GloryRN

Can we talk about. . .

25 posts in this topic

Status???

this has been on my mind for a while and I just want to write about it, rather than keep thinking about it.

I don't even know how to start this except to jump in and say that I have noticed the reaction of others when I tell them I am getting WLS. For the most part, people are polite, but then talk behind my back about how unfortunate it is that I give in and took "the easy way" out. Then there are people who are envious of me and want to know "just how did you get that approved?" Or the ones I like best are the ones who think I am mis-using my insurance and that is why healthcare is the way it is in our country. WHOA, now I am responsible for the WHOLE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM breakdown?

Of course all of those reactions are not helpful to me, nor are they supportative. So here I am on a WLS support line and yet again, I notice the different class status'.

I just have to get this off my chest. I have a BAND, I wanted a BAND and I went to find out about a BAND. Yes, I know about bypass, but I didn't want to go that way, inasmuch as it's big-time surgery and I just could never buy into it. Getting the BAND was a major hurdle for me to accept, right up to the time of surgery, I felt guilt and fear about the thing and wondered if I just needed to go home and TRY TRY AGAIN.

Getting back to my little annoyance today.

I have noticed that the most of the particapants here are bypass patients, and there is a certain STATUS received if you get "sleeved". But the band people are - well, lets say I feel like the red-headed step child. Yep, I am here at the WLS family table, but it's by default.

I know, it's just ME thinking this, I know it's my over active imagination. I am bringing this up as a point, that even in our little protective world of WLS "SUPPORT GROUPS", there is a division.

Elite status: the sleeve

Gold Status: bypass or do they call it RNY

Also ran: Band

I also need to say that I have received the most kind remarks and generous help from everyone here, I have also gotten into a couple of passionate discussions with about types of surgery and I need to state that I sometimes approach this web-site as serious work and honestly try to give ideas or sound information when I can. I am serious about people making their decisions based upon their private discussions with their doctors. Yes, I came here for advice and it helped tremendously, but my decision for surgery and the type therein, came as a result of medical consultations.

I have come to know that certain doctors are good at one procedure over another and that is sometimes why RYN or Sleeve or BANDare not recommended. Hell, I don't know, I guess I walked into the BAND Dealership and that's why I got a BAND. You can't get a chevy at KIA, unless it's used.

Am I making any sense? thank you for allowing me to blow off some steam today, I was beginning to feel as if I needed to hide the fact that I got a band.

I am actually happy about it, I have read the post recently from others with BAND problems, I am grateful that those ladies continued to have medical followup and were able to get some resolution. I am also aware of the risks and I don't want them either.

Please forgive me if anything I have written today is upsetting to you. I am obviously working through something.

It's like another version of not being good enough (the old feelings of rejection that led to over eating). Even when I get "APPROVED", it's not good enough, because it's not for the ELITE procedure.

LOL, isn't this a mess. geez. LOL LOL

Bad news is: I expressed my feelings

Good news is: I didn't overeat

As a PS to this thought, Wouldn't it be nice if we were the LAST generation that needed WLS and we were able to turn it around for our kids and our grandchildren.

love you guys. karen

Edited by GloryRN

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Would I have rather had a wls that would have been cheaper on me insurance wise, required an overnight stay rather then a 4 day hospital stay, faster healing time? Sure. BUT I had also rather had a wls surgery which provided me with no option to cheat the system. Because really I didnt get to 252 pounds by following the plan and invoking my awesome willpower.

Hence why I knew lapband was not and option for me. Lapband gave me the option of still eating that gallon of ice cream. Sure it might have slowed me down some, but hell I would have just drank the melted part like a shake. With RNY I dont have that luxury to cheat the system, I eat ice cream I dump. Or at least I assume I do. Since I have never tested the theory and never will.

I think alot of us you see on here who are down on said band know we would have sucked at it. There is no way in hell it would have been successful for me. If it is for you, I congratulate you. I need that fear of dumping to help me along. We also have seen so many get the band and then 2 years or so down the road revise to rny because the band just simply wasnt successful.

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We tend to see a lot of FAILED lapbanders on this site, that switch over to the sleeve or the rny. The band takes a lot more willpower which we obviously don't have if we didn't choose the lapband procedure.

