Dees

I'm in trouble.

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I'm seeing a counselor. Let me get that out first, before I say anything else.

It's very hard for me to say anything publicly. Let me say that second.

A lot of you will judge me harshly. There are few people who will understand this. Lots of folks think it's hogwash. It isn't. It's real. It can happen to anyone.

I have recently relapsed into bulimia. I'm not proud of it, and I've been gone for a while, getting my head wrapped around it. I'm seeing someone, but I'm caught in a downward spiral and it's not good.

One afternoon, no one was home. I was on autopilot. I went into the bathroom and neat as you please, vomited into the toilet, standing up, spilling not a drop, without so much as a cough or unnecessary gag.

It scared me so bad after it registered what is done that I sat on the side of the tub for half an hour and stared at my feet.

I made an appointment the next day to start counseling. I need help.

It's not BS. This is an illness. I have a compulsory addiction. We believe it is related (as any disorder is) to stress, environment, and a few other things. I am not crazy. I have an addiction.

This can happen to anyone. Some are more prone to it than others. It doesn't make anyone better than me. It doesn't make me less of a human being. I just have a problem and I have to work through it.

I won't be around nearly as much. Some people will be thrilled (to be honest, some would dance on my grave if they knew id kicked the bucket). Some will not.

There were enough inquiries on my personal well being that I thought I would say something publicly, as hard as it is to do. Sometimes you have to put your pride aside and just do it.

I'm not logging anything right now. I think I recognized some time ago that it was inducing this state. My counselor confirmed he does not want me to log right now.

Please don't take this as a "poor, pity me" post. That isn't the case. I just wanted to give an explanation and an apology, if I've disrupted anyone's lives.

I may be back one day. It depends on how quickly I get this under control. I have lost 12 lbs in two weeks. This is not a good situation at all and I have to take care of myself before anything else.

If you're the type to pray, I will take all the help I can get right now.

- Rosie

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Hang in there, you're dong the right things to beat it.

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You are very important and I know how dangerous this can be. I'm proud of you for bring it out in the public and that you are seeking help. Please take care of yourself and check in when you can.  *hugs*

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Rosie, I will be thinking of you, I promise.  You are very brave and I am so glad you reached out right away to get help.  I know you can do this...we will be pulling for you!

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I'm here for you, day or night.  But you know that.  Just a text away!

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Thinking of you. Glad you're taking care of yourself!

 

Hugs.

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Good luck Rosie. I for one am not glad to see you go and look forward to coming back when you are able to. Good luck.

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Prayers and good thoughts being sent your way.  I am glad you recognize you needed help and have reached out for that help.  It's a hard thing to do...admit you have a problem and can't fix it on your own.  HUGS and PRAYERS!

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Best wishes for you Rosie!

 

Prayers being sent your way

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Rosie,

You are a very strong person. I have missed you and hope that you will come back at some point. I miss your participation. I will send my prayers and my love.

You will beat this and move on to a better place in your life.

Hugs!

Lennie

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Prayers sent your way, take care of yourself! 

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Prayers being sent your way.

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Praying for you, Rosie!

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I hope you know that you were missed and could feel our love and concern for you.  I agree you need to take care of you first.  Never any judgement you have an illness and are brave enough to face it and get help.  I am here if you need some love.  Sending healing energy and hugs to you.  

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Prayers coming your way.   I hope you are able to get this under control.   I'll be thinking of you...

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Rosie, you are loved and will be missed. I'm proud of you for not waiting, but getting help right away. I'm proud of you for being able to tell us. Not one ounce of pity. You can have love and concern and support all I have I'll give. In fact I'll loan you my 4younger brothers & sisters who are prayer warriors, they don't care about specifics, just that Rosie needs God's hand right now. Please come back when it's safe for you to do so & let us know how well you do, because I don't doubt you will.

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Praying for you!

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You can beat this! Take your time and get all of the help you need, We want you healthy and back here giving us all strength. You have been missed.

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Rosie, I am sorry you are going through this, but very happy that you recognized the problem and you are getting help.  Take care!

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Thinking of you, and you'll be in my prayers.  I'm glad you are getting help and I'm so very sorry that you are going through this.  

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Was thinking last night you have been missing in action. So sorry you are going through this, but so glad you sought help right away. Your family needs you. Your TT family will miss you, but we are sending you love and prayers for healing! Thank you for sharing, it is an important lesson for everyone to be aware of, take care of yourself and we will be here waiting. Jen

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Thank you, dear one, for letting us know what is going on with you. I have felt your absence--you're my "book buddy," after all! I'm grateful you recognized what was going on and grateful that you have started treatment. You have been an inspiration to me before, and even more so now. You've made yourself vulnerable for us and let us in on a very personal battle. I am with you in spirit, and hope you know that you can PM me anytime. 

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I've missed you! I count on your posts! You made a difference for me over the last 10 months! Hang in there! You'll beat this! Stay in touch, please!

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This struggle doesn't make you any less a wonderful role model for this community. Stay strong-and come back to us when you are able. Your presence has been sorely missed!

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I missed this somehow yesterday  :eek:

 

Anyway- U know my feelings. U will Always have my full support. You're one of the folks, I've always looked up to and admired. You're direct-But very caring and nonjudgmental. You don't treat people like crap or are rude to get the point across. I believe many of us appreciate those qualities. So don't be afraid to post your thoughts or feelings. U belong and your wanted here. :)  

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