Beth211

What have I done!

16 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I had a VGS on 6/27/17.  I went to my surgeon to inquire about a lap band. I'd gained 60lbs in two years since my marriage and move to Texas and my knees and my 10 hour work day/commute making it impossible to exercise so the weight was gaining faster and faster.  The heavier I got the more my knees ached to where I could barely walk the next day. He pushed the VGS. at the time it seemed perfect, no foreign object in my body, no fills for the rest of my life,  no band slippage ( 2 of my friends have had slippage happen). I scheduled surgery right away, a phone consult with his nutritionist, a cashiers check and off I went @211 llbs.  I've lost 15lbs in one week and I'm absolutely miserable. I'm so sick of this clear liquid diet I'm not eating at all, water makes me sick so I'm not drinking enough, and I'm bored to tears. I've always been active my whole life,  (up to two years ago). I always had binge isses so I exercised daily and ran distance races (marathons and half marathons). I went up and down the scale but averaged 170lbs. I worked out fanatically the year before I got married.  I was a toned size 8. This coming from a girl who struggled with weight all my life, I was 48 and looked the best I ever had.  So when I reached my heaviest ever just two years later at 50 and my knees were so bad I couldn't run (my go to for losing weight). I freaked but I think I jumped into this too fast. First of all,  my husband& I circle of friends are social drinkers. We have beers after softball, or a day out watching football or at the pool,  or tubing or dinner. Now i hear i can't drink ever again? Especially beer?? I got hammered off vodka before the surgery. And eating... I can't do this clear liquid anymore.  I'm so depressed.  And then the whole fear that I spent all this money and I'll just stretch this thing out again??? And I'm so bored... I can't just be a wall flower the rest of my life.  I've always been that "fun " girl.  

Edited by Beth211
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Posted (edited)

Wow, @Beth211, your surgical experience has been a whirlwind! I'm not surprised your emotions haven't caught up yet. Plus you're on clear liquids, which is enough to make anyone cranky. Give yourself time and read, read, read here. Lots of sleevers drink alcohol eventually but avoid beer because the carbonation is too hard on the sleeve. Try all kinds of different temperatures of water, try flavor additives like Stur or Mio, try tea of all temperatures, try chicken stock with spices added. You'll get through it. Glad you found us to support you.

Edited by Gretta
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@Beth211

You're in the irritating early phase where between the discomfort and the diet restriction and all you feel particularly bad - don't let it get to you if you can and just keep telling yourself it will pass.

I know lots of sleevers and bypass patients who drink and even some who have beer - the only difference is they drink slower than everyone else. Which is not a bad thing, you'll still enjoy your drink but maybe won't be as drunk as everyone else as fast. BUT remember that these surgeries also affect people so that you are told to be careful as alcohol CAN hit you harder/faster than it did before when you do drink again so remember that you have to just be patient for a while longer and in the end you'll be able to do all the things you loved AND you'll be in better shape physically and mentally.

Also, if water bothers you so much, I would highly recommend giving coconut water (not coconut milk - water) a try. It's highly nutritious, is very hydrating and if you don't mind the taste and having enough of it, it will help you in your recovery due to the water and nutrients it has plenty of :)

And of course, as Gretta pointed out, things like flavoured chick and veg stocks also help a lot in this regard.

And just remember, it's just a VERY short while till you can start on semi-solids like scrambled eggs or mashed potatoes and such.

Lastly - as many people here can attest (and Im feeling this and Im 1 month post-op) - your appetite and capacity to eat will change. I was a HUGE binge-eater, a bag of chips or even a medium (2-3 person) pizza could be eaten at one go with little effort. But now while a small part of me still craves one in a rare while as a fleeting thought, images and cravings for food have changed dramatically. I still enjoy what I can have of what is okay and am slowly expanding my menu's over time - but no, I feel no need or ability to binge and gorge and be a glutton as before.

You'll feel way better as the days pass and yes it will take some tweaking and adjusting in social settings but trust me - if your friends and family care (or at least the ones that really do), they won't do more than some slight teasing but will understand and you'll adjust into your new lifestyle before you even realise it.

Feel better soon.
Cheers.

