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How many of you told your employer?


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#41 Eireanne

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Posted 03 August 2009 - 12:29 PM

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it


Wow, I know EXACTLY how you feel!! I've told my "work husband" (who is also a close friend outside of work) and his wife, my boss's boss (who took me to a seminar about 6 months after she had her surgery), and two friends (a couple), one of whom had surgery 5 years ago (and the other of whom is retired and will be taking me to/from the hospital and checking in on me). Between those 5 people, I have a pretty good support network. Add you all into the mix, and I feel pretty good about it.

As soon as I can, I'll get back to the gym (we have one here at work), so people can see I'm working at it. If they ask me directly, then I'll decided at that time what to tell them. Right now, it's none of their business.

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one not telling anyone!!

~Eireanne~
Southern California
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Surgery date: 8/6/09
Highest/day of surgery/current/goal: 245/232/128/130

#42 Laureate

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 05:13 PM

I only told my boss and then two people I respect very much over his head at the corporate level.

I have not told the employees I supervise or anyone else at our business, which employs about 50 people. I've heard the recovery can be an emotional time, and I just didn't want to be answering questions -- especially: So how much weight have you lost. Also: Should you be eating that?

After the initial recovery, I may share. Or I may not.

We'll see.

#43 TooManyExcuses

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 10:47 AM

outside of my cousin and my wife - I have told no one. I will inform my brother, mother and step father possibly when I have a confirmed date so they can take of if they wish. But I have thought of never telling them also. I plan on telling my boss that I am in the hospital because I was havng difficulty breathing and then I will call the next day before discharge so he knows I stayed overnight, when he asks if everythign is alright I will simply say "the dr. says if I want to live, i need to lose weight." I will take some sick days and come back to work and when asked by coworker friends if everything is alright I will tell them yes and that I need to lose weight and that I am going to be on a dr. monitored and strict supervised diet. So far none of this is a lie and it all will explain my actions for the upcoming weeks turning into months, and as the weight decreases they will account it to being on this diet. We have a gym here at work so I will use it cause I need to and it will strengthen my story. Since my diet is being supervised by a Dr. my folowup visits for teh surgery will already be prebuilt in and when I need to leave early for a Dr. appointment, they will expect it

Edited by TooManyExcuses, 09 September 2009 - 12:04 PM.
read it and realized my ingrish is horrid

My name is NOT "Big Guy"

Aug. 27, 2009 - Joined this forum!!:D
9/2 - Added sig flair
9/2 - informational seminar
9/10 - initial consult and weight of 365
9/14 - Family Dr. appt
9/15 - Dr. requires bloodwork today
9/16 - support group mtg
9/17 - Psych Eval
9/21 - Nutitionist
9/22 - Cardiologist
9/28 - Echo and Stress test
10/8 - APPROVED!!

#44 Laureate

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 11:23 AM

outside of my cousin and my wife - I have told no one. I will inform my brother, mother and step father possibly when I have a confirmed date so they can take of if they wish. But I have thought of never telling them also. I plan on telling my boss that I am in the hospital but that I was havng difficulty breathing and I will call the next day before discharge so he knows I stayed overnight, when he asks if everythign is alright I will simply say "the dr. says if I want to live, i need to lose weight. I will take some sick days and come back to work and when asked by coworker friends if everythign is alright I will tell them yes and that I need to lose weight and that I am going to be on a monitored and strict supervised diet. So far none of this is a lie and it all will explain my actions for the upcoming weeks turning into months, and as the weight decreases they will account it to being on a diet. We have a gym here at work so I will use it cause I need to and it will strengthen my story


I think that is a fabulous plan, and I just might borrow elements from it!

#45 TooManyExcuses

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 12:28 PM

I think that is a fabulous plan, and I just might borrow elements from it!



