Claire-in-Texas

The Honeymoon Period

520 posts in this topic

Dee, I suspect some of it is different due to the European differences but I also think it's different because you're a sleever vs a bypasser. The sleeve does not bypass any intestine, and is typically made of the less stretchy part of the stomach anyway. You don't get pushed protein shakes as you're not at high risk for malabsorption, which is also why you don't have the same type of honeymoon phase. Your body isn't working to regrow villa to start re-absorbing the calories (which signals the end of said honeymoon phase in terms of calories absorbed - though not nutrients)

If that type of plan works well for you- I'd say stick with it. I know you're doing fabulous and I'm really happy for you there.. (for anyone that does, really)

But I've seen a ton of people, usually RNY and especially lately, talk about how they eat anything, or eat 'in moderation' which is usually used as a euphemism for adding starchy carbs, coffee- (usually with a creamer of some sort)-soda- alcohol..... and then complain about weeks on end of stalling. I think these posts are what precipitated Claire's orig. post in this thread- though I can't and won't speak for her.

Once a bypasser's honeymoon phase ends- it's gone. But no one really wants to hear any of this- I'm often vilified for even daring to say it.

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Mistymee, I think you provide a very valuable perspective based on your own experiences, and I enjoy reading what you have to say.

I've read over and over again people talking about losing slowly or stalling and then in different threads they talk about what they're eating/drinking and what they're not. For the average morbidly obese person there is no such thing as "moderation" when it comes to food. I'll put myself right at the top of that list. If we were able to exert that kind of self control, we'd more than likely not have needed to have surgical intervention to basically save our lives.

Honestly, I can't say with 100% certainty that I will not fall into some of the same traps and old bad habits that some have. We're all human.

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But sipping tea in the face of cookies everywhere -- that is Kel's Super Power, clearly. :)

Work hates me. I came in today and there's a new tray of cookies and four boxes of girl scout cookies. *CRIES*.

This tea thing? Old. And having to run out in the rain/ice to the porta potty? REALLLLLLLLLLY OLD. And now I'm sitting all alone, in the work trailer with the cookies.

Mz. Scarlet, in the kitchen with a knife.

Lol..

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Work hates me. I came in today and there's a new tray of cookies and four boxes of girl scout cookies. *CRIES*.

This tea thing? Old. And having to run out in the rain/ice to the porta potty? REALLLLLLLLLLY OLD. And now I'm sitting all alone, in the work trailer with the cookies.

Mz. Scarlet, in the kitchen with a knife.

Lol..

LOL! Put the knife down...

I feel your pain somewhat on the porta-potty thing, as it seems my company has some bizarre misguided notion of saving money by not heating the women's restrooms. BRRRRR in there. Course there's not actual rain and/or ice, so...

Also, there is food and chocolate and fruit all over the place here these days cos of the holidays. I arrived yesterday to find a box of chocolates from a colleague on my desk...and then today some more chocolates. Sheesh. I take them to the kitchen/coffee room straight away! Or make everyone else eat them.

Oy. We'll get through this somehow... :)

ETA: NO KIDDING, I was off having a coffee and just got two more chocolate gifts within that half-hour window -- a whole glass vase full of handmade Italian truffles and a bag of assorted specialty chocolates from a local place. Seriously?? I have put them in the public space so that hopefully everyone else chows down. Sheesh.

Edited by swizzly

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For the average morbidly obese person there is no such thing as "moderation" when it comes to food. I'll put myself right at the top of that list. If we were able to exert that kind of self control, we'd more than likely not have needed to have surgical intervention to basically save our lives.

I really relate to this sentiment. For certain foods, I just can't be moderate about it. One is too many but a thousand is not enough. I respect that everyone is different, and people got heavy for different reasons.

