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Lynette

How many of you told your employer?

141 posts in this topic

I wasnt working when i had mine.. but i did inform my new employer during the hiring process. WHY? well i work retail, where sometimes certain clothes are provided.. to wear if you want too.. like logo shirts.. smocks.. so on. Also, i did it to not raise alarm to my weight loss. I was a manager with another retail place and we had an associate drop a ton of weight and get sick because of stress. So i did it for that reason. It has never been held against me.. only praised.

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Thanks girls, I appreciate your responses!

I guess the whole thing about being overweight is filled with an element of shame like (why can't you just STOP eating? why can't you just EXERCISE) and you feel a bit of a tool for not being able to.

So to ADMIT that you had to resort to surgery - well I feel a bit lame. But on the other hand, I can see from all my research and reading on the 'net and this forum, that it isn't going to be a walk in the park either.

My husband is against it (anybody else had that issue?)

Well, I will stick around and let you know when I go under the knife. Nothing ventured nothing gained (or lost for that matter) I say.

h

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Ok this is probably a silly question but isn't your surgery covered under your state disability insurance? If your doctor requires you to be off for a specific amount of time (mine says 4-6 wks) your disability insurance should cover your being out which would mean you need to have your employer in the loop. I see many people use the word "elective" surgery. Is WSL elective?

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Hi,

I am going to have the surgery next month.

I have sworn my children and husband to secrecy!

I really don't want to tell ANYONE else because I know how people think

and I don't really think it is anyone elses business. I have already joined a gym and started to firm up so they will probably put it down to that.

But is it CRAZY not to tell ANYONE?? I really don't want to - but is the SECRECY madness?

Any thoughts??

Definitley not crazy. If you were having something else done would you broadcast it to the world? NO! Why tell people something that personal! each one of us is individual. some don't mind telling, some do. I am in the camp of "don't ask, don't tell." I called it a "NUNYO" for a reason. just told 2 of my co workers yesterday I was going to be out for some leave, because I am having surgery. I asked them not to play "guess the body parts". I implied it was abdominal, but didn't specify.

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My opinion was I'd rather tell people myself rather than letting them hear it through the grapevine.

-Mark

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Hi,

thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated.

I guess I have thought about it - we live in a smallish town and if I tell ONE person, I might as well tell everyone.

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it:

how do people cope if their partner is ANTI the idea?

Mine thinks it is a bit extreme!

thoughts?

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I think you explain to your partner why you need to do it. A lot of people are not educated about WLS. Also, they may be worried about your safety. My partner's brother told him that 3% of people who have gastric bypass die from the surgery. Can you imagine? He was really upset when he heard that. I had to explain that it wasn't true. Taking your partner with you to doctors appointment might help, as well.

Kelly

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Ok this is probably a silly question but isn't your surgery covered under your state disability insurance? If your doctor requires you to be off for a specific amount of time (mine says 4-6 wks) your disability insurance should cover your being out which would mean you need to have your employer in the loop. I see many people use the word "elective" surgery. Is WSL elective?

Not all states have state disability insurance. Ohio doesn't. And different doctors have different amounts of time they think you should be off work. I know people who have gone back to work in just a week or two.

Kelly

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Tell your partner the mechanics of how it works: such as reducing the size of the stomach, causing malabsorption, and almost entirely getting rid of the hunger hormone ghrelin. Maybe that will help explain why you need it.

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Hi,

thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated.

I guess I have thought about it - we live in a smallish town and if I tell ONE person, I might as well tell everyone.

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it:

how do people cope if their partner is ANTI the idea?

Mine thinks it is a bit extreme!

thoughts?

I am in the same situation. I haven't even told my hubby yet because I know he is going to be against it. I am just waiting until I can be strong enough to tell him I am doing it for me and there is no stopping me. I hope he loves me enough to support me, but if not sadly it is a risk I am willing to take - it is just that important to me.

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Hey, thanks so much for all your replies - read with THANKS.

I went to the Surgeon today and I asked him his honest opinion - what surgery would HE have if HE had this weight problem. And his answer - the Sleeve Gastric bypass, rather than the lap band. He said because once it is done it is over, you can still eat the food you want to , you don't have to keep on going for the check up 5-10 times a year - and you lose more weight.

