trishthedish

People are judgy!

20 posts in this topic

So I am down to the end of my 6 month program. I have a "tentative" surgery date of 12/22!! (Oh my thats soon-LOL). I asked to be squeezed in before the end of the year because my insurance is changing- so they are trying to accommodate me.

I started this program in July. I had just turned 30 and just got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and I was around 232-236 lbs. My program says a BMI of 35 or higher if you have diabetes to qualify. So I qualify, and they use the starting weight and said even if my BMI goes under 35 I can still have surgery.

I have done really well so far, lost 30 lbs so I am now 206! I know I am a lightweight going into this and am lighter now. Its been a rollercoaster. I went from being so eager in July that I couldn't imagine waiting 6 months.. then as I lost weight I questioned if I should have the surgery and reached out to you guys on the forum, and thanks for all of the insightful replies. I am not someone that loses easily, I know a lot of people here have no problem losing, just struggle to keep it off. My issue was losing. Most I ever lost before this was 10 pounds. So of course losing 30lbs I questioned my decision to have surgery. Then I remembered all of my reasons for wanting it in the first  place haven't changed, and my success on the 6 month diet just shows that I will be successful with surgery and even my surgeon says I am an ideal candidate. 

But the comments and stigma attached with this surgery!! I am tired of people saying stuff. I went to an appointment for an EKG and the nurse saw that I was in the bariatric program and said I was way too small to be getting surgery. I ignored her. Then at my stress test another nurse actually went on a rant almost about me having surgery. Saying I was small.. and that I should "do it on my own" since I was already losing weight.. and that I didn't need surgery. I don't have a good poker face so I think she saw that I was none too happy with her comments. 

Also I have had some people close to me that were supportive in the beginning, recently make comments wanting me not to get the surgery.. again with the "i can do it on my own" acting like this is the easy way out, that I just need more discipline and a good exercise plan, that they are disappointed, even embarrassed for me. That was the last straw for me.. I don't need that kind of negativity.

I came here tonight, because today was the call from the doctor about my "tentative" surgery date, and I wanted to celebrate, I wanted to be excited about the new life I am starting.. and here is the only place I can do my happy dance right now... 

so thank you all for being here for me and celebrating with me in my victories and keeping me strong on this journey!!

MsL, MsPeach, Marie1 and 15 others like this

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Congrats on both your recent weight loss and surgery date! 

I totally get how people can be judgy -- I haven't had the unfortunate luck to have medical personnel make negative comments, but understand the stigma attached to choosing to go this route. Regardless, I wish you all the best!

trishthedish likes this

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Trish, hang in there. You know why you're having surgery, and your bariatric team is behind you. That is what matters.

With as much difficulty as you have losing weight, you definitely don't want to be a weight loss recidivist and have to go through this all over again.

You're in the home stretch. Hang in there.

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Always blows my mind that people think just "one more diet" is going to make the difference. Whatever. Screw those people.

Congrats on getting a date--good luck through the process!

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Congratulations on your weight loss and good luck with your surgery. You will be so happy that you have this tool to work with! 

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Congrats on your weight loss and getting your surgery date. I applaud your weight loss efforts and believe that the surgery ( Tool) will get you to your goal based on the work and change you have started as part of your 6 month requirement. The naysayers will have to eat crow when you reach your goal and desired health!

Raeme likes this

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We will certainly celebrate with you!!  You're doing great and we are happy for you. 

You have to do you and the truth is that after the surgery YOU will make your new tool work.  It's not magic. You have to follow your plan and be diligent about fluids, protein, and vitamins every single day!!  

As for all the offered comments from random people. I like what Markthenerd said--Screw those people. You know what they say about opinions.......

Little bird likes this

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Some of us don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks, this is for you, your family, and those who love you, and there is no other way to say it. I know a lot of folks are sensitive to what you are expressing, although many of us just don't care what anyone else thinks. It's for you, not them, and it is FAR from the easy way out, I still struggle at almost 3 years, though I'm staying on track.

Edited by tmcgee

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No one, I'm sure including you, made this decision lightly.  And anyone that hasn't had to seriously weigh the options and make this decision doesn't truly know what it's all about.

I was at work yesterday, and a couple of my coworkers were commenting on my loss.  They don't know about my surgery.  One said there was someone else in the office that had lost a lot of weight too, oh but she had that surgery though.  Like somehow that negated the woman's success.  I bit my tongue, only because I didn't feel like getting into the argument right then.  But that's the kind of stigma there is.  People just have no idea. 

Spunkycat, MsL, Raeme and 2 others like this

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judgmental people is one of the reasons I kept my surgery to myself. 

I don't want to spend the rest of my life defending the choice I made. I have spent my entire life taking care of people as an RN and NP. Now it is time for me to take care of myself. 

I applaud your decision to take care of yourself. Use your tool wisely. 

Wishing you success and happiness ....

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Always blows my mind that people think just "one more diet" is going to make the difference. Whatever. Screw those people.

Congrats on getting a date--good luck through the process!

I wasted 35+ years with that attitude and I have dieting documentation to prove it.

