11 replies to this topic

[debbielynn]

I just shared this post with another Member who was down and out so i thought I would share this story with all of you. After reading this you may not feel so bad and may see a rainbow somewhere in your existence


Last year I owned a retail store that I have since closed. It was an early sunday Morning and a thin blonde woman around 45 years old walked into my store. She saw a short sleved sweater in the window that whe absolutely loved. It was priced at $12.99. She told me she could not afford it today but really loved it. I encouraged her to try it on, no pressure, jsut for fun. she seemed shaken, uneasy and not really herself but she quickly took the sweater in the back and tried it on. It was a beautiful mint green color and looked great on her tiny frame. when she came out she had tears in her eyes and was covered in bruises all over her arms. I knew immediatly what I was dealing with. she walked to the door to show her abusive boyfriend the sweater and very curtly he said no. she cried softly and started to head back to change. I stopped her and said did he do that to you. she looked me right int he eye and nodded slightly. I told her we could end all of this right now. My phone is on the counter and the police can be here in minutes to arrest this animal. He had no right to hurt her. she said he punches her and beats her all the time but she has to take it because without him she would be homeless. She lost her job, no family and no where to turn. I told her I could call a shelter right now for her and they will come and get her and have him arrested. She started to shake obviously fearful of what he might do to her if he found out about our conversation and she said she would be ok. I know she was not ok. I pray for her still that she is still alive. I never will know what happened to this thin blonde woman that came into my store that day but I do know something. That experience changed my way of thinking forever. I used to get sad when things did not go financially well for me. I used to worry far more than I do now too. Life is pretty good when you look at that situation. I have 4 beautiful kids and a pretty good life overall. somethings like my marriage may not be perfect but for now it is ok, I can survive and be ok. I have family close by that helps me and I know I will never be alone, I have friends that are so close to me. Life may look like lemons but when you are thrown one turn it into lemonade. make every moment feel like it is your greatest moment and live the life you dream of. You may not be rich or live in a mansion but when you have love and friendship in your life sometimes things just work themselves out. If you are down and out right now think about your life and this poor woman who is alone and trapped. you are so fortunate to have the things you have in your life.

[mistymee]

Honestly, Debbie.. I know it's well intentioned but for me, anyway, it comes off as minimizing someone else's pain or judging it as not worthy of their feelings. That was how I read it in the thread you posted it in, anyway and given the OP's reaction, it seems how she read it as well. Again- I know it's meant well so don't think I am not seeing that. Just telling how it comes across to me.

[complicationsurvivor]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your post is lovely. I took it as a reminder that we never have more than we can handle and while our issues seem so great to us many others are suffering their own. Personally I am safe in the life I live and don't have to ever be frightened or worried of any harm. One time a doctor asked me if I was safe at home, that was one of the most caring questions I have ever been asked. Thank you for sharing.

[goingtobethinin2010]

I also took it as a reminder that when we let small things get us down we need to remember how luck we are because so many have such a tough life and problems that makes our seem small in comparison. Thanks for sharing.

[debbielynn]

This is a response to mistyme....that story was not a put down to that poor woman who's shoes I hope to never walk in but a reminder of how precious life is and eventhough we struggle we have to remember how lucky we are not to have to struggle that much and have that much pain and lonliness in our lives. it was told as a reminder only to all of us to thank our lucky stars!

[mistymee]

This is a response to mistyme....that story was not a put down to that poor woman who's shoes I hope to never walk in but a reminder of how precious life is and eventhough we struggle we have to remember how lucky we are not to have to struggle that much and have that much pain and lonliness in our lives. it was told as a reminder only to all of us to thank our lucky stars!

Like I said, I know you didn't intend it to be, but that is how can appear and how it appeared that she took it. Sometimes telling someone about how someone else has it worse only makes them feel like they don't have a right to feel how they feel.

Again- as I said, I know you had good intentions for posting that. But, saying she's not struggling as much- how do we know? Our pain is our pain. That someone else is also in pain does not necessarily make ours less KWIM?

