonstop and sometimes even relentless support. I have received kind words, insightful advice, interesting facts, heartfelt congratulations, and sharp yet timely reminders when I've needed them. Your nonjudgmental and sympathetic ears have perhaps been bombarded by a bit too much about me from time to time, but I thank you for listening.
One year ago, I was in Mexico, waiting for my surgery appointment. I was fat, depressed, desperate, afraid, but hopeful. My surgeon, a WLS patient himself, made me feel OK about seeking help and being the “before” picture. I felt like he was going to take away some of the burden of my previous failures and give me what I needed to be successful. I felt taken care of.
Before I started down the WLS path, I had stopped looking forward to the future, as it seemed like it didn’t hold anything positive or fun, but the idea that this surgery could turn all of that around and give me my life back was like a shining beacon of hope. I didn’t quite trust that WLS would be the magic bullet for me, but I knew that it was my best bet. I’d done all the reading and researching, and the stories were amazing - but in the back of my head, I held on to the thought that there wasn’t a guarantee of success. I might not be one of the successful ones, the ones whose blogs were so inspirational, the ones whose YouTube videos made me tear up with joy. I might end up like the remorseful, desperate, bitter people with their stories of why WLS “failed them.” This thought was so frightening. I’ve done the whole “lose a ton of weight and gain it right back” thing before, more than once. I didn’t want that to happen again.
Because of these dark little doubts in the back of my mind, I swore to myself that I would be *perfect* after my surgery. I would do *everything right*. I knew that this do-over was a one-time-only offer, so I wanted to make sure everything I was in control of was *absolutely perfect*. I knew my metabolism was crap, but I also knew that my will was strong, my desire to succeed was strong, and my ability to follow the rules on a diet was strong. Maybe my crap metabolism would not allow me to get to GW, but I wanted to be sure I was doing everything in my power to give myself the best possible chance. I didn’t want to look back on my first year out and think, “Well, I guess I could have tried a little harder.” So I made sure that I tried as hard as I could. I was basically perfect for a year. Not everyone has the fortitude to do this, but tapping into my own psychological strengths/weaknesses, I knew that drawing some hard lines in the sand would be my best bet. I haven’t had a piece of bread since early January 2017. Or pasta. Or rice. Or sweets. Or soda. None. It was easier for me to say flat-out no, so that was my approach.
My surgery was an unqualified success. I had a relatively easy recovery, and despite some initial doubts about whether I was losing fast enough (OK, we all think we’re slow losers at some point, thank you for talking me down, TTF fam), I lost steadily and well (one more time for the newbies: yes, I felt like I was a slow loser and I was going to fail!). My feelings after the first month were positive enough to give me back hope for my future, so I interviewed for and was offered a job back in the place I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to be doing. The future started looking like a fun place where I could enjoy myself and live my life as a happy and active person.
For my first few months, I was unemployed (well, and technically homeless, but that was by choice, so can’t really feel sorry for myself there), so I had plenty of time to make sure I was taking the very best care of myself. I measured. I weighed. I counted. I tracked. I made spreadsheets. I ate between 600 and 800 calories per day every day until I got to GW (with the exception of maybe 5 days at around 1000). Fitbit and My Fitness Pal became my obsessions because hey, that’s who I am. I was meticulous. With a twinge of shame, I will confess that I sometimes weighed myself multiple times per day “for science.” <— not recommended but sort of interesting to me - I usually weigh the least right before lunch!
Eventually I started to feel like a normal sized person again. I was down to a weight that made me hang my head with shame (and eat to comfort myself) when I was there on the way up, but on the way down, it felt fantastic. I had to buy some new clothes. They were still drapey, and I was still working hard to cover up my fat, but I felt better about myself. I was able to exercise and be more active, too.
I moved to the other side of the world at six months out. It threw my rhythms into quite a shock, but instead of resorting to food for comfort, I doubled down and took comfort in being in control of what I was eating. Many of my normal foods were not available (no cottage cheese, omg, tragedy strikes!), so I had to find new things and be resourceful. In previous moves to new countries, or even back to home from abroad, I always always gained weight, every single time. This was new: I was still losing. Within about two months of moving, all of the clothes that I had brought with me were too big. This was the beginning of my wardrobe worries. I fretted that I was going through sizes too fast. I fretted that I didn’t know what style I would seek out for myself when I started shopping in earnest. I fretted that I wouldn’t ever get to a place where I was really pleased with myself. This was all silly, of course - I managed to find things to wear just fine. I found a tailor to take in my clothes. I bought a few things. I started figuring out my style. And I’m totally happy with my current state.
All the new people I’ve met here think of me as being a thin and fit person (I feel a bit like I’m fooling them or like I’m an impostor, but I’m not). I mean, many have noticed that I’ve lost a lot of weight since I’ve been here, but they know I’m active and that I’m a health-food low-carb whole-foods protein-shake freak. I’ve taken up hiking again - I had always loved it but finally quit doing it when I got too heavy and it just became painful and unpleasant. Now, I’ve joined a hiking club and do it regularly (every week!). It’s not hard to haul myself up a steep hill. I don’t get wheezing out-of-breath tired. My heart doesn’t pound. I don’t have to stop and “admire the view” twice as often as anyone else. All a part of the new persona. Moving to a new country has actually probably made it easier to be a "new person."
In December, at just past 10 months out, I hit my original GW of 150. Woo hoo! I celebrated by buying a few outfits that are now too big for me That’s OK, though - they were a fun way to spend the day, and I probably would have spent that money on food previously, so all in all it wasn’t a total loss. I do need to get those clothes to the tailor, though, that reminds me. Anyway, there I was, at GW but not really certain I wanted to stop. What would I look and feel like a little bit thinner?
Because I cannot simply let things be, I spent the next two months fretting about when to stop. Thank you for your patience, support, kind words, and excellent advice, TTF fam. Finally, at 15 pounds below my original GW, I had my husband take some pictures of me, and hey! That’s what it took. Yes, I need to stop losing now. That was a week ago. Since then, I’ve upped my calories to about 1200 per day. That may need to go up, but I’m experimenting. I have now had the life-changing experience of NOT TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. Yes, for the first time in my life, I’m actually NOT trying to lose weight! I’m not planning a diet, figuring out how to sabotage myself or rationalize cheating on a diet, berating myself for failing on a diet, or in any other way dieting. I’m still tracking like a crazy fool, but I’m tracking to make sure I eat ENOUGH, which is hard.