 

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Yay Trish!! I'm soooo excited for you! I was just thinking about you today so I'm so happy to see this post :-) it just blows my mind the things that come out of peoples mouths..... I started my journey in march at 283 and in august hit 259 Morning of surgery, 1 week post op I answered the door for my neighbor, I apologized it took me so long to answer the door but I just had surgery..... she asked oh "for what " I told her and she says " why? you weren't that big" hahaha what!!? What's too big? What's not too big? People are rediclous..... 

the_gilded_lily and Snippets like this

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Congrats on getting your date!  Sorry you've had to deal with those people.

I'm going back to work today after 3 weeks off and am concerned about what's been spread around the office while I've been out.  I only told 3 people, 1 being my boss and a person I didn't tell emailed me about an upcoming breakfast this week and said "not sure if you will feel like eating."  So someone blabbed and I've heard the comments they made when my coworker had the surgery, very judgmental.  To each his own is what I say!  

You'll do great with this, I do not regret doing this at all!!

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congrats on your date!! its all very exciting. and dont listen to any of those people. like you said you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. you can do this and we will all be there for you through everything.

on a side note i would have tore that nurse a new one. its no matter of hers what your having done and if she has an opinion about it she can keep it to herself.

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Congratulation on your weight loss, and on getting a surgery date. You know the work you have to  put in, you can do it! As for all those judgy people - ignore them. I didn't tell anyone for that reason. I know what I wanted to do, and really didn't want to hear everyone's opinion about how it was "cheating" or how "everyone gains the weight back." Even so, people have seen me lose weight and are still bitchy and judgy. Sometimes you can't win, so don't try. Do it for you, and for no one else. Good Luck!

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Congrats on getting your surgery date. You know you are doing this for all the right reasons. Unfortunately there is still a big group that need to 'walk a mile in someone's shoes before casting judgment'.

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On 12/10/2015 at 6:41 PM, trishthedish said:

So I am down to the end of my 6 month program. I have a "tentative" surgery date of 12/22!! (Oh my thats soon-LOL). I asked to be squeezed in before the end of the year because my insurance is changing- so they are trying to accommodate me.

I started this program in July. I had just turned 30 and just got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and I was around 232-236 lbs. My program says a BMI of 35 or higher if you have diabetes to qualify. So I qualify, and they use the starting weight and said even if my BMI goes under 35 I can still have surgery.

I have done really well so far, lost 30 lbs so I am now 206! I know I am a lightweight going into this and am lighter now. Its been a rollercoaster. I went from being so eager in July that I couldn't imagine waiting 6 months.. then as I lost weight I questioned if I should have the surgery and reached out to you guys on the forum, and thanks for all of the insightful replies. I am not someone that loses easily, I know a lot of people here have no problem losing, just struggle to keep it off. My issue was losing. Most I ever lost before this was 10 pounds. So of course losing 30lbs I questioned my decision to have surgery. Then I remembered all of my reasons for wanting it in the first  place haven't changed, and my success on the 6 month diet just shows that I will be successful with surgery and even my surgeon says I am an ideal candidate. 

But the comments and stigma attached with this surgery!! I am tired of people saying stuff. I went to an appointment for an EKG and the nurse saw that I was in the bariatric program and said I was way too small to be getting surgery. I ignored her. Then at my stress test another nurse actually went on a rant almost about me having surgery. Saying I was small.. and that I should "do it on my own" since I was already losing weight.. and that I didn't need surgery. I don't have a good poker face so I think she saw that I was none too happy with her comments. 

Also I have had some people close to me that were supportive in the beginning, recently make comments wanting me not to get the surgery.. again with the "i can do it on my own" acting like this is the easy way out, that I just need more discipline and a good exercise plan, that they are disappointed, even embarrassed for me. That was the last straw for me.. I don't need that kind of negativity.

I came here tonight, because today was the call from the doctor about my "tentative" surgery date, and I wanted to celebrate, I wanted to be excited about the new life I am starting.. and here is the only place I can do my happy dance right now... 

so thank you all for being here for me and celebrating with me in my victories and keeping me strong on this journey!!

Don"t let anyone tell you it's the was't way out...IT IS NOT!!! I to was on the light side however my wt loss was up and down, this teaches you a whole new way to eat!! Go have your SURGERY and Good Luck

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How unprofessional of those people! I'm a smart @*# but I think I'd ask where they got their MD from. 

Anyway you have to just have thick skin mentally and just know that of course there are going to be people who tell you not to do this. People just love to stick their noses in other people's business. You know yourself, you know your body, you know what works for you. 

That's all that matters. 

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People do judge.  But more often than not, they're not judging the people but the actual surgical procedure.  They don't want anyone to die from elective surgery.  Truth. 

It is not for them but for those who've opted to have the surgery.  It's better to lead by example and educate than react. Responses are always better than reactions.  Take the higher road and wish them well.  

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I agree with what most have said here, but I'd like to offer one thought. Perhaps yes, they're being judgy, but the heart behind it might be concern for your wellbeing. My immediate family was very leery initially when I first broached the subject of wls. They were afraid for me. They later got on board and became my biggest cheerleaders. So some people might have good intentions/hearts behind their objections. This is one reason I kept my decision to myself and only shared it with close fam and friends. I didn't want anyone else's input in this important, personal decision.

Congrats on your choice and keep us posted!

 

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