I am not telling my boss, his boss, or human resources or disabiity about it. And my kids dont know. They will know I went to the hospital and had some tests run. I am not mentioning surgery cause then I am left with 3 options tell them what the surgery was adn ruin what I dont want to ruin, make up soemthing but that is a lie I would have to keep up or tell them it is none of their business wich I think is teh worse choice. when you dont want to give up the info adn it is not readily noticable, everyone thinks the most disgusting thing they can. I rather them know I had WLS than to think I am having my butthole rerouted thru my peehole so it is easier to wipe. It is human nature to think the worst. I dont want to be looked at like I work at a carnival
My name is NOT "Big Guy"

Aug. 27, 2009 - Joined this forum!!:D
9/2 - Added sig flair
9/2 - informational seminar
9/10 - initial consult and weight of 365
9/14 - Family Dr. appt
9/15 - Dr. requires bloodwork today
9/16 - support group mtg
9/17 - Psych Eval
9/21 - Nutitionist
9/22 - Cardiologist
9/28 - Echo and Stress test
10/8 - APPROVED!!

#46 UndercoverDiva

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 01:34 PM

I rather them know I had WLS than to think I am having my butthole rerouted thru my peehole so it is easier to wipe. It is human nature to think the worst. I dont want to be looked at like I work at a carnival


:eek::eek:







:D:D
Audrey:D


The most dangerous to themselves and others are those who are educated beyond their intelligence. - Me


[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


Height: 4'10.5"
May 2009 - 10 lbs. down
June 2009 - beginning weight 161 lbs.
July 2009 - beginning weight 156 lbs.
August 2009 - beginning weight 147 lbs.
September 2009 - beginning weight 142 lbs.
Ok...missed a few months, but...
February 2010 - beginning weight 119 lbs.(24.9 BMI - NORMAL!)

#47 Lady_Prime

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 09:38 AM

I have told my coworkers, boss and just about everyone that I had the surgery and I don't regret it. IMHO, I feel that knowledge is power and if my surgery has helped others to think about getting it for themselves, then I'm all for it.

I've had NOTHING but positive responses regarding this. People tell me that I'm "melting" away..which is fine. For those others who snub their noses at me, I just say "**** 'em"...:eek:
RNY -06/15/2009
Starting weight -378
Day of surgery weight -355
Current weight - 183.9
Goal weight - One airplane seat-DONE!!!

Your Body Fat Weight is: 40.3 lbs
Your Muscle Mass is: 143.6 lbs
Your Body Fat Percentage is: 21.91%-FITNESS RANGE!!

#48 hollycerniglia

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 09:48 AM

I told everyone at work. I even announced it on facebook and myspace that I was having the surgery. I am proud of it so why hide it.
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#49 LaChica707

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 09:54 AM

I've told my group here at work... Everyone seems to be supportive about my choice..the only thing... I GET HIGHLY irritated when my Boss stares at me and asks.. Are you sure you wanna go thru with "that" surgery?.. I'M THINKING DUDE.. #%$?! Are you saying that because you're scared something might happen to me, or is it because HES DREADING THE FACT that instead of me doing all the work.. HE'S GONNA HAVE TO DO IT when i'm gone... Either case.. it bugs me.

The only reason why I let him know.. Is because he's gonna have to do my work while I'm out.

other than that - I really didn't have to.. But I swear.. When he says that to me I get OFFENDED.

He says: You don't really need that.. you could do it on your own.

Me: (aahh go Fk urself thinkin this in my head) I don't really wanna explain my life story. So that is that. I'm having surgery I don't want to discuss it with you.

He: Gets offended. with pissy face and walks away.

i tried to explain it to him.. how my whole life i've been the big girl... yadda yadda yadda...
And he just gave me this NIKE commercial speech about how "i can DO IT"..

I'm thinking.. you didn't hear one freakin word you fruckin moron.. why am I wasting time???....

MY WHOLE LIFE- that should've been ENOUGH. lame @*#..
8/14/09-Orientation DONE
9/8/09- Pre-op Orientation DONE
9/11/09- Meet W/Surgeon (Dr. Park Kaiser Richmond)DONE
9/23/09- Psyc Evalu.DONE
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Starting -207.5
Current- 197.7
Surgery Goal Weight- 190
Goal- 115

"My most secret fantasy is having 2 MEN... (one cooking the other cleaning)":rolleyes:

#50 Lady_Prime

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 12:06 PM

Ohhh LaChica, I totally hear you on this one!!

