Tertiary

"You're certainly not the poster child for this operation."

25 posts in this topic

My primary doctor's office secretary (been with them 39 years) said, "You're certainly not the poster child for this operation, are you?" I said that the surgery healed well and my diet is moving along. Maybe the reason her comment bothers me is that I've been wondering whether my weight loss and blood pressure trouble means I'm not as successful as I could be. I was 262 pounds in August. Pre pre-op diet, I was 248 pounds. Day of gastric sleeve and hiatal hernia repair surgeries, my weight was 238. I'm currently 213 pounds. So since surgery, in eight weeks, I've only lost 25 pounds.

I've had trouble with orthostatic blood pressure. Today, I start a two week trial of a medication to treat this. This is week 7 of not being in my classroom. Thanksgiving week Monday and Tuesday were Parent Teacher Conferences. Since I could sit all day, I was able to meet with my parents and students. When I didn't have conferences, I was able to straighten up, file, and catch up. This week another wonderful guest teacher is with my students. Hopefully, this medication will work well for me and I can get back to school next week.

I don't feel like the surgery was a mistake. Maybe I would have had this trouble earlier if I had been thinner and not needed the surgery. Whatever, I'm not happy about her comment and wonder if others might be thinking the same thing.

 

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ugh! sometimes people say things without thinking. That's probably a comment they could have kept to themselves.  I hope you start feeling better soon.  This is probably just a bump in the road to a healthier you....

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What a nasty thing to say!

I think you're doing fine...I've only lost 30# since my surgery 8 weeks ago. I don't know why that would be a bad thing?

"Only" 30 pounds. Geeze.

I hope you get your pressure sorted out!

Cue and Tertiary like this

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If the meds increase blood pressure maybe they increase blood volume as well? That would mask some weight gain.

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I would have said something incredible rude which I can't repeat on these forums due to no swearing rules.  I might have even punched her.  That is one of the dumbest most idiotic comments to be made by a professional I have ever heard.  Some random shmoe at work.... fine...  but someone that works at the program?  Absolutely ridiculous.  I would file a complaint on her.

You have averaged 12lbs a month.  Considering the average loss for a sleever is only 8-10lbs a month, you are ahead of the curve.  So she can stuff her stupid comment right into her stupid mouth.  You should seriously file a complaint on her.  And DO NOT -  DO NOT  let her comment keep you down.  Cause she is wrong.  And stupid.  Did I mention she is stupid?

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Your average is 2-3 pounds a week, highly successful by any standard!

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it--  those people who make derogatory comments about your post-WLS weight or your operation, fall into only one of two categories- incredibly ignorant, or incredibly arrogant.  And shame on that secretary!!  She's not part of the problem, or the solution, so she should just keep her mouth shut.

Tertiary, CZJ and ThinCVT like this

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This was at your Primary Care doc (not your surgeon/program)?  Sounds to me like a combination of ignorance and a non-working filter.  I sure wouldn't let it get to me, and I probably would mention it to her supervisor; not in a vindictive-get-the-stupid-old-lady-in-trouble way but more in a spirit of learning/improvement which is the cure for ignorance :)

When you reach your goal weight you will have the satisfaction of knowing she was wrong and you are indeed the poster child for health!

Trish13, Tertiary, CZJ and 1 other like this

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This is where the phrase 'What an interesting assumption' followed by silence for 3-5 seconds comes in. It sounds like you are doing great, please don't let her unprofessional comment get you down. And I highly agree with msmarymac...let her supervisor or your PCP know.

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25lb down in 8 weeks = a 3.125lb loss per week.   That has me beat by a long shot.

I agree with msmarymac.  It may well be a combo of "ignorance and a non-working filter" or .... jealousy!

ikantspel, Res Ipsa and Tertiary like this

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At best, she was having an off day and took it out on you. At worst, she is a complete jerk. I would tell the dr. she needs some coaching on what not to say to patients. If you've been going there for 39 years, they want to keep you happy. I am so sorry she said that. I think you are doing great! Keep it up and don't compare your weight loss to anyone else's. You will get to goal. 

cinwa and Tertiary like this

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It's hard to know weather or not she misspoke, was trying to say something different and it came out wrong, or she was indeed just being a jerk. I'd recommend approaching her about it privately. Ask her to clarify what she meant by her comment and if doesn't explain things in a way that you are comfortable with, let her know that what she said was hurtful and unprofessional, and ask her to be more thoughtful with her words going forward. If she's defensive, doesn't apologize, or continues to be rude, I'd then report her to her boss.

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You don't want to know what I would have said...

