Lynette

How many of you told your employer?

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I told everyone at work. A co-worker had had the surgery a couple months prior to me starting the same program through Kaiser. He didn't tell many people at first and it was obvious what he had done so I went ahead and told everyone. Especially since I was going to have to go to a lot of appointments prior to the surgery and the location is over 2 hours away so it would mean taking a lot of time off and I'm one of the bosses. Everyone was so supportive of me. Plus I knew that they wouldn't be watching every move I made, but it would make me feel more accountable (and I need that). I've now lost 128 pounds and it is very obvious. Almost all of them are still so supportive of me (there are a couple who are very jealous) and they see that it was not the easy way out. They are impressed that I've really stuck with what I am supposed to do, they see me working out, going for walks, and just changing my overall attitude towards food. In fact I have been able to encourage a couple of the other girls who are overweight to start eating healthier and do some exercise.

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Since I don't work, and my volunteering is on hold now cause of other issues I don't have to worry about work or bosses, and now that I have my surgery date I know not to register for school this semester.

I have told my husband, who doesn't think I need it but is completly supportive. One of my friends who has had it (her mom also had it but I didn't tell her) and my husband's ex-wife (LOL...don't look shocked she's a friend and we all hang out together and she babysits for us.) I wasn't gonna tell her but I said something about surgery and she wanted to know if everything was alright and what kind. She was shocked (she is also skinny but always dieting lol) and said I didn't need it and was I sure I wanted to do it (she was worried cause of all the horror stories about wls) so I explained it to her and we have had several talks about it the process and everything.

I have not told anyone else, nor do I plan to at this point. My surgery is set for Aug 24 (1 week and 5 days before my son's 10th birthday and the day after he starts back to school) and after I may or may not tell others I don't know, my mom when she heard my dr refered me to the bariatric clinic to loose weight about lost it and told me not to do surgery I told her I didn't know what all they offered my dr said to go hear them out. She knows I'm on a diet through them and that I've lost weight nothing else.

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I didn't tell anybody, but when I filled out my FMLA papers HR automatically knew. I also made sure that she was not going to tell anyone because it was confidential and no one is not supposed to know anything about my records. I have been confronted by many people at my job phishing for information as to how I am losing all of this weight. I simply say that I am working out and eating right. Honestly, I am telling the truth because that is exactly what I am doing! I just had a procedure that gives me a little more boost! ;)

Shellymae

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I told the world :D Heck, I got my surgery date in the middle of an international conferences, and it was only 2 weeks away, so I told my boss, and my colleagues, and I think, by the end of the conference, probably 5,000 delegates and anyone who'd ever walked by me in the street knew :D

I've only ever had support and interest from all my workmates. I do, however, work for the labour wing of the United Nations, so they have to be seen to be supportive of staff :D

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I work at a banking center with 10 employees (8 women, 2 men). I'm very outgoing and talkative and when I started getting excited about the surgery, I couldn't help but tell my coworkers. Surprisingly, the only person who hasn't been totally supportive is the other heavy girl I work with. We're a little short-staffed so I think some people aren't too excited about the idea that I'm going to be out for a few weeks, but other than that they've been really supportive.

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I am a project manager for a healthcare company and am involved in a lot of large clients and pilots for new clients, I have told my boss and the people internally who will be affected by my absence. This will allow for no surprises and I can plan out their agenda, issue resolution and can work from home.

I am also doing this during Thanksgiving, so things slow down. I consider myself very lucky since I happen to work for one of the best companies and a CEO is very supportive of wellness programs.

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Hello,

I've told the truth to anyone and everyone. They'll figure it out sooner or later or spread rumors that I'm sick or something if they don't know for sure and see me getting thinner and thinner. I don't care what they think. I am doing this for me. It was no secret that I was huge and it's no secret that alot of big people need help to lose weight.