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Stay strong, ladies. I'm so glad I don't have to be around all the work Holiday festivities that ALWAYS revolve around food. I would surely be a raging witch by now. This has been a tough week for me in spite of the no work parties. I have finals this week. Ugh. One more to go, but they have killed my routine and I've been resorting to quick meals for the family, so I could hide in the bedroom and study. The no cooking thing is making my diet tough to adhere to. One more day until I can shop and get back to cooking properly.....

On a good note.....no more classes means I get to gt back into my strong exercise routine. I'm looking forward to that as I need to fill out some of this skin that is where my legs used to be. :lol:

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I usually post messages that reflect a true "high" in my journey, whether it be a proud/WOW moment, or other aspects.

Not this time.

I've been reading a lot on the forum, and I'm really concerned. And this isn't about ME - it's about YOU.

I'm posting in Socialize in the hope that people at different phases in the journey will take this to heart and embrace it - I offer it with love and respect in my heart, and experience.

I have been reading a lot about eating "in moderation," outside the box of sensibility, from people in their honeymoon period. I read a lot about people feeling they are sacrificing the reward of eating a delicious and sugary something. A lot of angst, a lot of anger, a lot of stress. Of course, i read a lot about how wonderful people feel achieving their earned successes. I am totally thrilled by that.

If I may, I would like to address those of you who are in their first year post op, and the earlier the better.

This is what I have learned and realized now that I am in maintenance, and at my lowest weight.

I have learned that long-term success is due to a radical change of eating/lifestyle habits. Operative word: RADICAL. This is not news to you, but many, I fear, are pushing the envelope. One can't re-invent the wheel. Follow the guidelines and it works. Sounds simple - it IS simple - and that's the only way this journey works.

Honeymooners, strictly (and I mean STRICTLY) follow the eating guidelines. Moderation with other food is not a good path during this period - it's an excuse to prolong the wrong habits. If you follow the guidelines mentioned, then moderation becomes something completely different when you are years post op. Trust me, I'm there. I was a total carboholic, a food addict, an emotional eater, a lover of delicious large portions. No more. I have a base pattern of eating that works for me that has evolved during and since the honeymoon period - a DIFFERENT way of eating. I love pizza and birthday cake. One bite is enough. And I still LOVE to eat, and enjoy every morsel. But food is no longer the center of my universe.

You will not fall off the wagon if you strap yourself in.

It doesn't matter if you dump or not, which surgery you had, how fast or slow the weight is coming off. That is a small part of this huge journey. The MAIN issue here is a path to success, and that path is the GIFT of the tool AND the guidelines.

Honeymooners, I want for you what I have. I received very good advice when I was where you are, and I am making this humble attempt to pay it forward.

The best to you...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT....... Im only 6 weeks out... My DOCTORS FAMOUS WORDS..... Use these next 6 months when your NOT HUNGRY... to CHANGE ALL YOUR BAD HABITS into NEW and GOOD ONES! Sounds like your a pretty smart cookie just like HE!

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I know that everyone is differnet but I just wanted to say for the first 7ish months - I had my three meals days and that is all!!!!! - I followed my Doc's plan to a "T" . I only ate protein and then veggies if I had room - NEVER touch any kind of snacks, junk food, white bread, pasta, rice or fast food - not even a bite. I also exercised 5 times a week as soon as I got the ok from the Doc.

My thinking is that it took so much (mentally) for me to get approved and I made it thru surgery with no complications - plus I felt like a won the lottery - what a gift to be able to have this surgery -I was going to do everything my doc told me to do! I waited so long for this opportunity to change my life once and for all! So many years of losing and regaining should canmake a person feel really bad about themselves.

The first couple of weeks after surgery I was weighing my self everyday and yes there were days that I would not lose anything or even show a slight gain but after driving myself crazy for 3 week is when I decided to weigh in only once a week. So say after three weeks I NEVER had a stall only losses everytime I weighed in on Sat!