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My surgeon said the average weight loss after a sleeve is 1 to 2 pounds a week.

you are above average. Don't let words hurt you. They are only words. I work very hard at not allowing other people's words define me.

keep up the good work.

Tertiary and ThinCVT like this

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You don't want to know what I would have said...

I do!  But only if it means you won't get banned :)

GAviv likes this

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I do!  But only if it means you won't get banned :)

oh, I'd get banned!

MaggienScout and Res Ipsa like this

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You are doing fantastic. Her comment doesn't make a bit of sense.

ThinCVT likes this

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We all lose at the rates our bodies want to, not faster and not slower.  You're doing just fine and are making good steady progress, that's all that matters.  

Tertiary likes this

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You don't want to know what I would have said...

I do!  But only if it means you won't get banned :)

Ha ha came here to say this 

I think most of us would, in fact we'd get front row seats and tubs of buttered popcorn for the occasion...  :-)

MaggienScout likes this

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Some responses here have been a dit tongue in cheek, which makes sense given the profound stupidity of her statement in light of her role (medical provider, albeit administrative). It's one thing for a friend or family member to say something inappropriate, but given her position, it's really not acceptable.

You sound like an introspective person, and because you find her statement troubling, you deserve to understand her motivation for making it and for her to understand how it has affected you. You owe it to yourself and your relationship with this office to say something.

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My advice is slightly different - there are lots of idiots that one will meet in life, and I try to ignore the stupid comments of idiots.  So I say, ignore her, and move on to much more important things - your health, your family and your friends.  I seriously doubt that approaching her about the comment or complaining about it will give you any real satisfaction.

That having been said, if you really want to approach her and zing her, go for it!

Most importantly, remember, you are doing great so far, and will be a much slimmer and healthier you in a few more months.  

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So, this must be said with a fine Southern accent for real meaning and intent.....Well, aren't you such a sweet thing, bless your heart! Love you, mean it and have a nice day! Then the 3-5 second silence...or better yet, say nothing more!

 

LeeC likes this

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Thank you all! I got a lot of affirmations and a few laughs from your responses. I think my blood pressure problem causing frequent office visits and calls, as well as er visits and consultations with my sleeve surgeon, is what may be behind the attitude. She's not only my primary doctor's secretary but also his wife. So I may wait to see whether the attitude continues to see whether I need to say anything. I have lived the confrontation through your responses and they really affirm my success in this. And thank you for the feedback on my weight loss. It's difficult to tell how successful I will be when I haven't achieved long term goals. Thank you!

Res Ipsa, 50zann, LeeC and 1 other like this

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Im in week 9 and this week I lost 25lbs since surgery  your ahead in weight loss :D Congrats 

Readytotransform likes this

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I agree she stuck her foot in her mouth and should never have said what she did. Maybe she was not commenting on how much weight you have lost in 7 weeks but that you had the surgery and now have blood pressure problems when it normally helps with high blood pressure? I know it took my husband 3 months to be able to come off of his diabetes medicines after surgery. He was able to stop the insulin shots immediately but had to take his pills about 3 month after surgery. I hope this does not make you second guess yourself in any way. You are doing great everyone loses at their own rate. Best wishes for your continued success. 

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On 12/1/2015 at 10:55 AM, Tertiary said:

My primary doctor's office secretary (been with them 39 years) said, "You're certainly not the poster child for this operation, are you?" I said that the surgery healed well and my diet is moving along. Maybe the reason her comment bothers me is that I've been wondering whether my weight loss and blood pressure trouble means I'm not as successful as I could be. I was 262 pounds in August. Pre pre-op diet, I was 248 pounds. Day of gastric sleeve and hiatal hernia repair surgeries, my weight was 238. I'm currently 213 pounds. So since surgery, in eight weeks, I've only lost 25 pounds.

I've had trouble with orthostatic blood pressure. Today, I start a two week trial of a medication to treat this. This is week 7 of not being in my classroom. Thanksgiving week Monday and Tuesday were Parent Teacher Conferences. Since I could sit all day, I was able to meet with my parents and students. When I didn't have conferences, I was able to straighten up, file, and catch up. This week another wonderful guest teacher is with my students. Hopefully, this medication will work well for me and I can get back to school next week.

I don't feel like the surgery was a mistake. Maybe I would have had this trouble earlier if I had been thinner and not needed the surgery. Whatever, I'm not happy about her comment and wonder if others might be thinking the same thing.

 

That is a really hurtful thing to say and I'm sorry that she was insensitive. What I am learning is that we are all different and heal at different rates. That also means that we lose weight at different rates too.  "Only 25 lbs"??? That's pretty awesome. You should pat yourself on the back. Ignore the haters! 

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