Kio

UGH.

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So tomorrow I have to go out with my team at work - we're going to Legal Sea Food.  I wasn't much worried about this until I realized my Work Nemesis is actually planning to attend!  She kept hitting "tentative" on the invite, which I assumed meant she didn't feel like driving down from New Hampshire.  But today I learned otherwise.

She's the one person on my team who doesn't know I had WLS.  And we're all teleworkers, so I haven't actually laid eyes on her this year, to the best of my recollection.  And vice versa.  So she'll be seeing 104 lbs less of me and a new haircut and less rosacea and god only knows what horribly tacky thing she'll think to say by way of a compliment.  (Her compliments are like a passive aggressive art form, they could be hung up in the Louvre.)

Anyway, that means I am going to have to find some way to respond to what will boil down to "You look so much less terrible than you used to!  Are you sick?"  or something along those lines.  AND I'm going to have to eat in front of her.  The main eating challenge is that I'm not really able to keep down anything solid (or sometimes thick liquids) lately so I'm probably going to order the lobster bisque and sip it through the meal.  Not that I'm complaining about Legals' lobster bisque, it's great.  But I might have been more adventurous on my boss's dime without Work Nemesis taking notes on my eating habits from across the table. She's sure to ask about what I eat (she certainly always did BEFORE) so I'll have to think of a reason I'm not eating much.

I guess I could just bite the bullet and tell her, but she's DEFINITELY one of those people who will be snide about it - even though she herself just had a failed lap band removed a couple of months ago.  And worse, she'll be snide while pretending to be nice, and I'll have to pretend I don't know she's trying to make me feel bad.

Ugh ugh ugh.  So much for my nice relaxing farewell to my little intern minions!

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My motto in life is if people are talking about you, then your life must be far more interesting than theirs. I know this is easy to say because I’m far removed from the situation but F her! She may be a sour person but don’t let her affect you. Don’t let her take your joy away. Your life is none of her business and you are under no obligation to think twice about her. Order what you want, sit far away from her and enjoy the people around you. :wub:

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47 minutes ago, NerdyLady said:

My motto in life is if people are talking about you, then your life must be far more interesting than theirs. I know this is easy to say because I’m far removed from the situation but F her! She may be a sour person but don’t let her affect you. Don’t let her take your joy away. Your life is none of her business and you are under no obligation to think twice about her. Order what you want, sit far away from her and enjoy the people around you. :wub:

 

I knew that I liked you for a reason ;) Took the words right from my fingertips. HA!

 

Seriously, Kio. Be snide right back to her. You are the one at an advantage. You had the WLS that didn't fail. I am really good with come backs when it comes to dealing with people like this so, I would have fun with it lol

Have confidence in yourself. Do not let her know that she irritates you. Be very sure to smile and laugh often while she is taking notes. "F" her (like my friend, NerdyLady said) and let her wonder is my vote.

Go and have a great time. You deserve it and this person is not worth ruining your good time over.

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Amen, @Readytobeme

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@Readytobeme & @NerdyLady I’m glad you’re on our team. :D Seriously though, you’re the winner and you have power and are in control. I’d say it’s about time she meets the new you and takes a back seat. 

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People like that are really unhappy, so I just feel sorry for them, and they just don't affect me all that much. They're so miserable and lack so many social skills it's just sad. Go enjoy all the people you like and ignore any venom. You have so much to be happy about.

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@Kio 

  • You've succeeded in pulling this off. She has not. Repeat after me (actually all of us): I am a success. I am a success. I am a success. 
  • She is snarky and mean. You're not. (Remember the ancient saying: Character is Fate.). Your fate will be better.
  • If she asks, just say you are on a low calorie, high protein diet, and then ask sympathetically how she is doing or complement her for something or other. She'll find someone else who feels vulnerable to make unhappy. 
  • Or, as we discussed on TTF over the summer, just say things got out of hand, and you have been doing a bit too much crystal meth. :P  Ok, that would potentially make you snarky too... so:  More seriously, as @Gretta says, if you can, just ignore the venom. 

And if you are eating on your boss' dime, get a dozen oysters. They go right down, either chewed or slurped, are full of protein and zinc, and (arguably) are sort of solid. BB has been known to go to Taberna de Haro near Fenway after a victorious Red Sox game in the afternoon and get a dozen of them, and a glass of fino. Makes me feel all jolly and all-is-right-with-the-world... and am hoping they will do the same for you. I mean, what can be bad if you are eating oysters?? :)

My mother had a standard way of handling people who spoke in a mean way. She would laugh and say loudly so everyone could hear, "Wow that was mean!! Does that come naturally or did you have to practice??" ... and invariably they never ever ever said such a thing again. 

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Girl, you hold all the cards here!  YOU are the success, she is the failure.  YOU are down 104 freaking pounds and are rocking a new haircut and she (presumably) is not.  March in there with confidence and enjoy your lunch, whatever you would order if she wasn't there.  You owe her nothing, no explanation, no angst, no nothing!

