CJireh

I think it is time to finally formally introduce myself

19 posts in this topic

(I have been here a while...lurked a bit in July, joined and started posting in August but finally had the time to write out an introduction!)

 

Hello, "losers"!  I could probably copy and paste the same life story most of you have.  Family history of obesity, years of dieting,  yo-yoing for the past 42 years...and I am only 50!!!  

Yes, my first diet was when I was 8...my grandmother (who was probably only a size 16 at her biggest) was going to WW and had just gotten her ears pierced and I wanted mine done.  We were very close and I know she did this lovingly to encourage me, but I cringe at the thought of it now.  She said if I lost 10# she would get my ears pierced.  So, she continued to go to WW, and I am sure my mom (who was probably a size 24 at her biggest when I was growing up and  probably is that now) had something to do with it too, bc afterall she cooked for me.  Anyway, I tried SO hard and lost only 5# and stalled (probably bc a child shouldn't be losing 10# when they are growing!  And seriously, I was "chubby" but not obese...nothing like the kids I see today.  I took the Sears "pretty plus" sizes (nothing pretty about being overweight tho) and my sister who is 2 yrs older took the "slim" sizes (ugh!).  Anyway, my GM felt bad I guess and did take me to get my ears pierced.  I am not sure what that taught me but mostly I think it taught me that I NEVER reach goal weights...EVER!  (so even when my surgeon said I should end up about 170, I still question that).  I remember other diets like eating 3 eggs at all three meals one day (and lots of canned spinach)....and one where you just eat cabbage soup (and that was long before the days of Beano!).  

I am not going to fight it until my dying day.  I hate seeing pics of me and I hate getting out of breath going up stairs.  I don't want/need to be a swimsuit model, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, keep up w/ my grandkids, and not be mortified by pics I'm in. We went  to Williamsburg w/ the grandkids last month and we had passes to Busch Garden and Wild Water Kingdom and yet I didn't want to be in family pics or go swimming because I hate myself in a bathing suit!  What will my grand kids and kids remember of me on our vacation?  Grammy was the one slinking behind the chairs and covering herself with a towel.

 

So to those people who may think I am taking the easy way out; (not you, because you will understand what I am saying)  I have battled this my whole life, have worked out 1000s of hours, lifted 1000s of pounds of weights and yes, probably lost 1000 pounds (the same ones over and over), and have spent probably an obscene amount of money on diets, pills (yes, I did phen-fen and lost 26# that first month! It wasn't covered on my ins so I paid out of pocket), workout tapes and dvds, gym equipment and memberships, fat clothes and fatter clothes...so if THAT was easy, I would hate to see HARD!  Now, letting them cut most of my stomach out, will not be easy and all the dietary requirements and stuff...not easy but in the end neither would fighting this until I died (probably from the obesity complications!!!)....neither is having a heart attack at 55 bc I am so fat, neither is getting cancer because my fat keep sending out too much estrogen....so after all the reasoning, WHAT is the easy way out?  There isn't one, I am just opting to take a reasonable way out and letting the medical profession walk me through it and having the support of people who have gone ahead of me (thanks for being my inspiration!)

 

 

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@CJireh You are so right. 

WLS isn't the easy way out, it is the only proven, reliable, and effective way out of obesity. It is reasonable. And the beauty of it is, if you just follow your Plan you'll do fine. 

I like your attitude about the magnitude of your possible loss. Too many people get hung up on numbers. Most of the benefits of WLS are in the reduction from the very high weights people are at when they start out. Anyone who can cut off those high pounds has succeeded in my book. The risks of obesity are much higher at the higher BMIs. You are smart to set yourself up for success with your own goals. This is all about increasing one's health and satisfaction with life. 

With your positive attitude you might surprise yourself and end up lower than what your surgeon says. The middling ("median" or average) loss is about 60-70% of your excess weight, and about 20% of people lose more than 90% of their excess weight. No doubt your surgeon quoted you something in the 50-80% range. I think the Forum is a good place for people who are willing to open up about themselves and their challenges, and social support (your family, friends and the Forum) is a key ingredient in both achieving loss and in not regaining too much later on. (As is exercise, for what it is worth). So here is to your achieving your OWN goals and hoping the best for you with all the support on hand for you.  

