LittleStar

Insane work Stress and Don't know how to start

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Hi everyone thank you for all your support I read all the comments on my last post I'm still not sure how to reply to individuals yet. 

Unfortunately I am currently losing my job. After giving years of my life to a company I am being bullied out of it and threatened. I have contacted my Union and things are going forward there. Though even if I do get to keep my job I don't know how I am going to work their with people making my life hell.

So for the past three months this has been happening, I've been eating A LOT. Just so I can cope. But every time I eat something I get a snarky remark of what are you going to do when you get the gastric bypass you won't be able to eat that! At which point I wanna say really I never knew? in a sarcastic way. I get peoples concern. But the whole reason I am getting the bypass is because I have a problem I'm at my biggest. And I don't have any will power atm. 

Saying that after people have been going on I am trying to eat less. Though it feels pointless because with out surgery I know I can't do it on my own. I'm stuck at the beginning. My appointments at the end of October and I don't know if I should start dieting or keep going as I am. It's so hard especially with the stress all I want to do is eat. I look in the mirror see that I am getting bigger and bigger and almost feel like it's too late now. I wish I could get surgery soon that I had a goal something to look forward to. 

Maybe losing my job will be good maybe moving in with in laws would be upsetting losing my flat. But at least I'd have somewhere to recover while having surgery.. I don't know.

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As hard as it is, it is always better to start earlier and lose a bit of weight before surgery. In some cases, your insurance or the program/company you're seeking surgery through may even require it of you. My program also requires some counseling for those that are emotional/stress eaters or binge eaters - even if yours doesn't, it could definitely help you if it's something you're willing to look into. 

As for the haters at work, it's easier said than done, but let it roll. I've been in jobs I hated before with people I hated, and I know how much that impacts your life. But it doesn't have to, and it took me a lot of years to figure that out. I was/am the epitome of someone who can rationalize anything, especially when stressed - I'd code someone at the hospital, CPR, intubation, the whole nine yards. I'd go to lunch after and think "to hell with something healthy, after all that, I deserve a burger." or "I had to take care of a serious stroke case this morning, I'm going to get chicken fingers". The thing is, I'm not actually rewarding myself with that. It didn't make me feel any better about losing a patient. It didn't make trudging back to my unit any easier after. And even now that I'm not working in the hospital, food doesn't make this job any better or worse, either. That doesn't mean it's not still a daily struggle to not hit a drive thru. But understanding - really, truly, understanding that willpower isn't just stopping myself from eating poorly, but rather getting it through my skull that my food choices really mean something - helps a lot. 

The end point is: the food obviously isn't making you feel better about where you work, and it won't help you as you head towards surgery. Everyone here is always here to help if you need it though, and having some support in your life outside of work can help also!

Edited by delilas

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So sorry you're in such a stressful situation.

The sooner you start getting a handle on your food issues, the better you'll feel (so much more easily said than done!). Putting in the effort is a way of showing yourself love, making yourself healthier for the surgery, and making your life easier down the road.

Vent to us whenever you need to.

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21 hours ago, LittleStar said:

Hi everyone thank you for all your support I read all the comments on my last post I'm still not sure how to reply to individuals yet. 

Unfortunately I am currently losing my job. After giving years of my life to a company I am being bullied out of it and threatened. I have contacted my Union and things are going forward there. Though even if I do get to keep my job I don't know how I am going to work their with people making my life hell.

So for the past three months this has been happening, I've been eating A LOT. Just so I can cope. But every time I eat something I get a snarky remark of what are you going to do when you get the gastric bypass you won't be able to eat that! At which point I wanna say really I never knew? in a sarcastic way. I get peoples concern. But the whole reason I am getting the bypass is because I have a problem I'm at my biggest. And I don't have any will power atm. 

Saying that after people have been going on I am trying to eat less. Though it feels pointless because with out surgery I know I can't do it on my own. I'm stuck at the beginning. My appointments at the end of October and I don't know if I should start dieting or keep going as I am. It's so hard especially with the stress all I want to do is eat. I look in the mirror see that I am getting bigger and bigger and almost feel like it's too late now. I wish I could get surgery soon that I had a goal something to look forward to. 

