boredstiffcliff

Lack of long time members

32 posts in this topic

I have been looking around this site at topics through the years and have noticed that many members are only here for a year or two and then poof, they are gone. I am new , so am not getting much from a Forum setting/networking. I realize that I am in the "easy" portion or honeymoon period and that the process is working and I am not having difficulty as I am so "new". My question, do most folks realize success after a year or two and no longer need the Forum?  

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I'm been on the forum for over 10 years and I think it's just a case that after a year or so, some members are confident that they have a good understanding of what they need to do and are simply enjoying their life as a slimmer person and no longer have the need for the support this forum offers.

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1 hour ago, cinwa said:

I'm been on the forum for over 10 years and I think it's just a case that after a year or so, some members are confident that they have a good understanding of what they need to do and are simply enjoying their life as a slimmer person and no longer have the need for the support this forum offers.

Cinwa - Thanks, I had a feeling that was the case. Would be interesting to know how many remained successful!

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I'm 2 1/2 years out and I do not spend nearly as much time on here as I did in the beginning, for exactly the reason cinwa suggested...I just don't need the same level of support and information as I did in the beginning.  I still pop in regularly, particularly when I'm needing inspiration, or when something new and glorious has happened that I want to share with people who will understand what it means.  For example, people who haven't been obese don't understand the joy of fitting in an airplane seat because they've never been faced with that humiliation. 

Will I someday leave and not return...perhaps.  Life gets busy and priorities change.  I will always remember how valuable this forum was to my WLS success though, and appreciate the people here for all the input.

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28 minutes ago, msmarymac said:

I'm 2 1/2 years out and I do not spend nearly as much time on here as I did in the beginning, for exactly the reason cinwa suggested...I just don't need the same level of support and information as I did in the beginning.  I still pop in regularly, particularly when I'm needing inspiration, or when something new and glorious has happened that I want to share with people who will understand what it means.  For example, people who haven't been obese don't understand the joy of fitting in an airplane seat because they've never been faced with that humiliation. 

Will I someday leave and not return...perhaps.  Life gets busy and priorities change.  I will always remember how valuable this forum was to my WLS success though, and appreciate the people here for all the input.

I am glad to see you have been here for 2 1/2 years and are doing great. I get your point about people who have never been obese not understanding, it is just very noticeable when you look around the Forum that many long term people have left. That could also be due to the longevity of this board. I hope I did not come across as judging the validity of the board, my initial thought was more of concern that people were moving away from the Forum too early and wondering if they remained successfull. I guess we will never know if someone walks away.

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You didn't come across as judging. It's a valid question - where do people go when they leave TT?

I think there are quite a few of the long-time members that still come here but may not post as often as they used to. For a couple of years I posted daily and then stopped for a while. I'm more back into it now. It ebbs and flows for me. I can think of a handful of frequent posters who started having trouble of one kind or another (weight gain, martial issues, substance abuse problems) and stopped posting. And, I can think of many who been very successful, no longer needed TT and moved on. And, we do have people who stop posting and then come back because something changed in their life and they needed support again. 

 

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Almost 5 years and I still come here everyday. I don't post as often, but I keep up with reading. Life just seems to get busier and busier...

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4 hours ago, boredstiffcliff said:

I am glad to see you have been here for 2 1/2 years and are doing great. I get your point about people who have never been obese not understanding, it is just very noticeable when you look around the Forum that many long term people have left. That could also be due to the longevity of this board. I hope I did not come across as judging the validity of the board, my initial thought was more of concern that people were moving away from the Forum too early and wondering if they remained successfull. I guess we will never know if someone walks away.

Didn't sound judging at all :)

 

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I'm approaching 5 years.  It's my support.  

boredstiffcliff, GAviv and LeeC like this

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I didn't feel judgement from your post more curiosity.  Congratulations to you!  I'm 2 1/4 years out, stay within a few pounds of my goal, and haven't faced complications.   At one point I came here sometimes multiple times a day, but now it's occasionally.  I got a promotion that takes more of my time, play tennis tournaments, do road races and I have just been busier in general.  I enjoy reading posts and am still a little obsessed with the "what are you wearing" and "nsv" threads lol.  If I check nothing else I will check those.  

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23 minutes ago, Raeme said:

 I enjoy reading posts and am still a little obsessed with the "what are you wearing" and "nsv" threads lol.  If I check nothing else I will check those.  

These are my favorite threads!

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11 minutes ago, Stephtay said:

These are my favorite threads!

Same. I've always been more of a lurker than an active poster but I love these threads. At 3 years out, TT is still my main source of support. I have a friend who's in her 6 month diet and considering WLS. She laughs because she they asks me things, I usually start by saying something like "I read on my board one time that..." or "someone on my board once said..."

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Thank you for all of the thoughtful responses! I am new, curious, nervous and I want to succeed. I can see the need to have support and I am not comfortable ( yet) going to a group setting, I know I would feel self conscious even though the room was full of peers. It is hard for me to admit that! I will continue to monitor and ask questions when I have some. Thanks again. 

