rhonderoo

Retail "Therapy"

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I'm glad I found this section of the forum.  I've always been a "shopoholic", and in the past few years got my life and credit back in shape and under control.   I started noticing the closer my surgery got, the more impulsive I got when it came to spending money or buying things.

 

Literally, the day I came home from surgery I bought, like six jugs of protein powder.  In this time, I've spent a lot on jewelry, house hold items, etc. and it's like I'm on autopilot when I'm doing it.  And one is not enough... And I've noticed it's been excessive and building since surgery, since I can't impulsively eat as much.  It's like the food addiction has been transferred over to spending. 

 

I've transferred food addiction to shopping addiction, although they both have been intermingled for most of my adult life - in fact, it may be more about impulse control.  I grew up poor, and never got things "just because".  When I graduated and got a good job I found it easy to buy things and did.   After ruining my credit and my first marriage, I made myself do some tough things and got my spending under control and fixed my credit and even bought a house, and am remarried.    

 

I'm making an appt to talk to the counselor I had to see for my surgery to get this under control before it becomes worse.  So far, I haven't spent that much (relatively speaking), but have run up a couple of cards more than I should.  

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This is not uncommon. I've got a touch of it too, only I use debit rather than credit, best invention ever! The only things I buy on credit are cars and houses, which is very infrequent.

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I started getting into the same issue, too. Even recently, though it's stuff that we've needed, but didn't need asap. I'm trying to keep that under control, but it's certainly hard.

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Me too!   I'm a bulk buyer -- if one is good, then 3 is better....... it's usually stuff I need (like vitamins), but if it's on sale or clearance, watch out, I've purchased the lot!

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oh me too!  I've got an Amazon.com addiction.  You can get anything you want on it and I do.  I'll be sitting at the computer - think of something I "need" and with just one click its at my door in 2 days.  Our neighbors are starting to notice all the deliveries we are getting these days!  I have got to stop its getting out of hand   lol

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I joke about this a lot, but it's pretty much true. But I've always been this way. It's just gotten even worse now that shopping is a whole new world. I have reined it in lately due to the fact that it's been completely out of control. My poor husband doesn't say much, but I know it's been way too much, especially right now.

And I am definitely a clearance/bargain shopper. It's a rush!

Truth be told, I have no room to put anything else, I have moved on to the guest room closet and my son's big (empty) closet. All of his stuff is in draws!

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Me too.  I have to make myself stay off of ebay and I'm also a fanatic for clearance sales.  Our freezer will barely close and I keep buying things to stuff it with. I tell myself that I like to have enough. Problem is, we've passed more than enough long ago.  So trust me, you are not alone. 

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I have been buying clothes like crazy since I started losing weight.

Now that I can wear a smaller size , all I can see are all the pretty clothes that fit me.

Staying away from stores and on line sites is becoming very hard.

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Yeah, I'm bad about over buying food, and running out of pantry space, fridge space and closet space.  My husband just notes that "another package from Amazon came today", but doesn't say much since my salary is the majority in the house, and I pay more than half of the bills.   But, when I look at the stuff I bought, it becomes clear that it's all about the rush of "getting it".  On days when I don't have something come from Amazon, I'm kind of bummed out... like a kid waiting on toy from the cereal box. Never mind that I paid for that toy!  I do get a lot of stuff from Amazon that I could buy at the grocery or drug store, like hair color, protein drinks, protein bars, etc.  And I get them subscription mostly, so there are always a LOT of packages coming that really, I would buy anyway.  But then there's ebay and the LOFT and others things... where its stuff that we may "need" but not asap.  Like a ladder.  The other day I bought a ladder, because we need one.  But we have needed one for five years, so it really could have waited.  :unsure:

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Truth be told, I have no room to put anything else,

 

This is one advantage of living in a very small (700 sq. ft. house). I cannot purchase a bunch of stuff I don't need because I have nowhere to put it. I have no desire to move to a bigger house, because I will have to spend money to figure it out.

