Claire-in-Texas

The Honeymoon Period

520 posts in this topic

Amen!! Love this post, Claire!

chris777 likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, Kel! :)

There are some things in life over which we have no control. During the honeymoon period is a wonderful time to gain control over food. Once it is over, it's over, and I'm here to tell you that if it weren't for my own honeymoon, and how I spent it, I would not feel in control of my food intake.

Understand, I am not perfect. I don't want to assert that at all. But even in my eating imperfections, going back to that baseline pattern of eating, established on the honeymoon period, is what has made this journey what it is for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for posting the for us honeymooners Claire!

Bamamike and Sonya139 like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a honeymooner w/in a year from my surgery date I really appreciate your insight, and experience! Thanks! :D

MarcieR likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much for that, Claire! My WLS is coming up soon and I was thinking to myself this very thing: that I need to use this honeymoon period to the fullest and keep things in perspective when the cravings kick in. I'm a Class AAA Rationalizer, so I can often reason my way into anything. I've done that on diets in the past and know that I CANNOT do that after the surgery. I'm starting a new life, or at least a new relationship with food. Even though the breakup may be ugly, I still think we'll learn to get along. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you!! I'm a honeymooner and I needed to hear this. I haven't had a "fall off the wagon" moment but I allowed certain comfort items to slip back into my daily routine. I did not have this major surgery to change my body to not change my mind too. I cannot waste this precious time. What you posted is what I've been telling myself all week. I have kicked out the bad and I am focusing on the plan. I get annoyed when I see members fuss at Mistymee for giving advice and for being a voice of experience. Especially when it is about someone wanting to eat fast food or junk. The goal isn't to cheat the system! Its to work your tool to have a successful and healthy life. Again, thank you for your words of wisdom!! They are truly appreciated. :D

Edited by ErinMarie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you!! I'm a honeymooner and I needed to hear this. I haven't had a "fall off the wagon" moment but I allowed certain comfort items to slip back into my daily routine. I did not have this major surgery to change my body to not change my mind too. I cannot waste this precious time. What you posted is what I've been telling myself all week. I have kicked out the bad and I am focusing on the plan. I get annoyed when I see members fuss at Mistymee for giving advice and for being a voice of experience. Especially when it is about someone wanting to eat fast food or junk. The goal isn't to cheat the system! Its to work your tool to have a successful and healthy life. Again, thank you for your words of wisdom!! They are truly appreciated. :D

Thank you, sweetie.. it really means the world to me that others don't fall into the very traps that I did.. I rationalized SO much. I've said it many times, but if I could have a mulligan, using my active weight loss phase (aka Honeymoon Period) better would be it, for sure!

ForeverBruce'sGirl and Sunria like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am hopeful that I can alter paths. I am so enriched by the path I have taken, by the lessons learned, and it goes further than food intake. Many of my priorities have changed, I know I am easier to live with, I take things far less seriously. Many changes have evolved, and all about quality of life.

So, honeymooners, this isn't just about the result of good food choices, it is also about living life at the fullest as a direct result of good food choices.

A funny story. Glen (my husband) and I went on a little vacation getaway, and knowing we were going to do this, i ate what I would call a very restricted regimen of food for the week prior to it. I REALLY was good. And we went away to a location that served wonderful food, known for its food. And when it came right down to it, I had a bite of this, a taste of that, and -- I can't believe it myself -- I just didn't want anymore than that. That comes as a result of ingrained patterns that I have learned during the honeymoon period that I very seldom deviate from. Within those patterns I have truly delicious snacks/meals that I enjoy.

I wish you all the best - just remember, it's just a tool, and what you do with the tool is up to you. And yes, it really is that simple.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I fully agree with you as well. I have my surgery in 25 days and believe that this is a lifestyle change. I am ready to put my tool to work. I have had a loooong relationship with food and am ready to end it by making healthier choices. I will admit it boggles my mind with all the people who say the eat this or that... why continue to sabotage yourself. We have been given a gift, we need to take care of it and it, in turn, it will take care of us. I appluade you for posting this! :D

MarcieR, Jrmoore and jade.61410 like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are so right Clare. I am one of those that has probably "cheated" a little more in the honeymoon phase than I should have. Then my weight loss slowed and I got strict again. Mostly I just made sure I got all my protein and water. Once I did that, I didn't really want all the junk. I would love to hear what your eating patterns are now. Most of mine are pretty good, but I'm always happy to learn more from the more experienced.