I know opinions... "well, she's taking the easy way out" or "why would she mutilate her insides when she could just stop her eating"... WHATEVER. They can say what they want. I am doing what I need, and I'm proud of myself.

Kristy

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I told no one at work. It is none of their business and never will be.

I see nothing good that would come from people at work knowing, and several bad things. They cannot help, they are not a part of my support network.

People can be very judgmental and to tell unnecessary people invites that.

I didn't even tell my mother.... for that very reason. :)

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I told everyone I work with that I either work closely with, or that has personally asked me. I don't hide who I am in any other part of my life, why start now? Everyone (even the one person who initially said she was sick of people taking the easy way out...turns out she is upset that she would not qualify for it...judy judgmental had a reason) has been super supportive! Even the annoying people constantly asking me how much I have lost so far, has died down and people are now just saying how great I look or how I need to get new pants. LOL I love my job! :)

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I told no one at work. It is none of their business and never will be.

I see nothing good that would come from people at work knowing, and several bad things. They cannot help, they are not a part of my support network.

People can be very judgmental and to tell unnecessary people invites that.

I didn't even tell my mother.... for that very reason. :)

Wow... I thought the exact OPPOSITE. People I work with and see everyday and interact with everyday are a HUGE part of my support network. I told everyone one week before my surgery (my boss about 4 months prior). I work at a deskjob at SAS and everyone was more than willing to help. I have a co-worker that made me a ton of low-fat/low-sugar foods. Another co-worker comes to get me everyday at 3pm for a 2 mile walk. Several co-workers constantly ask what I'm eating this week and how I'm progressing. It really keeps me inspired.

Another reason that I want more people to know is that there's that many more people that will know that I'm a failure if I don't stick to my routine and the weight doesn't come off. It's more pressure on me to keep going hard! I love it!

To each their own, however. I see you were/are very successful. I guess everyone needs their own vices.

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Wow... I thought the exact OPPOSITE. People I work with and see everyday and interact with everyday are a HUGE part of my support network. I told everyone one week before my surgery (my boss about 4 months prior). I work at a deskjob at SAS and everyone was more than willing to help. I have a co-worker that made me a ton of low-fat/low-sugar foods. Another co-worker comes to get me everyday at 3pm for a 2 mile walk. Several co-workers constantly ask what I'm eating this week and how I'm progressing. It really keeps me inspired.

Another reason that I want more people to know is that there's that many more people that will know that I'm a failure if I don't stick to my routine and the weight doesn't come off. It's more pressure on me to keep going hard! I love it!

To each their own, however. I see you were/are very successful. I guess everyone needs their own vices.

This may come as a surprise to a 28 year old, but not everyone at work is your friend. The higher you move in the organization the fewer friends you have. People can see knocking you off politically as an opportunity. Your boss doesn't give you a job because he likes you. He does because you are useful. When you stop being useful to him, you're gone. There is no legal mandate to tell people at work. There is risk in doing so.

I was the CEO, so yes, very very successful. I've also been the 28 year old engineer who thought everyone was my friend.

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Ouch.... Didn't mean to step on any toes. Was just presenting to the community that there are other options.

I always listen to my elders so I will take what you say as a lesson learned. Thanks! Goodbye!

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Ouch.... Didn't mean to step on any toes. Was just presenting to the community that there are other options.

I always listen to my elders so I will take what you say as a lesson learned. Thanks! Goodbye!

I do not see where toes were stepped on. :confused: Don't get that.

My point is that of perspective. It CAN be risky telling people at work. People can have all sorts of reactions, good, bad, neutral. The more people you tell the greater the risk of having someone of influence in your life have a negative reaction.

Like it or not, some people think WLS is cheating and you could move heaven and earth and they will not change their minds.

My opinion anyway.

I hope the "Goodbye!" doesn't mean you are leaving the discussion because someone disagrees with you.

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I do not see where toes were stepped on. :confused: Don't get that.

