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How many of you told your employer?


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#21 Bantamweight

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Posted 04 June 2009 - 06:02 PM

I am about 2 weeks away from my surgery, and I have gone with not telling. My boss thinks I have some other issue and is ok with that. I only work with 3 other people, but I live in a small town and my job is pretty visible here.
I am calling it a NUNYO surgery, as in NUN YO BIZNIZZ
Everyone I know has seen me run up and down the scale, I just figured I would let them think I finally found a diet that works. Since I am going to be out of work a while, I will tell them I was on a dr's orders weight loss plan. I am not lying. We do get meal plans and reccomendations, right?
I am 2 weeks away!
START weight 251: Surgery date June 19, 2009.
1 week out of surgery 235
3 months 204
1DERLAND!~ OCT 1!
60 lbs GONE!!! 10-27-09
70 lbs GONE! 12-18-09 (6 months)
80 lbs gone 2-15-10--- slowing down, but still losing.:)
90 lbs!! 5/26/10
100 LBS FINALLY GONE!!! 9/16/2010:D

#22 cami'smom

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Posted 04 June 2009 - 07:29 PM

I am worried that I will get fired too. I work less than part-time, 2 days per week and I could be disposable. Any tips on getting disability?
Kt

#23 possum

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 05:26 PM

Hi,

I am going to have the surgery next month.
I have sworn my children and husband to secrecy!

I really don't want to tell ANYONE else because I know how people think
and I don't really think it is anyone elses business. I have already joined a gym and started to firm up so they will probably put it down to that.

But is it CRAZY not to tell ANYONE?? I really don't want to - but is the SECRECY madness?

Any thoughts??

#24 cami'smom

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 06:57 PM

I have done it-not told anyone- for the last 7 yrs, about my lap-band. And thank God that I did that because of all the complications I have had and subsequent surgeries! It would have been a great big "I told you so", especially with my family. I am not telling my family about my upcoming gastric bypass, but plan to maybe tell them someday, as they are all obese and struggle with weight issues. We'll see. All my friends and co-workers know about my upcoming surg (but not about my existing lap band), and even they have made some comments I did not like, such as "why would u do that to yourself" or "go on weight watchers" or "is this really necessary" one person even told me that if I would just stop going to the doctor, I would not have health problems! (such as diabetes, shoulder surgery, migraines, ect)! Too funny! So anyways, NO, I do NOT think it's crazy. It's purely a personal choice. Your family will get used to keeping quiet and soon you will not discuss it anymore really.
Kt :)
Unsuccessful Converstion of 7 yr old Slipped Lap Band to RNY on 6/30/09
May be getting the Gastric Sleeve in 3-4 months

More than ready for my NEW life to begin!!
highest/current/goal
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height= 5'4
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#25 FatButNotHappy

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 06:58 PM

Hi. I am not telling anyone at work either. I did tell one person. We are the two newest employees there and started about the same time. I told her that I was "looking into it" and she asked me to bring her info too. I was stoked that I may have someone to do this with. Sadly (for me, not her) she wasnt fat enough (which bums me out mostly because I THOUGHT she was bigger than me--but, I admit I have a bit of reverse-anorexia.) I have not mentioned it to anyone else except my husband, mom and mother-in-law. My two little kids know but not my oldest who doesnt live with me.

I do not want to tell anyone at work because everyone I work with eats healthy. They all bring those gross Lean Cuisines in for lunch (or other frozen meals.) They are all small-ish. I always get carry-out or fast food. They are always giving me crap about it, too. "If you would not eat that stuff--you would probably lose weight." "No wonder you don't lose weight....blah blah blah." That sort of thing. That said---since I have known my plan for quite some time--I NEVER complain about not being able to lose weight. I never act like I am trying to and cant. When I am ready--I am going to be going to the gym and riding my bike to work and I am hoping they will just assume I am losing weight because of my new "ways" and I am doing it on my own.

I may change my mind--when and if I get approved for surgery!

Sorry this is so long--i start typing and I cant stop.

Stacie

#26 hexx2003

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Posted 11 June 2009 - 08:11 PM

I wasnt working when i had mine.. but i did inform my new employer during the hiring process. WHY? well i work retail, where sometimes certain clothes are provided.. to wear if you want too.. like logo shirts.. smocks.. so on. Also, i did it to not raise alarm to my weight loss. I was a manager with another retail place and we had an associate drop a ton of weight and get sick because of stress. So i did it for that reason. It has never been held against me.. only praised.
Heather
Surgery date 01/13/2009
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#27 possum

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 01:30 AM

Thanks girls, I appreciate your responses!

