Lynette

How many of you told your employer?

140 posts in this topic

Ohhh LaChica, I totally hear you on this one!!

People don't understand that it's not just getting off of your butt to exercise. My weight issue was completely hereditary even when I got off my butt and exercised. I didn't have an overeating issue either...

That guy sounds like a complete tool. I'm here to support you!! :D

Thanks Lady Prime! haha cute Avitar too.. HE JUST WALKED TO MY DESK RIGHT NOW AND ASKED ME THE SAME FREAKIN QUESTION!!!

So I told him.. PLEASE DO NOT ASK IF I'M SURE IF I WANNA DO SOMETHING WITH MYSELF.

and I said it in a very MEAN BITCHY WAY.

I SOOO HOPE HE GOT THE PICTURE.

:confused:

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I pretty much told everyone at work. We are like family, and I knew that the majority would accept my decision one way or another. Our Chief (the head supervisor) had a bypass years ago, I think 15-20 years ago, and he was very supportive.

I guess I'm fortunate - I've got pretty good support at work. I know that someone at work would be there to kick me in the butt if I got off track.

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I pretty much told everyone at work. We are like family, and I knew that the majority would accept my decision one way or another. Our Chief (the head supervisor) had a bypass years ago, I think 15-20 years ago, and he was very supportive.

I guess I'm fortunate - I've got pretty good support at work. I know that someone at work would be there to kick me in the butt if I got off track.

Thats great that your co-workers (family) are there to support you like that.. You must work with a GOOD bunch of people.. I have a couple of ladies that watch me like a Hawk as if they were my older sisters.. and I love them for that.. so I know what you mean how they're like family.

Good! The more support.. the better!

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I am going back on what I initially posted.

I am telling my supervisor that I am having surgery. I am also filling out the disability paperwork ahead of time so I can stay our for like 3 weeks and be paid.

My supervisor and I do the same work, and we rely on each to complete the tasks we have as they come in. this measn we have t coordinate vacations and stuff like that so that we have proper covereage to meet deadlines and to be sure someone is available. If I just go out on disability for a "sponatneous" sugery, I would feel I am screwign him and leaving him high and dry.

So I am tellign him in advance - that I am having a minor Hernia repaired and will be out of work for 3 weeks!

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Not only am I not telling anyone at work, I am planning to straight up lie when people ask (as they inevitably will). I once knew a woman who dropped a bunch of weight from some problems she was having with her stomach (an ulcer maybe?). She was not terribly heavy to begin with, so I am pretty certain she didn't have WLS. My plan is to say something to the effect that I'm having some issues with my stomach and I don't care to share the details. My weight loss will likely be less dramatic than some others on the site as I have 75 lbs to lose, and a few years ago I managed to lose 35 of it on south beach (before gaining it all back of course).

I know that some people will speculate, and that is just fine. Most people's minds just don't go to the surgery, and they don't really care about my weight to begin with, I figure. I too am taking 2 weeks vacation and figuring that I can return my office (my work is all desk and meetings). I know it may be hard, but I managed to get through 2 pregnancies working full time, one of which made me incredibly ill for its entirety, so I figure it can't be too much worse than that.

My bigger concern is that we have so many lunch meetings around my office, and I HATE that my eating becomes a spectacle (as it did w/ the south beach). It's so mortifying to have my diet become so public, only to lose and then gain. I so desperately want to keep this whole thing private!

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I am in the same situation. I haven't even told my hubby yet because I know he is going to be against it. I am just waiting until I can be strong enough to tell him I am doing it for me and there is no stopping me. I hope he loves me enough to support me, but if not sadly it is a risk I am willing to take - it is just that important to me.

I told my husband once I had the surgery date scheduled. I told him I would love for him to agree with the decision, but I know he won't, so all I need from him is to pick up my slack around the house for a couple of weeks (which is not terribly hard b/c we have a nanny who can work extra hours and do a whole lot of what I usually do, and the kids can eat chicken nuggets). He was pretty nasty, asking me if I'm really that lazy and unmotivated that I can't do it myself. I told him I'd take a cab to the hospital and the nanny can pick me up. Well a couple of weeks later he said he can't let me go through that alone and if I really want to go through with it, he will be there with me. Which is nice to hear, but would have been really nice to hear a lot sooner.

Sorry to digress...this is a whole different topic, I know.

