Size acceptance - ThinnerTimes

FutureFitGirly · 05-12-2008, 08:36 AM

Hi Everyone!

I saw a show and wanted to talk about it...

On the Tyra show (I know, I know....but I was bored) they had a show on Size Acceptance. Most of it was sexual. Chubby chasers that type of thing. But these women (and only women, no men) were very large. 500-600 pounds. Very extreme, could hardly walk. And they are fighting for size acceptance. Saying they are NOT unhealthy at all and are just big. This is a problem, right!? These women are walking time bombs!! How can they be in such denial?? It's one thing to want peoples respect. Theres NEVER a reason to name call when a heavy person walks by you. But to fight and say that they are so healthy and this is they way they choose to live is a croc!

Any thoughts?

Crie · 05-12-2008, 10:23 AM

well.. i'm a big big girl..

And other than my PCOS issues, i'm relatively healthy for being my size. However, I'm not happy and KNOW that with more time and more weight that keeps packing on.. i wouldn't be ok. I knew that ok.. i'm 29.. no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol.. but for how long? I've been lucky up until now, and want to do something to prevent it in the future.

Its one thing to be comfortable and secure in yourself.. that's wonderful. But self delusional is another

fisher1000 · 05-12-2008, 10:38 AM

Personal Opinion and Scientific Fact are often on opposite ends of the street. It's very difficult to change the mind of someone who's mind is already made up. IF these women believe that they are healthy, then they will defend that with all they have. A doctor could even disagree, but in their minds, they seem to be happy with who they are. We are all like this to a point, on a continuum I'm sure, and have our own attitudes and beliefs about how things are. The reality may be completely different. It's easy for an outsider to identify these misconceptions in reality in others, but that identification is not going to change someone else's behaviors. As I get older, I know that the important thing is to just be as supportive as you can comfortably be and just let people live their lives. Happiness is relative, and so is knowledge. It might break our hearts to see what some people do to themselves, but we can't take on the responsibility of trying to change them, or to put energy into changing their minds. We've got our own problems, right?

It is frustrating, though, to see programs like that and know that that kind of lifestyle is being perpetuated. We are extra sensitive to it, because of the journeys we are on and we know where these women are headed. It's sad, and unfortunately beyond our control.

-Mike

JumboJulie · 05-12-2008, 11:38 AM

I can kinda understand where these women are coming from ...
I topped out at 310 pounds and had diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. But because I could walk around the mall and carry a 50 pound bag of cement over one shoulder, I felt I was 'okay'. I knew I wasn't the healthiest, but I would say I was healthy, I was 'fine'. Deep down I knew I was a mess ... it's just not always easy to admit.
Before surgery I walked 2 miles a day ... but that took me 4 seperate trips at 1/2 mile each. And I thought wow ... I can walk 2 miles! I'm okay! But now, just 2 months after surgery I walk 3 miles every day (all at one time!) AND I ride my bike for an hour a day on top of it. So now I look back and can clearly see that there really was nothing 'healthy' about me. And the stronger and leaner I get, the healthier I get.
I don't know ... maybe it's a combination of denial AND hindsight.

JumboJulie · 05-12-2008, 11:40 AM

Hey Mike ... I vote you change your avatar back to the one with you and your daughter!!! I miss seeing that little angel face

CiCi · 05-12-2008, 12:09 PM

Before considering surgery, I know I told myself over and over that I was healthy and perfectly fine with the way I was. I probably wouldn't have gone on national TV and said it, but I told the people around me. Mostly, I just tried to convince myself.

We do what we have to do to make ourselves feel better. It's part of daily life. Instead of groveling around in self-pity, insecurities and depression, we deal with what we are and make the best of it. Who could expect any less? Who wants to wake up each morning and hate who we are and what we look and feel like? Who wants to sit around and think constantly about what we wish we were. Instead, we settle and get comfortable with it.

We tell ourselves we aren't as fat as we are, aren't as broke as we are, aren't as lonely as we are, etc. It's how we cope.

Then, at some point, at least for those of us on this board, the bottom falls out. We hit rock bottom and decide to take this GIANT leap called Gastric Bypass (or Lap Band) surgery.

It sounds like they haven't hit rock bottom yet. Or maybe they have and they are trying to make the best of it. Either way, I think all of us find our own coping mechanisms. I still struggle to cope about other things that are non-weight related.

lealphachienne · 05-12-2008, 02:15 PM

Hmmmm, isn't that complacency?

For me, I couldn't accept myself fat...simply wasn't who I was or wanted to be....if I can't accept it, I wouldn't want others to accept it for me either. For the few who are truly happy where they are at and what they look like for them....more power to them. They really don't need to grandstand it all over the place to prove to others that we have to accept it. However, the majority of us aren't happy with the way things are and need not feel like failures because we WANT and CHOOSE to change the way things are...even if it's extreme to someone else.

American right...the pursuit of happiness.....

pebitpeb · 05-12-2008, 03:11 PM

Hey Megan, I just wanted to say first that I love Tyra, especially on America's Next Top Model. Ok now that that's said.........

I think denial, comes from fear, comes from guilt, comes from protecting, comes from hoping... and many other jumbled emotions that are swimming inside the head of someone who is obese. I did not see this show, however I can so much relate to what the woman were saying about themselves.

When I was 38, weighing around 412 lbs, I was believing that I was uniquely special because I was healthy, no high blood pressure, good chlolestral, I walked the trails at my favorite nature places, traveled and did what I wanted in life. That feeling was my public feeling, the feeling I told myself over and over to find the courage to go out my front door and dare to live inside the body I so much hated. Like previously stated, I did what I needed to survive and make myself feel better inside, even if it was a lie. Then at 39 came infections in my abdominal fat layers that put me in the hospital, diabetis that was dangerously out of control and put me in the hospital, eccelerated artheritis in my hips that took away my freedom of movement, my body had finally been caught up with and I still told myself I was healthy and that I could loose the weight to show the world I was in control. Again more denial and self defeating protecting.

My heart goes out to others who struggle in this manner and I think today I would have to say when I look back, for me this was a real disease in itself, one that only an operation like laproscopic gastric bypass could bring down the mountain I had built up and make way to finding the path to true and real happiness, confidence and freedom from a nightmare that I kept on my body.

pebitpeb
Paul

FutureFitGirly · 05-12-2008, 03:43 PM

Hi Paul.

I agree 100%!

I am 25 and 430 pounds at 5'6. I have always been heavy, my whole life. Eating is the way I deal with EVERYTHING, it's my drug of choice. I do need the tool (GBP) to continue living my life.

Like I said I have always been heavy. I could out run my skinny older brother any day of the week when we were growing up. I had tons of energy and never felt fat until I looked in a mirror. To this day I dont feel as fat as I am. But I never thought it was OK to be this heavy, I just couldnt fix it myself. Then last year I had some medical problems and my world came crashing down very quickly. I am afraid for these people. I wish they would understand its dangerous to live as heavy as they are. I've always known that being over weight is unhealthy and I need to fix it. And I had to make the decision myself to have GBP. I hope these women decide that a healthy life is better. I am going to go on being the best me I can be!

Paul, You are such an inspiration!! I cant wait to join you on the loser bench!

Megan