Detox week! - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

kittens4 · 07-01-2008, 04:12 AM

Thank you my sweet friends! I love you all! It's currently 4am and I'm typing to you...if that's any indication on how the detox is going. I haven't heard of detox baths, but am going to check them out. Heck, I'll try anything that will help me! I woke up at 3 am. feeling pretty good, but a little achey. I have the worse period cramps also, which doesn't help matters. I've been watching Child's Play 2 on HBO. It's awesome. I love that little Chuckie!!! I'm glad I'm off work, because I think my sleep patterns might be a bit messed up for awhile. I did take a .25 xanax a bit ago, along with a 5/500 Vicodin, so once that kicks in, things should improve. I'll probably be asleep again by 6am. I just have to space the other pills out longer in the day. I ordered 3 movies from Netlix which should arrive today. I'm going to keep busy today and try not to sit in the house watching the clock until I can take my next pill! I think I can amuse myself with shopping, Starbucks, and perhaps exercise. My doctor said it's important to exercise..

so I guess I'll do it under protest...

Thank you all for being there and for the PM offerings. It means a lot of have your support....even though we haven't met, I feel very close to you. Well, I'd better go back to the movie to see Chuckie kick ass!!! Have a great day! I'll be posting a lot this week, since I'm off, and have nothing but time on my hands. I do love my job,. but not working is so nice too!!!

Tambo · 07-01-2008, 06:57 AM

One day at a time. Admitting your problem is the first big step. Keep your self active and you can do this.

OsoDelDesierto · 07-01-2008, 07:04 AM

Elaine, I'm so proud of you for doing this! Many blessings to you.

I'll echo the "one day at a time" suggestion you've already heard and add that you can take it one hour, one minute, or one second at a time, if a whole day seems even too much to handle right now, as it does for many early in recovery. In addition to your meeting at your church, NA may have other meetings in your area and even meetings online that you might like...

I've been clean and sober for a fair amount of time, so I'm very willing to share my experience, strength, and hope about this topic with you, if you ever want to talk - feel free to PM me for my contact info! Big hugs!

Josephine · 07-01-2008, 07:43 AM

Good luck! Consider yourself lucky. It could be worse... I've detoxed twice from oxycontin and that's just like medical heroin. I'm down to 1-2 10mg pills a day and very proud of myself. If RNY cured fibromyalgia I'd be signing up this second, but I just keep hearing "It won't make a difference but being lighter will help you deal with it better."

princesse · 07-01-2008, 08:45 AM

wow...I don't know what to say, sweetie. Makes me step back & look at my life.
Thanks for being brave..
Nancy

Duckie · 07-01-2008, 11:12 AM

Again, I am so proud of you hon. I know first hand how hard this is. It is the best thing I have ever done for myself. My life is so much better now.
I love you sweetie. Hang in there. You can do this. I know you can. PM me any time you want.

Jeanie · 07-01-2008, 11:28 AM

I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world that you get thru this with as little trauma as possible. You are doing the best thing that you can for yourself, and EVERYONE should be proud of you for doing what you are doing to get your life on track. Keep up the good work.
Oh and walking around the mall is a form of exercise right?

AlabamaChick · 07-01-2008, 01:38 PM

Elaine, I just saw this, but I wanted you to know just how proud I am of you! I am so happy you have decided to take control of this and give it the ending you want and need. You are a super special person to some of us here too and we all know that "Mama can do this"! You're too strong of a person to not be able to handle this small lil problem which seems huge right now, but will fade with time. Good luck sweetie......we are here for you. (((((BIG HUGS))))))) coming your way.

kittens4 · 07-01-2008, 10:49 PM

Mama had a major set back today!!! I took way more pills than scheduled. How it happened was when I went to my step-daughters house for lunch. She wasn't there, I was taking her sister, who is visiting from California, to lunch!!! I was in her bathroom, and there, staring me in the face, was a bottle of Hydrocodone. Me, with bad menstral cramps, general back ache, and being the addict I am...I took 5 of them! I called her immediatley and confessed!!! She felt really bad for leaving them there, knowing my situation and the temptation. She told me she was flushing them! (I hope she doesn't do that, but do hope she hides them better!) I feel so bad about it, and I realize that I just have to accept it, move on, and do my best to not let it happen again. I didn't tell my husband though...and I'm not sure why I haven't....but just couldn't for some reason. I'm sure I will tell him soon, but not tonight....I just don't feel I am ready to discuss it with him. I have a hard time discussing this whole pill problem with him. I guess I hate to be a disappointment...or have him think less of me. I'm not sure what the deal is there..(more therapy required). He's not the judgemental type...he's made lots of mistakes over the years, but for some reason I try to protect him from this. I guess because I put him through so much worry after gastric bypass...I just don't want him to worry any more! Does that make sense???? Or am I nuts???? I am ashamed that I've let this pill thing get so out of hand!
On the upside.....yes, there is one.....I did some cleaning this afternoon, and showered again, got cute, and went to a dual recovery meeting tonight at church...it was great!! Nice to know there are others like me who have emotional/mental issues as well as substance abuse issues. I didn't realize there was such a thing as dual recovery meetings! There were 11 of us at the meeting..and they were all like me...most have anxiety/panic disorder, 1 was bipolar, 1 was OCD, and they also have issues w/opiates/alcohol/meth/or pot. Some have been clean/sober for years, others for months, days, and 1 other lady and I are currently on the slow track to detox....

Her thing is alcohol and pot. She's on a bunch of psyche meds also. I actually felt better after the meeting....sharing my story...getting some advice, and knowing there are others out there...like me....and worse....it gave me hope that I can get through this. It's not going to be easy, but it can, and will be done!!! Well, I did get Starbucks after my meeting, so am wired for sound now. That and the 11 pills I took today!!! Shit!! I thought I was doing so well only taking 4 yesterday....well, tomorrow I'm staying on schedule, and am not leaving home.....I just need to stay here, do my treadmill, watch movies, clean, and not go out where the "triggers" are. Mama is putting herself in isolation until I can get a few days under my belt...it's the only way!!!

Wish me luck.....I'll keep you posted. It's nice to be accountalbe to you guys and to be totally honest....it helps me more than you can know. Love ya! xoxo
p.s. I called to get my labs from yesterday (an advantage to working for doctors) and everything is perfect except for the BUN and Creatnine are slightly elevated. Probably dehydration....no need for panic....so I'm pushing the fluids, and with less Vicodin, I think the kidney function should bounce back to normal. I think my lower back ache (which is gone after 11 Vicodin) is either my kidneys or constipation. I will get that under control in the next day or so w/adequate fluids and Miralax!!! I'm just so grateful that no liver damage was done from the massive tylenol....I am also happy that my iron is back in normal range....so the suppliments are doing their job! Woohooo!!!!

Momof3 · 07-01-2008, 11:04 PM

Good Luck Girl!! You can do it.

We are all here to support you...Hey, how many other strangers from all over the world can you gladly share your real weight with and know they wont judge..only encourage and support.

This is no different.

Praying for you