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I've been very fortunate in that my husband and mother have been very supportive. I've not told my father yet, but he is likely to keep his opinion more or less to himself and will love me anyway. My kid's aunt had lapband done not long ago and visited her in the hospital. She is totally open about it with her family, and so it seems like not so much of a big deal to them. Just another thing adults do I guess.

As to my coworkers. I'm not sure. Those that 'hang out' with me during the day (not just in meetings, but so that we talk socially) certainly know about my nutritionist appointments and the diet changes and exercise I have been doing. As that will only continue (or get more extreme) after surgery, I don't know if it will be that much more noticable. I haven't decided if I will tell them or not.

I will need to tell my boss and HR, but both will be discrete. I have worked here 10 years without ever taking five consecutive days off, so I figure I'm due! :) They have seen me yo-yo from 287lbs, 155lbs, 306lbs, 181lbs, 384lbs, and no one has ever said a word to me about my weight other than to congratulate me when they noticed it coming off. (Though I do remember telling someone who gave me the hairy eyeball as I ordered pasta that I'd given Atkins up after 13 months.)

I work in an environment with a lot of beautiful young men and women, many of whom have had plastics done (subtle and not-so-much). I'm sure some critics whisper behind their backs, but *shrug* I've always been the cheerleader for folks that take charge to do something that makes them happy. Sure beats hanging out with the folks that are bitter, sad and miserable all the time.

One guy dropped trou (at an off-site happy hour) to show us his surgeon's 'masterpiece'. There was all kinds of wrong in that, but it was too hysterically funny at the time for me (at least) to feel offended! And I honestly appreciated his candor. If it makes him happy, all power to him.

But telling folks I had intestinal surgery isn't a lie and is likely more than enough info for those not in my inner circle (but who ask) to handle. So I don't know yet how I will handle it.

I did talk to my priest about it (before I even told my husband I was thinking about it). He initially told me he needed to pray over the issue before he counseled me. When we talked later he told me that he believed that refusing the blessing that God offered was sinful. I worry about telling my church friends more than my coworkers. My coworkers are used to thinking off the wall, doing crazy things, reinventing themselves. My church friends seem to have a more hard line.

Still my church friends would be the first to offer support if I was having gallbladder surgery or my appendix removed. They would be the sort to come by and tidy up or make sure the lawn got mowed, bring by food for my family. Leaving them out seems wrong too. Would they be less supportive if they considered the surgery elective? I honestly don't know and am a little afraid to find out.

Ugh. I'm conflicted. But it is in my nature to be open and honest and expressive regardless, so I probably will. It wouldn't be the first time people knew more about me than they likely wished too. haha.

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And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

... primarily because it is no one's business but mine. Check out my Log book, in the first few pages for other reasons why I didn't tell. Here, 10 months and 82 lbs later, I still haven't disclosed it.

Av

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I was scheduled and made the mistake of telling my coworkers, who, of course, did not have weight problems. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of flack I got from them. So much that I canceled my surgery and decided to try losing on my own for another year. I lost a whopping 2 lbs yippeee. I rescheduled the surgery, and told noone but my immediate boss. I told him that if the others asked, I was having "female surgery." He said, well you are female and you are having surgery. Good luck and let me know if you need anything! I told some of them that I was having breast implants...which they knew was false since at the time I was a 48DDD. Anyway....fast forward 6 years and 150 lbs less, and I don't regret having the surgery at all. In fact a former coworker called me about a year ago and she decided to have the surgery and told noone but the boss as well since she knew how brutal they were to me. She's doing great as well, I'm happy to say.

I don't know if it's jealousy or envy, or what causes people to change their attitudes towards you, but it does happen. I had this surgery for me...not for people to like me.

I now have a great job and nobody knows I had weight loss surgery. I have been passed over years ago because of my weight, so I 100% agree that some employers are biased against larger people. Sad, but true.

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I only told my employer I had surgery I needed to have done. The day I went into the hospital the Dr. put me in for disability that way I did not burn up all my vacation and left me with sick days.

After losing I told people, some were positive, some were not. But it was the nicest thing I have done for myself.

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I only told my employer I had surgery I needed to have done. The day I went into the hospital the Dr. put me in for disability that way I did not burn up all my vacation and left me with sick days.

After losing I told people, some were positive, some were not. But it was the nicest thing I have done for myself.