I think I understand more what the long timers here have gone through with us newbies pushing the boundaries. I gave my cell number to a woman at support group. She's texted several times asking for advice, but doesn't really want to hear it. She will tell me what she had to eat at only 2 months out and I can't believe it. No way I could have eaten some of these things that early even if I considered it. I tried to gently make other suggestions, but she just didnt' want to hear it. Then she lamented that she wasn't losing. We must all drive you all crazy!

Anyway, thanks for the reminder. Especially heading into my first Christmas post surgery, its really good to be reminded.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Claire, that was very well written and just the kind of advice that I need. I know that I will struggle with what you talked about. I've had my bad eating habits my entire life and it is going to be a battle for me to change them. Your positive reinforcement is what I need to make sure I stay on the right path. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
. We must all drive you all crazy!

I won't lie, I get frustrated when people call me harsh or mean when I've posted with such good intentions and not only does it get frustrating at times but kind of hurts. But then I try to remember 1) text doesn't always give intentions away very well and 2)I was once them, and maybe in a year or two, the understanding will happen and those that think I'm mean will think "ah, I get it".. anyway- that's what happened with me.. I finally got what those like Duckie (who rarely if ever posts anymore, sadly!) was trying to tell me. She didn't like it that we all thought she was being mean, and I can fully now say "ah, I get it".

I'm so glad Claire posted- she's one of several whom I had in mind when I posted the other day about watching those who were most successful..

JimmyG and ForeverBruce'sGirl like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are so right Clare. I am one of those that has probably "cheated" a little more in the honeymoon phase than I should have. Then my weight loss slowed and I got strict again. Mostly I just made sure I got all my protein and water. Once I did that, I didn't really want all the junk. I would love to hear what your eating patterns are now. Most of mine are pretty good, but I'm always happy to learn more from the more experienced.

I think I understand more what the long timers here have gone through with us newbies pushing the boundaries. I gave my cell number to a woman at support group. She's texted several times asking for advice, but doesn't really want to hear it. She will tell me what she had to eat at only 2 months out and I can't believe it. No way I could have eaten some of these things that early even if I considered it. I tried to gently make other suggestions, but she just didnt' want to hear it. Then she lamented that she wasn't losing. We must all drive you all crazy!

Anyway, thanks for the reminder. Especially heading into my first Christmas post surgery, its really good to be reminded.

Carolanne,

I count calories. I have determined that 1200 calories is what I need to eat to maintain.

I don't eat many meals. I rely almost entirely on frequent nutritious (most of the time) snacks. As I write this I am eating an apple with a small teaspoon of fat free peanut butter that I dip the apple into.

I eat a lot of salads (with diet dressing that I like) with all kinds of veggies in them, and several fruits a day.

I like 100 calorie snacks packaged snacks. There are so many of them now. I love my 100 calorie popcorn snack almost daily. And I have recently discovered that there are individual packaging (100 calories) of cottage cheese and fuit. It's wonderful.

When I eat oatmeal, for example, it's half the portion that is on the package.

I eat every 1 to 2 hours. I don't eat anything after 7:00 pm.

I drink water mixed with Mio (thank you, CinWa!) which is 0 calories - maybe half to a whole gallon a day.

In the beginning I wrote every single thing down, with the number of calories after it. Now I just know it in my head. A dear friend of mine who had wls several months after I did, still documents her food. Nothing wrong with that. it's all about how one can maintain control.

When I go on trips or away for the day, I take my snacks with me.

I always have a snack before going out to dinner or a party so I am not hungry.

I don't care much about meat or chicken, etc., but very thinly sliced is good.

I get full easily by some foods - like sweet potatoes, for example. I use that to my advantage - when i am having an especially hungry day (and yes, I do have them), I always have the packaged sweet potato fries handy. Three or four of them, and I'm good to go for a very long time.

If I go over my calories one day, I am under the next - and interestingly (to me), I'm not that hungry the next day so less calories works fine.

As I have said, this is my pattern that has evolved over more than 4 years. It works for me, and I'm so very grateful.

kayak19, Julie_T, chris777 and 15 others like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Claire, that was very well written and just the kind of advice that I need. I know that I will struggle with what you talked about. I've had my bad eating habits my entire life and it is going to be a battle for me to change them. Your positive reinforcement is what I need to make sure I stay on the right path. Thank you.

