the "talk" I've been dreading... - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

cmb0411 · 06-28-2009, 10:33 PM

Hi everyone! So...I had my surgery about 6 months ago..down 72lbs..very happy...anyways...

So about 3 months ago I went on this date with this guy I met...and it was fun...but in all honesty I was not ready to date yet...we chatted a few times after that..but never really met up again. But then out of nowhere a few weeks ago I got a message from him saying he'd love to meet up again. So we did...what the hell right?

Well...we've been on several dates..and he knew I had lost weight..and obvisously I had lost weight since the last time he saw me (3 months before), and then it happened...we were talking about it one night...and he didn't ask me how I did it, but I know he was wondering..and he had also made comments on how I eat...soooooo....I bit the bullet...and told him...everything...

He took it AMAZINGLY!!!! I couldn't believe how well he took it...he just said..that he's glad I'm happy!! He of course had lots of questions...which I answered...but it gave me faith in men again! I just know this is something that is in the back of all us single girl's minds! But I'm glad I was honest with him...I'm sure not all guys are as understanding..but I just wanted to share with everyone! There are still GOOD guys out there!

mburgs · 06-28-2009, 10:48 PM

Aww, congratulations! Glad it went well!!

trish29 · 06-28-2009, 10:53 PM

For this :-)

I'm going on two months with a new guy. We've seen each other the last SIX nights in a row. I've had some awkward food moments and I really want to tell him. I've lost like 18 lbs since we met.

I feel like if I like him this much and he's been great about everything else, he'll be great about this too. But we shall see. I'm not gonna tell him tonight.....but maybe soon. I'll keep you posted.

Congrats on a good guy Courtney!

cmb0411 · 06-28-2009, 11:03 PM

Thanks guys! It was really hard to do! Trish good luck! I just kept telling myself that if he likes me...it won't matter! Let me know how it goes!

Baja Big Dog · 06-28-2009, 11:21 PM

OK, I wasnt gonna post, but I gotta do it....

What would you guys expect us (men) to do or say? You have done something remarkable, and you have done something that you need the credit you deserve, especially from a potential life partner, so again, what would you expect him to say.

I realize its a lot different for women, and us guys (or I do) just lay it out there right off the bat, and if they can handle it, so be it, but I realize men could probably be a little more judgmental? Doubtful...and like it or not, even if your not into it for the sex, you eventually need to break the ice and prepare the partner for what they are about to see.

cmb0411 · 06-29-2009, 07:32 AM

Baja...I totally agree with you...I told him because I was 99.99% he would be ok with it, but it was something that was hard for me to do! And people...not just men, can be pretty shallow at times, or not very understanding. I didn't expect him to go running for the door..haha...but I did expect there to be some surprise and questions..which there were...but it turned out great. I told him within the first week of knowing each other, only because if there was a problem, I wanted to know b4 things got any more serious. He was so supportive, I just wanted to share my story, incase other people are having trouble telling someone.

Cecile · 06-29-2009, 07:42 AM

I am so for you that he is supportive. Not all men are Butt Heads!

Baja Big Dog · 06-29-2009, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmb0411

Baja...I totally agree with you...I told him because I was 99.99% he would be ok with it, but it was something that was hard for me to do! And people...not just men, can be pretty shallow at times, or not very understanding. I didn't expect him to go running for the door..haha...but I did expect there to be some surprise and questions..which there were...but it turned out great. I told him within the first week of knowing each other, only because if there was a problem, I wanted to know b4 things got any more serious. He was so supportive, I just wanted to share my story, incase other people are having trouble telling someone.

One thing you will find is that this a great conversation subject, you know those uncomfy first few dates, when you dont really want to say the wrong thing, or you have those moments with conversation "stall"!!

Ill bet the men take it better than the women, only a guess.....

watfam4 · 06-29-2009, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baja Big Dog

OK, I wasnt gonna post, but I gotta do it....

What would you guys expect us (men) to do or say? You have done something remarkable, and you have done something that you need the credit you deserve, especially from a potential life partner, so again, what would you expect him to say.

I was thinking the same thing.

I'd consider anyone (not just men) who would react to this information negatively as having a serious character flaw. If you have to "ease" a potential BF/GF into this knowledge for fear that they may think of you badly, they are not worth your time.

katzz87 · 06-29-2009, 11:17 AM

Okay, I don't feel to "un-normal"...I was thinking "What is the big deal about having had WLS?" so I guess I'm "one of the guys" on this topic. Maybe I've been in a committed relationship too long, but there's nothing wrong with having had WLS...now if I had a contagious mutating virus or something...THEN I'd be concerned with letting someone know.