My point is that of perspective. It CAN be risky telling people at work. People can have all sorts of reactions, good, bad, neutral. The more people you tell the greater the risk of having someone of influence in your life have a negative reaction.

Like it or not, some people think WLS is cheating and you could move heaven and earth and they will not change their minds.

My opinion anyway.

I hope the "Goodbye!" doesn't mean you are leaving the discussion because someone disagrees with you.

I think it can be hard to interpret tone in text. I can see why the poster may have been upset, upon first look your original message does come off as a bit rude. Although, "stepping on your toes" wasnt really the correct analogy to use to express that either. I have been around here long enough though, to realize that sometimes the way something looks when written is not how the original poster meant for it to sound...

Yes... we can all learn from the mistakes and accomplishments of our elders, but we still need to keep in mind that every work situation is different. One person may be on the ground floor in a cubicle trying to work their way up to the corner office, in which case telling everyone in your building may be a bad idea, even if you think everyone there is your friend.

Then there are situations like mine where there are exactly 19 people who work for my company. I have worked 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, with these same 19 people for the past 7 years. I am not jockying for a promotion because there is no such thing in my company. We have project managers, we have detailers, we have project accountants, and we have truck drivers/warehouse personnel. I am a project accountant and there are only two of us. I am not her boss, and she is not mine. We have 1 project manager that kind of operates as everyones "boss" but he is very laid back and we all just pretty much go about doing our work in whatever way works best for us. I told everyone I work with because when you spend more waking hours at work than you do at home during the week- yes... your work "family" can be some of your greatest supporters. I am fortunate that everyone in my office has been awesome. When we have meetings and we order food "on the company" they always ask me what I could eat and make sure there is an option for me. They ask how my doctors appointments go and if I am keeping up with my vitamines etc...

The only bad thing is I am close enough with all of them that they feel free to tell me I am getting too thin. I know they are just trying to look out for me though.

anyway, thats my rant for today. Moral of my rant: decyphering tone within text= difficult :(

I am not sure about the goodbye thing either... maybe they just couldnt think of the appropriate way to end a post???? Personally I like...

::End Transmission::

:)

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I just caution everyone to remember that you can't untell once you've told, so don't ever tell ANYONE unless you are ENTIRELY sure you want them to know b/c they will know forever. Not to mention having to talk about it and give them the play by play everytime you see them. I learned that little lesson w/ my lap band (I didn't tell work people, but told two friends I really wish I hadn't told). I told practically no one about my GBS and I am SO GLAD I didn't.

And having been in the corporate world for 15+ years now, I agree w/ Aviator. You have fewer and fewer friends the more success you have. People are downright predatory once you get to my level, and I'm very far from CEO. I thought that was great advice. And not nasty at all. :)

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Xan - I didn't copy your response into this because is just right up there, a couple of posts away.

Your point is well made. I re-read the text and still fail to see where my response could be considered rude. I will never be rude on TT. Rude is not in my nature. I did "pull rank" on the lad to be sure, and it's really not my intention to beat a dead horse by keeping this thread alive.

The point of the OPs original question was to openly discuss who and what to tell regarding WLS surgery. It is a question that keeps coming up. If you look in my Log Book in the first few pages, I discussed the topic over two years ago.

It is a very important decision - to tell someone about your WLS. So MANY people here have told people they regretted...over and over we've all heard it. As rsw points out (and I have said previously) people can't be "untold" if it's a mistake. You can always clue in someone you trust later. I mean who would you tell about getting canker sores cut off of your hoo hoo?

I think people tell others because they are excited about a positive thing they are doing for themselves, kinda like joining a gym or starting a new diet - especially we fatties (or ex-fatties) and want positive reinforcement. That and some people have this thing that there is no filter between their brain and what they say - whatever is on their mind is on their lips. You know the type. :)

The problem is not everyone wants us to succeed. For some people success for YOU is interpreted as failure for THEM. And they justify it by thinking or saying WLS cheating. It makes them feel better about themselves by dissing YOUR success. Sorry if that bursts any bubbles.

