Buddymiles5

What to do now?

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So, I had my surgery back in the beginning of october. I had some complications which led to a later two week hospital stay. I got out, and was extremely anemic which has kept my activity level low. I am finally almost back to feeling 100% and want to re enter social life. So what do I do now? My friends have been very supportive of me through all of this, and visited in the hospital. My friends all went out for happy hour on Friday. There is a great place that has free food (none of which is anything I can eat) but you are sort of expected to drink while you are hanging out at the bar. So I ended up not going, didnt want to be tempted by food I couldnt eat, and I couldnt order a drink because no alcohol. I thought about going and ordering food I could eat but decided against it. I guess this has caused me to wonder socially what I can do going forward. Most of the times hanging out with my friends includes something like this, including bad food and alcohol. Do I need to find new friends? I am not sure I even know how to do that at this stage of my life. Has anyone gone through this and have any suggestions on how to deal with this?

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Plenty of juice available at most bars. I eat peanuts all the time (good source of protein). You'll learn that just about ANYTHING you eat or drink, you are going to eat and drink it a lot slower than you used to. I go out to eat all the time and never have trouble fining something I can eat (even if it's just a salad). You find that even though what you order seems very small, the time it takes to eat it will probably take longer than someone eating a hearty meal. I used to always order a to go box as soon as the food came to the table and take out all but what I thought I would eat. I found that I seldom wanted it once I got it home. So, now, I just eat what I want (stop as soon as I get any hint that I am full) and leave the rest. No more cleaning the plates. It does suck to order a drink and sip it for a long time and still leave most of it in the glass but that's our new life now. Get out there and experiment. Don't call attention to it and if someone questions why you're not eating or drinking--just say you're fine and full and change the subject. What NOT to do--Don't whine about not being able to eat or drink something. most people hate to hear that sort of thing while they are eating or drinking. Enjoy your new LIFE. I've lost 180 pounds and loving it!

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You could order a mineral water and discreetly put a few drops of Mio or one of the other flavoring things into it so it looks like a mixed drink. Just be sure to tip the bartender well.   ^_^ You could also order juice or a decaf coffee.  People are there to have fun with friends, not to wonder or worry what others are drinking. 

 

Never eat the free nuts at a bar. Just think how many unwashed/poorly washed hands have touched them!  Acck!

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Thanks for the responses. Im not sure it is exactly what I was looking for. I guess the problem is that so much of my "old self" involved gluttonous eating and drinking. Now its a question of what can I do with myself now for fun? I cant do so much active stuff yet, because my size still limits a lot of what I can do. So I sort of feel like Im stuck. I cant do the things I want to do yet, and shouldnt do the things I used to want to do... I feel like im going to be bored.

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find someone to "workout" with. boring as it is, 15 mins on the tread mill 3 times a week will do wonders for you. work up to 30 mins. Find a friend or co worker that wants to improve themselves and do it with them.

after you have set your healthy eating habits, then you can go out for happy hour and not be tempted.

at an event I had a cookie Saturday. in the past I would have eaten a half dozen.

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Regarding bars, get some black cherry MIO and keep it in your pocket. Order water in a wine glass and put the MIO in it. Looks just like wine, and no one is the wiser. Also the Dasani pineapple cocoanut looks like white wine, if you prefer that flavor.

Fred is exactly right. A gym membership gives you a social circle among folks that are pursuing a healthy lifestyle. Personally, I like working out. I actually like the feeling of having sore muscles. I also like having lost 25 lbs of fat and gained 15 lbs of muscle since mid September. Getting a trainer a couple of days a week helps with meeting people in the gym, and (for me anyway) works me harder than I work out alone.

It's nice to have a spotter when using free weights.

The scenery in a gym can be nice too.

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A virgin bloody Mary. Eww I can taste it right now with some stuffed blue cheese olives or celery. Hope you like tomatoes. Oh not the healthiest but, broasted chicken or pressure cooked just debread it. Remember we should keep our foods separate from our drinks

Edited by BigB5SRT8

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Thanks for the responses. Im not sure it is exactly what I was looking for. I guess the problem is that so much of my "old self" involved gluttonous eating and drinking. Now its a question of what can I do with myself now for fun? I cant do so much active stuff yet, because my size still limits a lot of what I can do. So I sort of feel like Im stuck. I cant do the things I want to do yet, and shouldnt do the things I used to want to do... I feel like im going to be bored.

In July, I had a knee episode and so had to limit my weight bearing workout. So I got in the pool and did water aerobics to help me keep moving, but taking the weight off my knee. I'm not suggesting that for winter - especially in Maryland. But finding a gym and doing cardio on an exercise bike could be a good way to start. Do that for a couple if months and when the weight begins to come off, integrate some strength training. It can be a very motivating environment - especially when you begin to see changes in yourself. Also a trainer will be able to give you some other metrics besides just weight to show your progress.

Yes, eating - especially eating out is a form of entertainment. Everything is a "food event" it seems. You gotta figure out ways to enjoy events without over indulging. Your pouch should help a lot, but strategizing in advance helps.

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My life use to be identical. Bars and eating out, the wife and I are foodies. It has been a little over 3 months since I had my gb and I am down 85 lbs. For the first couple of months I stayed inside feeling sorry for myself because I couldnt eat what everyone else was, now I snack on everyone elses plates. I eat a bite of this or that and then I am full. Think of it as sampling the good stuff with out having a tab to pay for it. Just stop when you get that full feeling. It gets easier. I thought I was in my prime and now because I couldnt take care of ever growing body wieght I realized I was only in my prime for a damn heart attach. 

I still have the same friends and go to the same places, I have just started to go to new places, more active places. I still ride the harley but now I also ride the petal bike through the park on the nice days.

 

You will come out of the slump, it just takes a little time. Post on here and talk to people, this will help you get through it. Go to the monthly meetings, there you will meet others that are going through and feeling the same way.

It will come around.

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Thanks for the encouragement telco daddy. I had my 3 month follow up approximately two weeks early. I'm down 45 since surgery and about 75 from my peak. I wish it had been more since I started as such a heavyweight. The weight seems to have dropped a lot out of my neck and arms. I am getting bat wings a lot earlier than I thought. I have been unable to exercise as a result of some complications that have left me very anemic and thus short of breath just with some simple walking. My hermatocrit (red blood count) has risen from a low of 19 to about 30 but I'm still way below the normal of 45. I am going to start lifting though as I should be able to do non cardio activity. I think the cardio will have to wait

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I couldn't even be anywhere near a bar until about 9 months.  I was not much of a drinker before surgery so the transition is not bad. There has to be near perfect conditions for me to consume alcohol. It has to be an occasional social outing that is special. I drink ONE drink, and I need at least 3 hours to transpire before I drive anywhere.  The issue is there isnt many good choices. Either is it carbonated or two sweet. Vodka Cranberry with Pineapple juice has worked well for me. Peach Ciroc and sugar-free lemonade is good as well.

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BuddyMiles, your shortness of breath is a concern for lifting and any type of exercise, It's a common sign of heart trouble. Please get clearance from your cardiologist and your surgeon  for exactly the types of exercise you may do at this stage.  Take good care of yourself---you only get 1 heart (unless you're Dick Cheney).   ;)

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Thanks for the thought. I've had cardiac clearance. Heart is not the issue. The issue is severe anemia. Surgeon has been trying unsuccessfully to deal with it. I have been referred to a hematologist which I see tomorrow.

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