I bought myself a pair of bright orange jeans yesterday afternoon. Because I can! For all of you pear-shaped ladies out there, I know you’ll understand. From the waist down, it’s been skirts or dark “flattering” colors my whole life. Please don’t look at my booty or thighs! However, I now have a small (absent?) booty and thinnish thighs, so to celebrate, I bought bright orange jeans. I’m wearing them right now. I also bought a pair of bright coral pink trousers. I hereby retire from the all-dark-clothes-all-the-time club. I don’t remember who on the forum said their shopping mantra was “If it’s not black, put it back,” but that has been my go-to color all my life. Well, navy blue or charcoal to spice things up occasionally, right? I’ve decided that I will wear funky bright colors and flashy stuff if I want to because I can.
While my eyes still do not always see a thin person in the mirror (I look fat to myself about half the time), I know that I am now a thin person. My sense of identity is growing to include “thin person” now, although my inner fat girl is probably here with me forever (you know, the one who thinks of excuses not to do xyz because it’ll draw attention to her various issues, or else thinks of excuses to do something food-adjacent to cash in on the treats). I can’t for the life of me pull a piece of clothing off the rack that’ll come close to fitting correctly, but I’m starting to learn the numbers game with sizes, anyway. I’m that person who always takes the stairs. I always have a food contingency plan - a carefully packed lunch and snacks, an emergency protein bar, and my ever-present water bottle. I go to the gym instead of watching TV or having a cocktail. My priorities are just very different. I’ve taken this year to cement into place some very different new habits that I hope will stick with me forever.
TTF fam, thank you so much for your support and friendship. They have meant so much to me this year - whether in awesome NSV moments or when I’m hanging my head over the toilet because I’ve eaten something that just didn’t work, you’ve been there for me when I’ve needed it! I love you all.
Today is a Snow Day so no work today! I'm cozied up in my CuddlDuds with some coffee, looking at the falling snow and thinking about how different my life is now compared to this time last year. Tomorrow is my seven month surgery anniversary, so I thought a list of differences to celebrate might be in order...
- Got up to get more coffee and just used my legs to stand up, did not have to push myself off the couch with my arms
- Woke up yesterday with some kind of (painful and debilitating) shoulder injury (turned out to be a tendon had slipped out and after a trip to the chiro is 95% better) and all I could think about was how this would interrupt my exercise routines (whaaat?!?). I should add that although I was in pain, I still went to my workout (modified of course) at 6 am (whaaaat, whaaaat?!?!)
- I have goals, weight/health related and other, and I am succeeding at them. It amazes me how feeling good about yourself health-wise impacts all other areas (I know, duh!)
- There is a long flight of stairs where I work that has created great anxiety for me, who's watching, am I breathing heavy, do I have to two foot the stairs...that I now actually look forward to climbing. I currently can walk up them without holding the rail and am anticipating a day when I can skip up them like young thin people do, without thinking about it.
- I fit in all chairs and no longer have to google restaurants before agreeing to outings to check to see if their chairs are sturdy or spindly. Bring on those cheap spindly chairs!
- I can zip up my old boots, circa 2003-ish? Because I've been out of fashion-thinking since about that time, I really have no idea if they are still wearable from a fashion standpoint, I think maybe they are, but they are zipped nonetheless!
- I am comfortable trying different types of exercise, classes, venues and am not worried that others including the instructors are wondering what on earth I'm doing there.
- Love, Love, Loving my exercise classes - they are the best parts of my day now.
- I am at the top of my list of priorities - I know it's such a cliche, but I can do all the things on my list of priorities and take better care of all the people in my home and work life when I take good care of myself. That means thinking about and acting on it every single day, not just with the leftover crumbs or special occasions. My health and well-being are worth those efforts. (again a cliche)
- I'm starting to be able to buy clothes at regular stores, have a foot in both worlds currently. BUT, just bought a school spiritwear shirt and not only did I not have to call the vendor to make a special arrangement for a really big shirt (beyond the plus sizes on the form), I also did not have pay $4 extra for a regular plus size. Most people would have no idea what a big deal that is, to just pick up the form, check the box and order your shirt.
- I am comfortable talking about my WL journey (when I choose to). Never talked about my weight with anyone really prior to this.
- I am no longer worried that I'm going to be crushed by my steering wheel if I have so much as a fender bender.
- I can run an errand or two and not have to take a big nap/rest afterwards (and bring in all the groceries, well okay the much smaller amount of groceries, and put them away and then do more stuff!)
- Sleeping comfortably in my bed after several years of armchair sleeping due to sleep apnea, reflux and just not being able to find a comfortable position.
- Find myself planning and participating in more social activities, many of which involve physical activity. February is a busy month this year!
- I could probably continue to think of more things all day, but probably the biggest difference is that every day I wake up and feel hopeful that my health, well-being, mobility, appearance and satisfaction with my life is going to continue to improve. Finding Thinner Times was the tipping point for me, causing me to decide that I would in fact go through with the surgery and where I found the community of people who were serious about making sustainable changes. I'm so thankful for all of you - for sharing your stories, successes, challenges, tough love, humor and compassion.
Namaste (yes, I'm a yoga girl now!) and happy Snow Day!
I can hardly believe it has been 3 months since I had my surgery! I still have yet to experience one second of regret!
I am down 47# (which is great but I was secretly hoping to be at 50# at 3 months but I am totally happy w/ 47….can’t remember the last time I lost that much…or if I even have!) I have been this weight before…it isn’t that I am tiny or light, but it just feels so different because it happened so fast that I barely can adjust! I forgot to measure myself this morning so I will have to do that tomorrow and post a separate post (don’t worry, I know you are dying to read my lengthy posts so I promise to give more details than you possibly want…and to keep you reading, I might follow it up with the pictures you’ve been asking for! Ha!)
I’ve gone down 4 pants sizes and my shirts are bigger (I have gone down a shirt size but I don’t like things tight so I could go down more but am not trying to bring more attention to my shape!). It is amazing how my wardrobe has grown! I haven’t bought a thing yet…I was going to go to a thrift store over the weekend but I went through some old things and got about 8 pairs of “new” pants! I wore a pair Sunday and it was funny bc I went to pull them down and realized I had to use the button/zipper which I haven’t used in so long I had forgotten I needed them! I have a stack of “new” (old) clothes that fit me now…I couldn’t even fit them in my drawers so they are stacked up on the side of them! I can get used to this! And it’s only been 3 months…I had NO idea that I would see such a difference SO quickly! Speaking of pants…I have single-handedly decided to bring back the Canadian Mountie style pants!!! All of my pants are too baggy in the hips and thighs and I looked down the other day and they were sticking out to the side like I was a Mountie and I thought “it’s time to move down a size or two!”
My wedding band is too big so I wear it on my right hand or if it is too big there, on my index finger on my left hand! I bought a smaller stainless steel one but it hasn’t come yet...but that should hold me over for a while because I don’t want to size mine yet until I am at a weight I am staying at.