Techie, look at my stats on the left. See my age? I was a fat kid, a fat teenager and a fat adult. If I can change my eating habits, anyone can. Believe in yourself. Will yourself.

And thank you for your kind words. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you 100%. I am extremely strict myself! I follow many rules and at almost 2 years out my rules have become a way of life (second nature). I eat sf oatmeal every single morning, by 10 I eat a banana with peanut butter and around 1 I eat 3oz protein and veg and 6 again protein/veg. I do snack on fruit and nuts. I do not touch pasta, rice, flour, sugar, potatoes or processed foods. Many people say I am too strict but look at my stats not to mention I maintain my weight (I will only let my weight increase by 2 lbs then I cut back). I still measure and weigh my food.

I now realize that this is the way I must eat for my entire life. My life at 124 lbs is SOOOOOO much better than at 251 lbs, its all worth it!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Claire, I could just cry reading this post--I need to be reminded of this every single day, for the rest of my life. Taking the time to write all this & share it with us is a tremendous gift. We are SO LUCKY to have you, Corrine & Kelly to guide us. I hope to god that when I'm 5 years out, I am still as dedicated, committed and compliant as I have been over the past 17 months.

With much love & gratitude,

Julie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with your words so much especially since my honeymoon time seems to be passed by. I have always looked at you for your words/advice knowing that your age has given you more wisdom and knowing that if you can change, I can make the change too. It is absolutely amazing to be where I am and I want to enjoy it forever and keep some reminders of what I was and know I do not want to go back there.

Thanks for such a great positive "So true" words of wisdom and encouragement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words.

We have choices, and our choices become who we are. We can't control a lot of things in life but we can control our choices.

Remove temptation from your homes, plan the night before what you will eat the next day. Carry with you appropriate snacks. Leave little to chance.

It is all so worth it, and it does, indeed, become second nature (as Jodi said above).

My heart is with each of you.

GinaP, tazamin, Trish1967 and 1 other like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had an "eye-opening" event last night which brought me to the ER. In a round-about sort of way it has something to do with Kelly's concern about additional calories in my coffee. I won't go into the details here but will post a separate thread.

I just want to say thank you to Claire and Corrine and Kelly for sticking with it and "it" I mean US. Your words of wisdom and knowledge have helped me tremendously along my journey. Although I don't always like to hear what you ladies have to say, I know in my heart of hearts that I NEED to hear it. Sometimes I feel like a nine year old being told NOT to ask questions, just do it! Yet I know I wouldn't have gotten to almost age 60 without someone telling me "do it" or "don't do it" in other aspects of my life.

Keep on keeping on!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had an "eye-opening" event last night which brought me to the ER. In a round-about sort of way it has something to do with Kelly's concern about additional calories in my coffee. I won't go into the details here but will post a separate thread.

I just want to say thank you to Claire and Corrine and Kelly for sticking with it and "it" I mean US. Your words of wisdom and knowledge have helped me tremendously along my journey. Although I don't always like to hear what you ladies have to say, I know in my heart of hearts that I NEED to hear it. Sometimes I feel like a nine year old being told NOT to ask questions, just do it! Yet I know I wouldn't have gotten to almost age 60 without someone telling me "do it" or "don't do it" in other aspects of my life.

Keep on keeping on!!

I've waited an hour for more details and now I have to go to bed, lol... I have a show I'm doing tomorrow am and need to get some sleep!

I'm assuming it was a severe dumping (or similar) due to something put in your coffee? I'll look for a post in the AM- perhaps you've gone off to bed. I hope you're okay.

As for sticking around- I imagine I'd be 300+ lbs in fairly short order if I didn't have some support... though I post less and less about 'my stuff' as I've been a bit repetitive lately.

Now that Claire has posted on this topic, maybe she could work on Duckie, and Erin and a few others that have been MIA.!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kelly, I was going to post a new thread but I found an old one and decided just to blog about what happened to me. Bottom line is I spent the evening in the ER with an IV drip. I was severely dehydrated and my BP was, at one point, 82 over 41. And it's ALL your fault!!! (NOT) Even 10 months out, the only fluids that I can comfortable drink all day long is decaf coffee WITH SF International Coffee Creamers - 40 calories per tablespoon and I have two in each 16 oz cup so it adds up quickly and I don't want to gain weight so I don't drink as much as I need. See, it's all your fault!! At least I'm paying attention to what you have to say.