Everyone has their own path. I am hopeful that by being honest with myself, following the Plan my team has given me, and exercising a lot I will eventually explore that >90% zone. While I like the idea of more loss, if I do not lose another ounce I will continue to be happy (at 6 months I'm in the predicted range, 73% excess weight lost). Besides my mother in law is on a campaign for me not to lose more, and she is Perfect, in almost every way. :D

I'm sure some of my capacity to get to my current place is because the Forum has provided me backup, advice, humor, companionship, and the experience of the Adults who are years out, and who Lurk about reading Newbie posts and dropping in like the Greek gods amongst the mortals...

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I can SO relate! Thanks for the formal introduction. Glad you're here.

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Thanks for introducing yourself :) Welcome to the forum. It's nice to be able to engage in some of the discussions after lurking for a while, I know. I really credit most of my post-op sanity to being able to come here to vent, ask questions, think through my own process by replying to others' questions or complaints, etc. So helpful. 

I can identify with many parts of your rollercoaster struggles with weight, and I'm happy to see that you've made peace with the idea of WLS as a tool, rather than as "the easy way out." For me, I feel like it's the ONLY way out. I'm awesome at dieting! Just not at keeping it off - it's hard to keep eating 1200 calories a day forever when your body is screaming at you that it's starving every single moment of the day. I hope that the tool will be what I need to stop that screaming. 

I'm just at the point now where I'm happy to see pictures of myself and I'm not afraid to do things because I feel like I'll have problems (or embarrass myself, most likely) because of my weight. It is such a great feeling. I'm looking forward to hearing updates from you as you move through this process!

 

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Welcome!  Our starting stats are about the same height and weight, so don't let the surgeons team influence when you might end up.  It's all in what you put in your mouth!  

Easy way out?  After dieting most of my life (I started at 4 when the doctor told my skinny mother I was overweight before kindergarten).  Having tried every diet known to man (yes, the cabbage diet, the grapefruit diet) if this is the easy way out of the mess I was in, so be it.  I also didn't tell many people because I didn't want to be judged..my psych told me if anyone tells me this is the easy way out to show them the list of rules I need to live by for the rest of my life and ask if they could do it.  

I wont lie, I actually love clothes shopping!  I wear a 2 or 4.  But it was being off all meds that made this surgery worthwhile!  

I am actually able to play at the playground on slides, and go sledding with the grandkids.  Look at this as a second chance to live.  Surgery only helps you get where your weight should be, it's up to you to keep it there!  Good luck!

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Welcome.  My weight loss surgery allowed me to lose all of my excess weight in less than a year.  Was it easy for me? No, but it also wasn't very hard once I accepted that I would have a new and healthier relationship with food going forward.  Life at goal weight is wonderful, and I look forward to the day that you reach your goal weight, and can experience life as a truly healthy, thin and more active person.

We are here to support you.

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12 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

With your positive attitude you might surprise yourself and end up lower than what your surgeon says. The middling ("median" or average) loss is about 60-70% of your excess weight, and about 20% of people lose more than 90% of their excess weight. No doubt your surgeon quoted you something in the 50-80% range. 

I see from the ppl here that losing more than what the dr said is possible, but I don't want to get hung up on numbers.  Honestly my "real" weight should be 120-130 but I wasn't even that in highschool so it is unreasonable to think I would get there at this age, and really, I am not going for being skinny, just a healthy weight to carry around w/o getting winded,  keeping up w/ my kids and grandkids, and  not pulling at my clothes because they always feel tight.  Besides, it will be exciting when I break through the 170s and go below what my dr said :) 

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@Cheesehead I like that we started out around the same and you've been so successful....I will be calling on you with questions and support!  thanks!

and really, 4 yrs old???  i can so relate!  Was your mom thin?  I always wonder....when ppl put their kids on diets, is it bc they won't want them to become fat like they are or it is bc they are embarrassed to have a fat kid when they are thin?  (Oh and I tried the grapefruit diet when I was a kid since my mom and her sisters were on it...but I didn't last long...I HATE grapefruit so I had to add spoons and spoons of sugar to tolerate it...not suprising I wasn't wildly successful with that one....haha!)