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@Beth211 I understand! I am 3-1/2 months out and I fully get it. It may take you a little time (probably till solid foods) but you will soon not regret it. I too had my surgery quickly. Consult to Surgery was 1 week. I didn't have time to overthink it and I just leapt. Obviously I knew that I needed to be healthier and just dove in feet first. #1 worry and still is sometimes is not being "Fun" anymore. My house is the party house. We host everything. We cook and we drink beer. This is just who my family is. This surgery was about to change everything and it was a bit nerve-racking.

 

But here I am 3-1/2 months later and not a ton has changed. I am 1/2 way to goal and I still have a pretty entertaining life. This weekend I floated the river with my girlfriends. I had wine instead of beer. I went and had my beloved Mexican food (shared a plate with a friend) and went to an icehouse and had a few drinks and played Corn Hole. Yesterday I cooked some killer ribs and swam with our friends. So I didn't get to crack a beer with my husband, what I did get to do is wake up early and hike 4 miles. It was amazing and I felt proud. The small things I've taken from my life (no matter how important they were before) have been replaced with some really great things.

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Posted (edited)

Thanks everyone... especially smashlee83, yes your life sounds a lot like what we like to do.. that makes me feel a lot better.  We took my stepsons to the local AAA baseball league for the game & fireworks last night.  My first outing since the surgery.  I had friends at the game who wanted to meet for a beer ... people with their hot dogs, nachos, pretzels, frozen drinks,  all of which I craved initially but ultimately didn't mind missing (although I was with my step children who are pre teen & teen but I still don't like drinking when we are out doing family stuff). My girls from softball were all there having beers/drinks.. wondered if my relationship will change there. But overall a positive experience.  Except found out my husband lost my wedding rings (from the hospital) and finally admitted it last night when I was searching the car. I guess I can obsess over that instead for awhile. ** joking** I do want to run the Austin 1/2 marathon this February... I'm going to focus on that! 

Edited by Beth211
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12 minutes ago, Beth211 said:

Thanks everyone... especially smashlee83, yes your life sounds a lot like what we like to do.. that makes me feel a lot better.  We took my stepsons to the local AAA baseball league for the game & fireworks last night.  My first outing since the surgery.  I had friends at the game who wanted to meet for a beer ... people with their hot dogs, nachos, pretzels, frozen drinks,  all of which I craved initially but ultimately didn't mind missing (although I was with my step children who are pre teen & teen but I still don't like drinking when we are out doing family stuff). My girls from softball were all there having beers/drinks.. wondered if my relationship will change there. But overall a positive experience.  Except found out my husband lost my wedding rings (from the hospital) and finally admitted it last night when I was searching the car. I guess I can obsess over that instead for awhile. ** joking** I do want to run the Austin 1/2 marathon this February... I'm going to focus on that! 

Hi @Beth211

Everyone feels this way - WHAT HAVE I DONE?? - right after surgery and especially during the liquids stage. Not speaking for you, but many of us (including me) have had lives which revolved around too much food. So actually living the giving up the too much food element is an emotional shock that is so much more real than what we "intellectually" understood before the surgery. @Smashlee83and I had our surgery at about the same time and I too am about halfway to my goal. I love being thinner so much more than the taste of just about any food, and I belong to food and wine societies. (I do want her ribs recipe though, beg beg beg). Like her, and many others, replacing the gluttony with other great things: I cycled for about 25 miles twice this past long weekend in the Berkshires on drop-dead gorgeous country roads, and that would have been torture for my knees before surgery. Plus I had some great food. And maybe a glass or two of killer wine with it. Just not very much. ^_^

A lot of this is about the mental discipline of moderation as well as the physical moderation enforced by the surgery.  The fast pace you had going from consideration of surgery to actual surgery doesn't sound like it gave you much time for coming to terms with the mental stuff. For most of the people posting here there was a 3-6+ month gap, sometimes a year. So don't beat yourself up while you are figuring this stuff out - and you are lucky, you should see the comments from people who have to wait a long time for insurance or who are required to lose a significant amount of weight before they can have surgery!

