So irritated! - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

momgreen · 06-28-2009, 10:27 PM

I went to my nephews birthday yesterday and, it was at a huge trampoline place. So, I no sooner get in the front door and my sister in law says "Oh, Amy, they offer aerobics classes here, I want you to do it with me!" I smiled at her and thanked her for the offer and then told her that I need to lose a few pounds first because right now, my knees hurt, and quite frankly, I am embarassed. She looked at me and said "oh, thats right...your just gonna go have surgery and not have to work to lose weight." I was so pissed off at her. How dare she make an assumption like that. I WILL have to work at it. This is not a magic cure all and, I am not going into it with that attitude or I will fail. Then my grandma starts in on me. "I really wish you would just try weight watchers and do this the real way." I don't know how many times they want to see me yo-yo diet. I have done Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Curves, NutriSystem, Over Eaters Annonymous, Phen-Phen, Phentermine alone, on and on. I have done nothing but damage my metabolism, my heart, and my spirit. I gain it all back PLUS SOME!! It is so hard to go into this with my close family being so uneducated about the process. They want to hear nothing about it. How do I make them understand? I just don't know how. My husband is wonderful and he has been to groups with me and asked questions to get a better understanding. I am so thankful I have him but, I am so close to my family and they don't get it! I turn to you guys because I know this is not all too uncommon and I hope someone has some words of wisdom for me!

mburgs · 06-28-2009, 10:53 PM

Grrrrrrrr

Wait until she sees what's in store for you though! I've posted before my sister is skinny and we had an argument, she didn't say anything as overtly hurtful but the intent was obvious.

So sorry she said that! Hopefully you can bring her around, but it also shows you who supports you and has done their research!

Lynette · 06-29-2009, 12:19 AM

Tell them that diets have a horrendous failure rate (or else why would WW be a multi-million dollar company?) and you are pursuing the most successful method out there of sustained weight loss which most definitely requires work. Then tell them your weight is none of their damn business.

deputymauldin · 06-29-2009, 01:52 AM

I know exactly how you feel. My mother has not been supportive. She won't hear anything about it and continues to tell me to go to the gym or get the lap band. I finally told her that I want to live to have kids, I want to be healthy and I was doing with her blessing or without. She is starting to come around. I think she is just scared but I can't let it bother me anymore. Good Luck

j.marie · 06-29-2009, 11:43 AM

People are such jack asses, and i am sorry I dont have any words of wisdom for you BUT YOU GOT US AND WE SUPPORT YOU

(I know its not the same but i am here for you luv)

momgreen · 06-29-2009, 11:50 AM

It is the same and, I thank you! You are all right, I need to just tell them to mind their own business. I just wish it was as easy as it sounds to do. I appreciate your support, thank you so much!

watfam4 · 06-29-2009, 12:02 PM

WE get it. But unfortunately there are many who do not. And it is doubly unfortunate when the these people are also your relatives.

Don't beat your head against the wall trying to educate everyone. I have found that sometimes people just need time. Once they start to see the transformation, the doubters will start to become believers (you'll see).

Native2u · 06-29-2009, 12:14 PM

Oh.....those are fighting words for me!!

I hate when people "assume" that its the easy way out. It's NOT that easy at all....it is so hard, and NOT just for 1-2 or even 3 days of your life....it's every single day!!

ragazzarosa · 06-29-2009, 12:23 PM

F them. Seriously.

If I had the presence of mind at the time (I'd probably be too mad, but you can save it). I'd say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way."

You can add other stuff like "I know you've seen me struggling with my weight for a long time and I'd appreciate your support."

or you can get snottier.

Once they see you losing they'll be eating those unsupportive words.

ragazzarosa · 06-29-2009, 12:24 PM

ooh oooh - I just thought of Miss Manner's response to rude comments. She says to say "excuse me?" to the person, make them repeat it, and then just smile politely and say nothing.