My menstrual cycle is all messed up…but I don’t know if that is because I am 51 or if it is because of the extra estrogen floating about my body. I will just have to wait it out and see but boy, it is annoying! (especially since I figured out that I plateau when I ovulate and don’t lose again until menstruation begins…only I am stuck in a weird part of my cycle for the past two weeks…and it isn’t the losing part!).
Foods are losing interest for me…which is weird. It didn’t happen at first but now I have a feeling of “darn it, it’s dinner time and I need to have something to eat!” whereas in the past, I was like “yum, that was a delicious lunch, wonder what I can eat for dinner!”. So it is a weird thing, but also a little annoying because I don’t feel like cooking or eating. One thing I have noticed is I was a chronic taste-tester when I was cooking/baking before but I can NOT do that at all now! If I start tasting what I am making the signal is already at my brain that I am full by the time I try to sit down to eat….and I know I haven’t had my 4 oz (or even close). So, I have to figure something else out. I am going to try the gum trick and put gum in my mouth so I can’t taste something while I am making it. Otherwise I am not able to get all of my food in! Which just strikes me as so funny! Who knew I would be wired that differently…those signals never helped me before!
My niece married my best friend from high school’s son…I haven’t seen the friend since we lost touch after high school (back in the 80s!) and it is funny b/c I get anxiety seeing ppl I grew up w/ bc I don’t want them to think “man, she let herself go”! Anyway, I will see her in April when she throws a baby shower for my niece and I am not the least bit afraid of it. She is very thin (and adorable) but I am not upset at all because I feel great and I feel like I look great (which GOING UP at this weight, I felt terrible but oddly enough ON MY WAY DOWN at the exact same weight I feel AMAZING!) Isn’t that funny how that works?
I read an article last week (I think Jen posted a list of like 10 articles or so to read and it was in there) about 2 ppl that had WLS and the author followed them for a year and recorded how they did and felt and I was so intrigued by it. They both reported how their brains changed…not just the size of their stomach. I kept thinking the same thing w/ myself but thought it was just self-induced euphoria because I am losing weight so quickly/easily but iti seems it is a real occurrence! I am simply amazed at how differently I feel and act and present myself (I stand up straighter, I look people in the eye more etc). It is incredible how different the new me is! I barely recognize her, but I sure like her!!!
My labs were good….my iron down (but I’ve always been anemic and with my lovely new cycles, it is not surprising) so my PCP doubled my iron script (which means double the constipation! Ugh!) and my Vit A was low so I am taking one daily w/ my multivitamin now.
An interesting thing happened this month. My husband was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. While I don’t like the diagnosis at all, I know it can be controlled and he can get off the medication. The good thing was now he is eating more like I am (higher protein, low carbs) and it makes it much easier to make meals around our house. (however, and this is just a minor thing...I finally weighed less than him for only the second time in our 33+ years of being married...I was there once for about a month and then I gained and went back past him. This month I was finally below him again and that isn’t an insult to him, that is just an accomplishment for me…it’s embarrassing for me as a woman to weigh more than a man! But after one week on this new diabetic diet, he is 5# less than me!!! What are the odds? But in the scheme of things, I am glad he is getting healthier and I will pass him on my way down again, I am just at a plateau right now.)
I have heard you asking for my pictures…you know, because I am so "famous" here on Thinner Times (LOL!)….and I did promise I would post at 3 months. Granted, I have been afraid to post them because frankly they look fatter than I SEE myself and I still look at them and gasp! I can see a little difference but mostly I think “wow, look how big I am! But being a person of my word, although these pics make me feel uncomfortable, I will share them with you all. I know I am sounding silly bc I am posting them on a public board, but if you reply to this post, can you please not “quote” the whole thing so the pictures would be included in your posts? That way if the insecure me needs to take them down, I can delete them from my post and they won’t remain on the board (thanks). I know I sound like a nut but I am never so sure how I feel about this being public (if it were private I’d leave them here for posterity’s sake!) Anyway, the first one is the day before my surgery, the second one is one month after, the third is two months after and the fourth is today at three months, 47 pounds and many inches after!
I have also attached my measuring ribbons.....the end was 3 mo ago, then a line for each month post op....this is an easy way for me to visualize my shrinking!
For us folks here in the Northern Hemisphere, particularly the farther northern parts, its that time of year when you need to layer up and batten down. When you wish for luxuries like electric blankets, remote starting cars and heated car seats - the finer things in life which have become even more valuable to myself and my fellow losers! Winter has been particularly brutal in my neck o' the woods and after shedding over 120 lbs of excess weight (and more to go), my natural heating blanket has left with the pounds of fat. Many here on the forum can attest to the new 'always chilly' or 'always frickin' cold' mantra that we now sing. My song comes to the tune of a $281.25 electric bill for the past month, which would typically crest at ~$100. OUCH! I guess all of those times when I inched the electric baseboard heaters just a wee bit warmer have added up in a big way. I'm going to have start wearing a hat and gloves at home...
And now for your viewing pleasure, animals in sweaters!
Woohoo! I've made it through two months. It's both gone by in a flash and seemed to have taken forever, at the same time.I've lost 49 pounds since the day I walked into the first pre-op class, and 32 pounds since surgery. I have lost over 5 points off my BMI since surgery (over 8 points from my highest weight!).I feel like I have settled into a decent routine and Im hitting water and protein nearly without exception. I'm still pretty reliant on protein shakes to meet protein goals, but I expect that will continue until I can get more than 2 ounces of solid protein in.I'm currently eating lots of greek yogurt (dannon's "zero artificial sweeteners" brand is my jam), chicken, shrimp, babybel, and lots of leftovers. My dinners have been focusing on things I can easily make for both me and DH - something I can serve over rice or pasta for him, but is still fine for me without it - and I can generally split my "portion" into something I can eat several times. I've made gumbo or other creole dishes at least once a week, as they're cheap and easy to make a large amount, and I just portion out a bit each day to take to work with me. Snackwise, I love a small spoonful of peanut butter or 1/4 of a protein bar if I need something later in the evening. Or threading a piece of deli pepperoni, a chunk of cheese, and a black olive on a toothpick.I average between 65-70 grams of protein daily, 60-70 ounces of water, and about 600-700 calories. Some days more, some days less. The nutritionist today told me to try to up my calories, but honestly, I'm full all day long, and I can't get more than 2 oz of protein in at a time. I think I'll add a bit more fat in to up calories a bit for now and see how it goes.I'm walking most days and hitting the gym a couple times a week. I finally got cleared today to do weight lifting, which I enjoy far more than cardio, and I'm already looking forward to setting up a plan and getting in the gym. It was suddenly beautiful Sunday (50 degrees and sunny!), so I went out to a very muddy trail and happily traipsed through the woods. I can't wait for the weather to clear for more hiking! I have a list of 20 preserves/parks that I want to hit this spring.I am having hip pain on both sides after walking. Whether its a block or two miles, the pain is about the same and not something I felt until the last 15 pounds or so. I'm subbing collagen powder for whey a couple times a week to see if that helps. On the upside, my knees feel much better.I don't have to go back to see the surgeon's clinic again for four months, which is nice. They'll do my first real post-op labs then to check how my vitamin program is doing. I will admit to sucking at remembering my vitamins some days, but its getting better. Theyre taking me off my PPI today since I've had no reflux symptoms at all (thank goodness).I interviewed for two different jobs yesterday. Neither is my ideal, but either is better than where I am. One would be 4 ten hour shifts a week, which would be great to give me a little extra time to hike and record audiobooks this spring. Although it is largely assisting with colonoscopies so....thats a lot of buttsSpeaking of butts, if no one has told you today, you have a nice one
Well, here I am at six weeks post-op. I was in a no-weight loss rut for about 10 days. I'd lose a few tenths of a pound, then gain it back. Up/down, up/down. Finally, three days ago, I broke through the stall. I've now lost 29 lbs (29 since the liquid diet and 19 since surgery).
