Food animosity towards your partner. - Page 4 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

UndercoverDiva · 11-03-2009, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistymee

It is much easier to say you don't agree when it is stuff that isn't a trigger food for you. When it is, it's a whole different story.

Except for the fact that there are times he does buy things I would like, but just don't think I should eat. Corn is one of those things. I love corn, but don't eat it. If I start, I won't stop. I do enjoy watching him savor it, though!

poet_kelly · 11-03-2009, 11:13 AM

I personally see a big difference between asking Mike not to leave candy bars lying around the house where they might tempt me and asking him never to eat a candy bar in front of me. If there is junk food lying around all day when I am home alone, I might have a hard time resisting it. But if he is eating a candy bar and I am sitting here, I am not going to grab it out of his hand and eat it. I do have that much self-control.

I even see a difference in asking someone not to eat pizza in front of me while I am on a two-week liquid diet and asking them to never eat pizza in front of me again. Asking for help or support seems reasonable and fair to me. But asking someone else to totally change how they eat and what they eat because I have decided to have surgery doesn't seem reasonable or fair to me.

Kelly

watfam4 · 11-03-2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poet_kelly

I personally see a big difference between asking Mike not to leave candy bars lying around the house where they might tempt me and asking him never to eat a candy bar in front of me. If there is junk food lying around all day when I am home alone, I might have a hard time resisting it. But if he is eating a candy bar and I am sitting here, I am not going to grab it out of his hand and eat it. I do have that much self-control.

I even see a difference in asking someone not to eat pizza in front of me while I am on a two-week liquid diet and asking them to never eat pizza in front of me again. Asking for help or support seems reasonable and fair to me. But asking someone else to totally change how they eat and what they eat because I have decided to have surgery doesn't seem reasonable or fair to me.

Kelly

Well Said!

Ladyluck82 · 11-03-2009, 01:19 PM

I dont think it is even a case of wanting to grab a candy bar out of my patners hand, I think it about support. Fair enough for the people who dont mind their partners eating junk food in front of you then there is no issue.

But if you do mind and you are struggling and you are unhappy then how much effort does it take from the person who loves you the most not to eat pizza,chocolate, candy or whatever in front of you all the time when they can quite easily eat it elsewhere with no pain or upset to you!

My husband and I had a discussion before I had surgery about what food we would have in the house and how if he wanted to eat any of my trigger foods then he wouldnt eat them around me. Its not a great hardship for him and he is happy to do it. However it would be a massive hardship for me if I was gagging for dime bar and he was eating in right next to me!

Maybe its something that people should discuss before they have surgery.

YvetteRene · 11-03-2009, 01:42 PM

I realize that everyone's definition of "junk food" may differ, but I have a question for those of you who are further out than me (only three weeks out here).

What kinds of fast food/junk food do you eat? I guess I thought that everything was fair game after a while as long as you don't over-do it. I'm not saying I want to have pizza every other night, but is it okay to have a piece or two and mainly just eat the toppings? I know that bread is not good because it fills you up and is a carb.

Also, what about having a cheeseburger out and just limiting how much of the bun you consume?

I guess I'm just trying to gauge how much eating out I can do because that has always been a big part of our life. Not saying I'm not willing to change. Obviously I am willing to change because I've taken a huge step in that direction. I'm just trying to get an idea of how far I need to take it.

I really appreciate all the input I get from these boards, so thanks in advance.

OsoDelDesierto · 11-03-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YvetteRene

I realize that everyone's definition of "junk food" may differ, but I have a question for those of you who are further out than me (only three weeks out here).

What kinds of fast food/junk food do you eat? I guess I thought that everything was fair game after a while as long as you don't over-do it. I'm not saying I want to have pizza every other night, but is it okay to have a piece or two and mainly just eat the toppings? I know that bread is not good because it fills you up and is a carb.

Also, what about having a cheeseburger out and just limiting how much of the bun you consume?

I guess I'm just trying to gauge how much eating out I can do because that has always been a big part of our life. Not saying I'm not willing to change. Obviously I am willing to change because I've taken a huge step in that direction. I'm just trying to get an idea of how far I need to take it.

I really appreciate all the input I get from these boards, so thanks in advance.

To me, "junk food" is food that does not nourish my body, including food that provides simple carbs or sugars, saturated fats, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, artificial ingredients, or other things that my body does not need or want for its good health and proper functioning, ingredients which outweigh whatever nutrients the food might contain. I used to eat such foods almost exclusively, pre-op, but as my journey progresses, I'm trying to move in the direction of only eating foods that nourish my body.

Do I always do so? Hell to the NO!

I can eat basically anything now, healthy and unhealthy (including recent consumption of lots of mini-sized Halloween candy

), so it's up to me to keep moving in the right direction toward healthy eating habits and away from unhealthy ones.

For example, I still eat pizza. Love pizza. But, I do it differently post-op. Usually, I get it from a place that has a super-thin cracker crust, like a crispy tortilla, and I eat a lot less of it than I used to, whereas pre-op, I loved super-thick deep dish or pan crusts and would eat massive quantities with heavy, fatty toppings. Oftentimes now, if I'm eating a thicker crust pizza, I'll pull the cheese and toppings off of a slice or two to eat and then throw the crust away, or will take a small bite of crust only. It works for me - I get to eat something that I enjoy, that provides me with protein, veggies, and hopefully not too much saturated fat, but in a way that's saner than my old eating habits. This doesn't work for everyone, however - for some post-ops, it may be necessary to give up foods that are triggers for binge-eating. There are things that I don't bring in the house, or risk the pain and remorse of a binge. If pizza was such a trigger food, some of us avoid it completely.