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@Jen581791 Embarrassingly enough, it happened for the first time this year...last month (after I had decided to have the surgery), we were at Busch Gardens and my grandson wanted me on a kids ride with him and he was so excited and my buckle didn't buckle.  I was mortified...I tugged and pulled and adjusted and nothing worked.  it was a slow going around in circles, not off the ground ride so I said to the (skinny) attendant  in a quite voice, as she got to us to check, "mine won't buckle, can I just please stay on with him? And she let me (thank goodness! how could I explain to him "sorry, Micah, Grammy is too fat to ride with you".  the whole time we were going around I was swearing this was my last ride ever until I have lost weight.  so, yes, I will be glad to do things that I couldn't.  I have never not fit, but been close...until this one!  Ugh! Not next summer though! :) 

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6 minutes ago, CJireh said:

@Jen581791 Embarrassingly enough, it happened for the first time this year...last month (after I had decided to have the surgery), we were at Busch Gardens and my grandson wanted me on a kids ride with him and he was so excited and my buckle didn't buckle.  I was mortified...I tugged and pulled and adjusted and nothing worked.  it was a slow going around in circles, not off the ground ride so I said to the (skinny) attendant  in a quite voice, as she got to us to check, "mine won't buckle, can I just please stay on with him? And she let me (thank goodness! how could I explain to him "sorry, Micah, Grammy is too fat to ride with you".  the whole time we were going around I was swearing this was my last ride ever until I have lost weight.  so, yes, I will be glad to do things that I couldn't.  I have never not fit, but been close...until this one!  Ugh! Not next summer though! :) 

We have all experienced something like this, and a wonderful thing about losing a lot of weight is that everything will fit!  :)

I also love that I no longer get hot and sweaty after even mild exercise. 

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7 hours ago, CJireh said:

@Jen581791 Embarrassingly enough, it happened for the first time this year...last month (after I had decided to have the surgery), we were at Busch Gardens and my grandson wanted me on a kids ride with him and he was so excited and my buckle didn't buckle.  I was mortified...I tugged and pulled and adjusted and nothing worked.  it was a slow going around in circles, not off the ground ride so I said to the (skinny) attendant  in a quite voice, as she got to us to check, "mine won't buckle, can I just please stay on with him? And she let me (thank goodness! how could I explain to him "sorry, Micah, Grammy is too fat to ride with you".  the whole time we were going around I was swearing this was my last ride ever until I have lost weight.  so, yes, I will be glad to do things that I couldn't.  I have never not fit, but been close...until this one!  Ugh! Not next summer though! :) 

:( Sorry, I know that's a rough thing to have happen. I was on the *fastest roller coaster in the world* a few years ago and the lap bar thing wouldn't quite close as far as the attendant wanted... no matter how hard I tried to suck in my thighs (yeah, you can't really do that). He let me go on the ride, but I had bruises the next day. I went on it four times that day, so it was apparently worth the pain. Of course, that was a maybe 40 pounds before my high weight... and that's why I avoided amusement parks after that. Sad, because I love them. 

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7 hours ago, CJireh said:

@Cheesehead I like that we started out around the same and you've been so successful....I will be calling on you with questions and support!  thanks!

and really, 4 yrs old???  i can so relate!  Was your mom thin?  I always wonder....when ppl put their kids on diets, is it bc they won't want them to become fat like they are or it is bc they are embarrassed to have a fat kid when they are thin?  (Oh and I tried the grapefruit diet when I was a kid since my mom and her sisters were on it...but I didn't last long...I HATE grapefruit so I had to add spoons and spoons of sugar to tolerate it...not suprising I wasn't wildly successful with that one....haha!)