People don't understand that it's not just getting off of your butt to exercise. My weight issue was completely hereditary even when I got off my butt and exercised. I didn't have an overeating issue either...

That guy sounds like a complete tool. I'm here to support you!! :D
RNY -06/15/2009
Starting weight -378
Day of surgery weight -355
Current weight - 183.9
Goal weight - One airplane seat-DONE!!!

Your Body Fat Weight is: 40.3 lbs
Your Muscle Mass is: 143.6 lbs
Your Body Fat Percentage is: 21.91%-FITNESS RANGE!!

#51 LaChica707

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 01:50 PM

Ohhh LaChica, I totally hear you on this one!!

People don't understand that it's not just getting off of your butt to exercise. My weight issue was completely hereditary even when I got off my butt and exercised. I didn't have an overeating issue either...

That guy sounds like a complete tool. I'm here to support you!! :D


Thanks Lady Prime! haha cute Avitar too.. HE JUST WALKED TO MY DESK RIGHT NOW AND ASKED ME THE SAME FREAKIN QUESTION!!!
So I told him.. PLEASE DO NOT ASK IF I'M SURE IF I WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH MYSELF.

and I said it in a very MEAN BITCHY WAY.

I SOOO HOPE HE GOT THE PICTURE.
:confused:
8/14/09-Orientation DONE
9/8/09- Pre-op Orientation DONE
9/11/09- Meet W/Surgeon (Dr. Park Kaiser Richmond)DONE
9/23/09- Psyc Evalu.DONE
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Starting -207.5
Current- 197.7
Surgery Goal Weight- 190
Goal- 115

"My most secret fantasy is having 2 MEN... (one cooking the other cleaning)":rolleyes:

#52 Arsonal

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 03:39 AM

I pretty much told everyone at work. We are like family, and I knew that the majority would accept my decision one way or another. Our Chief (the head supervisor) had a bypass years ago, I think 15-20 years ago, and he was very supportive.

I guess I'm fortunate - I've got pretty good support at work. I know that someone at work would be there to kick me in the butt if I got off track.
-- Paul

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CENTURY CLUB: 04/15/10


Highest / Current / Goal
367.9 / 256.0 / 200


(Stats as of 07/25/10)

#53 LaChica707

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 06:22 AM

I pretty much told everyone at work. We are like family, and I knew that the majority would accept my decision one way or another. Our Chief (the head supervisor) had a bypass years ago, I think 15-20 years ago, and he was very supportive.

I guess I'm fortunate - I've got pretty good support at work. I know that someone at work would be there to kick me in the butt if I got off track.



Thats great that your co-workers (family) are there to support you like that.. You must work with a GOOD bunch of people.. I have a couple of ladies that watch me like a Hawk as if they were my older sisters.. and I love them for that.. so I know what you mean how they're like family.
Good! The more support.. the better!
8/14/09-Orientation DONE
9/8/09- Pre-op Orientation DONE
9/11/09- Meet W/Surgeon (Dr. Park Kaiser Richmond)DONE
9/23/09- Psyc Evalu.DONE
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Starting -207.5
Current- 197.7
Surgery Goal Weight- 190
Goal- 115

"My most secret fantasy is having 2 MEN... (one cooking the other cleaning)":rolleyes:

#54 TooManyExcuses

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 06:39 AM

I am going back on what I initially posted.

I am telling my supervisor that I am having surgery. I am also filling out the disability paperwork ahead of time so I can stay our for like 3 weeks and be paid.

My supervisor and I do the same work, and we rely on each to complete the tasks we have as they come in. this measn we have t coordinate vacations and stuff like that so that we have proper covereage to meet deadlines and to be sure someone is available. If I just go out on disability for a "sponatneous" sugery, I would feel I am screwign him and leaving him high and dry.

