la.craig

14 months post-op VSG

21 posts in this topic

156 pounds gone so far. 

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MarktheNerd, Isaare, GAviv and 13 others like this

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Wow!!  You have done a fabulous job losing weight. :)

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Great!!!!!!

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That is a stunning transformation Craig!

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Amazing job congratulations

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You look awesome!!! Congrats!!!

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Wow!! Good job!

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Fantastic job buddy! You should be so proud of yourself!

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On 2/28/2017 at 6:50 PM, Hungeryman said:

Fantastic job buddy! You should be so proud of yourself!

I wish I was but I'm not.  

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9 hours ago, la.craig said:

I wish I was but I'm not.  

I'm sorry to hear that Craig - what's going on?

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great job! 

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Why not proud of yourself??  You look so healthy, fit and happy now!  

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You're very handsome! 

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You look amazing!  Great job.  

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Wow u look amazing God is good 

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Posted (edited)

On 3/7/2017 at 6:58 AM, cinwa said:

I'm sorry to hear that Craig - what's going on?

It's because I always thought of myself as in transition and I never accepted being fat.  So, when I became a lot thinner, I really didn't feel any different.  I'm not sure because maybe I punish myself about other things too much to be able to congratulate myself.   But I'm trying to pat myself on the back more, especially when I see people who've had the surgery and gone back to unhealthy ways and have gained their weight back.

I hate admitting it here, but I lost this weight to basically make me dating material again and I just seem to be almost invisible now as I was when I was morbidly obese.  It's been a big disappointment in that regard as well.  

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a lot thinner.  I certainly look a lot better and I feel a lot better and I can move around easier.  I would definitely do it again.  

I'm almost 170 pounds down.  I weighed 213 on Friday.  My military weight was between 180 and 190 lbs.

Edited by la.craig
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On 3/17/2017 at 2:22 PM, Amber76bailey said:

You're very handsome! 

Thank you. :)

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Posted (edited)

hey craig. i know this stirs up a lot when you talk about hoping that looking more attractive would help you attract a beautiful girl. before i got married, i had an ideal image in my mind of my mate. he would have blond hair and blue eyes, tall, muscular. I was hopelessly attracted to this type.  long story short, my husband has none of those physical qualities at all. i never would have picked him out on paper. i worked with him for a long time and we got to know each other as people. he was the first person ever that i fell in love with his heart and not his physical appearance. I know physical appearance is important, i'm not judging anyone's feelings about that. i just hope you keep an open mind. After falling in love with the person my husband is, i found him to be the most attractive person i'd ever seen. we have a super hot errrr.....marital life- too, 16 years later. 

another thing to consider is feeling disappointed in yourself will shine through to a girl. it may be a turnoff. it's good that you're working on that and trying to feel prouder of yourself. you should! your looks and your weight aren't holding you back, my friend. all said with love and kindness...

Edited by bellamoma
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WOW!!!  You look amazing!!!

 

Regarding dating and ... feeling like you are the same person... or feeling invisible....  @Bellamoma is right!  And I hate to preach to the choir but let me just say this to you...

You are not invisible... only if you make yourself invisible.  And you don't need anyone... ANYONE... telling you how great you look... or anything else...because it really comes down to how you feel about yourself.  Maybe you need to look into yourself and see if you need to work on your own self confidence.... not just as a smaller healthier version of you but in general. 

I am 5'1"... I always dated taller men.... I, like Bellamom, had an ideal picture in my mind of what my partner would look like..Tall, handsome with a great movie star smile.... I dated some of those people that fit the bill.... then I met my husband... he is definitely cute but her is SHORT!  and he for sure does not have the teeth in the movie star smile... but he is AMAZING!  His heart!  His zest for life!  We fit together like peas and carrots!  He even loved me heavy!  Huh!  Go figure!  (Of course to tell you the truth, I don't think I ever thought I was missing anything as a heavy person... I think I still thought I was thin and hot!  (IMAGE ISSUES for sure! ;) )  Anyway....

You will meet that gal who is going to make you laugh and make you cry.  She will light up a room when she walks into it.  And she will love you for you... not for what you look like.  Keep doing what you are doing... enjoy your life.,... be involved and she will appear when you least expect it.  TRUST ME!  I met my husband at 35... and he was well worth the wait.  xo

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In regards to dating- Take your time and find the right person.  :)    When I was 34 I met a guy and married him 6 months later.  After 9 years and two kids, he just walked out.  Just like that.  Now I'm 45 and starting over.  Get to know someone and let them appreciate you for who you are.  I have to keep reminding myself this for when I get back into the dating game.  Someday I'll find it and so will you.  But wait for the person who loves you unconditionally, whom you can trust and be comfortable with.   Don't ever settle!  :)

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I totally agree about finding the right person.  I met my wife (of over 30 years) on a blind date in college (and she was not even my date!).  

Before we were married she became my best friend, and I still love every minute that I spend with her.  In my opinion, a strong relationship should be based on trust, honesty, respect, admiration and friendship.  

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