Raddy

Are you sick?

15 posts in this topic

So yesterday, not one but two women asked me if I was sick because I had lost so much weight. The second one added, "You've lost a lot of weight, but your face looks drawn and dull. There's no glow." (How do people even say such things? I wouldn't say this to ANYONE, much less a mere acquaintance.). I was so dumbfounded, I couldn't think of any sarcastic reply at all. I must admit she got to me and I brooded over her comments for the rest of the day. Today I'm more inclined to dismiss her, thankfully. Have you had similar experiences?

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Yep I've definitely heard the same thing from mere acquaintances. I just tell them I'm fine and not to give MY health a second thought.

That said I was told just 5 weeks after surgery to stop losing....by my dietician. Last week I saw my old family doctor who had moved away and he actually told me that he wanted me to start gaining. If it wasn't for a still too big belly, my recent study in the mirror might come to a similar conclusion. I really need to do some toning up. My abdominal muscles have fortunately been getting a workout from my non-weightbearing status the last few weeks, so will be interesting to see what a difference the next couple of months make.

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Sure.

I let this stuff go, the comments like this are all about THEM and their state of mind. If it gets under my skin then the Negative has won. Unless it is my beloved mother in law, who of course is nearly almost perfect.... Except when she fusses at me, when she is crapulous and anxious. Then again it's about her, not me.

Are you lacking Glow because of a lack of exercise, or sun exposure, or anemia? If not... it's just them.

Words like water, off the back of a duck...

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57 minutes ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Sure.

I let this stuff go, the comments like this are all about THEM and their state of mind. If it gets under my skin then the Negative has won. Unless it is my beloved mother in law, who of course is nearly almost perfect.... Except when she fusses at me, when she is crapulous and anxious. Then again it's about her, not me.

Are you lacking Glow because of a lack of exercise, or sun exposure, or anemia? If not... it's just them.

Words like water, off the back of a duck...

Thank you for your wise, reassuring words :)

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1 hour ago, Aussie H said:

I just tell them I'm fine and not to give MY health a second thought.

Good on you!

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Congrats on noticeable weight loss! Don't give her rude, jealous comments another thought.

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Our neighbor asked me this question to which I replied; "Why do I look sick?"  Shut her right up.  

My mother in law who does not know I had WLS always has something to say at my grandchildrens birthday parties (thank God I only see her twice a year).  At my granddaughters party in July told me she thought I should have a piece of cake, after telling me I needed to eat more!  To that I replied I don't need a piece of cake and some here don't need 3 pieces (meaning her).  I've gotten so instead of dumbfounded i stand up for myself.  

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6 minutes ago, Cheesehead said:

Our neighbor asked me this question to which I replied; "Why do I look sick?"  Shut her right up.  

My mother in law who does not know I had WLS always has something to say at my grandchildrens birthday parties (thank God I only see her twice a year).  At my granddaughters party in July told me she thought I should have a piece of cake, after telling me I needed to eat more!  To that I replied I don't need a piece of cake and some here don't need 3 pieces (meaning her).  I've gotten so instead of dumbfounded i stand up for myself.  

This woman is brazen enough to say, "yes, you do" to "Why, do I look sick?"

And good on you for standing up for yourself!

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2 hours ago, Gretta said:

Congrats on noticeable weight loss! Don't give her rude, jealous comments another thought.

Thanks so much Gretta! And yeah, refuse to give her more head space.

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I agree with everyone else - just ignore the foolish statements of others.

I even had a person ask my wife if I had cancer since I had lost so much weight.  She reassured the person that I was fine.

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53 minutes ago, Res Ipsa said:

I agree with everyone else - just ignore the foolish statements of others.

I even had a person ask my wife if I had cancer since I had lost so much weight.  She reassured the person that I was fine.

Yes, it's pretty sound advice! I'll take it :)

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Sure beats someone asking "when are you due?"   I say that from experience....and I promptly went home and threw out the dress that had an empire waist and never bought another...but honestly I can remember it like it was yesterday.....it wasn't like she was asking if I was pg bc it wasn't totally obvious, it was as if it was SO obvious that I must be due soon so she asked when!  Ugh!  So it could be worse, you could look too FAT instead of too THIN! :)  

That being said, I believe it is so rude to ask anyone things about their health!  If it is your BFF, they wouldn't even need to ask you bc you would have told them already...so I don't think anyone should ask.  And I wouldn't ask anyone EVER, so where is people's manners?   I had a coworker that had cancer and was looking not too well and I thought something might be wrong but I figured if she wanted us to know, she'd have told us.  Eventually she started wearing hats/scarves on her head, so then I asked her bc at that time it was obvious and everyone knew and I didn't want to seem uncaring...but I waited until it was obvious.  You don't get bonus points for pointing out illnesses sooner than others....so those ppl need to MIND their own beeswax!!!  (were they strangers or coworkers or neighbors etc?)

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6 minutes ago, CJireh said:

Sure beats someone asking "when are you due?"   I say that from experience....and I promptly went home and threw out the dress that had an empire waist and never bought another...but honestly I can remember it like it was yesterday.....it wasn't like she was asking if I was pg bc it wasn't totally obvious, it was as if it was SO obvious that I must be due soon so she asked when!  Ugh!  So it could be worse, you could look too FAT instead of too THIN! :)  

That being said, I believe it is so rude to ask anyone things about their health!  If it is your BFF, they wouldn't even need to ask you bc you would have told them already...so I don't think anyone should ask.  And I wouldn't ask anyone EVER, so where is people's manners?   I had a coworker that had cancer and was looking not too well and I thought something might be wrong but I figured if she wanted us to know, she'd have told us.  Eventually she started wearing hats/scarves on her head, so then I asked her bc at that time it was obvious and everyone knew and I didn't want to seem uncaring...but I waited until it was obvious.  You don't get bonus points for pointing out illnesses sooner than others....so those ppl need to MIND their own beeswax!!!  (were they strangers or coworkers or neighbors etc?)

She lives in the same apartment block as me, and is just an acquaintance. She's always been one to comment freely on weight (had remarked that I'd put on weight in the past and now this!). Best ignored. I was madder at myself than her for letting her get to me, to be honest. I really should know better!

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That is true, rude ppl will always be rude.  As a fellow human, it is hard not to be affected by a comment like that from any other person...but glad you're in a better mindset today and letting it go.  And you have time now to think of a comeback for next time someone is rude!  Ha!  Something like "on the contrary, I have never been healthier, thank you!" 

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8 hours ago, Raddy said:

She lives in the same apartment block as me, and is just an acquaintance. She's always been one to comment freely on weight (had remarked that I'd put on weight in the past and now this!). Best ignored. I was madder at myself than her for letting her get to me, to be honest. I really should know better!

Someone posted 3 or 4 months ago that when faced with the same question, she replied she had been doing "too much crystal meth." I don't believe she got any more questions. <_<

While nosy people usually get negative points in this kind of exchange, I think it is possible for us to get positive ones with snappy, humorous, gracious, or scandalous replies. 

This can be thought of as a game. 

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