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valslosinit

halfway through ins requirement

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Hi all!  I just felt like posting an update....

I'm almost on month 4 of my 6 month preop bullsh.....I mean, medically supervised diet :D.  Lost a couple pounds last month, found them again this month.  Luckily, weight 'loss' isn't a requirement in this 6 month period of nerve-racking, hair pulling, temper tantrum fun-filled stage of my WL journey....sigh.  I have taken some of the advice I was given...to practice chewing slowly and completely (which I totally suck at right now).  I'm actually using MyFitnessPal to track the 1600 cal diet my PCP suggested for me.  Some days I have trouble reaching that and other days I go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over!!!  I went through a short time, when I felt the Hubs was not being supportive of my surgery decision, and I was gonna bag the whole thing because "how selfish am I to upend everyone's life by having this major surgery and how it will affect our finances?  how can I be so selfish when this surgery will put focus on me for a few months, while I adjust?"  Yes....that is what I went through last month.  Then I got mad...at me...at the Hubs....and we had a long, soul bearing talk.  I've been married for 10 yrs, I've opened up to my husband more than to any other individual on this planet....but it was hard for me to share with him my deep, dark 'fat' secrets.....you know the ones....where you are the largest person in a crowded room but people look right through you, as if you're invisible.....where people snicker because of your weight.....where you really have no self control in certain stressful situations and that before you know it ALL of that Cherry Garcia is in your belly before you even realize you took it outta the freezer.  I told him that I wasn't going into this WLS decision lightly.  And I'm sorry, but a big 'eff you' to those people that think this is the easy way out!!!  It is so not!!! (I know not from first hand experience...yet...just from your posts and research I've done)  Okay....sorry about that little rant...The Hubs had no idea I felt this way.  He assured me he was always supportive, just a little scared because this is a major surgery and with what we endured with my gallbladder debacle, his fears are warranted. 

So anyway....I'm back focused....I'm back in school full time and just cut back to working 24 hrs/wk.  If all goes well, I will plan to do the surgery in May when my spring semester is over.  If I lose some more weight during this time, great!  But I'm still getting the surgery....I know me....I want off this lose/gain roller coaster once and for all and WLS WILL work for me!!!  I know it!  I also realized that it's more selfish of me to NOT do this....

and PS...one more eff you....to those people who say "Oh no!  Don't get that surgery...I know someone who died from it....my sister's husband's mother's uncle's newspaper delivery boy's mother....ya know?!!!!! :wacko:

Much love to y'all!! :wub:

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Good to hear from you! Glad you are more sure than ever and that your husband's completely on board.

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Nice to hear from you, Val :) 

A six month pre surgical diet must be really difficult. I was lucky I only had to do two months...until I lost at least 20 pounds. By the time I made it to surgery I had lost 34. If you're not required to actually lose any weight, just work on maintaining, as well as the taking small bites, chewing the heck out of it, and taking 20-30 minutes to finish your meal. Also, if you start practicing not drinking with your meals, that is very helpful. I'm glad your hubby is on board with everything. That helps a lot! Just remember...It's not selfish to do this for yourself!! It's the first step to getting healthy and living a longer, happier life! 

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Well glad you are moving forward. Just to complement what @Trish1967said, I found that when I have gone, as you put it, WAAAAAAY over, I have to use it as a learning tool. Like, what triggered that?? What was the social situation?? Was there an emotional trigger?? and so forth. Helps a lot when you get to having the surgery done. I still struggle with the no drinking of fluid when eating, but it does make a big difference when I do it. I'm travelling right now and eating at hotels and restaurants with colleagues it is not so easy to do, but it can be done. 

The other somewhat amusing thing is that when I went overboard before surgery it was 3000 extra calories of BBQ ribs and beer. Now it is 400 calories of whatever. The magnitude of the Sin is much less, an order of magnitude less, but it still sometimes feels just as big to me. That must be the crazy person I have become after having had my sleeve done. 