When I told my husband (who is a doctor) he said NO WAY, don't even think about it!!

So I have a bit of opposition there.

:eek:

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My manager and co worker suggested I look into it. I had been talking about it for a while and they were like just go see it wont hurt to go to a seminar. So I did and loved it and decided it was for me. My office was totally stoked for me..no negative from anyone ( I luckily work with a bunch of ladies that are a little older than me so they are all like my moms and a bunch of girls I grew up with) The owner of my company( a small bussiness) use to be a nurse so understood any and all complications to doing it. They were and are all very supportive of me( which as I'm reading am very lucky)

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You know, I met my surgeon for the first visit yesterday and this was one of the questions she asked me. I told her that I had a great support person, and found this great forum but, I have no plans to discuss with anyone else, including my family.

While I may find myself discussing this at some point with others in my life after the surgery, I believe that because I have finally made this decision for myself--this is the way I wish to pursue.

So, I will have my best friend, and all of you here taking the ride with me--as I hope to do with and for you as well!

--Beth

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I too like many of you didn't know if I should tell people or not. I work from home as a remote administrative assistant...for a small company. My boss is in another state so I wasn't sure I needed to tell her. Plus she had cut back my hours to like 1 to 2 hrs. a day. So she called me the other day and said she was having to lay me off and the other girl that was still full time because business was so slow. And she told me I could work through to the end of July. Well that was when I realized I had to tell her since my surgery date is July 21st. She and her sister (who also work for her) didn't really say much. My boss just said ok then why don't you make your last day 7/15. And I said that was fine with me. She would pay me all of my sick time and vacation time.

Now things have totally changed again and she wants me to keep working until the surgery and take what time I need off and then keep working the 1 or 2 hrs. a day when I feel up to it. So I am going to do that....until I recover then I want to go out and work with people. I really thought this working at home thing would be awesome, but it really gets lonely for me. And with two of my three sons going off to college in the fall. i really need to go out and work. I am so happy I will be thinner and able to handle the interviews without being totally embarrassed about my weight.

As far as telling family, I sent everyone an email with all the info. That was a lot easier for me than telling them in person. Some of them sent back emails wishing me luck others didn't reply. It kind of helped me weed out the ones who will be supportive. We are having a family get together the weekend before my surgery so I will have to face them all and see what they really think, but I am going to be fine no matter what they think because I know this is what is right for me!

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Luckily I was able to sit down and discuss it with my boss. She is down to earth and the company is family owned. I didnt feel it was necessary to share with alllllllllllllllll my co workers but I did tell my boss. She was very supportive and happy for me. Although she is as thin as they come, she was one of my biggest cheerleaders=)

I believe to each his own. This is normally something that we ( an overweight) person has to battle to achieve because the insurance companies make it so hard to get approved!

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I suppose I am a bit embarrassed that I can't control my eating and it needs to be forced onto me - but on the other hand, I need to admit that I can't control it

Wow, I know EXACTLY how you feel!! I've told my "work husband" (who is also a close friend outside of work) and his wife, my boss's boss (who took me to a seminar about 6 months after she had her surgery), and two friends (a couple), one of whom had surgery 5 years ago (and the other of whom is retired and will be taking me to/from the hospital and checking in on me). Between those 5 people, I have a pretty good support network. Add you all into the mix, and I feel pretty good about it.

As soon as I can, I'll get back to the gym (we have one here at work), so people can see I'm working at it. If they ask me directly, then I'll decided at that time what to tell them. Right now, it's none of their business.

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one not telling anyone!!

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I only told my boss and then two people I respect very much over his head at the corporate level.

I have not told the employees I supervise or anyone else at our business, which employs about 50 people. I've heard the recovery can be an emotional time, and I just didn't want to be answering questions -- especially: So how much weight have you lost. Also: Should you be eating that?

After the initial recovery, I may share. Or I may not.

We'll see.