[Kimsey]

I've walked in that other person's shoes and I would of loved to have met someone like you Debbielynn when I was going thru that awful time in my life. thank GOD I got out of it after 2 years and didn't die. You are right, we should be thankful. I hope she got out of that.

[stacy0419]

My mother was abused for years by her husband (not my dad). I grew up watching her being beaten and driving her (I was only in 6th grade) to the hospital. The abuser has the person being abused so scared that they are afraid to leave. It took YEARS for my mom to leave. I was 23 yrs old before she had enough courage to walk out and know that his threats to come after her were nothing more than threats. Debbie, you showed the lady in your store that you cared. I do hope that she eventually pulled herself out of that relationship. I think it was a lovely story to post and that you were not minimizing someones pain.

[mistymee]

Unfortunately, the person whose post this was in originally did feel that it minimized her pain.. she specifically said so .But it's good that others are getting something from it.. at least there is that.

[fgsfsf]

when I was in grad school we took a group counseling course and one of the "lessons" was as we sat in our circle to look to your and and to your right. Chances are that one of those people is worse off than you. It helps put things into perspective.

I don't know the original post so can't comment on that. I sure hope that woman in your store found the courage and strength to leave.

[Linda kay Lehmann]

Debbie what in the world kept you from calling the police yourself? I would have. I am a strong Christian and know that sometimes God will send hurting people to us to pray for them or perhaps help them ,This poor lady need intervention she was helpless no doubt and scared for her life . That guy should have been arrested for his behavior,Who knows she may not be alive today. Please next time call the police yourself. I am just scared for the poor lady. Have you seen her since? I will be in prayer for you and her. Linda








I just shared this post with another Member who was down and out so i thought I would share this story with all of you. After reading this you may not feel so bad and may see a rainbow somewhere in your existence



Last year I owned a retail store that I have since closed. It was an early sunday Morning and a thin blonde woman around 45 years old walked into my store. She saw a short sleved sweater in the window that whe absolutely loved. It was priced at $12.99. She told me she could not afford it today but really loved it. I encouraged her to try it on, no pressure, jsut for fun. she seemed shaken, uneasy and not really herself but she quickly took the sweater in the back and tried it on. It was a beautiful mint green color and looked great on her tiny frame. when she came out she had tears in her eyes and was covered in bruises all over her arms. I knew immediatly what I was dealing with. she walked to the door to show her abusive boyfriend the sweater and very curtly he said no. she cried softly and started to head back to change. I stopped her and said did he do that to you. she looked me right int he eye and nodded slightly. I told her we could end all of this right now. My phone is on the counter and the police can be here in minutes to arrest this animal. He had no right to hurt her. she said he punches her and beats her all the time but she has to take it because without him she would be homeless. She lost her job, no family and no where to turn. I told her I could call a shelter right now for her and they will come and get her and have him arrested. She started to shake obviously fearful of what he might do to her if he found out about our conversation and she said she would be ok. I know she was not ok. I pray for her still that she is still alive. I never will know what happened to this thin blonde woman that came into my store that day but I do know something. That experience changed my way of thinking forever. I used to get sad when things did not go financially well for me. I used to worry far more than I do now too. Life is pretty good when you look at that situation. I have 4 beautiful kids and a pretty good life overall. somethings like my marriage may not be perfect but for now it is ok, I can survive and be ok. I have family close by that helps me and I know I will never be alone, I have friends that are so close to me. Life may look like lemons but when you are thrown one turn it into lemonade. make every moment feel like it is your greatest moment and live the life you dream of. You may not be rich or live in a mansion but when you have love and friendship in your life sometimes things just work themselves out. If you are down and out right now think about your life and this poor woman who is alone and trapped. you are so fortunate to have the things you have in your life.
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[Grider]

We are all so different and our empahy and comapssion run at different levels. Me - you'd be peeling me off with the baseball bat off the dude, but you can only intervene in a grown persons life if they want you to. The gal knows, if she ever needs help, maybe the lady at the store would open the door to it. You offered her an option. I have a lot of passion, but putting it on paper or explaining my thinking is not always correct, sorry but no college courses in writing here, so I comend the young lady for tryng to lift another soul up with her experience.