I guess the whole thing about being overweight is filled with an element of shame like (why can't you just STOP eating? why can't you just EXERCISE) and you feel a bit of a tool for not being able to.

So to ADMIT that you had to resort to surgery - well I feel a bit lame. But on the other hand, I can see from all my research and reading on the 'net and this forum, that it isn't going to be a walk in the park either.

My husband is against it (anybody else had that issue?)

Well, I will stick around and let you know when I go under the knife. Nothing ventured nothing gained (or lost for that matter) I say.

h

#28 DollyGirl

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Posted 12 June 2009 - 05:37 AM

Ok this is probably a silly question but isn't your surgery covered under your state disability insurance? If your doctor requires you to be off for a specific amount of time (mine says 4-6 wks) your disability insurance should cover your being out which would mean you need to have your employer in the loop. I see many people use the word "elective" surgery. Is WSL elective?

#29 Bantamweight

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Posted 14 June 2009 - 05:17 AM

Hi,

I am going to have the surgery next month.
I have sworn my children and husband to secrecy!

I really don't want to tell ANYONE else because I know how people think
and I don't really think it is anyone elses business. I have already joined a gym and started to firm up so they will probably put it down to that.

But is it CRAZY not to tell ANYONE?? I really don't want to - but is the SECRECY madness?

Any thoughts??


Definitley not crazy. If you were having something else done would you broadcast it to the world? NO! Why tell people something that personal! each one of us is individual. some don't mind telling, some do. I am in the camp of "don't ask, don't tell." I called it a "NUNYO" for a reason. just told 2 of my co workers yesterday I was going to be out for some leave, because I am having surgery. I asked them not to play "guess the body parts". I implied it was abdominal, but didn't specify.
START weight 251: Surgery date June 19, 2009.
1 week out of surgery 235
3 months 204
1DERLAND!~ OCT 1!
60 lbs GONE!!! 10-27-09
70 lbs GONE! 12-18-09 (6 months)
80 lbs gone 2-15-10--- slowing down, but still losing.:)
90 lbs!! 5/26/10
100 LBS FINALLY GONE!!! 9/16/2010:D

#30 GTR-Mark

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Posted 14 June 2009 - 08:41 AM

My opinion was I'd rather tell people myself rather than letting them hear it through the grapevine.

-Mark
Lap RNY -03/23/09
2 week pre-op starting weight -371
Day of surgery weight -350
Current weight - 230
Goal weight - 210

#31 possum

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Posted 14 June 2009 - 05:53 PM

Hi,

thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated.

I guess I have thought about it - we live in a smallish town and if I tell ONE person, I might as well tell everyone.

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it:

how do people cope if their partner is ANTI the idea?

Mine thinks it is a bit extreme!

thoughts?

#32 poet_kelly

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 08:38 AM

I think you explain to your partner why you need to do it. A lot of people are not educated about WLS. Also, they may be worried about your safety. My partner's brother told him that 3% of people who have gastric bypass die from the surgery. Can you imagine? He was really upset when he heard that. I had to explain that it wasn't true. Taking your partner with you to doctors appointment might help, as well.

Kelly
RNY 11/4/08

surgery/current/goal
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#33 poet_kelly

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Posted 15 June 2009 - 08:42 AM

Ok this is probably a silly question but isn't your surgery covered under your state disability insurance? If your doctor requires you to be off for a specific amount of time (mine says 4-6 wks) your disability insurance should cover your being out which would mean you need to have your employer in the loop. I see many people use the word "elective" surgery. Is WSL elective?

Not all states have state disability insurance. Ohio doesn't. And different doctors have different amounts of time they think you should be off work. I know people who have gone back to work in just a week or two.

Kelly
RNY 11/4/08

surgery/current/goal
270/122/140

#34 cami'smom

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 08:54 AM

Tell your partner the mechanics of how it works: such as reducing the size of the stomach, causing malabsorption, and almost entirely getting rid of the hunger hormone ghrelin. Maybe that will help explain why you need it.
Kt :)
Unsuccessful Converstion of 7 yr old Slipped Lap Band to RNY on 6/30/09
May be getting the Gastric Sleeve in 3-4 months

More than ready for my NEW life to begin!!
highest/current/goal
248/231/141
height= 5'4
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#35 Jeweld

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 09:02 PM

Hi,

thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated.

I guess I have thought about it - we live in a smallish town and if I tell ONE person, I might as well tell everyone.

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it:

how do people cope if their partner is ANTI the idea?

Mine thinks it is a bit extreme!

thoughts?