I am now weigh 109! The past couple of months per my Doc - I added snacks - healthy snacks - to get more calories as I do not want to lose anymore weight and I cut down on the exercising. And yes I even slipped and ate a devil dog - and I felt so bad afterwards it was so not worth it - not bad sick but bad emotionally! - But even today I am very strict - but I dont consider it strict - I consider a new way of life - I get more joy out of the new me then eating out of my new comfort zone - there are so many others things in life that satisfy me and it is not food.

This is a new way of life! We should be only eating to live and nothing else esp not to satisfy anything. I know esier said then done but this is what I tell my self every day and so far it has worked!

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Stay strong, ladies. I'm so glad I don't have to be around all the work Holiday festivities that ALWAYS revolve around food. I would surely be a raging witch by now. This has been a tough week for me in spite of the no work parties. I have finals this week. Ugh. One more to go, but they have killed my routine and I've been resorting to quick meals for the family, so I could hide in the bedroom and study. The no cooking thing is making my diet tough to adhere to. One more day until I can shop and get back to cooking properly.....

On a good note.....no more classes means I get to gt back into my strong exercise routine. I'm looking forward to that as I need to fill out some of this skin that is where my legs used to be. :lol:

Ugh, Heather, I'm about ready to hit someone if they bring another plate of food.. the worst part is- I am *literally* sitting three feet from the table of goodies- all.day.long and I'm sitting alone in said trailer about 80% of my day most days this week so far. They did come back in for lunch. Oh, and yeah, they sent me down to the little store several miles down the road to pick up the pizza's they ordered for said lunch. Thankfully, they scarfed all of the pizza in record time so I didn't end up needing to worry about them but the cookies and other goodies are requiring some massive self talk. I wanted to salt those suckers. lol.. I pictured them salted, though. Next week will be worse, holiday parties.. these guys all *really* like the treats :/

This is a new way of life! We should be only eating to live and nothing else esp not to satisfy anything. I know esier said then done but this is what I tell my self every day and so far it has worked!

It isn't easy but I do wish I'd learned that lesson sooner rather than later.. I'd not have paid such a big price. Keep it up!!
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LOL! Put the knife down...

:) lol... the only knives there are plastic.. I guess it'd mean I couldn't board a plane but I doubt I could do much harm, lol..

I feel your pain somewhat on the porta-potty thing, as it seems my company has some bizarre misguided notion of saving money by not heating the women's restrooms. BRRRRR in there. Course there's not actual rain and/or ice, so...

No lie, the inside was covered in frost the other day. Today, it was surrounded with mud, lol.. shades of things to come, I suppose. :)

Also, there is food and chocolate and fruit all over the place here these days cos of the holidays. I arrived yesterday to find a box of chocolates from a colleague on my desk...and then today some more chocolates. Sheesh. I take them to the kitchen/coffee room straight away! Or make everyone else eat them.

Oy. We'll get through this somehow... :)

Its hard but I keep remembering how I felt when I saw the scale climbing... it's the fear of 'going back' again. I don't know if I have it in me to work it off another time so I have to do what I can to keep it off, you know? Plus I no longer own any bigger pants! LOL

ETA: NO KIDDING, I was off having a coffee and just got two more chocolate gifts within that half-hour window -- a whole glass vase full of handmade Italian truffles and a bag of assorted specialty chocolates from a local place. Seriously?? I have put them in the public space so that hopefully everyone else chows down. Sheesh.

Italian truffles? Oh man, I thought I had it bad! Good luck, girlie... be strong!

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FWIW, the way I had to 'put myself in remission' from the anorexic-bulimic behaviours of my younger years was to learn to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted -- but I had to be hungry and I had to stop when I was full.

I like that. You set ground rules for yourself :). Honestly, unless I've worked it into my food plan for the day, I can't stray from my diet or eat some goodies without tremendous guilt and I endlessly beat myself up for it for days afterward - so I rarely do it. Like the other day, I made chocolate chip banana bread for my sister, cause we had a few bananas that were going bad and I'm not crazy about them so I just whipped up the bread and it came out really good. My sister has been eating most of it but I went to the fridge last night to get a drink and it was staring at me, calling my name. I ended up eating prolly 1/3 of a slice but I felt like crap afterward. Literally and figuretavely haha. The guilt killed me and I got a bit of a stomachache, but it's over with... I'm moving on from it.