Please be careful who you tell.

Think what you will about me and whether or not you believe I was rude. I believe in full discussion, not "feel good" diatribes. They are just more intellectually stimulating. I make points forcefully sometimes - but always thoughtfully.

I love what Chuck said in another thread about having "skin like leather". So many of we "fatties" have had to take undeserved abuse, smile on the outside and die a little on the inside...we just tend to be a little thin skinned. I think the lad as being a bit that way.

Here on TT, we don't need to be.

( Bunny trail - And is 28 really a "lad"? William Barrett Travis commanding officer of The Alamo wrote the "Victory or Death" letter at age 26 in his defense of The Alamo on Feb 24, 1836. That was 175 years ago today (depending on your time zone). Those heroes became a part of one of the most remarkable acts of heroism in world history. I probably would have advised against it. :P

::END TRANSMISSION:: <-- gotta love that!

Edited by Aviator

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So, to bring this subject up again... for those of you who chose not to tell your co-workers, what was their reaction as you lost significant weight? And, how did you handle lunches? I will not be able to hide what I'm eating, and they'll ask questions. I don't want to be dishonest, and yes, it's none of their business, but...

I have a staff of 8 employees - do I tell them? Do I tell my boss? I liked the phrase someone already used on this thread - you can't untell someone. That's my concern. I'm trying to weigh and measure the ramifications of telling/not telling.

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And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

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Most of the folks I work with know that I am having the surgery and are super supportive :)

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So, to bring this subject up again... for those of you who chose not to tell your co-workers, what was their reaction as you lost significant weight? And, how did you handle lunches? I will not be able to hide what I'm eating, and they'll ask questions. I don't want to be dishonest, and yes, it's none of their business, but...

I have a staff of 8 employees - do I tell them? Do I tell my boss? I liked the phrase someone already used on this thread - you can't untell someone. That's my concern. I'm trying to weigh and measure the ramifications of telling/not telling.

I had the same problem. People notice the small amount of food at lunch. Actually they noticed the large amount of food before too. Don't mention it, and they probably wont either. If they do, just say your dieting, and this is all you need.

My advice is don't tell your boss or co-workers. I mean why do you think they need to know? Let him/her know your having surgery, but it is not necessary to elaborate, and it is illegal for them to press you about it. This is your private business.

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i just wanted to share a little about the job i started a week and a half ago..

its a medical supply wholesales type of place.. I talked about it during one of our GB workouts to the trainer.. told her her how they had a lot of sugarfree products they sell to the diabetics and she wanted to know if she could get special prices to put them in the healthstore at the gym since they dont have any sugar free products.. so i gave her contact info to my boss to see if they could work out something and before i knew it my boss found out I had gotten GB LOL she came over to my station and asked me about it. I never lie about my OP so i told her yes, i had the surgery.. she asked me a ton of questions and I answered all of them.. she was shocked to know how much i lost.. she said she would have never guessed by looking at me that i was so much heavier.. it made me feel great and all but i asked her not to tell the other workers because I am new and i dont want that to be everyone's first impression of me.. and then I told her that now she knows why i wont eat the office pastries etc ..

she's been really supportive, and we even talked about my birthday again around lunch and i told them i would make them sugar free deserts and she was excited about it and its going good so far.. My boss is the onlyone that knows now but she's being great and I guess with time, the rest wil keep pressing me on why i eat so little. So far I my answer is that i'm trying to loose weight.. wonder how long that will hold