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This is one advantage of living in a very small (700 sq. ft. house). I cannot purchase a bunch of stuff I don't need because I have nowhere to put it. I have no desire to move to a bigger house, because I will have to spend money to figure it out.

 

I couldn't help but laugh...spoken like a true man :P

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So I saw the clinical psychologist that did my pre-screen for surgery and she did say it could be addiction transfer.  She said it's not hoarding, because I go through phases where EVERYTHING MUST GO, lol.   I sell stuff on ebay that I don't wear anymore, including jewelry, clothes, and other stuff.  Plus I donate a lot.  She gave me some tools to use like breathing deep, listing, etc. because it's anxiety taking form in these things... like food, or shopping.   The purpose is to distract to get out of the circle that will inevitable happen (anxiety, eat/shop, guilt, anxiety, eat/shop, guilt, and so on). 

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I'm glad you are taking steps to nip this in the bud...are you going to the Aug support meeting?   I've not been to one yet, but think I'm going to that one...

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Is it Aug 7?  If so, I might go.  There's another one on the 5th.   They do help. 

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Is it Aug 7?  If so, I might go.  There's another one on the 5th.   They do help. 

 

No it's the 14th, and Dr. Kelley is leading this one!

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Will definitely go then! She's my therapist!! 

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Consignment and thrift stores! Sweet magic -- there is nothing quite like the thrill of realizing that wrinkled ball of chiffon that Goodwill wants $5.99 for is actually a Helmut Lang Pebble Silk dress, or the absolutely joyful disbelief that the dirty-looking, flowing-chiffony, one-shoulder gown that they want $20 for truly is Valentino from one of the to-die-for 2009 Collections (spring/summer, I think). Or the button-front vintage Levi 501s ... sigh. I'm loving thrift store shopping again. I haven't done the whole thrift store thing since grad school, when it was a financial necessity, and I had forgotten how much fun it is, how you can lose yourself for hours in those places. Such a wonderful way to get your shop on without having to take out a second mortgage to do so.

 

Granted, the extreme out-of-the world deals are few and far between, (although I just found a darling short Valentino blazer yesterday!), but you can find decent brands like The Limited and Banana Republic fairly easily. You just have to wade though a lot of junk. Less so, if you go to consignment stores.

 

I started shopping thrift again, simply because I am losing weight so quickly that I am going through sizes at the rate of one or two a month. Not bragging!-- I'm slightly over-medicated on my thyroid meds, and my doctor has already told me, quite sternly, that she's bringing my dosage down when she gets my next results in January. So, the rapid weight loss will slow down soon enough, but now that I've rediscovered my love of thrift and consignment stores, I don't know that I'll stop when I reach my goal weight. Because spending $50 and an entire day looking at possibilities in a size 6 is a pretty nice addiction to have, IMO :)

 

Lots of good online consignments too! I'm loving Snobswap right now, and Polyvore also has pre-owned items.

 

The one hard and fast rule I have is that when I bring a new batch in, an equivalent number of old clothes goes out. It can get tricky giving away clothes you've outgrown without insulting people. I find that telling people my breasts have shrunk disproportionately to the rest of my body with all the weight loss (true!) works pretty well. That's obviously not going to work for everyone here, but you get the general idea. Or I just give a bag to friends or family and ask them if they know of anyone who can use the clothes. Usually, they do. I always make sure the clothes are cleaned, dry-cleaned if necessary before offering them to someone else. That seems to help also.

Edited by JaeJae

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I am somewhat of a hoarder. In my defense, I've worked for myself for 35 years repairing church organs, and most of what I collect is spare parts. Hard to let some of this go, because it has potential monetary value, but I do hire a dumpster on occasion and get rid of things I know will never be used. Four old organs and countless parts went into one last year.  It's time to do this again...

 

And I still have lots of huge clothes to donate. It's a very rewarding feeling when I do that!

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I've already gone through the stash of clothes I had from six or seven years ago when I was down to this size, and now I'm going down to sizes I don't have, so it'll be thrift shopping for me... I can't afford the new stuff at the rate I'm losing.  Even if it is 1 size a month (I'll take it!!!).