Maybe losing my job will be good maybe moving in with in laws would be upsetting losing my flat. But at least I'd have somewhere to recover while having surgery.. I don't know.

Hi @LittleStar!

If you look at what I just wrote - the @ symbol and then without a space your moniker - this is how you can get someone's attention. If you do the @ symbol and the first few letters of the name, you should get a list of possible matches. Of course if you type in the right name you will get just one match. Click on it and you will get the person. That is what I did here for you. You should have gotten a notice that I quoted you too in the mailbox to the top right part of the site in your browser. You can quote someone, or put their name in using the @ symbol, and both should alert someone.

I would separate the job issue from the eating issue to the extent you can. You are eating for emotional comfort reasons, which most if not all people on this site have done. I certainly have. I have a lot of sympathy for you and this situation. I lost my position at age 40 and had to completely reinvent my career. Of note, I had lost 60 lbs through dieting... and then ate my weight back when I lost my job from the stress. One of the key tools to acquire now is to disassociate stress and eating. When you have lost a lot of weight you are also likely to have a lot more self-confidence, and that will bleed into the rest of your life in lots of positive ways.

Your goal is a healthy life, fit and svelte and totally healthy. You can do this. Weight loss surgery is the only scientifically proven way to reliably lose weight. So YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING now by seeking the surgery. This works for almost everyone.

The science is that carbohydrates - crisps, pasta, etc. - tickle a center in the brain that revolves around dopamine. More carbos = more action in this center = more pleasure. The problem is, it takes more and more to satisfy this response. Scientists actually equate it to cocaine and meth for this kind of increasing need for more to get the same level of satisfaction. So comfort eating with the usual stuff takes more and more food to give you the same level of satisfaction.

Here on the site there are a lot of postings about high protein diets that are ketogenic - fat burning - and they also have as a benefit the suppression of hunger. You also avoid the carbohydrate loop. My two cents is you may wish to consider a bit of dieting where you focus on high protein.

The other thing is that exercise, even modest exercise like walking, triggers a kind of satisfaction - chemicals called endorphins. You can be happier with a little bit of exercise. Plus it is a well proven anti-depressant, and you sound depressed. You can set yourself some very modest goal - 4 times around the block, then 5, then 6... and get satisfaction from it. It's a small goal but attaining any kind of personal goal when you are stressed is super supportive.

Good luck. Post here often. We have your back.

 

 

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thank you @delilas  working in the health sector is probably one of the worst mistakes I made in my life. It is high stress and really brings out the worst in people. The worst part atm is I eat that stuff to make me feel better and it does nothing I just feel worse for it so I'm not even getting the high I used to have. Thank you for you're advice though.

And thank you @BurgundyBoy It is hard losing a job as you know. I've worked hard their 6 years and have nothing to show for it. So maybe a change will be could though getting a job is HARD at the moment. I can't wait to loose weight I do wonder if its worth starting a liquid diet just to prepare myself for it. I don't know it would give me something to focus on. 

I really hope this does work I'm hearing so many horror stories of people gaining it all back. I don't want to be like that. High protein seems insane to me I used to be vegan and everything was carb based they really push the carps and I lost two stone. But gained it all back when I just stop caring and the stress started. I'm vegetarian and don't know how to get protein up. 

 

But thank you to all of you being here for me. It means SO much and I know it takes me a while to reply but I can't even describe to all of you what a difference it makes. 

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@LittleStar! Great to hear from you! and your appointment for later this month is now much closer. Keep posting!

Must agree with your points.  The science around carbohydrates is really in the air right now. Here there are all sorts of sordid stories about how nutrition scientists in the 1960s were swayed by industrial sponsors to favor the idea that fats were bad. It seems clear to me that complex carbohydrates, the ancient grain stuff, are good for you because of the extra nutrients; the fiber; and because they do not boost your blood sugar and insulin levels up quickly. 

