Trish1967

Has anyone heard from Michael_A?

65 posts in this topic

Had to come out of hiding simply to acknowledge this news. You've worked so hard to get your date and finally it's happening. There would be very few people who head to the OR as prepared as you are. A long preparation before surgery, certainly in my case anyway, made surgery a breeze and post surgery a walk in the park. Hopefully you'll find the same with your surgery and recovery.

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On 10/16/2017 at 5:31 PM, NerdyLady said:

I AM ALL CAPS THRILLED FOR YOU!

Honestly, I am as excited as the day I got my own date. You were one of the first people to reach out to me and I will never forget your kindness. Your journey is admirable and I can't wait to see you on the other side! 

There's no blushy-face icon in our forum, and there needs to be!

Thanks, I'm excited too. Also I'm glad I was kind to you , and not snarkey...  :-)

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On 10/17/2017 at 2:37 AM, BurgundyBoy said:

You must be the most over-prepared person on the planet for WLS.

I feel that way :-)   Besides buying airline tickets and booking a hotel, I really have nothing to plan for. I already know what to bring to the hospital (advice that I've seen here, of course), etc. A month from today I should be flying home, and I'll be glad for that day.

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On 10/17/2017 at 4:16 AM, Jen581791 said:

I'm scooching over a bit so there's room on the bench for you.

Thanks Jen!! I'll be happy to take that spot!

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5 hours ago, Aussie H said:

Had to come out of hiding simply to acknowledge this news. You've worked so hard to get your date and finally it's happening. There would be very few people who head to the OR as prepared as you are. A long preparation before surgery, certainly in my case anyway, made surgery a breeze and post surgery a walk in the park. Hopefully you'll find the same with your surgery and recovery.

Oh believe me I have thought about you plenty the last few months!  Every time I started to pity myself as the scale got lower and lower and I'd think "what's the point of having surgery now??", I remembered this friend of mine who lost almost all her goal weight pre-op!!!

Thanks for the well-wishes. I haven't been caught up on the board lately, and I hope your foot is doing well or improving.

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2 minutes ago, Michael_A said:

Oh believe me I have thought about you plenty the last few months!  Every time I started to pity myself as the scale got lower and lower and I'd think "what's the point of having surgery now??", I remembered this friend of mine who lost almost all her goal weight pre-op!!!

Thanks for the well-wishes. I haven't been caught up on the board lately, and I hope your foot is doing well or improving.

Maintenance is the point Michael. The chance of keeping your weightloss off is almost nil if you don't have the surgery.....as well you know! You've done so well pre-op but believe me when I say the best is yet to come.

The foot is doing pretty well, thanks for asking. Finally had the cast off this week, but still have a very long way to go. At least I now know that the bone graft "took" which was my biggest concern. Unfortunately it is the heel now, where they took the bone to graft from, that is causing all the pain. I'm still mostly immobile for another couple of months because of the risk of a heel fracture, and I suspect it is the immobility that is causing my moodiness at the moment.

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7 hours ago, Michael_A said:

I feel that way :-)   Besides buying airline tickets and booking a hotel, I really have nothing to plan for. I already know what to bring to the hospital (advice that I've seen here, of course), etc. A month from today I should be flying home, and I'll be glad for that day.

@Michael_A

Something that was extremely helpful for me were small packets of broth powder. It dissolves well in hot water and the boxes are tiny. It's easy to warm up some water in in the hotel coffee pot and takes up .00000002% space in your luggage. I stayed in a San Diego hotel the night I was discharged from the hospital and there was an in house Starbucks. I asked for a cup of hot water and it looked like I was drinking coffee.  

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7 hours ago, Michael_A said:

Oh believe me I have thought about you plenty the last few months!  Every time I started to pity myself as the scale got lower and lower and I'd think "what's the point of having surgery now??", I remembered this friend of mine who lost almost all her goal weight pre-op!!!

Thanks for the well-wishes. I haven't been caught up on the board lately, and I hope your foot is doing well or improving.

@Michael_A Your updated avatar looks good, can see all the hard work you've put in over the past gazillion months. Your DM must be way better too. Your kids approve, or do they really notice? No idea what he really thinks but my 19 year old has never seen me this thin. I think having a parent change the way you have would be like a change in the season - pretty noticeable but above their pay grade. 

