Lynette

How many of you told your employer?

141 posts in this topic

And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

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I told no one at work. If they notice I will tell them I am dieting. Its none of their business and I dont need any negativity either, but thats me.

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I told my boss and a couple guys that I'm friendly with at work. wanted to make sure I was covered in case something went wrong and I had to take more time off or even take FMLA.

didn't make a big production about it and if people bring up my weight loss, I usually just credit it to diet and exercise. the 2 weeks that I took off went largely unnoticed since it was during christmas/new year's.

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I've decided not to tell anyone at work either. I do not think it is any of their business. Can I ask what did you do for your pre - op, 30lbs is very good?

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And I mean before you had the surgery done, how many of you told your work what you were doing?

I think I am the biggest person at my company so along with a Human Resources person who constantly comments on people's looks and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, I put in for 2 weeks of vacation for my surgery since the plan is for lap RNY and implied I was going on a trip. I can't help but feel like I would be thought of in a negative way if I took time off for an elective surgery since it would be a burden to my co-workers. Yes, I am sure it will come out when one day they realize I am shrinking, but I have already lost 30lbs for my pre-op goal with Kaiser and my clothes are really baggy and no one has said a word so who knows? In all honesty, I think it will make me mad when people start noticing I am shrinking like it implies I am disgusting now or something. Is that weird?? Maybe that will change as I lose?

So did you tell your work beforehand? When did they start noticing your loss? If you never told anyone, what did you tell them instead when they noticed your weight loss?

I can relate - my work is a very gossipy place. I have been talking to one person at work that I am thinking about having the surgery as he had it done about three years ago, so he has been a wealth of information. However, I do not plan to tell anyone else - I kind of worry about this since I am close to my boss and he may be hurt if he finds out and I didn't tell him, but I just don't feel comfortable. Like you said I don't want my coworkers to feel burdened because of my elective surgery. Unfortuanately, I know me being out is going to affect the other VP a lot as she will have more work to do, but I think I may by her a thank you card or small gift. It is no ones business. As far as the questions go, I am still not sure how I will handle those - especially from the students - since I work in a school I know there will be lots of questions. Well, let me know what you end up deciding - I know it is a big decision. :confused:

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I work from home as a freelance writer, so I pick and choose my own assignments and it was not a problem to take time off. I told my regular clients I would be having surgery and would not be writing for a few weeks. They didn't ask any questions. It turned out a few weeks after my gastric bypass, I developed severe pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for several weeks and was very sick for about another month after that, so I ended up taking a lot more time off than I had planned. I just let them know I had pneumonia.

I also do volunteer work for the juvenile court, and had to take time off from that. Again, I just said I was having surgery. Two people asked me what kind of surgery, so I told them. One of them said she'd had a friend who'd had WLS and had very good results. The other just said good luck.

I want to add that I didn't really look at it as elective surgery. I mean, it wasn't an emergency surgery or anything like that, but I believe it was medically necessarily. Elective surgery, to me, is like a nose job.

Kelly

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I work from home as a freelance writer, so I pick and choose my own assignments and it was not a problem to take time off. I told my regular clients I would be having surgery and would not be writing for a few weeks. They didn't ask any questions. It turned out a few weeks after my gastric bypass, I developed severe pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for several weeks and was very sick for about another month after that, so I ended up taking a lot more time off than I had planned. I just let them know I had pneumonia.

I also do volunteer work for the juvenile court, and had to take time off from that. Again, I just said I was having surgery. Two people asked me what kind of surgery, so I told them. One of them said she'd had a friend who'd had WLS and had very good results. The other just said good luck.

I want to add that I didn't really look at it as elective surgery. I mean, it wasn't an emergency surgery or anything like that, but I believe it was medically necessarily. Elective surgery, to me, is like a nose job.

Kelly

Kelly,

Good point, you are right - I guess I just always hear them say that "elective surgery" at my doctor's office, but the truth is for many of us the results if we don't do it aren't something I want to think about. Thanks!

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I've decided not to tell anyone at work either. I do not think it is any of their business. Can I ask what did you do for your pre - op, 30lbs is very good?

I have Kaiser and they give you a 1200 calorie diet to follow to help lose your pre-op 10%. I dunno if they really care how you do it though, I just followed it because although I found Atkin's works well for me, I have kids at home so I needed something more balanced so I wasn't doing 2 seperate meals every mealtime :)

Kelly- I totally agree with the elective nose job vs. WLS, it is just something the program has drilled into me: "It is a high-risk elective surgery with a 30% failure rate." :rolleyes

Thanks all for the different perspectives! I do have one co-worker in particular who I think would be kind of hurt that I didn't say anything to her but I also think she wouldn't be able to keep it to herself either. I guess in the end I will just have to see how it plays out.

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I wasn't going to tell them at work...but once I had my surgery date, I went ahead and told my boss and co-workers (and HR, of course). I did wait until I was positive I'd be covered by FMLA (in fact, my surgeon insisted on it because I was such a 'worry-wart' and he said I'd have enough to deal with without worrying whether my job was safe).

I guess I didn't think of it as elective surgery...I had problems with my joints, blood sugar and sleep apnea and felt this was to save my life....

I was only out of work for three weeks, at had my surgery at a 'slow' time for my department--so my co-workers weren't unduly stressed by my absence.

I'm glad I told people at work. My experience so far has been incredibly positive.... and the people that are critical would have been critical any way.....(and being as I don't like them, I don't give a gosh-darn what they think anyway).

Looking back, I'm glad I did tell everyone I was having the surgery...for me it was the right decision.