I've been keeping a daily diary of everything I'm eating and drinking in MyFitnessPal. That really helps me a lot. I'm sticking with the plan. I'm upping my activity level. I'm really trying hard to get my fluid goals met every day. I'm still not doing great with the fluids.
Otherwise, I feel really well. I've officially moved to regular foods. I've been tolerating things very well. We had chicken thighs for dinner one night this past week. I was able to eat 2 oz of chicken, plus about 2 tablespoons of a goulash-y veggie mixture I made, and about a tablespoon of mashed cauliflower. That's a lot of food for me. I'm up to about 700 calories a day now.
It's been awhile. I'm not going to make excuses. I fell off the wagon. My old eating habits kicked back in for a bit, as did depression. I'm getting back on track now. Thankfully, I only regained a couple pounds. However, I saw where I was headed.
Some good news...blood test results, breathing test and EKG came back okay. My vitamin D level is a little low. But, there is nothing that will prevent surgery from happening. On my next appointment, endoscopy of digestive system will be scheduled.
I hope ya'll had a great Holiday season! I will post more soon.
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Here I sit, worried. My op is next Tuesday but I fly out on Monday alone, to face my future head on.
I've watched the vlogs, I've read the blogs I'm very ready to have this op.
I know it's not going to be easy, I have a fear I'm going to die on the operation table, and flying home after 5 days makes me wonder if I'll even make it through the airport from gate to exit without collapsing. Maybe I'll need a lift on one of those electric trollies to beep me through, a fat VIP!
Will my mind trip me up post op? Will my addiction fight back?
Oh dearey me, This is a happy first blog post!
One day at a time, just one foot in front of the other. Lets try to look at this from another angle.
Ok, here's a positive. I started my low calorie diet on Friday and have already lost 6lbs. There. That's my positive
Time for tea
Everything is going well. I'm currently weighing 240lbs. That's 113lbs down form my highest weight. 66lbs down since surgery. Average 13lbs loss per month. Pretty good. I had my 100 day post-op checkup with my clinic last month. Checked in with the nutritionist, psych, and nurse provider. Everyone was pleased with me. I'm pleased with myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing too slow and sometimes I feel like I'm losing too fast. I'm just grateful to be losing anything at all.
Currently I'm in size 20W pants. Down from a tight 28W last year. Size 20W has always been my "lowest" size as an adult. I think I was a size 18W in Jr. High school. As an adult, whenever I would lose weight I usually made it down to a 20W and then the weight would slowly creep up and so would the pants size.
Size 20W is my comfort zone. I love me at this size. I feel great at this size. I love the way I look at this size. I get compliments at this size. Men notice me (and smile at me) when I'm this size. Feeling so good about being this size is probably why I would start slacking off on my diet or stop exercising in the past which would cause me to start gaining again. I have no intention of slacking off on my diet this time around. But I don't know what the future holds for me once I get to size 18W. It's going to be a whole new world for me.
I'm feeling pretty blessed overall. I was reading some posts/blogs and watching some WLS youtube people and see a lot of post-op folks struggling. I'm grateful I have not had any further complications since recovering from the surgery. I have not had any more problems with constipation. I am not having any problems eating anything (except lactose). I don't have nausea problems or vomiting (unless I get too much lactose). My biggest hurdle is still not eating often enough because I never feel hungry. And my second hurdle would be not eating enough when I am eating. I get disappointed with eating. I don't get much joy out of it before. It's a job now. Even if I'm eating something really tasty, I can only eat 1/2 cup. I miss the days when I could pig out and lick the plate clean. That's not my life anymore. I get sad about it sometimes. But I've also been really happy trying new foods and finding protein products that are tasty. It's a fine-line balance of happy/sad when it comes to food. I'm sure we're all going through that rollercoaster.
Other than all that, life is good. I took a brief vacation to Las Vegas. Had the joy of not needing a seat belt extender and could even cross my legs AND use the tray table. Ate some nice meals at fancy places - cheaply! - during happy hour. Perfect for appetizer portions and inexpensive. I did try some wine. Wine is delicious. I can sip a glass of wine for an hour, enjoy being social. I never once felt sick, or overly intoxicated, and I can go to bed sober and wake up feeling good. Wine could be slippery slope for me because I love it so much so I will have to make this a "special occasion" treat and not a frequent thing. Empty calories and potential for abuse if I indulge too much.
So that's the update. I have my 6-month checkup in January. I will be doing my blood/lab work for the first time to make sure my vitamins and all that stuff is correct. Then I won't see the docs again until my 1 year appointment in July.
Ta ta for now!
I had my 6 month follow-up today, though technically 12/14 is my 6 month mark. Everything went great. I weighed in on their scale at 169.8 (their scale is still heavier than mine). BP was 138/80, resting heart rate was 68. They said my BMI is 25, and I am no longer overweight. She was so complimentary, and it was so affirming for me. She said I get an "A+" LOL.
The lowest I can ever remember weighing in my adult life was 165. That was 20 years ago when my girls were young. When setting my goal weight, I decided to try for 10 pounds less than that, since I was going to have this handy new tool to help me. 155 became the magic number. The doctor/nutritionist said 155 was surely do-able. I am continuing to focus on that goal and I would love to reach it by my birthday on January 24th. If not, I won't be shattered. I will get there soon enough.