Seriously, it was a very scary thing. What I learned is "Don't procrastinate and don't self-diagnose!!" I should have gone to the PCP weeks ago.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great post, it makes sense too. But really, your honeymoon period is all long as you want it to be. If you make good choices, track your calories and exercise, you'd still lose weight even if you didn't have surgery. It's a lifestyle change for sure, but it doesn't have to end until you reach your goal!

Michael11515 likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kelly, I was going to post a new thread but I found an old one and decided just to blog about what happened to me. Bottom line is I spent the evening in the ER with an IV drip. I was severely dehydrated and my BP was, at one point, 82 over 41. And it's ALL your fault!!! (NOT) Even 10 months out, the only fluids that I can comfortable drink all day long is decaf coffee WITH SF International Coffee Creamers - 40 calories per tablespoon and I have two in each 16 oz cup so it adds up quickly and I don't want to gain weight so I don't drink as much as I need. See, it's all your fault!! At least I'm paying attention to what you have to say.

Seriously, it was a very scary thing. What I learned is "Don't procrastinate and don't self-diagnose!!" I should have gone to the PCP weeks ago.

eeek. Well.... it's good that you're concerned about drinking liquid calories- a huge no no for those successfully working their AWLP if it's not a protein shake (of course!), but you can't take that overboard either! Even if it's not fun, you need to push the other fluids. (I struggle with this one, big time!)

I'm glad you're okay but now what is your plan for going forward cuz you can't keep doing that as you know. So you're going to need to find something else for fluids. Now, I could go down the list of things you need to try- herbal teas, mio water, crystal light, etc..... for me none of these are as *satisfying* as a cup of coffee (I love to mix a couple teaspoons of the SF international coffee powder Mocha Suisse into my hot cup of joe so I get that!) . But it isn't always about satisfying the brain, it's about doing what our bodies need. For me, as long as it's not plain water and as long as it's ice, ice cold or steaming hot, I'm okay. My advice is, if the other liquids don't feel good going down, try them with differing temps. It might take some trial and error on your part to find the right combo of water additive and temp that doesn't make you feel off... but you'll get hydrated while trying :) And yes, calling the doc sooner next time should it come down to it... I bet you're feeling way better now!

Great post, it makes sense too. But really, your honeymoon period is all long as you want it to be. If you make good choices, track your calories and exercise, you'd still lose weight even if you didn't have surgery. It's a lifestyle change for sure, but it doesn't have to end until you reach your goal!

The honeymoon period is a very specific time that you have post op where your body is malabsorbing calories (for a gastric bypasser anyway) At some point, our bodies regrow villi to make up for the intestine that was removed and starts absorbing them like it did preop. That very specific time is when you'll lose weight almost in spite of what you do sometimes (note I said "almost!!"). The new villi don't do anything to help with the absorbing of nutrients since the part of the intestine that absorbed them is completely removed but at some point- our bodies learn and once we're there- once our bodies have started absorbing those calories losing weight will be the same as it was preop. The typical time frame given by most docs is 12 to 18 months "on average". I always missed that 'on average' part which means that some regrow villi faster than others which means a shorter honeymoon phase and some grow it slower making for a longer HP. I was one whose HP ended at around the 9 month mark and I did NOT listen to those before me that talked about making best use of my HP... I did not think mine would end so soon! Now, losing weight is just as hard as if I didn't have surgery at all.

This is why us old-timers want you to use this active weight loss phase to the best you can while you have it- both to maximize your weight loss but also to give yourself time to relearn new, healthier way of living. And though I don't believe it's wise to add a lot of things that I see people adding to their diets early out.... I can say that I don't think I ever have said you can 'never, ever have that again'. I just mean- not yet! Get yourself to your goal or very close to it.. it's such a very short period of time overall and in general. And once it's gone, it's gone.

Michael11515 likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The honeymoon period is a physical thing, not a mental thing. The mental thing comes later. The honeymoon period that I am referring to is the period immediately after the surgery up to about 8 to 10 months after the surgery. It is the period of time when it is difficult to eat more than what is prescribed - difficult meaning uncomfortable. THAT's where the opportunity is to change habits. Your body can work with your mind. Later, the mind takes over, and it is no longer the honeymoon period - it is reality.

Best,

Claire

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now