If she tries one of her uncomplimentary compliments just pretend she is offering a sincere compliment and say in voice oozing sweetness, "Thank you so much, you are just the sweetest thing". :)  Guaranteed to piss her off lol

 

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I hope you are ENJOYING your meal tonight and not sitting across from little ms snide.....and that you are confident, laughing, and enjoying your LOBSTER, not just the bisque, (hopefully you ventured out into some delicious food -- and packed up the rest to bring home!)  You can do this....you can be in charge of this situation and react/say what you want to.  And who cares what SHE thinks!!!  (and I secretly hope you have a great come back to anything she says that we will all get a good laugh over!!! haha!)

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So much great advice in here - you guys totally made me feel like I could go out and own it!  I don't know why this one particular woman gets to me so much, but I didn't let her do it today.  I made sure I was sitting next to the people I really like in my department, and we DID do a ton of laughing.

I told myself - my TT fam has this handled!  I took all the advice, just enjoyed myself and ignored her and when she did try to say one or two awkwardly not-complimentary things, I just stared at her and then looked away and moved on.  I had a great time!

The bisque was wonderful - they had basically pureed the lobster in it, and it was soooo yummy.  I admit that I did break a rule, because I was really afraid I would have to interrupt the meal to go throw up.  I drank water with it, to make sure it kept moving down instead of getting stuck in a wad.  But I was super careful with portions - instead of taking whole spoons of soup I basically just dipped the spoon without picking up any that didn't cling to the spoon.  I probably got through maybe a quarter of a mug-sized serving, and didn't feel very deprived or anything!

I've got a whole post in my head about the trouble I've been having eating, and some work stuff that's going on, but I'm waiting till my 3 month mark to post it.  ;)  I'm OCD that way!

Thanks everyone for chiming in with support and good ideas - it really made me feel like I wasn't facing this alone!

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@Kio you crack me up!  OCD....yep, i feel the same way about things like that too! ha!

Glad you had a great time and that you kept the bisque going! :lol: 

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3 hours ago, Kio said:

So much great advice in here - you guys totally made me feel like I could go out and own it!  I don't know why this one particular woman gets to me so much, but I didn't let her do it today.  I made sure I was sitting next to the people I really like in my department, and we DID do a ton of laughing.

I told myself - my TT fam has this handled!  I took all the advice, just enjoyed myself and ignored her and when she did try to say one or two awkwardly not-complimentary things, I just stared at her and then looked away and moved on.  I had a great time!

The bisque was wonderful - they had basically pureed the lobster in it, and it was soooo yummy.  I admit that I did break a rule, because I was really afraid I would have to interrupt the meal to go throw up.  I drank water with it, to make sure it kept moving down instead of getting stuck in a wad.  But I was super careful with portions - instead of taking whole spoons of soup I basically just dipped the spoon without picking up any that didn't cling to the spoon.  I probably got through maybe a quarter of a mug-sized serving, and didn't feel very deprived or anything!

I've got a whole post in my head about the trouble I've been having eating, and some work stuff that's going on, but I'm  waiting till my 3 month mark to post it.  ;)  I'm OCD that way!

Thanks everyone for chiming in with support and good ideas - it really made me feel like I wasn't facing this alone!

I’m glad you had a good time and didn’t let her toxic attitude bring you down. 

Finding ways to eat can be tricky. Bet you never thought you’d hear those words applied to you! I hope you find a way to find healthy food back into your life. 

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Hooray! Thanks for the follow-up post. I've been so curious. Glad it went well!

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3 hours ago, Kio said:

So much great advice in here - you guys totally made me feel like I could go out and own it!  I don't know why this one particular woman gets to me so much, but I didn't let her do it today.  I made sure I was sitting next to the people I really like in my department, and we DID do a ton of laughing.

I told myself - my TT fam has this handled!  I took all the advice, just enjoyed myself and ignored her and when she did try to say one or two awkwardly not-complimentary things, I just stared at her and then looked away and moved on.  I had a great time!

The bisque was wonderful - they had basically pureed the lobster in it, and it was soooo yummy.  I admit that I did break a rule, because I was really afraid I would have to interrupt the meal to go throw up.  I drank water with it, to make sure it kept moving down instead of getting stuck in a wad.  But I was super careful with portions - instead of taking whole spoons of soup I basically just dipped the spoon without picking up any that didn't cling to the spoon.  I probably got through maybe a quarter of a mug-sized serving, and didn't feel very deprived or anything!

I've got a whole post in my head about the trouble I've been having eating, and some work stuff that's going on, but I'm waiting till my 3 month mark to post it.  ;)  I'm OCD that way!

Thanks everyone for chiming in with support and good ideas - it really made me feel like I wasn't facing this alone!

Glad you had a good time! 

*whisper* I drank water with my dinner last night so I could make sure I could eat it, too. I went out to Indian food with a colleague who's Indian, and she was very pleased to do the ordering, so I decided to have some kulcha (Indian bread sort of like naan) (first bread since January!), and then was worried it would get stuck. With a bit of water, it didn't, but I was also careful not to eat too much...

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So glad it went well! There's an NSV for you!

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