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On 10/16/2017 at 9:13 PM, Michael_A said:

Nov 10 it is :-)

@Michael_A, why not head over to the calendar and put your surgery date on it.  @AustinJ and myself are all going the same week with you! :)

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15 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

@Michael_A Your updated avatar looks good, can see all the hard work you've put in over the past gazillion months. Your DM must be way better too. Your kids approve, or do they really notice? No idea what he really thinks but my 19 year old has never seen me this thin. I think having a parent change the way you have would be like a change in the season - pretty noticeable but above their pay grade. 

Now that you mention it... my kids haven't really noticed. Or if they have, they haven't said anything. My oldest is 13, and she may realize it, but it's been so gradual and she's seen me every day, I don't think it's really obvious to her. Her and my 12 yo son are the only ones really old enough to be conscious of such a change, I think.  When I'm post op, I will definitely be making changes in my clothing styles, and for sure that will probably be noticeable to them.

So, confession time--  I haven't told any of my kids what's going on. Hardly anyone in my life knows I'm pursuing WLS, and I've never felt the need to bring it up with my kids. Not necessarily uncomfortable, but.. I dunno.

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1 hour ago, Michael_A said:

Now that you mention it... my kids haven't really noticed. Or if they have, they haven't said anything. My oldest is 13, and she may realize it, but it's been so gradual and she's seen me every day, I don't think it's really obvious to her. Her and my 12 yo son are the only ones really old enough to be conscious of such a change, I think.  When I'm post op, I will definitely be making changes in my clothing styles, and for sure that will probably be noticeable to them.

So, confession time--  I haven't told any of my kids what's going on. Hardly anyone in my life knows I'm pursuing WLS, and I've never felt the need to bring it up with my kids. Not necessarily uncomfortable, but.. I dunno.

I'm with @BurgundyBoy - your new avatar is great! You can really see how much you've lost :) You're looking good. 

I think early/pre teen kids might have a hard time understanding, so filling them in might not be useful at this point. They're pretty self-centered at that age, so it might even take them a while to notice any change in anything around them that isn't of primary concern to them! Parental clothing style seems to fall into that category, though, so they'll probably notice at that point. They're often embarrassed to talk about personal appearance and/or health topics, as well, so even if they notice... 

They will all certainly benefit from having a dad with more energy and better health, though, whether they consciously notice or not! 

Congrats on all your hard work. You're a star. And you've done all this so far without the surgery, which is truly impressive. You're going to rock this.

Edited by Jen581791
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58 minutes ago, Michael_A said:

Now that you mention it... my kids haven't really noticed. Or if they have, they haven't said anything. My oldest is 13, and she may realize it, but it's been so gradual and she's seen me every day, I don't think it's really obvious to her. Her and my 12 yo son are the only ones really old enough to be conscious of such a change, I think.  When I'm post op, I will definitely be making changes in my clothing styles, and for sure that will probably be noticeable to them.

So, confession time--  I haven't told any of my kids what's going on. Hardly anyone in my life knows I'm pursuing WLS, and I've never felt the need to bring it up with my kids. Not necessarily uncomfortable, but.. I dunno.

My two cents, not based on any studies, is that at some point you will want to tell your kids. These are at least the reasons I can think of. My (only) child was at university when I had my surgery last March, but he was around a fair amount on various weekends (free food, free laundry...) and then over the summer. Nothing hidden from him, a young adult. 

First it will explain the change in your appearance. Second is the change in your eating habits. Not that they will "care" very much about either. :rolleyes:  My son's friends are always welcome in our house, and has I'm sure been asked by his friends how or why I have lost so much weight. Not sure what he has said. Probably said I had some kind of surgery, but maybe I don't rank high and this has not bubbled up. If you are leery of telling your local community, telling your kids might be a good way for others to find out. So I get that. 

Third though is the positive example you set of dealing with an issue and getting it taken care of. For our children to end up as healthy, responsible people who face into problems and not deny them... your good example might help them when they are struggling with something. We can't protect our children from 'the slings and arrows' of struggles in their own lives, but we can give them tools to deal with problems that arise. Moderation, a concern for one's own health, stepping up to the responsibilities one has to one's spouse and children... pretty easy to interpret your weight loss and WLS through those lenses. 