I'm actually adopted.  But my birth mom looks just like me when I was heavier.  My adopted mom was skinny as a rail.  My doctor thought I was too heavy at 4 years old.  It started me on a cycle of hating to go to the doctor at an early age.  We never had sweets in the house growing up either.  My mom always made meat and potatoes and a veg.  I shot for 160 because I thought it was realistic.  Got there, thought ok I'm done, bought jeans and some tops and continued to lose, oops!  No one gave me a goal weight.  I'm now a scuba diving grandma (something I never could do before because I had too many health problems).   This is my second chance at life, I'm not going to blow it.  

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I had several very embarrassing moments with my grandson last year. Trying to ride on fair rides, go on a hay ride (haunted trail) and riding a very tall water slide with him. Really I laughed then and still laugh about the water slide. He screamed all the way down to let him off. Once we got off he told me that he was afraid we were going to tip over backwards (I was on the back of 2 person float) lol

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I'm glad you finally "introduced" yourself, even though we have had some nice chats already!! I can relate to most of what you've gone through...except the dieting at such a young age. 8 rears old? Wow...that's almost a recipe for disaster.

I never had a weight problem until I was in my early 20's and started binge eating to deal with stress caused by my ex husband. Everything else you described, I can completely relate to. But especially wanting to be more active with my grandson! That is my driving force to keep pushing myself and staying focused and on track. I also have my diabetes in remission, which in and of itself has made this whole WLS worth every minute of what I've gone through to get here.

Pictures...ah, the evil. I would not let anyone take pictures of me unless it was from the chest up. And if anyone snuck one in there, I threatened to put a curse on them if it got posted anywhere on social media!! Hubby took me out for one final lavish dinner for my 50th birthday. After we finished the meal, and they delivered the complimentary chocolate mousse for desert, and they took a picture of us as a birthday souvineir. This was about 6 weeks prior to WLS. All I can say is O M G...I was so disgusted with that photo that I cried all the way home. That made me even more determined than ever to be as successful as possible at this program, and as others have said, it's my last option to get this weight off and keep it off! I plan on posting that photo in a side by side pic once I'm at goal weight. It's going to be really hard, but cathartic. 

The health benefits, in my opinion, far outweigh the risks of staying obese, and any risks there may be from surgery. You will be so happy you did this, trust me on that!! We are so glad you're here, and we've got your back!!

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On 17/09/2017 at 4:21 AM, CJireh said:

I see from the ppl here that losing more than what the dr said is possible, but I don't want to get hung up on numbers.  Honestly my "real" weight should be 120-130 but I wasn't even that in highschool so it is unreasonable to think I would get there at this age, and really, I am not going for being skinny, just a healthy weight to carry around w/o getting winded,  keeping up w/ my kids and grandkids, and  not pulling at my clothes because they always feel tight.  Besides, it will be exciting when I break through the 170s and go below what my dr said :) 

You may well surprise yourself. I didn't think getting into a healthy BMI range would ever be possible for me. I too have been overweight my entire life and even a previous WLS and many great results from previous diets (as in losses greater than 100lbs) never got me below a 29.8 BMI. It is still unbelievable to me to have moved below a 25 BMI. I always assumed I had a large frame, but as the weight has come off I'm realising more and more that my obese family excuses may be just excuses, and that my frame is actually not that large afterall.

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7 hours ago, Aussie H said:

I always assumed I had a large frame, but as the weight has come off I'm realising more and more that my obese family excuses may be just excuses, and that my frame is actually not that large afterall.

Agreed!  I always assumed I was a large framed person simply because my older sister was petite 5' 0", 89#....and since I was 5'4", 141# (in high school when I first saw he chart for small/medium/large frame....so I figured she was small frame and I was large. However, ago ten yrs ago, I realized that ppl with small frames can get their hand around their wrist and I can not only with my middle finger and thumb touching, but overlapping a bit, so there is definitely a small person deep down inside of me! No more excuses of being large framed!!!

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5 minutes ago, CJireh said:

However, ago ten yrs ago, I realized that ppl with small frames can get their hand around their wrist and I can not only with my middle finger and thumb touching, but overlapping a bit, so there is definitely a small person deep down inside of me! No more excuses of being large framed!!!