Suebry is a great person to talk to, she works her band like crazy and has done so awesome with it... others admit that it won't work for them.

I don't think lapbanders are redheaded stepchildren. In fact i know as many rny as i do band patients in real life.

fyi, i will always be elite... thank you very much.

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It really comes down to what factor will motivate you MORE Not to eat, for me it's the fear of throwing up. I have the greatest respect for this band, I will not F*** with it. I know what you mean about drinking icecream, believe me, i have already discovered it. So I have to envoke some rationale thinking and realize that it's a TOOL and not a cure.

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It really comes down to what factor will motivate you MORE Not to eat, for me it's the fear of throwing up. I have the greatest respect for this band, I will not F*** with it. I know what you mean about drinking icecream, believe me, i have already discovered it. So I have to envoke some rationale thinking and realize that it's a TOOL and not a cure.

Ok here's the deal... it is getting a grip on your food addiction. All procedures have a "tool". I see myself at 2+ years out just eating whatever I want. I need to gain, so i'm allowing myself to do so.. Not many are in my shoes. I'm not saying that you are going to cheat the band, but a lot do... a lot cheat the rny too. It happens.. we are human. Its the superhuman that claim they never overate before surgery that I worry about.

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As far as I am concerned anyone on this site is a brother or sister to me, it does not matter which surgery you had or plan to have, we all have the same condition, no status in my mind at all. Diann

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I went with RNY because it was a fix for my diabetes -- even before I lost the first pound.

I think we choose our surgeries based on our own needs. I don't differentiate between who has what unless they are asking about a procedure I know little about.

I figure we each chose what worked for us based on our resources and needs, and I don't see any "status" issues myself.

RNY tends to have more immediate complications; lap band more complications further out, and I don't know enough about the sleeve to comment. I didn't consider it because it didn't bring the immediate results for diabetes and, although my surgeon does it, he did not recommend it for me.

I certainly don't look down on anyone who has chosen any of the weight loss surgeries. Then again, I've never been big into anyone's so-called status. I don't look for it, nor would I accept anyone else's push to create it.

I'm either egalitarian or clueless.

I guess there's levels of status for a person who believes there is status and grants it to other people. Me, I don't see it, so I don't grant it.

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I'm really sorry that you've experienced that negativity from people toward your WLS. I chose not to tell anyone but my very close friends and only two family members. I had the Vertical Sleeve a week and a half ago.

As for the status issue, I've never thought of it that way. Given that you've chosen the lap band and your experiences, I'm sure you know it better than the rest of us. My surgeon recommended the sleeve to me and I didn't even know what it was prior to my consult with him. I certainly didn't think it made it "elite." I thought since it was so new, it made it "experimental," which is even more scary. Either way, I'm happy thus far.

I wish you all the best and hope that regardless of what some people may feel about the band that you can find all the positive support you need.

Cheryl

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Status???

this has been on my mind for a while and I just want to write about it, rather than keep thinking about it.

I don't even know how to start this except to jump in and say that I have noticed the reaction of others when I tell them I am getting WLS. For the most part, people are polite, but then talk behind my back about how unfortunate it is that I give in and took "the easy way" out. Then there are people who are envious of me and want to know "just how did you get that approved?" Or the ones I like best are the ones who think I am mis-using my insurance and that is why healthcare is the way it is in our country. WHOA, now I am responsible for the WHOLE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM breakdown?

Of course all of those reactions are not helpful to me, nor are they supportative. So here I am on a WLS support line and yet again, I notice the different class status'.

I just have to get this off my chest. I have a BAND, I wanted a BAND and I went to find out about a BAND. Yes, I know about bypass, but I didn't want to go that way, inasmuch as it's big-time surgery and I just could never buy into it. Getting the BAND was a major hurdle for me to accept, right up to the time of surgery, I felt guilt and fear about the thing and wondered if I just needed to go home and TRY TRY AGAIN.

Getting back to my little annoyance today.

I have noticed that the most of the particapants here are bypass patients, and there is a certain STATUS received if you get "sleeved". But the band people are - well, lets say I feel like the red-headed step child. Yep, I am here at the WLS family table, but it's by default.

I know, it's just ME thinking this, I know it's my over active imagination. I am bringing this up as a point, that even in our little protective world of WLS "SUPPORT GROUPS", there is a division.