My father gave up smoking, stopped drinking alcohol, and went on anti-depressant medications despite the stigma. He also had to responsibly deal with some very unpleasant financial stuff as well as an impaired and disabled child, one of my sisters. I could always go to him for advice. I respected him all the more, as well as the specifics of what he had to say, because of his struggle and the hard decisions he had made. He had walked the walk. 

This is a really interesting issue and I hope some of the Adults chime in too. 

 

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8 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

My two cents, not based on any studies, is that at some point you will want to tell your kids. These are at least the reasons I can think of. My (only) child was at university when I had my surgery last March, but he was around a fair amount on various weekends (free food, free laundry...) and then over the summer. Nothing hidden from him, a young adult. 

First it will explain the change in your appearance. Second is the change in your eating habits. Not that they will "care" very much about either. :rolleyes:  My son's friends are always welcome in our house, and has I'm sure been asked by his friends how or why I have lost so much weight. Not sure what he has said. Probably said I had some kind of surgery, but maybe I don't rank high and this has not bubbled up. If you are leery of telling your local community, telling your kids might be a good way for others to find out. So I get that. 

Third though is the positive example you set of dealing with an issue and getting it taken care of. For our children to end up as healthy, responsible people who face into problems and not deny them... your good example might help them when they are struggling with something. We can't protect our children from 'the slings and arrows' of struggles in their own lives, but we can give them tools to deal with problems that arise. Moderation, a concern for one's own health, stepping up to the responsibilities one has to one's spouse and children... pretty easy to interpret your weight loss and WLS through those lenses. 

My father gave up smoking, stopped drinking alcohol, and went on anti-depressant medications despite the stigma. He also had to responsibly deal with some very unpleasant financial stuff as well as an impaired and disabled child, one of my sisters. I could always go to him for advice. I respected him all the more, as well as the specifics of what he had to say, because of his struggle and the hard decisions he had made. He had walked the walk. 

This is a really interesting issue and I hope some of the Adults chime in too. 

 

My daughter is too young to understand what I've been through. I do plan to tell her about my struggles with diabetes and weight gains. I've got a long time to do this and I want to think about how to speak about this positively. With much of the pop culture focus on female bodies, I want to present my story in a way that doesn't give her a complex about her physical form. 

I ate healthily as a child and teen. It wasn't until college that I learned about the wonders of binge drinking and tasty American fast foods. My concern is not how we will fed her at home but rather what choices she will make as an adult. I always had a "it can't happen to me" mindset. I once drunkenly said at a party, "I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and boring". Oh college age, Lynda! 

I think I will begin to address my health issues with Katya when she is about 12. I think she'll be in a frame of mind where she will be able to understand concepts of health related illnesses. I tried to explain diabetes to my 6 and 8 year old nieces and I was met with blank stares. My friend's 12 yo understood what I was trying to explain. That's why I chose 12. But what do I know? I'm new at this parenting thing. 

@Michael_A Wow! Your new avatar is stunning. I cannot believe how much weight you have lost on your own. You are a strong and resilient person. I could not be happier for you. 

Edited by NerdyLady
Oops. I was thinking about my kid.
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On 10/16/2017 at 8:13 PM, Michael_A said:

Nov 10 it is :-)

Congratulations Michael.. Won't be much longer now !

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28 minutes ago, NerdyLady said:

I think I will begin to address my health issues with Katya when she is about 12. I think she'll be in a frame of mind where she will be able to understand concepts of health related illnesses. I tried to explain diabetes to my 6 and 8 year old nieces and I was met with blank stares. My friend's 12 yo understood what I was trying to explain. That's why I chose 12. But what do I know? I'm new at this parenting thing. 

My son is 11 yo and understands why I've chosen to have surgery. He is an extremely active youth athlete and has been in really good shape his whole life. Now with adolescence hitting him he has Osgood Slaughters and Severs  disease. Both diseases have to do with rapid bone growth in the legs (3 inches in the last 6 weeks) and it has effected his ability to run and jump and even walk and go upstairs without pain. Since he's a highly physically active kid, both diseases cause extreme pain but do not cause permanent damage. He has started to get a little chubby and understands better now how important eating healthy and exercise really are to a healthy life style. He understands now how easily and quickly he can go from being in really good shape to not being in good shape in short period of time. I feel it's a good lesson for him to learn, and my journey has prepared me to help him with the issues he now faces.

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