The only time I don't count calories or allow myself to be bad is on holidays... my only exception. I refuse to allow myself to worry about calories when I'm suppose to be enjoying myself. I never go crazy, but it's like a day off from work haha. I keep track of everything and stick to my diet 24/7, minus Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years and my birthday. I don't really care about Halloween. But even so, I still have some guilt and if I'm munching on snacky type things I do wonder how many calories I'm taking it but I block it out. I don't know if I'll ever get to a place where me and food are friends again - eh, maybe not friends, I'd settle for aquiantances lol.

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I know that everyone is differnet but I just wanted to say for the first 7ish months - I had my three meals days and that is all!!!!! - I followed my Doc's plan to a "T" . I only ate protein and then veggies if I had room - NEVER touch any kind of snacks, junk food, white bread, pasta, rice or fast food - not even a bite. I also exercised 5 times a week as soon as I got the ok from the Doc.

My thinking is that it took so much (mentally) for me to get approved and I made it thru surgery with no complications - plus I felt like a won the lottery - what a gift to be able to have this surgery -I was going to do everything my doc told me to do! I waited so long for this opportunity to change my life once and for all! So many years of losing and regaining should canmake a person feel really bad about themselves.

The first couple of weeks after surgery I was weighing my self everyday and yes there were days that I would not lose anything or even show a slight gain but after driving myself crazy for 3 week is when I decided to weigh in only once a week. So say after three weeks I NEVER had a stall only losses everytime I weighed in on Sat!

I am now weigh 109! The past couple of months per my Doc - I added snacks - healthy snacks - to get more calories as I do not want to lose anymore weight and I cut down on the exercising. And yes I even slipped and ate a devil dog - and I felt so bad afterwards it was so not worth it - not bad sick but bad emotionally! - But even today I am very strict - but I dont consider it strict - I consider a new way of life - I get more joy out of the new me then eating out of my new comfort zone - there are so many others things in life that satisfy me and it is not food.

This is a new way of life! We should be only eating to live and nothing else esp not to satisfy anything. I know esier said then done but this is what I tell my self every day and so far it has worked!

Thank you for posting this! I keep saying this surgery is the start of the brand new me and life. I don't want to do anything that can jeopardize this opportunity. I have already started working these changes... no more Lunchables, pasta, breads, potatoes, sodas, juices, caffeinated and/or sweetened teas. It hasn't been easy for me but it must be done.

Edited by Charmedd Hour
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...

The only time I don't count calories or allow myself to be bad is on holidays... my only exception. I refuse to allow myself to worry about calories when I'm suppose to be enjoying myself. I never go crazy, but it's like a day off from work haha. I keep track of everything and stick to my diet 24/7, minus Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Years and my birthday. I don't really care about Halloween. But even so, I still have some guilt and if I'm munching on snacky type things I do wonder how many calories I'm taking it but I block it out. I don't know if I'll ever get to a place where me and food are friends again - eh, maybe not friends, I'd settle for aquiantances lol.

Jess - we can make life easier for ourselves around the holiday times by adjusting our calorie intake for a few days beforehand.

I cut back on my usual 1,800 cals/day maintenance by 100-200 cals a day for 5-7 days beforehand. If it's an unplanned event, just cut back 100-200 cals a day afterwards for a few days afterwards.

I know several long term WLS people (some are over 10 years out) who do that on a continual basis. They restrict their calories M-F which allows them leeway at the weekends.

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I know several long term WLS people (some are over 10 years out) who do that on a continual basis. They restrict their calories M-F which allows them leeway at the weekends.