Elite status: the sleeve

Gold Status: bypass or do they call it RNY

Also ran: Band

I also need to say that I have received the most kind remarks and generous help from everyone here, I have also gotten into a couple of passionate discussions with about types of surgery and I need to state that I sometimes approach this web-site as serious work and honestly try to give ideas or sound information when I can. I am serious about people making their decisions based upon their private discussions with their doctors. Yes, I came here for advice and it helped tremendously, but my decision for surgery and the type therein, came as a result of medical consultations.

I have come to know that certain doctors are good at one procedure over another and that is sometimes why RYN or Sleeve or BANDare not recommended. Hell, I don't know, I guess I walked into the BAND Dealership and that's why I got a BAND. You can't get a chevy at KIA, unless it's used.

Am I making any sense? thank you for allowing me to blow off some steam today, I was beginning to feel as if I needed to hide the fact that I got a band.

I am actually happy about it, I have read the post recently from others with BAND problems, I am grateful that those ladies continued to have medical followup and were able to get some resolution. I am also aware of the risks and I don't want them either.

Please forgive me if anything I have written today is upsetting to you. I am obviously working through something.

It's like another version of not being good enough (the old feelings of rejection that led to over eating). Even when I get "APPROVED", it's not good enough, because it's not for the ELITE procedure.

LOL, isn't this a mess. geez. LOL LOL

Bad news is: I expressed my feelings

Good news is: I didn't overeat

As a PS to this thought, Wouldn't it be nice if we were the LAST generation that needed WLS and we were able to turn it around for our kids and our grandchildren.

love you guys. karen

Karen you can go to lapbandtalk.com this is a site for people who have had lapband sugery only. You are welcome here anytime but most people seem to think what they are having done is the best and only way to go. I was planning on having Lapband and then changed my mind to go with the bypass and I had been on lapbandtalm.com for three months doing research well when I mentioned that I was just thinking about bypass you would have thought I was someone who had committed a major crime. Immediatley when I would ask any question I started to get attitudes. So I do understand how you feel. I loved the lapband site it was easer to follow and the chat room was full all the time with people who could help with any question I had. I love this site but wish the chat room was used more.

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Different strokes for different folks...what works for one person, won't work for the next person...

Whichever "tool" you choose to get is very individual. For my medical history the RnY was recommended; and I have not regretted it for a second! I knew I didn't the will-power to use the band to it's full potential...and with all my co-morbidties and with my eating habits gastric-bypass was the tool for me.

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I must be dense because I have never seen any hierarchy here. Maybe I just haven't looked for it.

Personally, the band wouldn't have addressed my eating problems - the only other surgery available was the RNY and I'm delighted with the results. But I'll support anyone with the band - exactly as I would any other form of WLS.

I see this as a weight loss surgery forum. We're all here because we need advice, guidance and support.

Every time I log on, I just click "New Posts". If I can answer the question then I post - I don't even look to see what forum it's on (cept for questions about vitamins/minerals).

I'm with Diann - this forum is family. We're here with one ultimate goal.

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Hey Gloria, look, remember everyone is not going to share in your vision. Sometimes you have to keep the vision to yourself. If you feel persuaded to change yourlife with weight loss surgery do it. They are not paying your bills, the hell withthem. Do Gloria!

Be incouraged,

Debbie

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Different strokes for different folks...what works for one person, won't work for the next person...

Whichever "tool" you choose to get is very individual. For my medical history the RnY was recommended; and I have not regretted it for a second! I knew I didn't the will-power to use the band to it's full potential...and with all my co-morbidties and with my eating habits gastric-bypass was the tool for me.

That's exactly my point, people make decisions based on a lot of different factors. I chose WLS because of diabetes and high cholestrol. It's only 10 days out and my blood sugar is within normal limits, hopefully, the cholesterol will follow. The surgeon recommended the band (the PCP agreed), I have a co-worker that had it a year ago and she sailed right through, I was amazed at her. SO, I did it.

I just expressed myself. I am so happy my decision and so glad I went through with it. There were many many moments right up to the time of being wheeled into the OR, that I wondered if what I was doing was right. I am in full support of surgical intervention; however, I hope the next generation doesn't have to down this path.

