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slars04

I Can't Believe He's Gone

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I have been upset and brooding over the past few days. I wasn't close to him, but someone in the recovery community I participate in died last week from the disease of obesity. He got pneumonia and  was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he was put on a ventilator. His body couldn't take it anymore and he died several days later. He was 30 years old. My husband knew him much better than I and had started talking to him about me and the option of medically managed weight loss / surgery. I was going to meet with him and take him to the informational meeting that my surgeon holds monthly.  I was too late.

Addiction is so powerful. I am disgusted that my own first response was to want to find food to comfort myself. I didn't do it at the time but I have done it several times since, without even thinking about it. I am off that train now, but Geez! Someone I know dies of obesity and the first thing I want to do is eat about it.

I I have a lot of work to do, especially with my head, but at least I have time to do it. I need all the help I can get and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to reach out and take it. All my whining about the issues before and after WLS is such selfish bull$h!+ when I think about this. His mother is devastated. I hope I never have to go through that. It never seems right when a parent buries a child.  I got a much needed attitude adjustment; I just wish it wasn't at such a high price.

NerdyLady and Jen581791 like this

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

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2 hours ago, slars04 said:

I have been upset and brooding over the past few days. I wasn't close to him, but someone in the recovery community I participate in died last week from the disease of obesity. He got pneumonia and  was taken by ambulance to the hospital where he was put on a ventilator. His body couldn't take it anymore and he died several days later. He was 30 years old. My husband knew him much better than I and had started talking to him about me and the option of medically managed weight loss / surgery. I was going to meet with him and take him to the informational meeting that my surgeon holds monthly.  I was too late.

Addiction is so powerful. I am disgusted that my own first response was to want to find food to comfort myself. I didn't do it at the time but I have done it several times since, without even thinking about it. I am off that train now, but Geez! Someone I know dies of obesity and the first thing I want to do is eat about it.

I I have a lot of work to do, especially with my head, but at least I have time to do it. I need all the help I can get and I'm so grateful I have the opportunity to reach out and take it. All my whining about the issues before and after WLS is such selfish bull$h!+ when I think about this. His mother is devastated. I hope I never have to go through that. It never seems right when a parent buries a child.  I got a much needed attitude adjustment; I just wish it wasn't at such a high price.

I'm sorry to hear this news. I wish that there wasn't such a stigma against obesity and WLS. My heart goes out to you and his family.

 

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Sorry to hear this - so sad. Sometimes a reminder to be grateful for what we have comes at a high price.

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What a tragic story. I admit it has me questioning whether I should talk to certain people more openly about my surgery. Sometimes it just seems like I'm beating my head against a brick wall trying to get people to understand the realities (both good and bad) of having WLS.

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slars04, I'd be pretty shaken too. I can't imagine what his mother is going through. 

Everyone here chose an operation with a risk of death. The website recently posted a mother whose daughter died after WLS. We all know this is pretty serious business. Longer survival with a better life is the real name of the game here. Your experience is a reminder of the calculation and the choice we each made, and the risk we each ran. Perhaps the good that will come from your posting is that we may encourage someone else to consider WLS. I will speak up more. 

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A quick update: Yesterday at my 3 month check, I told my surgeon what had happened and he was visibly shaken. It was heartbreaking and moving at the same time. I do not regret having surgery and now I am more comfortable with people knowing about it. I'm so glad I could tell my doctor what a difference he's made in my quality of life. It is comforting to know I have a team of people that really have my back, both here and at the office.

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Dear slars04, when my father turned 60 he quit drinking alcohol, lost 60 pounds, and for 5 or 6 years was able to stop smoking too. I asked him why. He just said, "I want to live." He urged me, gently and repeatedly, to consume less and lose weight back then too - in the kindest of fashions - but I couldn't hear him. I wish I could tell him now that I finally understand how hard that must have been for him, but of course he's gone. He wanted me to have a better quality of life, but I had to get myself into the mess I was in before I had my VSG.  My dad, and others, had my back, but you have to be able to recognize it. Your story led me to again mourn their passing, and reflect on how to best live up to their good intent in my own actions. 

Thanks

slars04, Raddy, LeeC and 1 other like this

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