These days I can get my thumb and little finger to touch. I've never been able to that up until now and in fact there was a time when I couldn't get the thumb and  middle finger even close to touching.

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 @Aussie H    Great for you!  I just tried...I can touch my ring finger, but not near my little finger yet...but by next year for sure! :)

Edited by CJireh
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On 9/16/2017 at 1:11 AM, CJireh said:

(I have been here a while...lurked a bit in July, joined and started posting in August but finally had the time to write out an introduction!)

 

Hello, "losers"!  I could probably copy and paste the same life story most of you have.  Family history of obesity, years of dieting,  yo-yoing for the past 42 years...and I am only 50!!!  

Yes, my first diet was when I was 8...my grandmother (who was probably only a size 16 at her biggest) was going to WW and had just gotten her ears pierced and I wanted mine done.  We were very close and I know she did this lovingly to encourage me, but I cringe at the thought of it now.  She said if I lost 10# she would get my ears pierced.  So, she continued to go to WW, and I am sure my mom (who was probably a size 24 at her biggest when I was growing up and  probably is that now) had something to do with it too, bc afterall she cooked for me.  Anyway, I tried SO hard and lost only 5# and stalled (probably bc a child shouldn't be losing 10# when they are growing!  And seriously, I was "chubby" but not obese...nothing like the kids I see today.  I took the Sears "pretty plus" sizes (nothing pretty about being overweight tho) and my sister who is 2 yrs older took the "slim" sizes (ugh!).  Anyway, my GM felt bad I guess and did take me to get my ears pierced.  I am not sure what that taught me but mostly I think it taught me that I NEVER reach goal weights...EVER!  (so even when my surgeon said I should end up about 170, I still question that).  I remember other diets like eating 3 eggs at all three meals one day (and lots of canned spinach)....and one where you just eat cabbage soup (and that was long before the days of Beano!).  

I am not going to fight it until my dying day.  I hate seeing pics of me and I hate getting out of breath going up stairs.  I don't want/need to be a swimsuit model, I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, keep up w/ my grandkids, and not be mortified by pics I'm in. We went  to Williamsburg w/ the grandkids last month and we had passes to Busch Garden and Wild Water Kingdom and yet I didn't want to be in family pics or go swimming because I hate myself in a bathing suit!  What will my grand kids and kids remember of me on our vacation?  Grammy was the one slinking behind the chairs and covering herself with a towel.

 

So to those people who may think I am taking the easy way out; (not you, because you will understand what I am saying)  I have battled this my whole life, have worked out 1000s of hours, lifted 1000s of pounds of weights and yes, probably lost 1000 pounds (the same ones over and over), and have spent probably an obscene amount of money on diets, pills (yes, I did phen-fen and lost 26# that first month! It wasn't covered on my ins so I paid out of pocket), workout tapes and dvds, gym equipment and memberships, fat clothes and fatter clothes...so if THAT was easy, I would hate to see HARD!  Now, letting them cut most of my stomach out, will not be easy and all the dietary requirements and stuff...not easy but in the end neither would fighting this until I died (probably from the obesity complications!!!)....neither is having a heart attack at 55 bc I am so fat, neither is getting cancer because my fat keep sending out too much estrogen....so after all the reasoning, WHAT is the easy way out?  There isn't one, I am just opting to take a reasonable way out and letting the medical profession walk me through it and having the support of people who have gone ahead of me (thanks for being my inspiration!)

 

 

Oh @CJireh! Reading this post made my heart hurt for you. I'm glad that you have decided to ditch the diets and have WLS. 

Making the decision to have WLS is difficult but once you have surgery, you will ask yourself why you waited so long to be healthy and happy. 

I know that there are people out there who think WLS is the easy way out. I was once one of them, because I thought that anything was possible with willpower. Willpower is a great tool, but it can't fight poor metabolism, diabetes or other health ailments. WLS is hard work. We will all have to work to maintain our health for the rest of our lives. The beauty of this hard work is that we get to reclaim our lives. 

I'm happy to get to know you better! 

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