Food animosity towards your partner. - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

poet_kelly · 11-01-2009, 09:14 AM

I do get disgusted watching the amount of food people eat sometimes. That's my problem, not theirs, of course. And um, I used to be right there with them shoveling it in. But have you been to a buffet? I don't do buffets much anymore because, well, what would be the point? Pay $10 for one cup of food? But a couple times I have been going out with a group of people and they all wanted to do a buffet. Good God! It's sickening, really.

Kelly

Ladyluck82 · 11-01-2009, 11:53 AM

Well I told my husband if he wants to eat crap then he can eat it out of the house like at work!

I can eat a lot of things I shouldnt be able to eat so its really hard for me if they are in the house.
He is fine with this because he wants me to be healthy and he paid for my op so Im guessing he doesnt want it to have been a waste of money.

It does REALLY p*ss me off when I go out to eat with people and they are like 'ooh just have a little piece of this, it wont hurt, just a taste' or some such rubbish.
I also find if I have just eaten I cant even watch people shovelling food down their gobs,makes me feel sick so I just leave. I think its normal too feel like that.

Soon people will stop inviting me out to dinner and then it wont have a problem

ShaynaB · 11-01-2009, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynette

What DOES piss me off something fierce is when I have plenty of food in the house for them and they take ALL of the ONE freaking thing in the fridge that I can eat

Like my 16yo was really craving burritos from our fav Mexican place so we got take out and I ordered a side of beans for myself. I wasn't hungry so put them in the fridge and she ate half of her burrito. The next morning rather than eat the other half, she ate my beans for breakfast. Ugh!

My family does this too! I'll go to the store and get whatever's on the grocery list, plus things I know I can eat and the next day when I go to make some food all the stuff I bought specifically because I can't eat a lot of the other food in the house is gone... I'm pretty sure it's that my 19 year old brother likes the food I buy for me for some reason? haha I started remembering to buy more of it so he wouldn't eat all of it before I could get some.

I put chili into my eggs and I'll open a can of the stuff, put a spoonful onto a scrambled egg, put the rest into the fridge and come back the next day and it's completely gone. Sometimes it's annoying to open a new can every day! (And not so cheap, either!) Gotta love family!

The two things I haven't seen my family touch are my protein shakes and my tofu.

pbeck91 · 11-02-2009, 07:20 PM

This is how I feel on the subject...my husband and I are a team and we should support each other on things. When I had the surgery he was supportive of that but I guess he doesn't understand that being supportive of the "whole picture" involves him not eating junk in front of me. It especially bothered me after I had the surgery for about a month. He was eating pizza, ordering chinese, eating a snickers bar in the car while we're driving (so i'm stuck in the car smelling chocolate, my one true love). And yes, I was really angry with him for doing that. Now that i'm almost three months out it doesn't bother me like it used to. But yesterday when he sat in the chair next to me and ate almost a whole bag of doritos, crunching with his mouth open I wanted to smack him! LOL

Highlandlass · 11-02-2009, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbeck91

This is how I feel on the subject...my husband and I are a team and we should support each other on things. When I had the surgery he was supportive of that but I guess he doesn't understand that being supportive of the "whole picture" involves him not eating junk in front of me. It especially bothered me after I had the surgery for about a month. He was eating pizza, ordering chinese, eating a snickers bar in the car while we're driving (so i'm stuck in the car smelling chocolate, my one true love). And yes, I was really angry with him for doing that. Now that i'm almost three months out it doesn't bother me like it used to. But yesterday when he sat in the chair next to me and ate almost a whole bag of doritos, crunching with his mouth open I wanted to smack him! LOL

Oh, I know that feeling oh so well! Practise restraint - spousal abuse is not allowed (lol). My hubby does that sometimes too - gets so into eating he doesn't even realize how he is munching and chewing - and he stays fit and trim. Just not fair is it?

UndercoverDiva · 11-02-2009, 08:28 PM

It really doesn't bother me when my SO eats crap in front of me because I can't eat it. What does bother me is that he SHOULDN'T be eating the crap for his own health reasons. He's overweight and diabetic. He has absolutely NO business eating the crap he does. That's what bothers me.