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Linda,

You started out at a lower BMI and the band has a good track record for lightweights.

You sound well informed and determined to make a success of your choice.

I'm just sorry that you feel there is a hierachial thing. Do you feel that about this forum?

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Linda,

You started out at a lower BMI and the band has a good track record for lightweights.

You sound well informed and determined to make a success of your choice.

I'm just sorry that you feel there is a hierachial thing. Do you feel that about this forum?

Hi Corrine,

it's Karen, actually I look back and don't know where I got the idea of a band, except that my co-worker got it and did so well. To be honest, I thought it was the evolution of the traditional bypass. I did start off at 38 BMI and I remember going to all the classes and people saying things like "you're post-op right? or you're not big enough". My ticking bomb was the diabetes and high cholesterol. I was out of time for poking around with a diet.

Maybe it's part of my denial, but I think that just having the band is enough to make me change. Right now I have NO intention of getting a fill, we'll see how that goes.

There are differences in the procedures, I have a couple of other thoughts but I will reserve comment. If I have anything to offer to this forum that is helpful to someone else, then I am happy. My area of expertise is health insurance (including denials) and I am very happy to share some tips.

I am not expert on weight loss, or weight loss surgery, or behaviour modification. I am at the very beginning of this process. I am learning more every day. k

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Sorry Karen - I don't know where "Linda" came from.

I have a friend who had the band fitted just over a year ago. He's never had a fill but is doing really well. His weight loss is consistent and he's now down almost 70lb.

For him, it would appear that just the act of going through surgery and having some restriction in the early stages was enough to radically change his eating behaviour.

hugs...

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...for some it work, for some it dont. I had a band "installed" 2 years ago and lost about 30 pounds...just to pick it up plus again. I'm getting RNY on 15 Jan and the band taken out.

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Well, as far as a hierarchy, I have never noticed one either. I think it is wonderful that there is more than one option for surgical intervention for weight loss. I haven't seen any evidence on the board that one group of folks feels that their choice was better than some one else's, but I can be dense about such things. I hope after reading more you find that the tier system doesn't exist and it is just your mind playing tricks on you. Mine does that a lot, especially when I am feeling unsure of myself!!

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We're not all the same. Ask anyone in my family, they kept taking me to doctors when I was younger because I didn't eat a lot but kept gaining weight. You can call right now and ask my parents. I have no reason to lie.

I'm not a binger, nor have I ever been. I have always eaten normal portions, just always the wrong things, because when I was younger I ate NO MEAT at all. I still don't like much, but I force myself to eat it because I know the importance of a balanced diet. My parents didn't cook meals either, so I didn't get vegetables. I learned at a very young age to fend for myself. That left pasta, cheese, pizza, cereal, sandwhiches, chips, and bread. All high carb foods. Couple that with a slow metabolism (it takes 36 hrs for food to pass through my system) and a propensity for obesity in my family, and that's all it took.

The only way I've ever been able to lose weight was to starve myself - only eating 800 calories a day and working out an hour a day. I'm also a slow loser, so I'd get frustrated with being hungry and give up after 2 weeks of seeing little to no results. It was a frustrating cycle that kept repeating itself over and over.

That's why I'm able to lose weight now. I can workout and eat 800 calories a day like always when I'd lose weight - only now I don't have that gnawing hunger to disappoint me constantly.

We're not all bingers, so it's very unfair to think that all obese people are like you were and ate high calorie foods in large portions. I usually stayed around 250 - 275 lbs, but ballooned after I was forced into sedentary, because my body rejected the lapband and caused me 4 years of severe chronic pain that I'm still struggling with as a result of the port still being stuck in my body.

----

Gloria, I hope you didn't gather from my post this morning that I was downing the lapband. I never once said anything negative about it. I also never said that sleevers are better than RNYers or Lapbanders. I said that I believe the sleeve will become the gold standard in WLS in the next 5-10 years. My reasoning is simply because you get similar results as with RNY without the chance of nutritional deficencies that we tend to see with RNY. As more and more surgeons learn to do sleeves and get back data on the sleeve, I think the'll recommend it quicker than they do RNY for that very reason. I know many banders, many RNYers, and many sleevers, and the sleevers are the only ones that I don't personally know anyone that's had a complication. That doesn't make sleevers better than the others!! No way!! That just means that the procedure may be better. (Or we just don't know yet?)