 

I have a bunch of Ann Taylor, Chicos, Lane Bryant, Talbots stuff that I'm going to take to the consignment store Saturday, I think.   

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I don't think my shopping is an issue -- it's more of a I like makeup and shoes and jewelry again as well as I need something that fits!  :)

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I've already gone through the stash of clothes I had from six or seven years ago when I was down to this size, and now I'm going down to sizes I don't have, so it'll be thrift shopping for me... I can't afford the new stuff at the rate I'm losing.  Even if it is 1 size a month (I'll take it!!!).

 

I have a bunch of Ann Taylor, Chicos, Lane Bryant, Talbots stuff that I'm going to take to the consignment store Saturday, I think.   

How'd it go with consigning your older clothes? I've not had much luck with that, I'm afraid. I find they either don't like my stuff, or they want to underprice it so badly that I'd just prefer to donate it to a closet for women who are trying to get back into the work field. For example, I had three pairs of dress suede wedges for work (wedgies are the overweight professional's best friend! They give you a nice heel, while offering you more support than a pump, for example). They were J. Jill wedgies in black, brown, and gray, and they cost $125 a pair. I never even wore them once -- bought them prior to surgery, thinking that surely my foot size wouldn't change -- as you've probably learned that's a total myth, especially if you have diabetes, as I did. I'd have killed to find these shoes, brand new, at $50 or even $75 a pair, but no such luck. The consignment stores rejected them outright. And they wanted to give me $5 for a never-worn pair of silver-grey suede ballet flats that retailed for $100! Like I said, I'd prefer to see them go to ladies who are interviewing for their first professional job ever, anyway.

 

So, good luck with your thrift store experience! The great thing about losing weight, is that there tends to be way larger choices for the smaller sizes. Sad, but true. Anyway, good luck to you! You seem to be right on track. Feels great, doesn't it?

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I have made a few bucks at my consignment shop. I feel okay with whatever price they choose to sell it for. Whatever she doesn't sell goes to a church thrift store.

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I went through my over stuffed closet yesterday and have about half of it to get rid of.  I will be listing all of it on ebay.  I need to try and recoup some money back on some of this barely worn stuff.  sheesh.  I have some shoes that were never worn, some that were worn once and a bunch of size 8s, a few 10s and a gorgeous 14 black dress that I wore to my daughters wedding and never again.  sigh.  I have a lot up in the attic that I never seem to be able to get to due to the heat.  That'll come this fall.

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I went through my over stuffed closet yesterday and have about half of it to get rid of.  I will be listing all of it on ebay.  I need to try and recoup some money back on some of this barely worn stuff.  sheesh.  I have some shoes that were never worn, some that were worn once and a bunch of size 8s, a few 10s and a gorgeous 14 black dress that I wore to my daughters wedding and never again.  sigh.  I have a lot up in the attic that I never seem to be able to get to due to the heat.  That'll come this fall.

Same here.   I sell all of my old clothes on eBay.  Well, aside from the 4 boxes of stuff I sent my sister.  Really nice stuff, basically a new wardrobe that she would never buy herself.  She's lucky I love her :)

 

Anyway, I have made a good deal of money (~$3K) selling on eBay so far.  Unfortunately, what I spend is multiplied by that, but so be it.  I have a bunch of new stuff to list that is now too big again, and need to stop being lazy and just do it.

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They only wanted about three things, and I took the rest to the Salvation Army... I took them to Clothes Mentor though, and they are stuffed to the gills.  Of course, I bought a few smaller things while I was there.  I've got some LOFT, Ann Taylor, Chico's, White House/Black Market and Limited stuff that I'm going to sell on ebay.  Two pair of Seven jeans that I donated Saturday... *sigh*  Oh, well, it was for a good cause. 

 

I can usually sell clothes on ebay, even if I have to relist.  It just gets tedious packing them up and shipping them, but better than garage sale or consignment. 

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