VolMommy

Did you tell you coworkers?

41 posts in this topic

I am really concerned with how my coworkers and boss will react to my WLS.  If you didn't tell them, what did you say?  I have kept this long journey to myself along with my husband.  It has been hard on me, and i know how strange my coworkers are!

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Everyone has different experiences, some tell and some don't. I told mine as that is what makes me comfortable, if you are not comfortable telling don't. It's your choice and they shouldn't know if you don't want them to.

bambinari, VolMommy and PatriciaAnn like this

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Everyone has different experiences, some tell and some don't. I told mine as that is what makes me comfortable, if you are not comfortable telling don't. It's your choice and they shouldn't know if you don't want them to.

totally agree - I told everyone at work and home and on Facebook!  I'm a very (very) open person and wanted to share this wonderful journey - everyone has been behind me 110% and very supportive and encouraging.  But I'm lucky - not everyone has had my experience from what I've read here on TT.  So it really is up to you and your comfort level.

Edited by PatriciaAnn
GAviv, Townmama and VolMommy like this

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I work for mice elf and have asked many of my customers how great I look being down 145 pounds. I have seen nothing but positive reinforcement, but I don't live in a political work environment.

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I've told one coworker so far (she's had surgery, as well), and will probably share with a few more people on my team (like my supervisor). However, I work on a smaller team that is part of a larger department and I don't plan on telling anyone that isn't on my immediate team. I'm usually pretty open, but I haven't been working here that long and don't really know anyone else that well. I haven't yet decided what I'll say when I get the inevitable questions, but I'm sure I'll find some way to deflect.

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I did not tell anyone outside my immediate family. You cannot "untell" someone and have no control over who they may decide to tell. I don't believe anyone should be privy to one of my medical procedures. I was comfortable with my decision and became more so after reading the many challenges that others on TT have experienced after over sharing. It's a personal decision and you will find advocates on both sides of the fence. Just remember that once you decide to tell any one person at work you no longer have the option to keep it private.

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I had a Haitial hernia that needed repairing. They fixed it at the same time so..,.. I told but I didn't tell everything. Now I just say since my diet was restricted for a while I decided to continue the restriction and benefit. Thanks for the tip, Aviator.

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I've told one coworker so far (she's had surgery, as well), and will probably share with a few more people on my team (like my supervisor). However, I work on a smaller team that is part of a larger department and I don't plan on telling anyone that isn't on my immediate team. I'm usually pretty open, but I haven't been working here that long and don't really know anyone else that well. I haven't yet decided what I'll say when I get the inevitable questions, but I'm sure I'll find some way to deflect.

 

If I can guarantee you one thing, it's that if you tell even ONE person, they will all know.  Then if you deny it to even ONE person, you'll be talked about and called a liar.  Make a decision to tell or not to tell and stick with it 100%.

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Don't even get me started on this one!  But I will say that one coworker confided in me and only me that she had surgery and I haven't told anyone.  

GAviv, Aviator, VolMommy and 1 other like this

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I was worried about this too. Ii work in a kind of community that is close but gossips. I told them so they wouldn't think I was sick and start that rumor. So far, only positive responses. I don't care, though, as I am doing this for me. I still have one family member I haven't told because she will drive me insane with questions and guilt over her obesity. I am still thinking about that one.

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If I can guarantee you one thing, it's that if you tell even ONE person, they will all know.  Then if you deny it to even ONE person, you'll be talked about and called a liar.  Make a decision to tell or not to tell and stick with it 100%.

 

Thank you for that advice, Happy-Camper! :) I'm truthfully not all that worried about it. There will be 3 or 4 people that I tell; if others find out, then they find out. It's not a secret or anything, I'm just not planning on advertising it.

 

I understand people's curiosity with the whole thing, but it's unfortunate that people who want/need to keep their privacy often find it violated. :(

VolMommy, WorkinProcess and tmcgee like this

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Thank you guys.  My coworkers are kind of mean, and I think they will treat me differently if they find out.  They are constantly talking about other people.  It is insane.  I think I will stick to telling my immediate family and leave my coworkers out of it.  I am doing this for me, and I refuse to have that negativity in my life!  It is so nice to have you guys to talk to. 

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My boss is my bff and I told him but no one else. I know he didn't tell anyone. Most people at my company are young and uber competitive. I didn't want any of them to know. I'm so glad I kept it private at work. Another co-worker had by pass a few years ago and people said terrible things about her. In my personal life a told few people in my family and a few friends. Most people in my life don't know. 