I think all 3 procedures have great merit and they are all appropriate in certain instances. I simply think that if that poster wants the sleeve, but her surgeon wants her to have the RNY, that she's entitled to get the surgery she wants and could seek a second opinion. I never belittled any other surgery nor did I intend to. I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable, but the facts are that there -are- more complications with the band or the RNY than the sleeve.

Your thoughts did prompt me to think about all the choices. I didn't get a negative vibe from it, just made me think. It did cause me to cringe at the thought of a "gold standard" 5-10 years from now. It made me want to go get those people NOW and help them change their lives, their minds and the way that they eat. I mean, I started looking at 13 year old that are a little chunky now and everything in me screamed NO STOP , change your ways.

That was a wake up call for me. I appreciated your comments and I was so encouraged that despite your complications, you had a baby and were able to discuss other options.

It's good sometimes for me to think about things in other ways. karen

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So you got fat overeating carbs or you got fat eating salads and healthy stuff? I know plenty of people on chronic meds who aren't morbidly obese.. and also my 2 cousins always made their own meals cos my aunt NEVER COOKED, turned out to be the 2 healthiest/skinniest in the family.

We're not all the same. Ask anyone in my family, they kept taking me to doctors when I was younger because I didn't eat a lot but kept gaining weight. You can call right now and ask my parents. I have no reason to lie.

I'm not a binger, nor have I ever been. I have always eaten normal portions, just always the wrong things, because when I was younger I ate NO MEAT at all. I still don't like much, but I force myself to eat it because I know the importance of a balanced diet. My parents didn't cook meals either, so I didn't get vegetables. I learned at a very young age to fend for myself. That left pasta, cheese, pizza, cereal, sandwhiches, chips, and bread. All high carb foods. Couple that with a slow metabolism (it takes 36 hrs for food to pass through my system) and a propensity for obesity in my family, and that's all it took.

The only way I've ever been able to lose weight was to starve myself - only eating 800 calories a day and working out an hour a day. I'm also a slow loser, so I'd get frustrated with being hungry and give up after 2 weeks of seeing little to no results. It was a frustrating cycle that kept repeating itself over and over.

That's why I'm able to lose weight now. I can workout and eat 800 calories a day like always when I'd lose weight - only now I don't have that gnawing hunger to disappoint me constantly.

We're not all bingers, so it's very unfair to think that all obese people are like you were and ate high calorie foods in large portions. I usually stayed around 250 - 275 lbs, but ballooned after I was forced into sedentary, because my body rejected the lapband and caused me 4 years of severe chronic pain that I'm still struggling with as a result of the port still being stuck in my body.

----

Gloria, I hope you didn't gather from my post this morning that I was downing the lapband. I never once said anything negative about it. I also never said that sleevers are better than RNYers or Lapbanders. I said that I believe the sleeve will become the gold standard in WLS in the next 5-10 years. My reasoning is simply because you get similar results as with RNY without the chance of nutritional deficencies that we tend to see with RNY. As more and more surgeons learn to do sleeves and get back data on the sleeve, I think the'll recommend it quicker than they do RNY for that very reason. I know many banders, many RNYers, and many sleevers, and the sleevers are the only ones that I don't personally know anyone that's had a complication. That doesn't make sleevers better than the others!! No way!! That just means that the procedure may be better. (Or we just don't know yet?)

I think all 3 procedures have great merit and they are all appropriate in certain instances. I simply think that if that poster wants the sleeve, but her surgeon wants her to have the RNY, that she's entitled to get the surgery she wants and could seek a second opinion. I never belittled any other surgery nor did I intend to. I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable, but the facts are that there -are- more complications with the band or the RNY than the sleeve.

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It is true that the majority of members here have RNY. However, lately we have been getting more banders and sleevers, which I think is a good thing. I am sorry if you have felt your choice hasn't been respected. I think the decision about which surgery to have is a very personal thing. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another. And people can be successful with all the different surgeries. All are just a tool and it's up to us how we use our tool.

