ShrinkingViolet2

Ate everything in sight

83 posts in this topic

Today was not a red-banner day for weight loss and I'm going to confess that just for today, I didn't care. Today was day two of two ER visits for my father with stage IV colon cancer.  After watching him throw up buckets and buckets of brown bile, hiccup uncontrollably for days in end, have his stomach pumped, and then hearing the nurse tell us an obstruction meant his prognosis was even poorer than before, I stole away and ate...and ate. And I didn't care whether it affected my weight loss.

There is no pretty way to mourn or say goodbye to a parent who adopted you when he married your mother and loved you ever since. There was no warning seven months ago before his diagnosis. Yet his grace and humility in the face of his rapid decline are truly, truly remarkable. Not one word of protest, self-pity, or complaint. The words that broke my heart came today after he finally had hydration and was better aware of his surroundings. He asked, "Are we out of time?" I couldn't bring myself to reply, "Yes, Daddy. I think so." Could NOT. After all, God is in control of our days.

So, weight loss??? Nope. But you know what? He sat with me before I was wheeled in for WLS seven months ago. He has supported all my major decisions, and I know he wants me to succeed at this. So tomorrow I put on my big girl panties, and I will work to live by his example to make him proud. I will work at being a more compassionate, gentle human being, period. Just like him. He showed me the way.

I'm sorry. I had to vent. I had nowhere else to do so. I'll be contacting a counselor soon to help me navigate this time. But you know what else? I don't feel bitter or angry. God gave me His best. I am blessed. And deeply thankful.

Thank you for listening.

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Edited by ShrinkingViolet2
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time Kim.

 

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Just be there for him..  he sounds like a wonderful example!  How loved you are.  You will succeed...thoughts and prayers and hugs are with you in this difficult time!

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(((Kim))) 

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Hugs to you

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Thank you all so much!!!

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What a beautiful post about a beautiful man.  I'm so sorry for you that you're losing him but happy for you that you've had him.  You're definitely doing the right thing contacting a counselor.  When I lost my dad, I put on additional 15-20 lbs by drinking 3-4 glasses of wine every night while he was very sick and for the first very sad year following it.  I wish I would have looked for support outside of the wine.  You will be ok and he will always be with you.  ❤️

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3 minutes ago, Waisting said:

What a beautiful post about a beautiful man.  I'm so sorry for you that you're losing him but happy for you that you've had him.  You're definitely doing the right thing contacting a counselor.  When I lost my dad, I put on additional 15-20 lbs by drinking 3-4 glasses of wine every night while he was very sick and for the first very sad year following it.  I wish I would have looked for support outside of the wine.  You will be ok and he will always be with you.  ❤️

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss!! I'm going to fight to stay in the game. For him and for me.  ❤️

Edited by ShrinkingViolet2
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I shouldn't be surprised at my age when I find myself caring about somebody I don't know. It happens a lot.

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6 minutes ago, tmcgee said:

I shouldn't be surprised at my age when I find myself caring about somebody I don't know. It happens a lot.

Aww. So sweet.❤

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Sending love and hugs your way. I was 6 mos out when I lost my Dad. 

I'm sad that he didn't get to see me all the way through. He was such a great cheerleader. 

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I'm so sorry to hear this, and will be thinking of your family during this difficult time. We all get so caught up in the process and this really puts thing in perspective

be kind to yourself.

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Hang in there. I am very sorry for what you are going through. Sadly, I somewhat know the pain that you are in now as I currently have a close family member in stage four cancer, and I lost my wonderful father a couple of years ago.

Do the best now that you can with your diet, and you can pick up the pieces later. Family for now is the most important thing. 

We are here to support you. 

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Beautiful words, Kim, and totally understandable. I wish you lots of strength and love in this difficult and intimate time. 

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I am so sad to read this. You know what's crazy? In that pic you posted, you couldn't convince me you're adopted. That is your daddy through and through. I'm so happy he's been in your life. You can see the bond!

Saying goodbye is so hard. Be kind to yourself. We are here for you. Lots of love and hugs to you. 

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You guys do look alike. You are fortunate to have such a great man be your father. I'm so sorry that he is doing so poorly. 

I do want to say I know that you are going through a horrible time, but please please find other ways to cope rather than eating. We're here for you! 

Prayers and hugs for you. 

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Oh, Kim, I'm so sorry to hear this news. My dad had a serious accident a few weeks ago, and that clutch around the heart and the gut...it's unbelievable. I'm glad you're seeking counseling, but it also sounds to me like you're ready to tackle the emotional issues here head-on, without displacing them. So glad you have support in doing that. All the best to you, and your daddy, always.

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Thank you to all. Yes, people always said we favor each other. More so than my mother, lol. I wanted to also add that my father is an officer and a gentleman: He distinguishly served thirty years in the United States Air Force. I love Colonel Wayne T. Fisher with all my heart.❤

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I'm so very sorry for what you are facing.  It is so hard to watch someone you love in such pain and deteriorating before your eyes.  I pray for strength for you and your family to get through what's ahead.  Take good care of yourself.

 

Mary

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He sounds and looks like a really amazing man. I wish that I could have had the honor to have met him.

My father told me something a few years ago and it has proven to be very wise advice - when a person is dying or dead it is much better to celebrate their life through shared stories and laughter, than to morn their illness or death. So when my father was dying a few years ago, the whole family got together with him to tell stories about him and to laugh or smile during most of them. It made his passing much better for all of us (including him), let him know just how much he had meant to all of us in so many ways, and gave me some wonderful memories to charish for the rest of my life. 

My prayers are with you and your family. 

NerdyLady, Trish13, GAviv and 1 other like this

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You don't need any advice from me so I'm simply going to tell you that I am thinking the very best of thoughts for you and your family during this really tough time. The love and adoration you and your Dad have for each other is very clear. It's an inspiration, and a reminder to us all of the most important things in life.

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That sucks, so sorry to hear about that. He sounds like a great guy and I'm glad you got to know him.

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Consider yourself hugged across the miles. Your post made me tear up, as I could feel your pain. Now is the time for him, and later will be your time to diet.

Saying a prayer for your family tonight. 

 

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How are you doing?  You are in my thoughts..

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13 hours ago, Cheesehead said:

How are you doing?  You are in my thoughts..

Thank you. This is a tough rollercoaster. We have a difficult decision to make: to continue status quo, or to pursue risky surgery. If we continue on course, they give him a week. They said they can keep him comfortable. On the other hand, the surgeon is willing to operate on his bowel obstruction but said his recovery could be tough due to a chemo drug in his system. His oncologist is in favor of surgery because he was responding favorably to chemo. His surgeon supports the idea of surgery but warns he could have real complications. We don't want him to suffer just to add a few more days. On the other hand, his oncologist, who has been with him since the beginning of his cancer diagnosis, thinks he truly has a chance to get better. We are leaning towards surgery. He's fully cognizant and seems to want to fight. I think he wants to stay.

Thank you again for your kind thoughts.

Edited by ShrinkingViolet2

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