30 replies to this topic

[lessoflisa]

I have heard the saying that good marriages get better with WLS and bad ones get worse.

[DreamComeTrue]

Lisa I am afraid that this is correct!

[breannealyse]

cinwa, on 20 January 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

I long ago realised that as puffy people, we often settle for less than we deserve.

so true, this just made me bite my lip and tear up a little. im married and i love my husband but i just dont know.

[Gypsy Angel]

I like to think hubs and I can survive my weight loss.   We've survived his alcoholism (he's been sober 4 years now), and being homeless for 9 month.  

We don't have a perfect marriage (really, does anyone?) but we are strong.  And we are good for each other.


I'm sorry you're going through your situation.  I wish I had words of wisdom to bestow on you.    Good luck in your endeavors.

[2Bme]

I was seriously concerned about the divorce rates following weight lose surgery. I was getting very close to asking for a divorce regardless. I decided that since I was so close to demanding a divorce than WLS couldn't do any harm, and might help. (It all depends on what the problem is.) Now, i am only 6 weeks out. but so far the weight lose has made a large improvement in my marriage and might have saved it.

I need to be touched, simply hugs and kisses, snuggling on the couch, etc... The larger I got the more my hubby backed away to the point there was rarely any physical contact. he did not even snuggle while we were sleeping. it was slowly killing me. It turns out he would not tell me that my size made contact uncomfortable for him. He did not want to hurt my feelings. While I thought he just did not love me, since that is what his actions said. Anyway.... since surgery we have gotten closer. he has been considerate most of the time and truly seems to want to help. We were talking the other day and I told him how close I was to asking for a divorce and how things are better now. he had no idea that he was hurting me so bad by withholding touch. So, maybe i will be lucky and the WLS might actually save my marriage.

[DreamComeTrue]

Well....getting ready to look for an attorney.  I am filing for divorce. :/

[Heatherr]

This will be very hard, but I wish you all the best. Stay strong, hun. xoxo

[DreamComeTrue]

Thanks Heather!!

[jules74]

Something I have learned in life is sometimes, when we think that we are going through the worst thing ever or when we wonder WHY something is not working for us or why we didn't have something go our way, once you get through it you look back and say "So thats why that bad thing happened to me"! We realize that what we thought was the worst thing ever, end up being the best thing that could have happened to us, in retrospect.

Divorces stink, for sure. But hopefully, one day in the future you will look back and say "This ended up being the right thing to do for myself". The clarity will come.
I wish you the best!

[Namaste123]

Divorce is awful even if your marriage was horrible. It's best three years since filing and my life is so much better than when I was with him. The grieving process and transition was worse than I imagined, but like child  birth, the pain is worth the outcome.
Take care of yourself.

[Cindy_In_NY]

Christy~

Take care of you, and rest will follow.  I know that you have been struggling with this for a long while.  We're all right here if you need us.  (((hugs)))