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I flat out told and I mainly told because my boss actually brought up her friend's WLS and was discussing it with me. I had been going through the program at the med center, going through the steps and hadn't said a word to her until that point. I work part-time so I do not get paid time off, I do not get FMLA, nothing..so for me to get the time off I need (it looks like 6 wks because I do lots of heavy lifting at my student tech lab job) I had to tell, there was no way I couldn't. She wouldn't approve it otherwise and I would have probably been termed. When she mentioned her friend's lap-band surgery and was discussing the Opti-fast diet she herself was going to be going on, I took that was my window of opportunity to be open with her. She was been one of the most supportive people out there, all of my co-workers have. My environment is a little different- I work in a small lab that is branched off from the main medical center, I only work specifically with 3 histotechs (staggered throughout my shift) and then my boss. We are all incredibly close and they have all been incredibly supportive. I do agree, not everyone will be your own little cheerleader-- I haven't specifically told or talked about it with two of the people I work with because I'm not really on that level with them. I know they do know about it because they are aware I will be out soon for a period of weeks but they don't know the details specifically from me. I feel most comfortable with my co-workers and boss knowing because that is the type of relationship we have, they have done everything in their power to see me succeed in my career and education and they are also rooting for me with my weight loss. I feel very lucky. I am more than sure it is not always this way and I have read so many horror stories about this! I guess the best thing is to gauge it, if you can get away with not telling and feel it's best for you then don't. But if you have such accepting people like I do, I would tell..it's nice to have extra support outside of family and friends.

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I wound up telling everyone at work and everyone has been really supportive. Everyone has texted and emailed me since going on leave, my HR Dept even sent me flowers and called my mom at work to check up on me. The support has been great.

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People at work know I have SLE and other health problems, so when I said I needed time off to have surgery, no-one senior asked what the operation was. Some of my colleagues asked, but mostly from the perspective of being concerned about me, and wanting to know if they could help - I reassured them that I'd be OK, it was a laparoscopic procedure and I'd be back on my feet in no time, and they were happy with that.

I have the advantage of doing four-month rotating placements, so by the time the weight really starts to drop off, I'll be working at a different hospital for a different team, and I'll be able to tell people what the op was, without them feeling 'cheated' that I had time off for a not-immediately-lifesaving* operation.

*I believe that without this surgery, I will eat myself into an early grave - my friends at uni used to joke that I'll have a stroke when I'm 30 and be eaten by my cats before I'm dead. With friends like that, who needs enemies?? However, it makes little difference whether I have the op now, or in four months time, or in eight months time, so I feel like my current boss would want me to postpone surgery until I've rotated out of his service and it becomes someone else's problem.

Re elective surgery: I don't know whether the term is used in the same way in the US, but here, 'elective' surgery just means 'booked in advance.' Surgery is either emergency (patient comes in with ruptured aneurysm, road traffic accident, something like that,) CEPOD (patient comes in acutely unwell, needs an op in the next few days, stays in hospital until they've had the surgery,) or elective (patient gets seen in clinic, theatre slot and hospital bed booked in advance, arranged for them to come in on a given date.) The terms don't really mean that elective surgery is less necessary - most cancer surgeries we do are elective, booked maybe 2 weeks in advance.

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I ended up telling everyone at my job maybe 2 weeks ago. They were talking weightloss and since they think of me as a hardcore dieter they kept asking me for advice on stuff.. and even complementing me on how much weight i was loosing and finally we were sitting during lunch break and one of them asked me - " how much have you lost in total".. and i told her.. (at the time 70 kilos).. And they were all super shocked! So then she asked me "did you do this only dieting?" and i told her "No, i got a lot of help, a dietitian, a few trainers in the gym and a surgery called Gastric Bypass..." They were so chocked.. specially one that had talked bad about the surgery one time saying that the surgery did not work because people that did the surgery would just gain the weight back.. she did not say it that time but another time before (since we work in medical supplies we talk about different medicals conditions all the time and one time the GB subject came up).. anyways i told them all that i will battle my whole life with obesity and never going back to how bad i was. That The best part of the Gastric Bypass was getting my dietitian and learning how to eat healthy... we have talked about it maybe 2 times since then but they're all been pretty supportive about it.

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