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outside of my cousin and my wife - I have told no one. I will inform my brother, mother and step father possibly when I have a confirmed date so they can take of if they wish. But I have thought of never telling them also. I plan on telling my boss that I am in the hospital because I was havng difficulty breathing and then I will call the next day before discharge so he knows I stayed overnight, when he asks if everythign is alright I will simply say "the dr. says if I want to live, i need to lose weight." I will take some sick days and come back to work and when asked by coworker friends if everything is alright I will tell them yes and that I need to lose weight and that I am going to be on a dr. monitored and strict supervised diet. So far none of this is a lie and it all will explain my actions for the upcoming weeks turning into months, and as the weight decreases they will account it to being on this diet. We have a gym here at work so I will use it cause I need to and it will strengthen my story. Since my diet is being supervised by a Dr. my folowup visits for teh surgery will already be prebuilt in and when I need to leave early for a Dr. appointment, they will expect it

Edited by TooManyExcuses
read it and realized my ingrish is horrid

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outside of my cousin and my wife - I have told no one. I will inform my brother, mother and step father possibly when I have a confirmed date so they can take of if they wish. But I have thought of never telling them also. I plan on telling my boss that I am in the hospital but that I was havng difficulty breathing and I will call the next day before discharge so he knows I stayed overnight, when he asks if everythign is alright I will simply say "the dr. says if I want to live, i need to lose weight. I will take some sick days and come back to work and when asked by coworker friends if everythign is alright I will tell them yes and that I need to lose weight and that I am going to be on a monitored and strict supervised diet. So far none of this is a lie and it all will explain my actions for the upcoming weeks turning into months, and as the weight decreases they will account it to being on a diet. We have a gym here at work so I will use it cause I need to and it will strengthen my story

I think that is a fabulous plan, and I just might borrow elements from it!

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I think that is a fabulous plan, and I just might borrow elements from it!

I am not telling my boss, his boss, or human resources or disabiity about it. And my kids dont know. They will know I went to the hospital and had some tests run. I am not mentioning surgery cause then I am left with 3 options tell them what the surgery was adn ruin what I dont want to ruin, make up soemthing but that is a lie I would have to keep up or tell them it is none of their business wich I think is teh worse choice. when you dont want to give up the info adn it is not readily noticable, everyone thinks the most disgusting thing they can. I rather them know I had WLS than to think I am having my butthole rerouted thru my peehole so it is easier to wipe. It is human nature to think the worst. I dont want to be looked at like I work at a carnival

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I rather them know I had WLS than to think I am having my butthole rerouted thru my peehole so it is easier to wipe. It is human nature to think the worst. I dont want to be looked at like I work at a carnival

:eek::eek:

:D:D

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I have told my coworkers, boss and just about everyone that I had the surgery and I don't regret it. IMHO, I feel that knowledge is power and if my surgery has helped others to think about getting it for themselves, then I'm all for it.

I've had NOTHING but positive responses regarding this. People tell me that I'm "melting" away..which is fine. For those others who snub their noses at me, I just say "**** 'em"...:eek:

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I told everyone at work. I even announced it on facebook and myspace that I was having the surgery. I am proud of it so why hide it.

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I've told my group here at work... Everyone seems to be supportive about my choice..the only thing... I GET HIGHLY irritated when my Boss stares at me and asks.. Are you sure you wanna go thru with "that" surgery?.. I'M THINKING DUDE.. #%$?! Are you saying that because you're scared something might happen to me, or is it because HES DREADING THE FACT that instead of me doing all the work.. HE'S GONNA HAVE TO DO IT when i'm gone... Either case.. it bugs me.

The only reason why I let him know.. Is because he's gonna have to do my work while I'm out.

other than that - I really didn't have to.. But I swear.. When he says that to me I get OFFENDED.

He says: You don't really need that.. you could do it on your own.

Me: (aahh go Fk urself thinkin this in my head) I don't really wanna explain my life story. So that is that. I'm having surgery I don't want to discuss it with you.

He: Gets offended. with pissy face and walks away.

i tried to explain it to him.. how my whole life i've been the big girl... yadda yadda yadda...

And he just gave me this NIKE commercial speech about how "i can DO IT"..

I'm thinking.. you didn't hear one freakin word you fruckin moron.. why am I wasting time???....

MY WHOLE LIFE- that should've been ENOUGH. lame @*#..

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Ohhh LaChica, I totally hear you on this one!!

People don't understand that it's not just getting off of your butt to exercise. My weight issue was completely hereditary even when I got off my butt and exercised. I didn't have an overeating issue either...

That guy sounds like a complete tool. I'm here to support you!! :D

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