GreivingMom

My Daughter Died from Gastric Bypass

15 posts in this topic

My daughter had gastric bypass at 36 yo. She was in perfect health except being overweight. She died five days later. She left behind three boys Stephen (15), Timothy (13), and Brandon (11).

Those who lost loved ones from this surgery never talk about it because they are so devastated by the horrible tragic, unnecessary loss. 

She was beautiful, giving, amazingly talented. She was the most loving person I have ever known. She loved her children emormously and was usually seen with one of them in her loving embrace. Her laugh was infectious. She was inspirational, amazingly creative in business, crafts, and art. She was the peace maker in our family. She was my “go to” person for business or creative advice. She was my daughter, she was my closest friend. I miss her every day. 

The only thing the medical examiner explained was her abdomen was full of blood. No other explanation was given. 

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Edited by GreivingMom

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I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my mom and sister to a liver disease that could of been slowed / helped by a weight loss surgery.many of us have several health issues that will shorten our life's if we don't get help. I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope you find some comfort over time. I don't know what else to say , except my heart goes out to you . 

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I'm very sorry for your loss, you, your daughter and her family are in my prayers.  I hope you can get more detail about the exact cause of her death so it can be avoided in the future.

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I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible tragedy. Please know your family is in my prayers.

ShrinkingViolet2 likes this

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I'm sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful mom, daughter and friend. 

ShrinkingViolet2 likes this

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her story with us.

ShrinkingViolet2 likes this

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I keep coming back to this thread in the hope of finding the words that would bring our OP some comfort but as yet, I haven't found them and I'm not even sure that they exist because no parent should ever have to bury a child.

I confess, my knee jerk reaction was to delete it but ultimately, I decided that we can't (and should not) pretend that there is no risk associated with bariatric surgery, however small.  

But fact is, and I have no wish to minimize the pain that our OP is going through, the mortality rate of an individual with a BMI ≥ 40 kg/m2 is greater that of a normal-weight individual and according to this major study published in the January issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) Mortality Rate Associated with Bariatric Surgery Reaches New Lows, Life Expectancy Reaches New Highs

We each must do our own research and ask questions of our surgeon.

 

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every thing comes with risk

 

tylenol, NSAIDs etc.

driving on the Long Island Expressway increases my chance of dying.

i am sorry for your loss.

i was good with my choice because I was pre diabetic and I chose life over diabetes. 

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I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's tragic. There are no other words for it.

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I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family and especially her kids. 

Spunkycat likes this

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Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so very sorry for your family's loss.  

I thought long and hard about the very small risk of death as a result of the surgery when I had my gastric bypass.  But I decided that I was prime candidate for an early death (heart attack, stroke, etc.) without my surgery, and that I really needed the surgery to avoid that far greater risk.  So, I picked the best possible surgeon at the best possible hospital, and then put my trust in my surgeon and my faith.  I do not regret in any way my decision to have a gastric bypass.

duffman27 and Spunkycat like this

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I am so sorry for your loss, and appreciate you sharing your daughters story. Know that you and your daughter as well as her family are in my thoughts.

Res Ipsa likes this

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That sucks. Sorry for your loss. Myself and two members of my immediate family have had WLS, and I thought hard about the risks every time.

Res Ipsa likes this

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I cannot imagine your pain. There are no words, my heart aches for you and your loss.  She was beautiful.  

Res Ipsa likes this

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On 4/27/2016 at 8:44 PM, GreivingMom said:

My daughter had gastric bypass at 36 yo. She was in perfect health except being overweight. She died five days later. She left behind three boys Stephen (15), Timothy (13), and Brandon (11).

Those who lost loved ones from this surgery never talk about it because they are so devastated by the horrible tragic, unnecessary loss. 

 

GrievingMom, I can not even imagine the emotions you are going through at the tragic loss of your beloved daughter. My sincerest condolences go out to you.

I too do not in anyway want to minimise the pain that you must be feeling by what I am about to say. Those of us that take the route of any style of weight loss surgery do so knowing the risk but hoping, some even praying, that we will not be that 1 in 1000 statistic. Your daughter no doubt was also hoping she would not become that statistic. While you may not want to accept it at this time, or even understand it or agree with it, although physically healthy, clearly your daughter had issues in her life that brought her to the eventual decision to take the risk of undergoing this surgery. Even more so if her decision to have the surgery in Mexico was because she was funding the surgery herself.

I don't care how many morbidly obese people scream until the cows come home that they are truly happy people ... I don't believe it. Our emotional health is just as important as our physical health although often far easier to hide from the outside world.  They may be pulling the wool over the eyes of those around them, perhaps they can even fool themselves into believing they are truly happy for a time, but the cold hard reality is that morbidly obese people are not truly happy being morbidly obese. Your daughter made a decision that only she could make, with all the information that she had available to her and using her own reasoning skills. As a parent all we can really do is hope that we have raised our children to weigh all sides of a argument and make well reasoned decisions. The way you have so lovingly described her I have no doubt that your daughter did just that, Once her decision was made she did as we all do and placed her trust in her surgeon and the hospital to get her through the surgery. For whatever reason (and none of us know what that is in her case), she was not to get the outcome she had hoped for. It is a tragedy to be sure. Unfortunately as parents we won't always agree with the choices our offspring make in their lives. We may even want to save others from making what we believe to be the same mistake. In the end though we all make our own decisions based on whatever reasoning or facts we choose to take into account.

 

Thank you for sharing your daughter's story. It is reminder to all who read it of the reality that even though the odds are well and truly on our side going into surgery, that someone has died for those statistics.

Res Ipsa, IslandWater, LeeC and 5 others like this

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