I don't do fast foods much anymore, but am a big fan of Wendy's chili, Subway chicken breast flatbread sandwiches (although the fatbread is still a bit too doughy), and Jimmy John's unwiches (just wrapped in lettuce) and sandwiches (on 7-grain wheat, not the French roll).

At three weeks out, it's not something you'll be dealing with much, since your meals are pretty regimented, but as you continue on your journey over the coming months and years, you will be shaping sane, sensible, and nutritious eating habits to fuel and nourish your body, and you will find what works best for achieving and maintaining a healthy body and healthy weight. Best wishes!

poet_kelly · 11-03-2009, 04:01 PM

Depends on what exactly you mean by junk food. I eat pizza on occasion. Oh, maybe once a month. I usually have one slice. Maybe 1 1/2 slices, if they're kind of small.

I think a cheeseburger without the bun is fine. If it's a McDonald's cheeseburger, it's probably kind of fatty. So I might not eat it too often.

I eat out a lot. My partner and I always have. I do cook a lot more now than I used to, but we still eat out a lot. There are plenty of healthy options you can get in restaurants. Like yesterday, we went to Bob Evans. I had part of a cheese omlet. I also ate 1/2 a biscuit with butter. A few days ago we went to Chipotle. I had a vegetarian burrito bowl, with a little rice, black beans, veggies, salsa, and cheese (skipped the guacamole, too much fat). I don't really think of these things as junk food, though.

Junk food, to me, is Cheezits and Pringles and stuff. And candy. I've had Cheezits a few times since surgery. I bought one box, and discovered I was not very good at eating them in moderation. So now I don't buy them. I dump on sugar, so I stay away from candy.

Kelly

mistymee · 11-03-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UndercoverDiva

I also don't agree with mandating what can or cannot be brought home to eat. If I do the grocery shopping, I buy what I want and I don't buy junk. If he goes, I don't dictate what can and cannot be put into the cart, especially when he's paying for it. Besides, nothing he buys, what I consider to be junk, is anything I would eat...garlic-filled olives, for one! *Bleeeeccchhh*

Quote:

Originally Posted by mistymee

It is much easier to say you don't agree when it is stuff that isn't a trigger food for you. When it is, it's a whole different story.

Except for the fact that there are times he does buy things I would like, but just don't think I should eat. Corn is one of those things. I love corn, but don't eat it. If I start, I won't stop. I do enjoy watching him savor it, though!

Well, in the first post you said nothing he buys is stuff you want, so I was replying to that.

It's okay, I've been known to be contradictory at times as well. But it is contradictory.

My orig. point though is that if someone cares about you they'll care whether something they do causes negative feelings or whatever. Hubby does care so he doesn't do it. There are things that I do for him, just different things. It works for us.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OsoDelDesierto

To me, "junk food" is food that does not nourish my body, including food that provides simple carbs or sugars, saturated fats, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, artificial ingredients, or other things that my body does not need or want for its good health and proper functioning, ingredients which outweigh whatever nutrients the food might contain. I used to eat such foods almost exclusively, pre-op, but as my journey progresses, I'm trying to move in the direction of only eating foods that nourish my body.

Do I always do so? Hell to the NO!

I can eat basically anything now, healthy and unhealthy (including recent consumption of lots of mini-sized Halloween candy

), so it's up to me to keep moving in the right direction toward healthy eating habits and away from unhealthy ones.

For example, I still eat pizza. Love pizza. But, I do it differently post-op. Usually, I get it from a place that has a super-thin cracker crust, like a crispy tortilla, and I eat a lot less of it than I used to, whereas pre-op, I loved super-thick deep dish or pan crusts and would eat massive quantities with heavy, fatty toppings. Oftentimes now, if I'm eating a thicker crust pizza, I'll pull the cheese and toppings off of a slice or two to eat and then throw the crust away, or will take a small bite of crust only. It works for me - I get to eat something that I enjoy, that provides me with protein, veggies, and hopefully not too much saturated fat, but in a way that's saner than my old eating habits. This doesn't work for everyone, however - for some post-ops, it may be necessary to give up foods that are triggers for binge-eating. There are things that I don't bring in the house, or risk the pain and remorse of a binge. If pizza was such a trigger food, some of us avoid it completely.

I don't do fast foods much anymore, but am a big fan of Wendy's chili, Subway chicken breast flatbread sandwiches (although the fatbread is still a bit too doughy), and Jimmy John's unwiches (just wrapped in lettuce) and sandwiches (on 7-grain wheat, not the French roll).

At three weeks out, it's not something you'll be dealing with much, since your meals are pretty regimented, but as you continue on your journey over the coming months and years, you will be shaping sane, sensible, and nutritious eating habits to fuel and nourish your body, and you will find what works best for achieving and maintaining a healthy body and healthy weight. Best wishes!

Good post. And I love that damn subway flat-bread. My pouch finds it too much. *sigh* lol.

poet_kelly · 11-03-2009, 04:31 PM

I do think it's something that should probably be talked about before surgery. Certainly if it bothers you if someone eats certain things around you, you have every right to ask them not to. We all the right to ask for whatever it is we want or need. Asking doesn't always mean we'll get it, though. But we can certainly ask. And hopefully the people who care about us will not want to make life hard for us and will try to accommodate us.

I just look at it a lot like being a vegetarian. I have not eaten meat in about 25 years. But I don't expect others not to eat meat around me. I don't expect to all become vegetarians just because I am.

Kelly

SweetP · 11-03-2009, 06:11 PM

I'm so thankful that my husband and I are doing WLS together (surgeries are 3 weeks apart). It's been so much easier doing it together.