Despite me not telling anyone, everyone notices the weight loss, and no one suspects WLS (at least no one tells me)

BTW - I only missed 4 days of work, and Im older than you. Im actually "too young to be this damn old".

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I told everyone at work- kind of wish I had not - I got two girls who said "oh my gosh, I know someone who died doing that" One person was very supportive and another who seemed supportive at first but now that my date is just a couple days away- she makes little comments like " I can't believe you are doing this, why not wait until next year" " What are you going to do if something happens to you" " I just can't wait for the day when you complain for the first time, because I will have no sympathy" " I can't beleive you are doing this to your family" On and on and on. I also have a couple of male co workers, who I know here me talk about it and are pretending they don't understand.... good for them- I can imagine weight is a sticky subject for men to talk about around women...

My boss ( who is also male) has been wonderful- even paying me for the time off.

I am not going to let the little comments made to me at work bother me. I am working half day monday ( have to leave at noon to drink the Mag citrate- don't think I want to stick around work after I drink it:eek:) I know I am going to hear at least a few snide comments- Oh Well, I am too excited to let anyone get me down.

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My husband and best friend are very supportive, but I will not be telling my family about the surgery. My parents and sister are very negative and prone to making rude and offensive comments.

I am also not telling anyone at work, for the same reasons. I am considering just taking a week of vacation time, especially if I get a date before 3.31.10; as I'll have some carryover vacation time which must be used in the first quarter. If I get trouble over taking vacation, I'll use short term disability and just say I'm having 'surgery'. My immediate supervisor knows I've been dealing with multiple health issues, so she'll just assume it's a girlie issue and not press - I hope.

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I told my boss....but then again he's my husband. lol

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I told my Boss and all my team at work.. Why Because we have been together so long... And if any of them don't like it they keep thier mouths shut, and if they talk about me behind my back thats fine they do it now anyway about how fat I am. I had to tell my boss because I am on short term disability and I was not about to rush back just so I can hide it... I am not ashamed of my choice...Why Because it is MY choice...If someone notices how much weight I have lost I would tell them I had RNY, I changed my body and well it is what it is.

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I told pretty much everyone at work. At first I regretted it because I received a very long email from a peer who told me I was going to fail at it, but after my surgery, EVERYONE was so supportive and asked a lot of questions.

I think the more WLS is talked about, the less it becomes a type of social taboo, so I am happy to share with my peers.

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I wasn't going to tell anyone...but then I figured what the heck, and told everyone in my department two weeks before my surgery.

My boss and my co-workers were (and still are) amazingly supportive!

It depends on your work environment...I've worked a couple of places I definitely would not have told anyone...

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I told my husband. He is nervous but supportive.

I told my sister who currently lives with us while my husband is deployed. She was negative at first but quickly became supportive. ( I would be shocked if she doesn't tell our father, and eventually everyone. But oh well.)

I told my two supervising midwives. One is over weight herself and was extremely supportive. And she is the Boss.

The other is thin and a work out nut. And she keeps making little comments to our clients in front of me about how "the only way to stay healthy is to exercise and eat right" Which is correct, but we have been butting heads lately and I know she is directing it towards me. She also keeps telling me now fat she has gotten now that she has put on 10 pounds in the last 6 months because she has been working so hard lately and hasn't had time to go to the gym to run her weekly 25 miles, and 10 classes a week of yoga. She of course is single with no kids to care for! And no life!

I told them because I would need to have time off for my appointments. The hospital is kind of a "take this day or nothing" thing. And some of those days I am working with the midwives. I am always on call. 24/7 365.

In other words. Wish I could have only told my husband and left it at that. But it just wasn't possible.

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You will be successful and you cannot hide your success.

So eventually if you say nothing or imply nothing or tell a lie everyone will see it as just that.

I personally told my boss. He was incredibly supportive.

I sent a memo to all my colleagues and explained what I was doing and why.

They were incredibly supportive.

In many ways, I think they felt they partnered with me in this.

I am down 70 pounds and I would have had to own up to my action eventually. So I am glad I just did it upfront.

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i work in a small branch of a very large company. There are only about 20 people at my branch, and I told them all.

I guess when you work with the same 20 people day in and day out, for years and years- they start to know you as well as your own family.