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Thank you guys.  My coworkers are kind of mean, and I think they will treat me differently if they find out.  They are constantly talking about other people.  It is insane.  I think I will stick to telling my immediate family and leave my coworkers out of it.  I am doing this for me, and I refuse to have that negativity in my life!  It is so nice to have you guys to talk to. 

We all have different situations. Do what is best for you and yours. I don't care about a rat's butt what anybody else thinks, yet I'm a rare person who works for mice elf.

Stephtay and VolMommy like this

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I work for mice elf and .....

Now that's a funny auto-correct...

Thank you guys. My coworkers are kind of mean, and I think they will treat me differently if they find out. They are constantly talking about other people. It is insane. I think I will stick to telling my immediate family and leave my coworkers out of it. I am doing this for me, and I refuse to have that negativity in my life! It is so nice to have you guys to talk to.

I recommend you do not tell anyone, especially if there is a potential for meanness going on. I agree with Lennie, tell them its a hiatal hernia repair surgery. No one will remember in a few months.

Edited by Aviator
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Thank you Aviator for your support.  I am so nervous and excited, I just don't want that old nasty negativity around me. 

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Thank you Aviator for your support.  I am so nervous and excited, I just don't want that old nasty negativity around me.

You don't need it. Keep it on the QT. It's no one's business but yours.

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Now that's a funny auto-correct...

 

It actually came from Sly and the Family Stone in the 70's. "Thank you for letting me, be mice elf again."

 

http://www.allmusic.com/song/thank-you-falettinme-be-mice-elf-agin-mt0000131178

Aviator likes this

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Love it.  I wish I worked for mice elves.

 

I did my surgery over 2 weeks vacation and didn't tell anyone but my best friend.  As I started losing weight, very few people asked about it (but they were talking about it).  When someone finally asked, all I said was I was under medical care to deal with some health issues.   And thanks for asking.

 

 

I work for mice elf and have asked many of my customers how great I look being down 145 pounds. I have seen nothing but positive reinforcement, but I don't live in a political work environment.

Aviator likes this

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I work in the insurance department for a large school district. My supervisor has to sign off on all the claims. There are four other people in our department, and one of them is a friend of mine that had a bypass 13 years ago that knew I was considering WLS. That being the case, I chose to tell the people in my department. I know that one of them told another person, but I am ok with that. If people find out, they find out. However, I'm not broadcasting it.

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i was only 12 days post op when one of my co workers flat out asked did i have surgery. i was shocked because there wasn't a drastic difference, or at least i didn't think so. 

Edited by SLICEBREAD

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I tell only people I feel will not voice unasked for opinions. Many people feel it necessary to judge my personal health decisions.

Aviator likes this

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I tell only people I feel will not voice unasked for opinions. Many people feel it necessary to judge my personal health decisions.

It's no one's business but yours. Who you choose to let know is something everyone should respect. Never let someone pressure you into divulging anything you aren't comfortable sharing.

All the best to you.

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I told my best friend and my husband.  I know she will support me, but I don't think people at work will do that.  I told them I was having surgery on my hernia. 

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OK, for the sake of argument, lets consider this from the point of the people you work with...

 

You are gone a week or two and come back eating like a bird.  Prior to being gone you ate like everyone else, and that included going to fast food, etc.

 

Suddenly you are back eating very small portions of mainly protein.

 

You start losing a lot of weight, quickly.

 

Now these people have worked with you for a while, so they are naturally curious.  I dare you to say that you wouldn't be curious yourself if someone else did this in your office.

 

So now you are eating like a bird, losing lots of weight, and when they ask you about it you say something like,  "Oh, I'm just cutting back and trying to eat right"

 

I'm betting their bull.... meter would be going off at this point.

 

You have surgery and come back and suddenly are losing lots of weight......

 

They are probably going to decide one of two things -- you are either very sick, or you have had weight loss surgery.

 

Now if they decide you are sick, they are going to treat you differently -- solicitously....   Would this not make you feel at least a little guilty????????

 

Or they will decide you had weight loss surgery -- its not like this is not an increasingly common thing -- LOTS of people are doing this.... but you are not telling them.

 

I, quite honestly, can't see an up side this....   IF They decide you are sick and not telling them -- and then find out your Aren't.....  

 

-OR-

 

They pretty much figure out you had wls and you are lying about it - and Don't tell me they won't consider it Lying.....

 

You can talk all about "privacy" you want, but Unless you live on a desert island, you have to work with these people, and spend 8 hours a day with them.....

 

I would think it would be a heck of a lot better to tell them up front, and it will become a non-issue very quickly.  You play the secret game and its going to go on for MONTHS......

cinwa and GAviv like this

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