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I told my boss and my coworkers, and as someone else said, didn't really care what they thought. But I knew that I was going to be losing over 200 lbs and that isn't something that can easily be explained away. There had been another girl there that had been out for several weeks and then lost over a 100 lbs and people just gossiped about it and speculated. I figured it would make it less interesting to gossip about if I told them the facts straight out. I did deliberately wait till our slowest time of year. Everyone I told was very supportive, no one was publicly negative or critical although I'm sure some of them had things to say about "the easy way out" when I wasn't around. I also got LOTS of questions since I was open about it, and I was ok with that because I think that the surgery is misunderstood and a lot of the negative preconceived notions people have are because they don't know facts. So I took the opportunity to educate my coworkers (whether they wanted to be or not - lol!)

GRITS likes this

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I told my boss in December that I was applying for WLS and kept him in the loop the entire approval process time. I told many of my peers. In the hospital, I received a nice plant from my boss's boss. I used 6 sick days with some part time hours the 2nd week.

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Not me.

I'd already let my boss know about my gallbladder surgery, and when I was approved by insurance for the WLS, I decided to do both at once. I didn't say anything about the WLS to him or anyone else.

Of course I had to fill out the interminable FMLA and "short term disability" paperwork to go to the entity that's handling all that now; it's been outsourced to another company. That keeps it a little more private than having to submit my personal medical information to the human resources department.

I don't intend to discuss it with anyone, and if anyone comments on my weight loss, I'll probably just thank them and move on.

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Heck, the UPS guys knows I've had WLS... :o

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Today has been an enlightening day with posts about being naked and being embarassed posts, bat wings and big boobs. I have learned that everyone is different about how they handle their private business (no pun intended). So if you are a private person then tell no one if you are an open person tell everyone. Either way whatever makes you comfortable do that. Otherwise it would be out of character for you.

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I told my boss and co workers. I had nothing but complete support from them. One of them even became my caretaker and went with me to the meetings and everything. Now she wants to get it done and I will be her caretaker. I work from home so my first face to face meeting with my boss and coworkers approx 8 weeks after the surgery they were quite surprised how much I changed in just a short time.

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... I told mine and then they found another reason to fire me. I'm in sales, and the economy was alrady dictating someone had to go. I think my surgery gave them the opportunity to choose me.

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I told my boss first, then coworkers. I see no reason to hide it. People will always talk, whether you are too fat or too skinny. Welcome to reality. lol.

Lemme add: It is very hard to think that your coworkers will believe you lost 100 lbs in 4 months for example, based on "diet and exercise"

Edited by jerseygrl684

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Kelly's right! and thats what i did, i told whomever!

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Lemme add: It is very hard to think that your coworkers will believe you lost 100 lbs in 4 months for example, based on "diet and exercise"

I dunno, I work with all guys and we're pretty much oblivious to everything and anything :P

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I dunno, I work with all guys and we're pretty much oblivious to everything and anything :P

LOL!!! He does have a point there. :P

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I am about 2 weeks away from my surgery, and I have gone with not telling. My boss thinks I have some other issue and is ok with that. I only work with 3 other people, but I live in a small town and my job is pretty visible here.

I am calling it a NUNYO surgery, as in NUN YO BIZNIZZ

Everyone I know has seen me run up and down the scale, I just figured I would let them think I finally found a diet that works. Since I am going to be out of work a while, I will tell them I was on a dr's orders weight loss plan. I am not lying. We do get meal plans and reccomendations, right?

I am 2 weeks away!

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I am worried that I will get fired too. I work less than part-time, 2 days per week and I could be disposable. Any tips on getting disability?

Kt

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Hi,

I am going to have the surgery next month.

I have sworn my children and husband to secrecy!

I really don't want to tell ANYONE else because I know how people think

and I don't really think it is anyone elses business. I have already joined a gym and started to firm up so they will probably put it down to that.

But is it CRAZY not to tell ANYONE?? I really don't want to - but is the SECRECY madness?

Any thoughts??

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I have done it-not told anyone- for the last 7 yrs, about my lap-band. And thank God that I did that because of all the complications I have had and subsequent surgeries! It would have been a great big "I told you so", especially with my family. I am not telling my family about my upcoming gastric bypass, but plan to maybe tell them someday, as they are all obese and struggle with weight issues. We'll see. All my friends and co-workers know about my upcoming surg (but not about my existing lap band), and even they have made some comments I did not like, such as "why would u do that to yourself" or "go on weight watchers" or "is this really necessary" one person even told me that if I would just stop going to the doctor, I would not have health problems! (such as diabetes, shoulder surgery, migraines, ect)! Too funny! So anyways, NO, I do NOT think it's crazy. It's purely a personal choice. Your family will get used to keeping quiet and soon you will not discuss it anymore really.

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Hi. I am not telling anyone at work either. I did tell one person. We are the two newest employees there and started about the same time. I told her that I was "looking into it" and she asked me to bring her info too. I was stoked that I may have someone to do this with. Sadly (for me, not her) she wasnt fat enough (which bums me out mostly because I THOUGHT she was bigger than me--but, I admit I have a bit of reverse-anorexia.) I have not mentioned it to anyone else except my husband, mom and mother-in-law. My two little kids know but not my oldest who doesnt live with me.

I do not want to tell anyone at work because everyone I work with eats healthy. They all bring those gross Lean Cuisines in for lunch (or other frozen meals.) They are all small-ish. I always get carry-out or fast food. They are always giving me crap about it, too. "If you would not eat that stuff--you would probably lose weight." "No wonder you don't lose weight....blah blah blah." That sort of thing. That said---since I have known my plan for quite some time--I NEVER complain about not being able to lose weight. I never act like I am trying to and cant. When I am ready--I am going to be going to the gym and riding my bike to work and I am hoping they will just assume I am losing weight because of my new "ways" and I am doing it on my own.

I may change my mind--when and if I get approved for surgery!

Sorry this is so long--i start typing and I cant stop.

Stacie

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