tmcgee

I have not been honest with you

Recommended Posts

Tom,

I have no doubts that you will overcome this stumbling block in your life. You are someone I look up to, you have always had good advice for everyone and been generous with your time in doing that. Let me ask you this.......... What would Tom say to Tom if he was reading this post for the first time? I say this only because I know that you have the answer inside yourself. Your words inspire and motivate me and others as well. I wish you all my best and I am looking forward to the post that says " I am over my stumbling block"! I am sending prayers your way bro, you take care, I have faith in you.

J.R.   

I know I'll get past the problem, it has been a rough month personally with the losses of one 50 year friend and the sudden total deafness of another -- and the realization of what has been happening hit me unexpectedly like a ton of bricks -  like I was in Kiev (if you follow world news -- and you should on the BBC World Service) -- we are extremely ill-served here by US media.   You can stream BBC via the web, no sound bites, half hour shows. I hope it never goes away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom, I've been thinking of you and I will continue. You are such an inspiration and support! I know you will make it through this trial.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom, I'm sorry I missed this thread.

 

Do you know how very brave you are to have admitted this? THAT is the first step to recovery. 

 

I will be praying for you my friend.  Just take one.day.at.a. time.  Thinking of you my friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Still struggling. The hootch goes down the drain today. Haven't worked all week. I never imagined how intense this could be. Still feeling effects from a bottle of wine 12 hours later? Yikes!

Anybody thinking about drinking really shouldn't do it, it's overwhelming with nothing good about it AT ALL! Pure addiction, totally unexpected.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally missed this thread. No idea how  :blink: I just wanna say that you have my full support. I know how hard it can be from past experience. Anytime u need to talk you can message me and i will be here. Hugs 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom good luck to you. It was very brave to come forward. My father has been sober through aa for over 20 years. It may be something to look into though it's not for everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom, I admire your courage in admitting the problem. Seriously. The good news is that stopping is possible: I know quite a few people who have. I'm rooting for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

12 step programs have helped me a lot.  There are good online ones (I like The Recovery Group), if F2F meetings don't work for you.  The object of the addiction is only a minor part of it.  Its working the steps that helps the underlying addictive psychology and behavior.  Whether it OA, AA or Alanon- or some other group.  It can't hurt to try it.  Try a meeting, Try an online discussion, buy a workbook and start journaling questions, or buy the big book and just read it.  Any and all of those things have helped me deal with food addiction and transfer to other impulse addictions (shopping and impulsive spending are my first go tos other than seeking relief from struggles through food).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

or buy the big book and just read it.  

I have my father's big book. VERY old edition. AA worked for him and is working for my brother. Not so for another brother and I actually have been to several AA meetings, although it's just because they were being held in places where I was working.  I have a theory (quite possibly in error) that the in-person meetings work better for extroverted types. Back in senior year of high school, I attended a retreat that was largely organized and led by one of the AA founders so I know the story.

 

Like Buddy's dad, mine was sober for the last 15 years of his life, when he retired from being a draftsman, he became director of a halfway house in Boston. Dad was always attending meetings. At his wake, 3,000 people signed the guestbooks. I can hear him calling me a "hammerhead" right now.

 

I hate feeling like this, and will fix it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All right, the hootch went down the drain, let's hope that's the end of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SO proud of you tom. Thinking of you still. On a plane right now, but will touch base and see how you are doing tomorrow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I asked for help, and you've given it to me. Thank you all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An amusing aside -- what I've thought was my dad's 'big book' on the shelf for the past 20 years turned out to be his USN Bluejacket's Manual from 1940. I do have his big book here somewhere. Gotta dig it out. I truly didn't relate to most of it when I read it 25 years ago, mom should have given it to my brother at that time, but I'm happy to have it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Cathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I asked for help, and you've given it to me. Thank you all!

That's what we are hear for!  You have been in my thoughts every day.  Take it one day at a time and you will figure it all out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in the same boat.  I can't stop drinking wine. In fact I don't remember half the stuff I did the night before.  Take last night for example, I don't know how much I drank but I somehow managed to get the garbage out, start the dishwasher and put the kids to bed.  I don't remember any of it.  Last fall my neighbor's sister died of chirosis of the liver after having had WLS about 10 years before.  You'd think that would have stopped me but it didn't for longer than a week. Recently I started to get some pain in my lower left quadrant of my stomach.  I don't know if it's related to the wine or something else.  I'm embarrassed to call my doctor. One more thing,  I know I'd lose these last 10 pounds if I stopped drinking as well. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's great that you feel comfortable sharing it here. You should feel comfortable sharing it with your doc. He may be able to help you get help and will be able to do something about the pain. I worry about myself that this may eventually become an issue. I drank way too much pre surgery. I've been pretty good so far but am worried about slip ups

Edited by Buddymiles5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm in the same boat.  I can't stop drinking wine. In fact I don't remember half the stuff I did the night before.  Take last night for example, I don't know how much I drank but I somehow managed to get the garbage out, start the dishwasher and put the kids to bed.  I don't remember any of it.  Last fall my neighbor's sister died of chirosis of the liver after having had WLS about 10 years before.  You'd think that would have stopped me but it didn't for longer than a week. Recently I started to get some pain in my lower left quadrant of my stomach.  I don't know if it's related to the wine or something else.  I'm embarrassed to call my doctor. One more thing,  I know I'd lose these last 10 pounds if I stopped drinking as well. 

Tonight will be my second night without alcohol. I just refuse to be beaten by it. I solved one problem with WLS and starting another that I thought I licked 20 years ago just isn't right. I've had some memory loss as well, but what terrifies me is falling down and I've done a bit of that too. I'm an electronic tech and can figure out how things work and how to fix them. I hope you have some skills like that. 