My boss was awesome about the whole thing. when i had a few complications and had to be out longer that planned- instead of making me fill out all the disability forms he just paid me for the extra time.

everyone I work with , and most of them are men because i work in the construction supply industry(the only reason i bring this up is because someone earlier said they think it is hard for men to breach the weight subject with women) has been awesome. It is like they have been my biggest champions. Everyone tells me constantly how great i am doing, and how great I look. A couple of guys have even told me how strong I am, and how they dont think they could ever go through what I am going through and ow much respect they have for me because of my efforts.

It is really helpful to have such great support both at hom, and at my office. I think it has helped me get though some of the difficulty times thus far.

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I had to tell my employer as I needed sick time for one month. I went through employee health service for clearance. I also told my medical director. On my last day, I informed the clerical and nursing staff, without telling them the type of surgery, as I have many patients.

By telling folks the last day, everything was fine.....

When I returned to work one month later, things were still nice, but as my weight really dropped, folks were curious, shocked and impressed. Overall, things have been fine, while some folks have been out of line.

Almost 2 years later, folks have continued to be interested and complimentary. Some have never commented on my huge weight loss they have been respectful... but observant.

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I did not end up telling anyone at work except for a close friend who I happen to work with. I told my manager I needed to have surgery but was very vague about it. I'm sure he assumes it is female related. So far, only one person has asked me what I've been doing to lose weight, and I answered vaguely saying I will spare her the details of my battle with my weight. Point is, two months out, it's been very easy to keep it a secret. I'm sure someone will speculate eventually, but hopefully I'll be able to be poite but vague with questions directly to my face.

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I work for a law firm - 2 lawyers, 2 assistants (I am one). I am very close with my boss (in a dad/daughter sorta way..nothing romantic!) but I did not tell him. We have had clients in the past have the surgery and die. Ok.. by that I mean at some point after having the surgery they died... but my boss's interpretation of that is the surgery killed them.. He has never done research on it, etc...so I didnt want that 'lecture'.. now that i have dropped 137 lbs in 9 months he says "I cannot believe you have stuck with this diet this long!" and he brags to everyone to 'come see Marie, she has lost so much weight!".. its sweet.. he is 70 yrs old.. he doesnt realize it makes me feel like a zoo animal LOL! :P

I told him I was having my gallbladder removed when I took the time off.. now lets hope I dont have to! LOL Or I'll be BUSTED!

Anyone else who asks, I tell them.. I just dont want to lead someone who is in the shoes I was in (desperate to loose) to think it really is 'easy' to do without the surg...

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I work in Clinical Excellence for a large faith-based hospital system and on my Informatics team alone, I have two physicians and four nurses. Of the team, I have only told my boss, a VP who is an interventional radiologist by training. He is amazingly supportive. I haven't told anyone else because my co-worker's wife has WLS last year and some of the women in the department were being snippy about it. As far as the rest of the team is concerned, I'm not going to tell them until it's done. Everyone here has an opinion and all believe they are medical experts ;-) My procedure is between me and my surgeon. The rest will be told when it's over.

I tried to get qualified last year but it was an excluded service under our health insurance, but effective 7/1/10, it's now covered. I'm guessing the system recognizes the value of the procedure and that's why it's now being covered.

I received my pre-approval from Anthem on 7/10/10 and have the full-day pre-op class on 7/28. At the end of class, I'll get a surgery date that is 2 to 3 weeks after class, so I'm hoping for about 8/9 or 8/10 as my daughter returns to her college campus on 8/17 and it'd be nice to have her home with me for the first week if I have issues.

In the meantime, I'm heading to New York City for a weekend of fun and food :-) Why not have one last splurge??

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I had surgery on 5/3... I am pretty close with my boss so I told her and a few other people I work with. I am not ashamed or embarrassed for what I did and I have no secrets so if someone mentions my weight loss (I've lost 50 lbs) - I'll tell them. They can judge all they want, but it's my life and my business. If it's just a quick...wow you look great... I'll give them a smile and thank you, but if they start questioning how I did it... I tell them.

It's kinda funny because I also changed my hair style so I've had a few folks in the office say - wow, love your new hair style... you look totally different! LOL Guess highlights and a flat iron makes you look 50 lbs lighter! LOL

Everyone's different... you do what makes you feel better... I'm just a very upfront kinda person so I'll don't care who knows... :) When folks say this is the "easy way to lose weight"... they have no idea! LOL

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