Kelly

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I have not had surgery yet and I am relatively new to this forum, trying to get educated on the different WLS available to make an informed choice on the surgery I feel will work best for me. I must agree that there is more talk about the GBS than the lap band and sleeve on this forum, but I was excited that this forum was for everyone who is considering WLS or have had WLS. Never once did I think that there was a "status" attached to any of the surgeries - only personal choices people have made based on their individual circumstances, such as will power, medical issues, doctor recommendations, etc... For me, I am leaning towards the GBS because of the amount of weight I have to lose (145 - 150 lbs), my non-existent will power, my hypertension, high risk of diabetes, and did I say "no will power?" I know that the dumping syndrome will keep me honest and force me to change my eating habits. All of my father's siblings (10 of them) have developed Type II Diabetes after 50 yrs, and I'm pushing 45. So far, I do not have diabetes and I may never get it, but I have mild hypertension, and every year despite the gizillion diet attempts, the scale keeps going in the wrong direction - UP. I can no longer afford to waste any more time on failed diets; I need something with the greatest success rate and from what I have researched, GBS has the most promise for my situation. We have to remember that WLS is only a tool to help us and what works for one will not necessarily work for all.

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WHoa, they took off the band and left the port?????

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Hey Karen-

I'm known as the 'eternal optimist'...I guess I've learned to stay away from those that are negative or those that have a 'my WL surgery fits all' mentality (here, on LapBandTalk, or even other sites), but I certainly listen to those that have had complications or issues as knowledge is power and none of us know where we'll be in the future.

I chose LB because it fit me...I'm a seasoned big weight yo-yo dieter with portion size problems, no diabetes...and a chocolate addiction, which had me at least looking at RNY, but realized that LB fit me best (sleeve wasn't even an option as it wasn't covered). The LB is working great for me. I have 3 sisters and a brother, all obese, two morbidly obese. I can tell you that I'd recommend an RNY for at least two of them if they asked me...everyone has different needs...it's a very personal choice.

I got a great welcome on this site, and received lots of patient support and information as I was starting out. I chose to set up my almost daily blog (for my first year, now not-so-daily) on LapBandTalk simply because there are more LBers there...I probably would have chosen another generic blog site, but I'm so tech challenged I didn't even know what a blog was when I started out. Honestly, I keep coming here mainly because the people are great and I'm now all about paying it forward. I've tried to find places I can help here...I got involved in the '6 month diet' thread that a lot of us had to do no matter what the surgery and I've had fun watching the people there get there approvals.

I'll tell you I am disappointed that there aren't more posts here in the LB section...some whole sections haven't been posted on in a long time, but who can be blamed for that? We're certainly in the minority here, but that doesn't make me feel like a lower status...I think it just means we LBer's need to start posting more to help each other out. Even on LBT I've had to focus my time on my blog and I've chosen to spend the rest of my time answering other blogs...I don't post much at all...there's only so much excess time in the day LOL.

Good for you that you got that off your chest, and mostly, I'm glad that you didn't turn to food LOL!!! We've all got the something in common in that we have food issues that brought us to the extreme of needing WLS to help us out...personally, I think that gives us something that binds us all together. If we can't all respect and support eachother's decisions then how can we expect the 'skinny world' to respect and support us? -BG

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I am so content with my decision. It's only been 10 days and I am doing fine. I love to read the questions and answers and sometimes it pertains to my profession and I have been able to post a sound response. I don't know what sort of over eater I am, but it's carb driven and I got everything out of the house, once my daughter left, I took all the stuff I bought for her over to a friend (who has kids) and never looked back. The only little hiccup I have now is a small incisional area looks yucky, it's about a 1/4 inch and it needs wet to dry dressings (the tape really gives me fits, and I am annoyed with this delay in healing). I also can feel 2 sutures and just can't see well enough to snip them. My post-op visit is wed, so it can wait.

Sometimes I don't know where my ideas come from, I think it's something in me that I tend to disqualify myself. I will work on that in 2010.

Did I tell you, I got a JOB - I get to go to work on Tuesday and I am so happy. I am going to make a strong effort NOT to voice my opinion too much and just enjoy my work. Right now I am planning my little meals and how to fit exercise in and for the first time, I am expecting my next "procedure" to be a tummy tuck and breast lift - hey WHY NOT. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I will succeed and get to where I need to be. for the most part, I am so very happy with my decision, it was good for me.

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