 

What really got me this time was not recognizing it as a problem until a few weeks ago even though it's been going on for months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang tough Tom. You can do this.

Cathy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I truly do understand the lure of Alcohol. It numbs and blinds us to the raw emotions that we keep bottled up inside. What we need to remember is that it's a Deceiver. Only makes one feel good for a little while, then once the fun is over...Reality sets right back in. All the feelings we didn't wanna deal with before the buzz are back but doubled. I know there are times we rationalize the drinking thinking " But it makes me feel good, even if just for a little while" I often did this in my past. I was desperate to escape the inner demons. So many horrible memories and anger i kept pent up was eating me alive. Too painful to face or discuss with anyone...I choose the silent path of self destruction. Looking back it makes me so ashamed! I don't want to go into details about my personal life online. Not because i am a coward. I'm just really embarrassed. The important thing to know is that me and many others know how you feel. Healthy or not we all have or need some sort of coping mechanism. It's just human nature to gravitate to something that makes us feel good. I think you've made a brave decision by coming here to admit things. I'm never going to judge you or even say i have all the answers.     

 

I just wanna give you some support this morning my dear friend. Today is a Beautiful New Day. You are Strong and have made Positive+Healthy changes to your life. Take a moment to reflect on the Good and it can help you when you're having weakness. Remember that you're Worthy+Loved by your family and friends. You also have us here on TT to help you. Stay strong today hon.  :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for pointing me to this thread Tom. I read thru it all last night, thought about it, slept on it, because I was looking for the something to say that might be profound and make a difference. Gleaning through the pages of experience in my life, I thought about the things I've tried, the risks I've taken, and I don't understand why addictions and sobriety are problems I've never had to face.

So from the aspect of personal experience, I'm not going to be much help.

However, in reading through your thread, i have great hope for your future. Recognizing that you have a problem to begin with is perhaps the biggest step on the recovery road.

As I grabbed my iPad this morning, I went first to this thread and found the post above by ChiefsLady. How much more perfect could help be in this two dimensional environment? I think, not much.

Congratulations on finishing day 2 sober. Now there is the matter of today....

You can do it. Just take em one day at a time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I truly do understand the lure of Alcohol. It numbs and blinds us to the raw emotions that we keep bottled up inside. What we need to remember is that it's a Deceiver. Only makes one feel good for a little while, then once the fun is over...Reality sets right back in. All the feelings we didn't wanna deal with before the buzz are back but doubled. I know there are times we rationalize the drinking thinking " But it makes me feel good, even if just for a little while" I often did this in my past. I was desperate to escape the inner demons. So many horrible memories and anger i kept pent up was eating me alive. Too painful to face or discuss with anyone...I choose the silent path of self destruction. Looking back it makes me so ashamed! I don't want to go into details about my personal life online. Not because i am a coward. I'm just really embarrassed. The important thing to know is that me and many others know how you feel. Healthy or not we all have or need some sort of coping mechanism. It's just human nature to gravitate to something that makes us feel good. I think you've made a brave decision by coming here to admit things. I'm never going to judge you or even say i have all the answers.     

 

I just wanna give you some support this morning my dear friend. Today is a Beautiful New Day. You are Strong and have made Positive+Healthy changes to your life. Take a moment to reflect on the Good and it can help you when you're having weakness. Remember that you're Worthy+Loved by your family and friends. You also have us here on TT to help you. Stay strong today hon.  :)

AMEN SISTA!!  You said everything and more of what I wanted to say.  I too have many demons in the back of closet that I care not to share...maybe someday, but not now.  I self-destructed many times and some how managed to come out alive each time.  I thought that WLS was the one last thing that would make everything right in the world, but it just fed right into an old addiction that I am battling right now.  It took me weeks to see it, but after you started this thread, something hit me upside the head and now I am dealing head on...getting med adjustments, counseling, etc.  So see, Tom, you have helped me and many others that are reading this and you should be proud to have come here and pour your heart out to us instead of suffering in silence. 

You are in my daily thoughts...congrats on day 2 of sobriety and here's to many more!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom I hope Day 3 is going well for you.  I'm on day two but at least I remember and it will be a struggle tonight because after school we always go down the street to a friend's house so the kids can play and eat pizza and we generally have lots of wine.  So I think I'll take a protien shake can and just say my stomach is bothering me today and don't think I can drink.  Next week I'll tell them I will have to find another activity or bring some sort of tea or something to drink instead.  Have a great evening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom I hope Day 3 is going well for you.  I'm on day two but at least I remember and it will be a struggle tonight because after school we always go down the street to a friend's house so the kids can play and eat pizza and we generally have lots of wine.  So I think I'll take a protien shake can and just say my stomach is bothering me today and don't think I can drink.  Next week I'll tell them I will have to find another activity or bring some sort of tea or something to drink instead.  Have a great evening.

Will be thinking good thoughts for you! I should be okay tonight, there's no wine in the house and I purposefully took a detour around the liquor store on the way home from my service call today.

I'll feel better after a few more days, I know the urge and anxiety fade, and I'm trying to shake up my routine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tom I hope Day 3 is going well for you.  I'm on day two but at least I remember and it will be a struggle tonight because after school we always go down the street to a friend's house so the kids can play and eat pizza and we generally have lots of wine.  So I think I'll take a protien shake can and just say my stomach is bothering me today and don't think I can drink.  Next week I'll tell them I will have to find another activity or bring some sort of tea or something to drink instead.  Have a great evening.

Terri - you could put MIO black cherry in your purse, fill a wine glass with water and put it in.  Looks like your having wine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now