I am in the same situation. I haven't even told my hubby yet because I know he is going to be against it. I am just waiting until I can be strong enough to tell him I am doing it for me and there is no stopping me. I hope he loves me enough to support me, but if not sadly it is a risk I am willing to take - it is just that important to me.
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#36 possum

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 01:58 AM

Hey, thanks so much for all your replies - read with THANKS.

I went to the Surgeon today and I asked him his honest opinion - what surgery would HE have if HE had this weight problem. And his answer - the Sleeve Gastric bypass, rather than the lap band. He said because once it is done it is over, you can still eat the food you want to , you don't have to keep on going for the check up 5-10 times a year - and you lose more weight.

When I told my husband (who is a doctor) he said NO WAY, don't even think about it!!

So I have a bit of opposition there.

:eek:

#37 StarCourtney

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 11:04 AM

My manager and co worker suggested I look into it. I had been talking about it for a while and they were like just go see it wont hurt to go to a seminar. So I did and loved it and decided it was for me. My office was totally stoked for me..no negative from anyone ( I luckily work with a bunch of ladies that are a little older than me so they are all like my moms and a bunch of girls I grew up with) The owner of my company( a small bussiness) use to be a nurse so understood any and all complications to doing it. They were and are all very supportive of me( which as I'm reading am very lucky)
303/276/130

#38 Beth in Texas

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Posted 27 June 2009 - 04:35 PM

You know, I met my surgeon for the first visit yesterday and this was one of the questions she asked me. I told her that I had a great support person, and found this great forum but, I have no plans to discuss with anyone else, including my family.

While I may find myself discussing this at some point with others in my life after the surgery, I believe that because I have finally made this decision for myself--this is the way I wish to pursue.

So, I will have my best friend, and all of you here taking the ride with me--as I hope to do with and for you as well!

--Beth

#39 scrappinlaurie

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Posted 09 July 2009 - 04:23 PM

I too like many of you didn't know if I should tell people or not. I work from home as a remote administrative assistant...for a small company. My boss is in another state so I wasn't sure I needed to tell her. Plus she had cut back my hours to like 1 to 2 hrs. a day. So she called me the other day and said she was having to lay me off and the other girl that was still full time because business was so slow. And she told me I could work through to the end of July. Well that was when I realized I had to tell her since my surgery date is July 21st. She and her sister (who also work for her) didn't really say much. My boss just said ok then why don't you make your last day 7/15. And I said that was fine with me. She would pay me all of my sick time and vacation time.

Now things have totally changed again and she wants me to keep working until the surgery and take what time I need off and then keep working the 1 or 2 hrs. a day when I feel up to it. So I am going to do that....until I recover then I want to go out and work with people. I really thought this working at home thing would be awesome, but it really gets lonely for me. And with two of my three sons going off to college in the fall. i really need to go out and work. I am so happy I will be thinner and able to handle the interviews without being totally embarrassed about my weight.

As far as telling family, I sent everyone an email with all the info. That was a lot easier for me than telling them in person. Some of them sent back emails wishing me luck others didn't reply. It kind of helped me weed out the ones who will be supportive. We are having a family get together the weekend before my surgery so I will have to face them all and see what they really think, but I am going to be fine no matter what they think because I know this is what is right for me!

Highest/Day of Surgery/Current/Goal
262/253/153/160
11/20/09.. Onderland! 7/28/09....100 lbs. goal
07/21/09 DOS-253 08/21/09 23 lbs-230 09/21/09 33 lbs-220 10/21/09 43 lbs-210 11/21/09 56 lbs-197 12/21/09 63 lbs-190
01/21/10 69 lbs-184 02/21/10 77 lbs-176 03/21/10 81lbs-172 04/21/10 86 lbs-167 05/21/10 90 lbs-163 06/21/10 95 lbs-159
07/21/10 99 lbs-154 08/21/10 102 lbs-151 09/21/10 106 lbs-147 10/21/10 110 lbs-143 11/21/10 113 lbs-140 12/21/10 114 lbs-139


#40 ~MsKee~

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Posted 09 July 2009 - 04:55 PM

Luckily I was able to sit down and discuss it with my boss. She is down to earth and the company is family owned. I didnt feel it was necessary to share with alllllllllllllllll my co workers but I did tell my boss. She was very supportive and happy for me. Although she is as thin as they come, she was one of my biggest cheerleaders=)

I believe to each his own. This is normally something that we ( an overweight) person has to battle to achieve because the insurance companies make it so hard to get approved!

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


date of surgery 07.14.09
pre-op weight 296
post-op weight263 (5days)
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