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13 hours ago, Dunndeal said:

Same. I've always been more of a lurker than an active poster but I love these threads. At 3 years out, TT is still my main source of support. I have a friend who's in her 6 month diet and considering WLS. She laughs because she they asks me things, I usually start by saying something like "I read on my board one time that..." or "someone on my board once said..."

I am guilty of the same! I always say, "on my support board"...

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2 hours ago, GAviv said:

I am guilty of the same! I always say, "on my support board"...

Me too! I say, "in my online support group . . . ." 

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Ebb and flow, for me. I don't feel like I need any support, really, and answering the same questions over and over is something only the saints like Cinwa are able to do!

I feel like I "know" some of the people on here though, so I like checking in, especially the social threads like What are you Wearing and NSV.

Speaking of, I got a suit for the first time in my life and I need to get a decent picture and post it! I have to go to China for business for a couple weeks but I'll try to get that done when I get home. I also had a kidney stone. That sucked. I'll post about that, too.

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1 hour ago, MarktheNerd said:

Ebb and flow, for me. I don't feel like I need any support, really, and answering the same questions over and over is something only the saints like Cinwa are able to do!

I feel like I "know" some of the people on here though, so I like checking in, especially the social threads like What are you Wearing and NSV.

Speaking of, I got a suit for the first time in my life and I need to get a decent picture and post it! I have to go to China for business for a couple weeks but I'll try to get that done when I get home. I also had a kidney stone. That sucked. I'll post about that, too.

Mark there is a very serious deficiency of pictures of post-surgery guys sharply attired. (Lots of buff guys, but sharply dressed... nyeh). Please step up to the plate, no excuses. Having said that I pledge the same. -_-

I've promised myself a tailor-made suit when I'm at Goal or a year from surgery (3/20/17). I had a suit made for me (the only time in my life) in 1989 in Thailand and it both fit better, and lasted longer, than any suit I ever had before or since. No reason not to exult in the pleasures of being smaller, and with a goal like that I can save up the $$$ to afford it.  :)

LeeC, Jen581791, Stephtay and 1 other like this

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1 hour ago, BurgundyBoy said:

there is a very serious deficiency of pictures of post-surgery guys sharply attired

Give me a few months.... ;)

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14 hours ago, BurgundyBoy said:

Mark there is a very serious deficiency of pictures of post-surgery guys sharply attired. (Lots of buff guys, but sharply dressed... nyeh). Please step up to the plate, no excuses. Having said that I pledge the same. -_-

I've promised myself a tailor-made suit when I'm at Goal or a year from surgery (3/20/17). I had a suit made for me (the only time in my life) in 1989 in Thailand and it both fit better, and lasted longer, than any suit I ever had before or since. No reason not to exult in the pleasures of being smaller, and with a goal like that I can save up the $$$ to afford it.  :)

My husband had a few suits, shirts and ties made when we were in Bangkok. Amazing quality and they still look good 11 years later. 

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On 8/16/2017 at 0:23 PM, Stephtay said:

Me too! I say, "in my online support group . . . ." 

Same for me! I reference the board a lot in conversation and when I first had my surgery I was on here every day and multiple times a day. It was my lifeline. People on here were more helpful than doctors, friends and family. People on here get it!!!

I am glad I read this post today. I think it would continue to help me to check in and see how I can be supportive to others. My life has become so much better in the last three+ years and I need reminders on how hard and how rewarding the journey can be. 

 

Thanks for this!

 

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23 hours ago, MarktheNerd said:

....... and answering the same questions over and over is something only the saints like Cinwa are able to do!

...........

I'm no saint Mark.  Truthfully, being active on the forum is what keeps me focussed on what I have to continue doing to make my RNY a lifelong success because I cannot allow myself to forget that I'm a WLS recipient.  

 

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On 19-8-2017 at 10:05 PM, cinwa said:

I'm no saint Mark.  Truthfully, being active on the forum is what keeps me focussed on what I have to continue doing to make my RNY a lifelong success because I cannot allow myself to forget that I'm a WLS recipient.  

 

Thank you for posting this, @cinwa . I have been sainting you in my mind for a long time. :D Somehow it helps me mentally to hear that you struggle sometimes too.

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Being 18 months out it is easy to get complacent. I still lurk but don't post much. I'm no veteran yet and still have plenty to learn but don't have the daily questions I did when I was going through the process.

It's tough when you might not necessarily be telling everyone, I went through phases where surgery was all I wanted to talk about and I needed the board so I didnt drive my husband crazy!

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15 hours ago, Carina said:

Thank you for posting this, @cinwa . I have been sainting you in my mind for a long time. :D Somehow it helps me mentally to hear that you struggle sometimes too.

Yes, I do sometimes have a little battle with myself because at almost 10 years out, I doubt that there anything that would cause me regret for eating it except for starchy carbs because that can bring on hypoglycemia which is something I would not wish on anyone.

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20 hours ago, KMFL28 said:

I went through phases where surgery was all I wanted to talk about and I needed the board so I didnt drive my husband crazy!

Yes. This. Add my poor coworkers to this list. We had 3 sleevers 6 months apart over an 18 month period (I'm the middle) and it was horrible for our co-peeps. We were accused of being a cult. 

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