Food is still very much a mental game for me. I was off work the week of Thanksgiving, and was not able to exercise very much. I was also around foods/carbs/sweets that I don't normally have around me. I rationalized one bite of this, or a bite of that. After that week, I was up .6 pounds. I was angry at myself. I swore at my scale. I was immediately crabby. My husband looked at me and said, "My God babe, it's only a half a pound." Yep, I was pissed over 1/2 a pound! But that 1/2 a pound put me back in the 170's and I didn't wanna go back there. Sounds crazy, huh?
Over Christmas we are off work for a week and spending the holiday with my daugher in Wisconsin. Luckily my daughter is a healthy eater, but I know I won't get much exercise as it is freezing outside there...so again....I worry.....
Maintenance is coming. I am terrified. #HowToMaintain I am very interested in hearing from people who were exercising through out their entire weight loss period. Did you just add some calories? Allow a few more carbs?
I know I have been a little MIA lately - life has been very busy between family and work. I am now eight months out and down almost 70 pounds. I am So, So happy and I have no regrets whatsoever. I am still dealing with the side effect of thinning hair but I have realized that if I really focus on getting my protein in and supplementing with Biotin that it does help. I found the best way to get protein in is to use a Yetti cup with the iso-pure Alpine punch. It is 40 g of protein per bottle and when it is super cold, you do not get any aftertaste whatsoever. I have also recently started taking 10,000 MCG's of biotin to help with the hair loss. I sprinkle in a little bit of the X fusion hair fibers so you really cannot tell about the thinning hair. I think it is more noticeable to me than it is to anyone else. I used to get handfuls of hair falling out, now it is just five strands. I think I am finally passed that part of the journey thank goodness . Another side effect of the sleeve is that I do have a much sensitive stomach or I should say noisy stomach. Within 10 minutes of eating, my stomach starts gurgling away - too bad I don't have a mute button for that! With having this extra weight off, it does make it so much easier to be more active. I am trying to incorporate in more walking into my daily routine. One of the things that I have started doing is at work I avoid elevators in the parking garage. I will park at the top level and walk up-and-down twice every day. I also try to sneak away in the mornings to go do a quick mile on the treadmill at work. I try to time it during my favorite show, The Price is Right so that I can get my fix of Drew Carey for the day. I know it is not running marathons but I figure every little bit helps. I actually caught myself wanting to run on the treadmill which just a year ago I never would've even considered doing that. I have been traveling a lot for work these last three months which used to be so hard on me but now is not an issue at all. Rushing through airports with heavy bags doesn't even phase me now where as before I would be huffing and puffing just to go a short distance. Again I have no regrets. I know I still have a ways to go but for the first time in a long time I have hope and believe that I can get to where I want to be!
My vomiting hasn't ceased, both effortless/involuntary rumination and episodes so violent I nearly pass out. Eating is a painful chore. I've been taken back to a liquid diet and am scheduled for an EGD on Monday. I'm no longer afraid of tube feeding. At this point I may welcome it. Just holding out hope for things to get easier. After years of complications, I'm a little disappointed this surgery hasn't alleviated my symptoms. At least I've lost 25 pounds since. That's something to hold on to.
I am a slow loser....
At first it depressed me, it aggravated me, and had me wanting to give up. Its my way, its the way Ive done this journey for the past 3 decades. I am good at losing weight, but when it stops I give up.
Now here I am, I haven't lost any weight since June. I only lost 50 pounds since surgery......it pisses me off.
Now I can say, I have not been perfect, but I can count the number of times I have eaten off plan on one hand, I can remember each time in the past year vividly because the pain it has caused.
I do not eat bread, pasta, starches and very limited sugar. By that I mean I will have a life saver now and again and my vitamins do have sugar in them.
I go to the gym three times a week and do the machines, I can see the results, especially in my shoulders and arms. This last summer I wore tank tops for the first time in a couple decades.
I have this love hate relationship with this forum. I love reading about people who have lost weight, but it really makes me angry as well. People who have started at a higher weight than I did and have twice as much in half the time. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! but yeah them!
But here I am, a little over a year since surgery and I am stuck at 160 pounds, on my 5'2 frame. My goal was 130, but I am stuck at 160. STUCK!
I've tried everything, I've upped my calories, I've lowered my calories, I've upped my carbs and lowered my carbs. I even tried going into ketosis by stop taking my vitamins.
I am averaging about 1200 calories a day....which leads me to my other thing.
For about a month now, I have been constantly hungry....yeah I know, the end of the year honeymoon period thing. But OMG, the constant hunger. I know its not a vitamin deficiency(which was my first thought) because I had my blood panel and I am in the standard range for everything except b-12 which I was WAY high on because I was taking too high a dose.
So I graze, mostly at night. So to compensate I eat smaller meals, really just a few ounces of protein, thats what I eat, in one form or another, protein. Veggies are like a luxury to me because in order to get my 80+ grams of protein in I stick to protein snacks, lefts overs, eggs, cheese and nuts.
But yeah, I'm stuck...160.....but ya know what....I dont care! I look at before and after pics of myself and I am proud, and for the first time since 1985 I can look at pictures of myself and not cringe. I went from 3x to L-XL. I can wear cute clothes, I can wear a PDF when I kayak.
I am not giving up.........Yes its been a LONG stall, but I am not giving up. Just 30 pounds to go.....I will get there. It might take me another whole year, but I WILL GET THERE. Because regaining the weight I have lost in not an option. Its just not!
All I have to do is look at my before pictures to know, regaining is not an option.
Here I am rambling....but this forum is my ONLY support. No one knows about my surgery....maybe that's why my slow weight loss is a good thing. If I did lose 100 pounds in 6 months it would be obvious, but since I am struggling and losing slowly, I am just like everyone else on a diet.
Crazy ramble is over......
23 weeks and it feels a lot longer than that. Sometimes I can hardly remember my life before I did this wonderful and amazing thing for myself. I've found myself saying to a number of people that besides marrying my husband having weight loss surgery has been the best thing I have ever done.
I must admit I have been incredibly lucky. After my surgery I had very little pain and no complications. They gave me a huge box of medication to take for pain and I only dipped into them about twice. There's only been two times where I have suffered from dumping syndrome. Once was when I had some coco powder in my normal morning protein shake which I was able to walk off fairly quickly. The second was an apple and blueberry instant porridge. Felt like a weird thing to dump from and it was pretty horrible. I got sent home from work for that one. But luckily neither of them made me vomit. Fortunately – or maybe unfortunately – I can eat pretty much anything. A real wakeup call about how I am still the one who controls what goes in my mouth.