You're doing okay and your comment about "ultimately didn't mind missing" the junk food at the game is evidence you are progressing along. You'll be able to drink again - the "faster higher" alcohol levels seen after bypass surgery have not been demonstrated for people with sleeves, so maybe you will escape that 'fast intoxication' effect. All things with time.... and your having a non-weight goal like participating in a race, and the prior habit of exercise, is really healthy

Next on the list of things to freak you out/panic about will be the inevitable stalls we all have. <_< 

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I had a huge Super Bowl party 12 days after surgery and I've been hosting bonfires, and parties ever since.  Most often alcohol does not sit well with me but then I'll look at a drink and can only think of the calories.  Then I ask, "Do I really NEED it?"  Most often the answer is no.  I've been the designated driver, I've been bartender, but I don't get the hangover anymore:).   We went camping over the weekend; I brought rum, dark chocolate rum and tequila I didn't touch a drop..  life is good!  

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You're in the worst part of this but it will get better, in fact it will be wonderful!!  It's true that you should avoid alcohol in the active losing phase; after all it is empty calories and you need every calorie to come packed with nutrition while losing.  There is no reason that most sleevers can't enjoy a social drink once in maintenance, I do nearly every weekend.  I make sure to figure it into the totals for the day and try to avoid the most carby options.  Beer doesn't sit well anyway and I don't miss it at all.  For me the trade off (a gloriously fabulous healthy life) is so worth it! 

One thing that struck me about your story is that presumably because you're cash pay you didn't have the 6 months of preparation that most of us have.  I really found that to be a valuable piece of getting my head ready for what was to come.  It's too bad you weren't given that opportunity.

Hang it there, you will soon be past the worst of the post-op period and hopefully come to appreciate your new tool. 

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Posted (edited)

I knew pre-op I was going to drink post-op. I waited about 6 months, or maybe it was 8 before I had a drink. I was committed to getting to goal in less than a year. I'm nearly 4 years out and I regularly drink. This past weekend I had a beer with dinner. I can't drink as much or as fast as I used to but that is a good thing. I don't need (or want all those carbs and calories.) It's not a goal of mine to get drunk but I certainly have been a few times since WLS. It takes me about 1/4 of what it used to take to get me there. Oh, and I drink champagne on a regular basis. Bubbles aren't an issue for me. 

 

I think the main reason everyone says don't drink after WLS is the risk of developing an alcohol addiction. We all abused food in some way to eat our selves to the point we needed WLS. It is pretty easy to switch to abusing booze when you can no longer abuse food. If you haven't seen it, there is a topic here dedicated to drinking after WLS. Lots of cautionary tales. I suggested reading them if you haven't already.  

 

It is nearly impossible to stretch your sleeve. The stretchy part was removed. Hang in there. You will get through this. You can drink again if you want to. I don't know one single person here who had surgery, lost their excess weight and is now considered "less fun" by their friends and loved ones. It is the opposite for many of us.

Edited by Stephtay
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I was always the "fun" one, never the thin one. Now I'm still fun but thin. 

Trust me, I would take thin any day. You will adjust and do great!

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On 7/5/2017 at 7:03 AM, Smashlee83 said:

@Beth211 I understand! I am 3-1/2 months out and I fully get it. It may take you a little time (probably till solid foods) but you will soon not regret it. I too had my surgery quickly. Consult to Surgery was 1 week. I didn't have time to overthink it and I just leapt. Obviously I knew that I needed to be healthier and just dove in feet first. #1 worry and still is sometimes is not being "Fun" anymore. My house is the party house. We host everything. We cook and we drink beer. This is just who my family is. This surgery was about to change everything and it was a bit nerve-racking.

 

But here I am 3-1/2 months later and not a ton has changed. I am 1/2 way to goal and I still have a pretty entertaining life. This weekend I floated the river with my girlfriends. I had wine instead of beer. I went and had my beloved Mexican food (shared a plate with a friend) and went to an icehouse and had a few drinks and played Corn Hole. Yesterday I cooked some killer ribs and swam with our friends. So I didn't get to crack a beer with my husband, what I did get to do is wake up early and hike 4 miles. It was amazing and I felt proud. The small things I've taken from my life (no matter how important they were before) have been replaced with some really great things.

You have a fabulous outlook on your life! I am inspired to strive to do this also. I am still 2 weeks out before my surgery and have been thinking on the negative side of changes! Thank you for the uplifting attitude!

