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Liv

Anyone here had first baby after 40? I do not want to wait 18 months..

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Hi. Let me start by saying I'm 39, turning 40 in July. I am having gastric bypass in March. My doc recommends waiting 18 months post-op, I do not want to wait 18 months to TTC because I'm worried about my age. I have been married 6.5 years, and have not been on birth control the entire time. Hubby really really wants children. I do, too, but the weight loss has been such a struggle. I am not ovulating because of my weight, and even if I was, my OB wanted me to lose at least 70 lbs before TTC. She was less concerned about my age, since she has patients my age who have healthy pregnancies, but she wanted me to lose weight and get healthier.

I am a type 2 diabetic, on insulin. This is the main reason I'm having WLS. I am scared of diabetic complications. I want the diabetes to be reversed.

The second reason I'm having WLS is to be able to fall pregnant. 

Have any of you had your first child after 40?

Sometimes I get scared that I am running out of time...

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Liv, carrying a healthy pregnancy to term and releasing a viable egg to achieve a pregnancy on any given cycle are two different things. I had my first child at 37 then suffered secondary infertility. After many fertility treatments, I ultimately had twins at 42 then had a surprise pregnancy with my youngest at 44.

At your age, do what you need to do. Your body isn't providing any eggs right now. Once it does, you will find out if you're able to conceive. Some reproductive endocrinologists have BMI limits, and I don't know what guidelines they might have for waiting periods post-WLS. Assume that you will need medical assistance, and figure out ahead of tine who to see and when. You don't want to waste any time.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but the cards are stacked against you. As you map out your course of action, do some soul searching to determine what is most important to you. Is it simply having a child to raise? Does it matter if that child is older than an infant when he/she enters your life? How much older? Do you feel that you must give birth to that child? How critical is it that your child comes from your egg? These are questions for you to explore on your journey.

vonnie likes this

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Oh, and my the way, I see that there's a two year gap in your posting history and that you just came back to the site. Congratulations on your decision to move forward and live a healthier life and on having your surgery scheduled. Good luck to you, on all fronts.

vonnie likes this

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In 2013 I was scheduled to have surgery, but then the endocrinologist felt I was not fit enough to survive surgery, so the surgery was cancelled. I was very disappointed. The following year (last year) I lost 40 lbs with a personal trainer. But then I went to the USA for work (I live in South Africa) and gained weight. This year I lost again, then gained. I've tried doing this on my own.

I realise the odds are stacked against me, because of my age, but I have faith. 

Are you a nurse Wendy?

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Thanks for replying Wendy :)

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I'm not a nurse. I've just been through the wringer myself. Once you start talking with a doctor, he or she will paint a more negative picture, because you've never given birth. Doctors consider statistics and probabilities, but you have a known reason for your inability to conceive, and you're addressing the underlying problem.

Hold tight onto the fact that  you are an individual, not a number. Even though the odds are against you, it is entirely possible that everything will work out, especially if you have a family history of women conceiving when they're older.

It's hard to put out of your mind, especially now that you are finally in a position where you can entertain the possibly. I'm glad  you are finally in a place where you're healthier and can entertain the possibilities. Only time will show how things will ultimately play out.

Liv likes this

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