Sadly I am one of those people that feel hungry. But seriously after the pre-op liver shrinking diet I can handle hunger. Most of the time if I get that feeling I do eat something but something small like a little bit of chase. I had a strange phenomenon the past few weeks. Whilst eating I was getting a kind of burning feeling in my throat which I was thinking was hunger so I would eat more. That didn’t help. Sometimes it made it worse. My go to for any bad feeling stomach wise has always been to eat something. But then on Monday morning it struck me that maybe that feeling was fullness! So I really started to pay attention to it. As soon as it started coming on I instantly stopped eating and it was gone. So yup, that’s what it is. Looking back I feel stupid for not realising it earlier but I’m still learning about this new tummy of mine. It’s also brought me back to chewing the heck out of food and putting my cutlery down between bites. Oh how easy it is to forget these simple lessons.
Getting through a whole cup of coffee before it goes cold can still be a struggle. But that’s a small thing in the overall picture. I’ve been getting my water in and all my protein with no problems. My program really discourages you from continuing to weigh and measure everything you eat after a certain point. So I have backed off from that but I still check all the labels and keep a running rough estimate of my protein for the day in my head.
I only weigh once a month so I am unaware of any real stalls. Some months are slower than others but that’s to be expected. I'm due to weigh again on the first but so far I have lost 73.5 pounds and 29 inches on various parts of my body.
Pretty much all the clothing I own is too big for me. I've tried not to spend money on clothes but I was forced to buy some new trousers and bras a few weeks ago. Some of my older clothes from the last time I lost weight (before it went back on) and a lot of those were even too big for me.
I’m getting loads of compliments. I try to take these quite humbly.
I’m still very worried about weight going back on.
A lady at work told me I was like a totally different person. That it was obvious how miserable I was before. I could only agree because she was right. I was a miserable person before I decided to have weight loss surgery. I never really realised how unhappy and sometimes mean I was.
I smile more, I laugh more, and I live more.
Someone asked me about weight loss surgery the other day. I told her to give it some very careful thought because no two experiences are the same. But that mine has been absolutely great and I love myself for it.
<3 Much love to all the people on this forum. I don't post much but I do lurk and read and take your advice. We've got some amazing people and support on this board.
A fair bit of time has passed since my last post so I figure it is time for another one. Especially considering I actually have a day off where I do not have to run a round like a mad man. As mentioned in my previous post my work life kind of exploded. I have been averaging 14-16 hour days with little sleep, but I have most of the people trained to the point that they can kind of function without someone there standing over them and as a result my hours are starting to get back to normal. Then again my normal is 12 hour shifts, so… really not that much different, just not as many days in a row.
Another plus on the work front is my wife finally finished the coloring book she has been working on and it is now published and available on Amazon! This has been a long project and has finally been completed. Just in case you are interested it checking it out here is a link:
Now for the WLS information:
I am now 86 days post-surgery and things are still going well. I have lost 85.1 lbs. since the surgery for a total of 101.8 since I began this process. I guess a pound a day is pretty good. I hope it keeps up because I still have a long way to go! I am still only getting in about 800 calories a day, less than what my doctor would like to see, but that is all I can really get in without feeling ill. I thought as time progressed I would be better at handling a little more volume of food in my pouch but that does not seem to be the case… I still only hold about 2 oz. before I get the uncomfortable full feeling.
Some of the side effects have been getting more… well… interesting. Being of Norse descent I have always had a natural immunity to the cold. As a matter of fact I have never had an issue of my hands or feet getting cold, even in extreme cold. My wife has always enjoyed this phenomenon because she has typically run colder and can always count on my ability to warm her up instantly in the winter. Well… that does not seem to be the case anymore. I think that Mr. Snow Miser has moved in and is messing with me. I am finding that my hands, feet and of all things my nose, have been getting cold… Very cold… especially my nose… What the heck is with that? The rest of me will be nice and warm and my nose is like someone attached an ice cube to it. I'm not sure what to do about the nose issue. When it is your hands you put on gloves... When it is your feet you put on warmer socks… but how do you keep your nose warm? Wear earmuffs front to back instead of ear to ear?
Start Weight: 465 lbs.
Surgery Weight: 448.3 lbs. (16.7 lbs. lost prior to surgery)
Current Weight: 363.2 lbs. (85.1 lbs. lost since surgery)
Total Lost: 101.8 lbs.
Starting BMI: 63.1
Current BMI: 49.3
Thankfully with my work schedule I have not had an issue of keeping my energy level up. Then again I'm not sure that I would know considering that I am constantly burned out! My hours are slowly reducing so hopefully I will have more opportunity to post and comment in the forum. Just keep in mind, I am still lurking on the forum and am keeping up with reading posts as I can.
Until next time… the saga continues….
I didn't lose weight in August.
I did a lot of other things, some of them productive and some of them pleasurable—and the month was a bit of a whirlwind—and I didn't lose weight. Right now, I'm sitting pretty much the exact amount of water I'm carrying because I'm carbed up (i.e. I've been eating enough carbs to keep my glycogen stores filled & thus retaining enough water to keep that glycogen soluble, which for me is about 5-6 pounds and a look of puffiness—higher scale weight, but stable mass) above where I was at the beginning of the month.
Now, I don't necessarily want to freak out about that. I feel pretty good about my body at this size, and the stuff that bugs me is post-weight-loss stuff, mostly—the skin stuff has gotten pretty real for me. My arms, my thighs, my stomach, my breasts—that's the stuff I struggle with.
I think physically I might be a little smaller than I was, but nothing major. The XLs I bought from the Gap were too big and the larges are right on point; I tried on clothes at J Crew and the 14s were roomy. I bought a one-size skirt from a boutique on West Broadway yesterday, the kind of store that doesn't even make an XL, and their stretchier larges fit just fine. I thought about a drapey blazer, but it just didn't feel like me—it's an adjustment, not just buying the thing that fits.
Anyway, it's time to decide what my approach is going to be for the rest of the year. My major priorities are twofold, and the first one is significantly more important than the second one:
1) I don't want to be a lifelong dieter—that was the whole point of surgery. I chose the VSG because it's the surgical option that's most like punching the reset button on your metabolism. Ghrelin production is a major part of the regulation of appetite, and removing the fundus of the stomach, where ghrelin is produced (and which is metabolically and endocrinologically central in other ways as well), suspends the metabolic freakout and defense reactions that would normally attend extremely low calorie intakes like those that happen after surgery. As metabolic function restabilizes, the body has the chance to reset a stable setpoint, is the hope. I want a stable setpoint. I want a weight that works for me that my body will defend as metabolic regulation reestablishes itself. I also want that weight to be sustainable for me without extraordinary measures. I do not want to be one of those people who's counting every calorie and striving for extremely low caloric intake ten years after surgery. I want to be able to settle into routines that maintain a stable weight without monitoring, or counting, or the more punitive kinds of self-denial. I want my eating life to be flexible, and pleasurable, and also sustainable and healthy. I do not want to be on a diet for the rest of my life. That does NOT mean that I won't need to keep an eye on things and check in, and keep best practices in mind. I committed to doing that when I signed on for surgery. But it DOES mean that if I can be 180 pounds and eat in a way that doesn't stress me out or 150 pounds only if I eat in a way that does, and sustain that way forever, I will choose the higher weight. Stability and sanity are, in combination, priority 1 for me.