Ladyluck82 · 11-03-2009, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbeck91

This is how I feel on the subject...my husband and I are a team and we should support each other on things. When I had the surgery he was supportive of that but I guess he doesn't understand that being supportive of the "whole picture" involves him not eating junk in front of me. It especially bothered me after I had the surgery for about a month. He was eating pizza, ordering chinese, eating a snickers bar in the car while we're driving (so i'm stuck in the car smelling chocolate, my one true love). And yes, I was really angry with him for doing that. Now that i'm almost three months out it doesn't bother me like it used to. But yesterday when he sat in the chair next to me and ate almost a whole bag of doritos, crunching with his mouth open I wanted to smack him! LOL

Well im suprised you havent said anything to him, sounds to me like he is being a bit harsh. I mean orderering in chinese! and eating snickers when he knows you love them!

If my husband was an alcoholics then I wouldnt have alcohol in the house and sit there and get wasted in front of him. I dont see how food adiction is any different! No one HAS to eat junk food, but if he does want to then surely he can eat it when he is not around you?

poet_kelly · 11-03-2009, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UndercoverDiva

It really doesn't bother me when my SO eats crap in front of me because I can't eat it. What does bother me is that he SHOULDN'T be eating the crap for his own health reasons. He's overweight and diabetic. He has absolutely NO business eating the crap he does. That's what bothers me.

Actually, this does bother me too, sometimes. My partner is overweight and he is always saying he wants to lose weight, but then he is always eating candy bars. I just keep reminding myself of how many years he watched me eat tons of crap and never said anything. It's just not up to me to make him eat healthy. I don't have control over it. And it wouldn't be fair for me to try to control what he eats, I don't think. I certainly wouldn't have liked it if he had tried to control what I ate before I decided to have surgery.

Kelly

Ladyluck82 · 11-03-2009, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poet_kelly

Actually, this does bother me too, sometimes. My partner is overweight and he is always saying he wants to lose weight, but then he is always eating candy bars. I just keep reminding myself of how many years he watched me eat tons of crap and never said anything. It's just not up to me to make him eat healthy. I don't have control over it. And it wouldn't be fair for me to try to control what he eats, I don't think. I certainly wouldn't have liked it if he had tried to control what I ate before I decided to have surgery.

Kelly

I dont see it as not being fair to be concerned when you other half is eating crap and shouldnt be, some people just cant help themselves, I know I couldnt. If you are saying it for his health then personally I think it is more unfair to say nothing.

I would have loved it if any of my friends or family would have said to me 'dont eat that, why dont you have some of this instead' then maybe I wouldnt have got so big! Instead everyone bought me chocolates and cakes and cooked me massive meals cos they knew I liked it!

Also I think if my husband had said 'dont eat that' instead of keeping schtum I wouldnt have eaten so much crap! I did feel like I had Carte Blanche to eat whatever I liked cos no one said anything.
I have said this too him and he said he thought in his head I shouldnt be eating that, but thought it was making me happy to eat it so left me be. As an adult I should have been able to monitor my own food intake but I coulndt/didnt for whatever reason people become obese in the first place.
I just wish someone had told me 'no'

eyesthatkissu · 11-03-2009, 07:40 AM

Remember, food is our addiction. Therefore we treat it as such. Imagine how hard it would be for you to tell a crack addict, "You MUST have crack 6 times a day, but only this much, an only this kind of crack." It sounds ludacris but as food addicts that is what is presented to us. But this food addiction is OUR issue. Sure we want support, but angrer is not the most productive emotion when you are trying to garner said support.

After a time your body does adjust and your cravings do change. Soon you'll most likely find yourself not even wanting those things you covet now. Just try and not hold a grudge. You wouldn't want to strain your relationship over food. Hasn't food caused you enough hardship in your life already?

On a side note, once MO alwys MO, I still hide my favorite foods from my family. I'll come home from the grocery store and announce, "This is mine! You eat it you die!" Triumphantly holding up a tube of Pringles that it takes me 3 months to eat.