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Posted (edited)

So I'm almost one month out. I'm handling it a little better. Food still fills me up fast, but I find I'm hungry alot. I feel thinner but the scale has been stuck for almost 2 weeks now.  I'm at 188 from 211.  I've been tracking my calories and 1200 or less per day usually.  I'm having a really hard time eating enough protein so I bought thin sliced turkey and soft cheeses hoping that will help.   I've drank a couple times socially (obviously went over 1200 calories those days).  I miss beer. My job has been keeping me sedetary 10 hours a day but I have been trying to exercise on the weekends (kick boxing, walking & soft ball practice) but i still am not 100% yet, I have to rest and can't hit a full bucket of balls. I want to start running again but im afraid and it's super hot out. So far my knee pain has subsided a lot, (knee replacements were my big fear and knee pain was holding me back from exercising) Again we will see next week when I get back to playing softball 2 nights a week, if I feel like the tin man the next day.  I'm still afraid of being fat. My food habits still plague me (but I guess that never goes away). I've cheated and eaten a few fries and picked at pasta from my family's meals. If I could sick to a diet I wouldn't be fat. So that worries me too. This was supposed to stop that. Only time will tell. One day at a time.  

Edited by Beth211

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So glad to get an update from you, @Beth211! Happy to hear the knee pain is improving already.

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8 hours ago, Beth211 said:

So I'm almost one month out. I'm handling it a little better. Food still fills me up fast, but I find I'm hungry alot. I feel thinner but the scale has been stuck for almost 2 weeks now.  I'm at 188 from 211.  I've been tracking my calories and 1200 or less per day usually.  I'm having a really hard time eating enough protein so I bought thin sliced turkey and soft cheeses hoping that will help.   I've drank a couple times socially (obviously went over 1200 calories those days).  I miss beer. My job has been keeping me sedetary 10 hours a day but I have been trying to exercise on the weekends (kick boxing, walking & soft ball practice) but i still am not 100% yet, I have to rest and can't hit a full bucket of balls. I want to start running again but im afraid and it's super hot out. So far my knee pain has subsided a lot, (knee replacements were my big fear and knee pain was holding me back from exercising) Again we will see next week when I get back to playing softball 2 nights a week, if I feel like the tin man the next day.  I'm still afraid of being fat. My food habits still plague me (but I guess that never goes away). I've cheated and eaten a few fries and picked at pasta from my family's meals. If I could sick to a diet I wouldn't be fat. So that worries me too. This was supposed to stop that. Only time will tell. One day at a time.  

Oh I get this. You could be channeling my inner fears. Of course you have to be plagued by the dreaded stall. There must be a "package" of things: The "What Have I Done??" moments; the first month of nausea, aches and pains; the stalls; not being the imbibing life of the party centered around consumption; wanting that cold refreshing beer (that now bubbles up annoyingly); Still having eyes bigger than your stomach... and the being afraid of not being able to keep to the diet and fears of being fat again. 

When I eat too much I try to remember my definition of too much now is an extra 500 calories... not 3,000 like it used to be. Picking at a few pieces of pasta is not going to sink you. It's the extra 500 in snacks during the day and then the late afternoon bite and then the grazing after dinner worth another 500. You'll lose weight, just keep up the good work and stick to the Plan (quoting @tmcgee). Whining now: I am SOOOO stalled out right now, for the 4th time. Same damnable weight for almost 2 weeks, within an half pound. Just after I had gotten comfortable with a kind of daily intake, and loss of about 2 lbs. a week for a month.... Stall.  Stall. Stall. Torture chamber feed me to the fishes slowly stall. And I just know I will not lose another freaking ounce now. 

CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING UNDER 200 and in ONEDERLAND!!

 

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Thanks @burgandyboy you are right! Looking at registering for a 20 mile bike ride event in October and the austin half marathon as I type!  That's my goal to get back to where I used to be. I'm so embarrassed when I tell people I used to run marathons and half marathons. I want back in the present tense. And looks like my stall finally broke! 186.6 this morning!!!

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8 minutes ago, Beth211 said:

Thanks @burgandyboy you are right! Looking at registering for a 20 mile bike ride event in October and the austin half marathon as I type!  That's my goal to get back to where I used to be. I'm so embarrassed when I tell people I used to run marathons and half marathons. I want back in the present tense. And looks like my stall finally broke! 186.6 this morning!!!

good things come to all who Believe in the Plan ...

Ah, Austin is just the best place. Grew up in and out of Texas and have lots of family in Austin and Houston... I go to the Lady Bird Johnson wildflower center whenever I can. The flowers there prove there is beauty in daily life if we can only see it...

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