2) That said, I have some vanity and lifestyle preferences. I would like to always be able to find my size in a straight-size store. I would like a little room for bounceback, should any occur. I don't have it right now. I'd like to have a low enough body fat percentage that plastics, if and when I go for them, can do as much for me as possible. I'd also like my cheeks to be a little less puffy, my cheekbones and jaw a little more defined. I've also thought about my powerlifting future. To be competitive, one wants to be at the top of a capped weight class, and that means either staying right where I am, or losing some more weight. The next class down caps at 158.5, so a walking-around weight of 155-160 would be a good place to land for that.
If the "window of opportunity" for weight loss after surgery—which is to say, the amount of time it takes your metabolic function to reestablish itself and a new defensible baseline of energy balance—is about 12-18 months, I've got about five months left. Putting in some effort in those five months to see if I can maximize the benefits of surgery would save me effort down the line, which is also a way I made the decision to have surgery. I decided that I was willing to devote some seriously intensive effort so as to reduce long-term effort. We're now in a place of slightly diminishing returns—that is, the difference between weighing 160 and 180 is a lot less significant than the difference between weighing 332 and 180, or even 200 and 180, frankly. So it's harder to get the energy up every day, especially when my life has changed and is changing in all these ways that make me want to run around and be a normal person and drink drinks and do whatever.
That said, the window is closing. And right now I'm feeling like it's worth a try to maximize that window. There are also other good circumstances for another push: the summer is ending, which means less orgiastic socializing, and the semester is starting, which means more routine. Plus, with the presence of a new person in my life, I foresee the necessity of fewer first-date drinks in my life! Not none, by the way—it's not exclusive, and it's also got some geographic distance—but definitely fewer. I'm looking forward to settling into something more routine for a few months. And so putting in some effort to see if I could lose another 20-25 pounds before the end of the calendar year seems worth it.
I'm going to try not to belabor myself with this. I'm going to remember priority 1. But I'm also okay with making some changes that would make the best use of my tools right now—cutting out Diet Coke again and making sure I'm pushing water, reintroducing protein shakes, skipping alcohol, and tightening up the ship a bit on food choices, especially carbs, all seem like sane principles for the next four months. Getting back on the scale daily seems to be working for me. I may go back to tracking in MFP.
I think there's some emotional ambivalence about being smaller than I am now, too, and that seems like an important thing to do some thinking around, but I can do that thinking while also putting in the pragmatic work. And the window is closing, so if I wait to decide, it may be too late to get the greatest possible benefit. So September-December are going to be a time of buckling back down after a loose, louche summer—not straightjacketing myself, just seeing what some reasonable effort can produce.
So I think that's the plan.
Hi everyone. Wow it's been a wild month, and I've kind of lost track of time and coming on here. So, a quick update on me, (Hopefully it's quick, we'll see!)
Two months ago, the house that I rented was sold. My old landlord told me two days after he sold it "So, I sold the place, take care!". We had lived there for almost 10 years. 10 years of life happened at that house. My son went from Kindergarten to 8th grade in that house, my youngest came home from the hospital to that house. Lots of memories. Well, the new landlord came by and served me with a new lease, and a "You have 60 days to get out" notice.
It is hard to find a place to live, especially when you have a zoo of pets and kids. It's hard to find a place you can afford. In fact, the stress of that was crazy. First, we tried to buy a house, and I paid off our credit cards in an attempt to boost our credit score. It worked, but not fast enough. It took almost a month of my 60 days for the credit to update and 30 days is not enough time to find a house that fits our needs, and close on it. I called the new landlord and begged him to stay, I even offered double our rent, and he was "Well, you are not the quality type of people I want living here, and I doubt you'd pass our application process". Wow. Just wow. Really, not the quality of people, I pay rent in advance, we don't party, we don't do drugs, not the type of people.
In a dark hour, I found myself at the local food bank, scouring through rentals, trying to find anything, anyone, anywhere we could go that would not put my kids out. I came across a newspaper (Yes they still exist), with a number on it, for a 3 bedroom house, with lots of storage and an option to rent to own. So, I called and left a message. About 30 minutes later I was called back, and a week later I signed a year lease for the new place, and with a bonus, we could keep all of our animals.
So, the past month has been moving houses, which is hard to do, and moving my mother in law in with us. As she was also evicted. It's been a heck of a process, that I find myself with little time to do anything else. I've had to change addresses for three kids in three different schools, in order to get my middle child on board with it, we had to do an inter-district transfer for her to remain at her current school. We now are paying for water, and sewer, and garbage. But I am not complaining, it's a house, it's a house that will feel like a home, and the location is great, I have no neighbors I have to worry about, literally, I am tucked away from a main road, with easy access but unless you were looking for my place you couldn't find it. I am thrilled.
But, that's not quite all that has been going on. First the negative. My sister in law, Michelle, passed away, two weeks ago, stage 4 breast cancer. She was my husbands favorite sister, and of course my mother in law is grieving from losing her daughter. It's hard to squabble about the petty things when something else happens that is devastating. The positive is that we were able to bring home another pet that was promised to my children if we ever had to move. His name is Marley, named after Michelle's favorite dog.
But again life is full of checks and balances. Outside of my personal life, my work life is happening. My manager had retired, which left an opening for his position. Out of three people, I was given it, however, yesterday news came down that his father passed away, which was his reason for retiring, so yay I was granted the position, but yay the position may not be available. Will have to wait and see which puts me in flux. It's difficult to be in flux, I am someone who likes to know what is going on. But, to balance that out, August 1st was a year from when I had my surgery done. This past year has been amazing, the ups and the downs. I am thankful for it all. For the negatives for showing me what I can get through and do, and the positives showing me what the rewards can be.
A year and a month ago, I was obese, depressed, frustrated. I had no sex drive, no drive really to do anything. I was tricking myself into thinking I was happy when I was not, and I made a change for the better. I took a plunge and I am so glad that I did. At my highest I was a little over 290lbs, As of this morning, I weigh 154lbs. I fit into size 8 in pants, and small in shirts.
My Progression :
Day before surgery -
Two months after surgery -
Four months after surgery -
6 months -
Seven months -
Nine months -
I am thrilled with how I look. I am so glad that I had my surgery done. I have excitement for a future in which I didn't even know could exist a few years ago. I am excited and happy for whatever lies my way. (Thanks for reading :D)
I finished my 6 months supervised diet, as required by my insurance company, on the 25th of July, when I had my 6th telephone appointment with my surgeon, who is in CA. I was hoping to be whisked right into a surgery date, but it was not to be. I still did not have a clearance letter from my PCP, which was the last insurance requirement that I had yet to meet. As well, my surgeon still was not happy with the size of my liver, and wanted me to work on shrinking it some more, so she put me on liquids only at that point. 3 protein shakes a day.