People do like to tell horror stories for their effects, even when it is an unlikely outcome. Not terribly useful to hear - what are you going to say?? People also die in car accidents. When you say you are going to drive to the mall or grocery store no one pipes up and says they knew someone who died driving. I did a back of the hand calculation and your chance of dying driving a car in 10 years is about that of the same during WLS. It's a real risk, just not likely, and the small risk of surgery is (on average) far outweighed by the increases in lifespan people will enjoy afterwards. When I had real friends who voiced worries this is how I replied, by giving them a way to grasp what the real risk was. 

Good luck. Will you have any other hoops (endoscopy, sleep apnea study, etc) to jump through after the 6-month supervised diet?

 

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3 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Good luck. Will you have any other hoops (endoscopy, sleep apnea study, etc) to jump through after the 6-month supervised diet?

I meet the surgeon at the end of this month, so not sure what tests he'll require.  I've actually had an endoscopy done in the last 12 months so all I have to do is send the surgeon the report.  One thing my PCP did say, is that since I had my common bile duct severed and repaired to another spot on my intestines, I will have to get a special CT or MRI done to find the exact location b/c the surgeon will want to know where it is exactly.  I do not have issues with sleep apnea but I'm not sure if that's a standard test or not.  I do have asthma, however, but just had a lung test in June and my lungs are good.  Surprisingly, or not lol, my asthma is a result of my GERD.  My GERD is the reason why I'm choosing the RNY not the VSG (if surgeon agrees).  As far as these naysayers....I'm just not going to tell people what I'm doing.  But sometimes, I can't help myself lol so I'm gonna work on that.  I forgot about the not eating/drinking at the same time!!!  So I will definitely be working on that too. 

And I just have to say again, the amount of love and support in this group is phenomenal!!

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Glad to hear that things are underway and that you're tracking, talking to the hubby about your reasons and how to be supportive, and jumping through the hoops. You'll be on the bench before you know it. Well, actually, there's that whole "time crawling by as I'm waiting for something really important" phenomenon, I guess... but it'll get here. 

I had only a short pre-op period (about 5 weeks) because I did self-pay, so I didn't have so many hoops to jump through (lucky me). I tried hard to treat it like training for "after," like you're doing, and I really found that to be helpful. I did the whole low-carb thing as training, too, and that seemed to help me get used to the kinds of things I eat now. Keep up your hard work. It'll be sooooo worth it. 

It's really hard to talk to someone who doesn't understand and tell them about the psychological impact of being fat. After I had surgery, and also after I had lost a fair bit of weight, I told my husband some of the %$#& that floats around in my head about being fat, and he was like "WHAT. You think like that? I had no idea it was that bad." And it's not like I don't talk with him, it's just like I've been protecting him from the ugliness of my inner dialog for the last couple of decades. For his own peace of mind, I guess. Saying goodbye to self-loathing over uncontrolled cravings is the best. I am a calm, disinterested person around food now. I eat how much I need to. I feel like I've been given the gift of sanity around food.

Hang in there. Keep tracking. Keep practicing. 

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My sister and I were discussing just this weekend the concept of WLS being a "selfish" act. She had Lap band surgery 3 years ago and has a checkup next week. When I used the word "selfish", she said it wasn't a selfish surgery rather it is a self-centred surgery. There is a big difference between the two words. We need to be self-centred to focus and achieve the desired results, but that isn't selfish. I have to admit I like having her to bounce stuff off....because I know she understands....she feels the same way. I have very strong suspicions that she'll be discussing revisional surgery at her appointment but she isn't quite ready yet to admit defeat with her lapband, mainly because she still doesn't eat the way she needs to in order to lose her excess weight. WLS definitely isn't the easy way out. The lifestyle changes are critical to success and not everyone makes them. Be a person that does and success will follow. I really focussed on making those changes before surgery. Since surgery it seems foreign to me to eat any differently.

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