Hey cool, that's kind of what my Nut's always on about. I want to get to goal before I start doing that every weekend, but keeping track of calories at a more meta level is exactly what I did when I 'ate what I wanted when I wanted to' (+ the other 'rules' I listed above, including stopping when actually full, not pretend/mental full after two lettuce leaves lol). So even a week or month at a time that was too much eating, I would cut back a bit here and there over the next weeks or months so it would balance out. I *REALLY* hope I can do that *and* be thin.

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Italian truffles? Oh man, I thought I had it bad! Good luck, girlie... be strong!

I know, right? I ate ONE (yum) and left the rest in the public space, they better be gone when I get back!! :D

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Put up a sign with the truffles: $.50 per truffle or if you eat 2, I'll pay you $1.00 :lol:

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Put up a sign with the truffles: $.50 per truffle or if you eat 2, I'll pay you $1.00 :lol:

LOL !

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Im glad Im not a sweets person...... I was around so many cookies and goodies over this past week, and wasnt tempted once..... but I know as a general what you guys/girls refer to, because I was definately a pizza junkie... because it was quick, not GOOD.. I have learned many other "QUICK" healthy foods with a little research..... Everyone is amazing for coming back to TT time and time again...... if we didnt want the advice or knowledge, we wouldnt come here to check in :-)

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I pinned this thread so it will show up at the top of this forum section and easily found... it is too good and too important a read not to!

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I pictured them salted, though.

LOL, I totally do this one too! Although I've tried to not do it as much now that I'm a so-called grownup -- or at least not in public. I used to literally blizzard-salt everything after I took my X (whatever I'd "earned" that day *eye roll*) number of bites. Dump salt and sometimes water, too, all over the food -- RENDER IT INEDIBLE, QUICK!!! I'm sure the wait staff found it charming...

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LOL, I totally do this one too! Although I've tried to not do it as much now that I'm a so-called grownup -- or at least not in public. I used to literally blizzard-salt everything after I took my X (whatever I'd "earned" that day *eye roll*) number of bites. Dump salt and sometimes water, too, all over the food -- RENDER IT INEDIBLE, QUICK!!! I'm sure the wait staff found it charming...

Grown up? When does that happen? lol... :)

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Thank you for taking the time to help us honeymooners out! Many people would have just sat back and let us fail! Your post is what I needed to hear.

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I pinned this thread so it will show up at the top of this forum section and easily found... it is too good and too important a read not to!

Thank you, Kel...

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I am very touched by all the comments over the past month. It is very gratifying that I was able to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish by my initial post.

This thread has gone in a lot of interesting directions, and each of them very valid, very real, very much part of this journey.

I want to make clear now, though, that I did not mean to infer that my way of handling the honeymoon period and thereafter is the ONLY way. Of course it isn't. I spoke in generalities, the point being that the honeymoon period is the one and ONLY period of time time you will have to get a grip on the habits that made us turn to surgery as the "cure." It is only a cure if we MAKE it a cure. The best and ONLY guidelines are those that are provided to each patient, and those guidelines vary However, they come from the experience of that surgeon/nutritionist, and they obviously work. Follow them. Period.

And I speak, too, from the position of looking back at my last five years, and realizing that the ONLY reason I feel on top of my game (eating habits) is BECAUSE I was a willing follower during my honeymoon period. I have been enriched for life by that single moment when I made the decision to be a willing follower.

Corrine posted a very valuable post, I think, when she said how she adjusts her eating to allow for eating events and even those that arise that are unexpected. Yes, I do the same thing. Here again, it is all about control in an area in which I had no control. Thank you, honeymoon period.

One more thing - Honeymooners, please trust me here.....it matters NOT AT ALL how many stalls you have, the speed rate of weight loss and how many times a day you weigh yourself. It doesn't matter. What matters is the change of lifestyle that evolves DURING that losing weight period. It will not only make you thin, it will set you FREEEE!!!!

The best to you!

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Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. Also I have to say I really appreciate the way in which your message was delivered. It makes all the difference.

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