In complete honesty, it did take me several days to get to being fully compliant on the liquids-only part.
Well, today was my appointment with the PCP. He did a pre-op examination and sent me home with the clearance document. I've just now scanned it in and emailed it to my insurance coordinator! Yay!
I have another appointment with the surgeon on the 16th, with a liver ultrasound a few days before. Hopefully my liver will be at an acceptable size and I can get this show moving along. The insurance coordinator already told me that Blue Cross is pretty quick about returning the approvals, so I'm hoping it will be done by the 16th. We shall see :-)
Long story short: WLS, weird medical stuff, compromise on goal weight, and suddenly losing weight again....HOPE LIVES!!!
Long-winded version: You know that feeling...the one that you get when you wake up and think, "I feel a couple pounds lighter today?" Then, as if you had suddenly discovered a poisonous ant colony in your briefs, you begin sprinting while shedding every layer of clothing....all the way to the scale. And....you were right!!
FINALLY!!! I had to force myself to stop the ensuing spastic happy dance long enough to work out and share my joy with you lovelies.
Why the question mark and shock??? I had given up on my original goal weight of 135. It wasn't because I thought I was getting too thin and it wasn't even because everyone on the planet wants me to "pump the breaks" at 150 lbs....
As some of you may know, I struggle with Mollaret's Meningitis, a sneaky form of viral meningitis that lives in you for a mean length of 20-ish years, having recurrent episodes of acute infection and a 50/50 chance of permanent neurological damage that can range from seizures to coma. Scary, right? Well, yes, it's painful and a scary, but it also comes with debilitating light sensitivity, unbearable migraines, and seemingly endless bouts of bedrest. (Because inflammation and aggravation extend my episodes...ugh) You can just imagine what bedrest can do to your weight....especially when it's coupled with medicine that affects my memory (me:Who ate all the bananas?!?!?!? Hubby:"You did, dear.") Now, add in the fact that they essentially have to use neuro medicine to shut down feeling to control pain (so I'm not on huge amounts of fentanyl...no thank you). The result of that is: I no longer know when I'm "full." Nice, right?
I had a major compromise process with my docs...I would begin limiting my exercise to no or low impact, and I would bend on my goal weight....agreeing to prioritize my brain health. I'm a math geek---brain function is pretty important in my life. So, I've agreed to allow them to use me as a guinea pig...using new studies to guide their preventative plans.
Because of this, I've been placed on some pretty severe preventative measures by my neurologist and infectious disease doctor. To limit stress and inflammation, I am complying with intermittent fasting (so my insulin only spikes once per day) and a ketogenic diet (to minimize brain damage).
ALL of these things have really played with my weight. But, I think I may have finally (6 months later) reached a point of homeostasis in my body.....
There may, indeed, be hope for my long term goal yet!!!!
Today 5 years ago I had my bypass and it was the best choice I made. Were there ups and downs? Yes but I have no regrets. I was 300 lbs and now 180. I got as low as 150 which was a healthy weight but looked sickly on me. Where I am now, I am happy. I feel and look good. My high blood pressure is no longer an issue. And my fear of getting diabetes has been pushed aside. Tomorrow is my workout day and I am looking forward to going there and staying as fit as I can.
The best thing about getting a divorce was moving to this complex that has the nicest pool ever. I think my daughter and I have been every day since it opened. No kidding.
I was just thinking it is so nice to just swim and not feel self conscious about being over weight. And to not get winded or something when I'm playing with my daughter.
At the same time, the typical female brain of a woman living in this culture starts doing really annoying things. Like looking at other women's bodies and missing my curves, missing my larger size breasts, looking at women in bikinis with totally flat stomachs and realizing I will never have that. I just wish when I was young and thin I would have appreciated my body for one damn day!
Oh well I tell myself I need to love myself. I didn't have surgery to look good, I did it to feel good. And I need to love the fact that I made the right choice for me. This surgery was so life changing.
I live in an area where half the people at least are from other countries. And so there are many times I am literally the only white American at the pool, which is fine, that's how I like things to be, I've always tried to put myself into situations where there is a lot of diversity. One thing that really bothers me is that the women from some countries apparently aren't allowed to swim. But their husbands can. And I just feel like it's so unfair. I have seen everything from a woman wearing a sari, a woman wearing the full on hijab with the full body gown/dress thing sweating by the side of the pool, and then just women who apparently have to wear long pants and three quarter length sleeves at all times.
And I look at them, then look at their husbands, and I just feel like this is shitty. This is so shitty. And then I wonder what they think of me, not just me, I wear a suit that has swim shorts and a tank top type thing, it's more sporty than sexy. But then you see women with huge breasts with them just hanging out or suits with almost butt floss. And I wonder what these women are really thinking, are they feeling like we American women are slutty? Does it bother them that their husbands can see us but they have to sit there in the heat and just watch their families have fun? I do have to say the husbands don't seem to notice the American women, they feel very safe and like they aren't pervs or anything. I'm not trying to say that at all. Most of them are focused on their kids and it's cute to see.
Or who knows, maybe the moms are thinking about something else and it doesn't bother them or they are so devout that this is their religion and this is how it is, this is their role and they wouldn't want anyone to feel sorry for them.
I love swimming and if I couldn't swim because it was supposedly wrong for me to show my legs and arms in public, I would be so sad.
Hi I had my surgery on 4/4. I had complications - my esophagus was perforated during surgery resulting in a second surgery you the next day to have a stent inserted into my esophagus so it could heal and a third surgery 5 1/2 weeks later to have the stent removed. While the stent was in eating was a challenge and I threw up or heaved for weeks so I kinds missed the stages of purée and soft mostly i don't remember because of all the meds but lost almost 40 lbs. It was pretty miserable and I am still having some issues because of the perforation, that coupled with missing food I am weepy and feel sorry for myself way to much! I read how people are so glad to have had wls and it was the best decision and I hope to feel that way soon. I have gotten a little better with missing food but then I have a bad days with the health problems because of the surgery and it brings me down and I wonder what in the world I have done to myself. Since the stent was removed and I actually began eating I have lost about 7 lbs in a month. One problem I am having in particular is constipation! Yikes I think my body forgot how to poop! I am adding benefiber but I have to add a laxative at least every other night. Any advice on this particular issue would be appreciated! So that's my basic story, I have been reading forums and it does help but this is the first time I wrote about my journey.