So I am tellign him in advance - that I am having a minor Hernia repaired and will be out of work for 3 weeks!
My name is NOT "Big Guy"

Aug. 27, 2009 - Joined this forum!!:D
9/2 - Added sig flair
9/2 - informational seminar
9/10 - initial consult and weight of 365
9/14 - Family Dr. appt
9/15 - Dr. requires bloodwork today
9/16 - support group mtg
9/17 - Psych Eval
9/21 - Nutitionist
9/22 - Cardiologist
9/28 - Echo and Stress test
10/8 - APPROVED!!

#55 rsw

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 12:57 PM

Not only am I not telling anyone at work, I am planning to straight up lie when people ask (as they inevitably will). I once knew a woman who dropped a bunch of weight from some problems she was having with her stomach (an ulcer maybe?). She was not terribly heavy to begin with, so I am pretty certain she didn't have WLS. My plan is to say something to the effect that I'm having some issues with my stomach and I don't care to share the details. My weight loss will likely be less dramatic than some others on the site as I have 75 lbs to lose, and a few years ago I managed to lose 35 of it on south beach (before gaining it all back of course).

I know that some people will speculate, and that is just fine. Most people's minds just don't go to the surgery, and they don't really care about my weight to begin with, I figure. I too am taking 2 weeks vacation and figuring that I can return my office (my work is all desk and meetings). I know it may be hard, but I managed to get through 2 pregnancies working full time, one of which made me incredibly ill for its entirety, so I figure it can't be too much worse than that.

My bigger concern is that we have so many lunch meetings around my office, and I HATE that my eating becomes a spectacle (as it did w/ the south beach). It's so mortifying to have my diet become so public, only to lose and then gain. I so desperately want to keep this whole thing private!

#56 rsw

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 01:12 PM

I am in the same situation. I haven't even told my hubby yet because I know he is going to be against it. I am just waiting until I can be strong enough to tell him I am doing it for me and there is no stopping me. I hope he loves me enough to support me, but if not sadly it is a risk I am willing to take - it is just that important to me.


I told my husband once I had the surgery date scheduled. I told him I would love for him to agree with the decision, but I know he won't, so all I need from him is to pick up my slack around the house for a couple of weeks (which is not terribly hard b/c we have a nanny who can work extra hours and do a whole lot of what I usually do, and the kids can eat chicken nuggets). He was pretty nasty, asking me if I'm really that lazy and unmotivated that I can't do it myself. I told him I'd take a cab to the hospital and the nanny can pick me up. Well a couple of weeks later he said he can't let me go through that alone and if I really want to go through with it, he will be there with me. Which is nice to hear, but would have been really nice to hear a lot sooner.

Sorry to digress...this is a whole different topic, I know.

#57 Amilea

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 02:33 PM

I've been very fortunate in that my husband and mother have been very supportive. I've not told my father yet, but he is likely to keep his opinion more or less to himself and will love me anyway. My kid's aunt had lapband done not long ago and visited her in the hospital. She is totally open about it with her family, and so it seems like not so much of a big deal to them. Just another thing adults do I guess.

As to my coworkers. I'm not sure. Those that 'hang out' with me during the day (not just in meetings, but so that we talk socially) certainly know about my nutritionist appointments and the diet changes and exercise I have been doing. As that will only continue (or get more extreme) after surgery, I don't know if it will be that much more noticable. I haven't decided if I will tell them or not.

I will need to tell my boss and HR, but both will be discrete. I have worked here 10 years without ever taking five consecutive days off, so I figure I'm due! :) They have seen me yo-yo from 287lbs, 155lbs, 306lbs, 181lbs, 384lbs, and no one has ever said a word to me about my weight other than to congratulate me when they noticed it coming off. (Though I do remember telling someone who gave me the hairy eyeball as I ordered pasta that I'd given Atkins up after 13 months.)