Simple carbos, the pasta and white bread carbohydrate, quickly raise you blood sugar, and then your insulin levels. Insulin drives the sugar into cells = > gets converted to fat. So one packs on the weight eating the simple carbs. And because of the brain dopamine circuit it feeds a pleasure center. (In this case, pleasure is not healthy for you). I used to make the most wonderful sourdough whole wheat bread. Since my surgery I've put that on hold. Once I get my weight to where I want it I may revive the sourdough mother and restart... but will need to be careful with how much I eat of it. 

If you do choose to go on a liquid diet before your surgery, get weighed at your GP's surgery so you can document what is going on. Might as well get credit for it if you choose that course, plus it may demonstrate your seriousness. 

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9 hours ago, LittleStar said:

I really hope this does work I'm hearing so many horror stories of people gaining it all back. I don't want to be like that. High protein seems insane to me I used to be vegan and everything was carb based they really push the carps and I lost two stone. But gained it all back when I just stop caring and the stress started. I'm vegetarian and don't know how to get protein up. 

But thank you to all of you being here for me. It means SO much and I know it takes me a while to reply but I can't even describe to all of you what a difference it makes. 

Hi @LittleStar - I'm vegetarian (well, pescatarian since post-op, since it makes it easier to eat at restaurants), so I understand your feelings about protein. I went vegan for a year, so I have a little experience with that, as well. It's not hard to get enough protein eating a vegetarian diet, but you have to do a bit of planning and have sort of a list of your go-to protein foods to eat frequently. Eating in restaurants is a bit hard as a post-op vegetarian because so many veg dishes are carb-based, but I think you can do it, depending on what kind of restaurants you like to go to.

What I did in the month before surgery was go low-carb: no pasta, rice, bread, potatoes, sweets, biscuits, etc, etc. Eggs and cheese for breakfast, salad with some protein (tofu, veggie meat, cheese, eggs, or something) with a little full fat dressing such as oil and vinegar for lunch, and protein plus veg for dinner. If I needed a snack, I had unsweetened greek yogurt, or some cheese, or fruit or vegetables. No alcohol, no fizzy drinks, no sweetener in coffee or tea. I started drinking protein shakes sometimes to get used to it. I tracked everything I ate in MyFitnessPal and kept to around 1200 calories per day. 

In this way, I was able to lose 20 pounds in a month (results not guaranteed!) and also get my body weaned off the carb heavy diet I had been eating. It was hard for the first couple of weeks, but my body got used to it, and I started to have a lot fewer cravings. I'm still eating this way now, but with much smaller portions, of course ;) It was actually pretty good training for how I eat now. 

The giving up feeling - the not caring, and therefore eating with abandon - went away as soon as I had my mind really set on the surgery. As soon as it was really going to happen, I felt this enormous weight lifted off my shoulders, like "Someone is going to help me take care of this problem! They're going to fix me!" It was like night and day. Suddenly, I just could do what I knew I should do. There was sunshine behind that big grey cloud. My life was going to change. 

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13 hours ago, LittleStar said:

And thank you @BurgundyBoy It is hard losing a job as you know. I've worked hard their 6 years and have nothing to show for it. So maybe a change will be could though getting a job is HARD at the moment. I can't wait to loose weight I do wonder if its worth starting a liquid diet just to prepare myself for it. I don't know it would give me something to focus on. 

Losing a job IS hard.  I lost mine for a while.  I lost it in 2009, when the economy tanked, and was unemployed for a year and a half before I found my current (great) job.  During that year and a half though... ugh, it kind of breaks my heart to say it... I probably gained about 100 lbs during that time, and lost about 70% of my mobility.  I was so upset and depressed, that whole time; I ate like THAT was my new job and I did no exercise because why bother.  

I think most of the problem was feeling so bad about myself.  Looking back now, I can see that if I'd had even one thing I could be proud of, I could have turned the weight gain around.  I wish I'd used that time to recover my health with clean eating and exercising - I had so much time to cook and go to the gym!!  But instead I trashed my body, my mobility, AND my self-esteem.  I seriously hated myself for a lot of that time.

I hate to be all "don't be like me..." but don't be like me!  Eating through the pain only adds guilt to the pain -- it doesn't actually relieve it.  You WILL find a new job, and things WILL get better, and your best bet for happiness is keeping yourself healthy while you're waiting for those things to happen.  We are all here to support you when it gets hard!!!

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