I work in an environment with a lot of beautiful young men and women, many of whom have had plastics done (subtle and not-so-much). I'm sure some critics whisper behind their backs, but *shrug* I've always been the cheerleader for folks that take charge to do something that makes them happy. Sure beats hanging out with the folks that are bitter, sad and miserable all the time.

One guy dropped trou (at an off-site happy hour) to show us his surgeon's 'masterpiece'. There was all kinds of wrong in that, but it was too hysterically funny at the time for me (at least) to feel offended! And I honestly appreciated his candor. If it makes him happy, all power to him.

But telling folks I had intestinal surgery isn't a lie and is likely more than enough info for those not in my inner circle (but who ask) to handle. So I don't know yet how I will handle it.

I did talk to my priest about it (before I even told my husband I was thinking about it). He initially told me he needed to pray over the issue before he counseled me. When we talked later he told me that he believed that refusing the blessing that God offered was sinful. I worry about telling my church friends more than my coworkers. My coworkers are used to thinking off the wall, doing crazy things, reinventing themselves. My church friends seem to have a more hard line.

Still my church friends would be the first to offer support if I was having gallbladder surgery or my appendix removed. They would be the sort to come by and tidy up or make sure the lawn got mowed, bring by food for my family. Leaving them out seems wrong too. Would they be less supportive if they considered the surgery elective? I honestly don't know and am a little afraid to find out.

Ugh. I'm conflicted. But it is in my nature to be open and honest and expressive regardless, so I probably will. It wouldn't be the first time people knew more about me than they likely wished too. haha.

#58 Aviator

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Posted 03 November 2009 - 11:34 PM

And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?


... primarily because it is no one's business but mine. Check out my Log book, in the first few pages for other reasons why I didn't tell. Here, 10 months and 82 lbs later, I still haven't disclosed it.
Av

Aviator aka AeroBear - To learn about my WLS journey and what YOU can expect check out Aviator's Log Book

Procedure--- Date--------- Initial weight--- Lowest weight

SLEEVE----- 12.31.2008-- 310------------  225

REVISION--- 7.25.2013--- 258-------------195... at GOAL!  20 lbs. below surgeon's goal weight for me.

Total lost to date: 115 lb.


#59 TabFox

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Posted 04 November 2009 - 05:34 PM

I was scheduled and made the mistake of telling my coworkers, who, of course, did not have weight problems. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of flack I got from them. So much that I canceled my surgery and decided to try losing on my own for another year. I lost a whopping 2 lbs yippeee. I rescheduled the surgery, and told noone but my immediate boss. I told him that if the others asked, I was having "female surgery." He said, well you are female and you are having surgery. Good luck and let me know if you need anything! I told some of them that I was having breast implants...which they knew was false since at the time I was a 48DDD. Anyway....fast forward 6 years and 150 lbs less, and I don't regret having the surgery at all. In fact a former coworker called me about a year ago and she decided to have the surgery and told noone but the boss as well since she knew how brutal they were to me. She's doing great as well, I'm happy to say.
I don't know if it's jealousy or envy, or what causes people to change their attitudes towards you, but it does happen. I had this surgery for me...not for people to like me.
I now have a great job and nobody knows I had weight loss surgery. I have been passed over years ago because of my weight, so I 100% agree that some employers are biased against larger people. Sad, but true.
Tabitha
Open 5/26/04
321/171/Passed Goal!

#60 SanDiegoWM

SanDiegoWM

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  • 51 posts
  • Surgeon:Dr. Charles Callery
  • Start Weight:272
  • Current Weight:145
  • Goal Weight:130
  • Surgery Type:Gastric Bypass

Posted 04 November 2009 - 08:33 PM

I only told my employer I had surgery I needed to have done. The day I went into the hospital the Dr. put me in for disability that way I did not burn up all my vacation and left me with sick days.

After losing I told people, some were positive, some were not. But it was the nicest thing I have done for myself.
San Diego Woman :D
WLS on 8/28/07
272/144/135-150
Highest/Current/Goal

"There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has ANY FAITH in GOD should be ASHAMED to worry about anything whatsoever." Mahatma Gandhi