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04-24-2008, 12:00 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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TT Master
Join Date: Sep 2007 |
Location: Upper Michigan |
Surgeon: Dr. English |
Age: 34 |
Posts: 2,971 |
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Dog/Cat Diary
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
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Kim
AKA CelebrityBear
Height 5' 8"
286/128/140
Highest/Current/Goal
Approval: Nov. 16th 2007
Surgery: Jan. 07th 2008
TT Gym Rat #85
Onderland: June Friday 13th 08
Century Club: July 17th 2008
Size 2
"You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same."
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04-24-2008, 03:03 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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TT Master
Join Date: Mar 2008 |
Location: North San Diego |
Surgeon: Dr. DumbAss |
Age: 37 |
Posts: 2,688 |
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OMG! That is soooo funny! Thanks for the big laugh today! 
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OPEN RNY: 03/06/08
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04-24-2008, 03:16 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008 |
Location: Suburban Chicago: Downers Grove, IL |
Surgeon: Dr. Jeffrey Rosen |
Age: 57 |
Posts: 471 |
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A great post! Thanks!
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GymRat #91
"I WILL review TT more frequently! I WILL, I WILL,
I WILL...  "
A Favorite quote:
You've got to be kind, dammit!"
(from Kurt Vonnegut's writings)
Check out www.uccdg.org
It's my life!
largest known wt: 379 lbs.
surgical weight, 4/16/08: 298 lbs.
current wt, 7/07/09: 203 lbs.
Doctor's goal weight: 200 lbs.
my personal goal: 160lbs
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05-01-2009, 03:28 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Newbie
Join Date: Apr 2009 |
Posts: 3 |
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Very Funny! I love my dog!
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05-01-2009, 04:01 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008 |
Location: Bend, Oregon |
Surgeon: Dr. Kelly Clinch Bellevue Washington |
Start Weight: 313 |
Current Weight: 171 |
Goal Weight: 150 |
Surgery Date: 12/18/2009 |
Age: 29 |
Posts: 1,016 |
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I have seen this before and do love it so!
And I soooo needed a laugh today, THANKS!
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Cerissa
Never regret something done with affection; something born with a true heart will never be wasted
Sometimes you have to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve.
313 / 298.5 / 169 / 150
Start/Day of surgery/Current/Goal
Surgery on 12/18/2008
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05-02-2009, 02:04 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 |
Location: Mineral Ridge, Ohio |
Surgeon: Dr. Woodruff |
Age: 38 |
Posts: 48 |
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As a hopeless doglover this is great. Thanks for sharing!
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~*~Dianna~*~
5/26/09 SURGERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!
Day of Surgery 282lbs.
6/12/09 Down 20.5 lbs ( 17 days post-op & 1st post-op weigh-in)
6/18/09 Down 23.5 lbs.
7/10/09 Down 35 lbs.
7/30/09 Down 43 lbs. (2 months post-op)
9/18/09 Down 62 lbs. YAY! 
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05-02-2009, 09:29 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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TT Master
Join Date: Nov 2007 |
Location: Phoenix, AZ |
Surgeon: Dr. Steven Simon |
Start Weight: 270 |
Current Weight: 175 |
Goal Weight: 135 |
Surgery Date: 12/18/2007 |
Posts: 5,337 |
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WHERE have you been! and how are things
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Deborah
Highest weight 268
Surgery Date: 12/18/07 Lap RNY
Current Loss: However far this journey will take me Current Weight:175 (10/26/09) and finally a SIZE 12
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05-03-2009, 10:49 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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TT Sponsor
Join Date: Jan 2009 |
Location: San Francisco, CA |
Surgeon: Dr. Gregg Jossart |
Start Weight: 230 |
Current Weight: 203 |
Goal Weight: 160 |
Surgery Date: 12/15/2008 |
Age: 39 |
Posts: 819 |
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hilarious...why do I hear the voice of the baby from Family Guy when I read the cat's diary? 
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Suzanne
Height: 5'7" (close enough ) Surgery Date: 12/15/08
DoS/Current/Surgeon's Goal/My Goal
330.8/203.4/160/135
GOALS:
Two-terville: 01/23/09
50 lbs down: 02/23/09
BMI < 40 no longer M.O.: 06/08/09
Century Club: 07/30/09
"I am even happier than Jane. She only smiles, I laugh." |
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05-03-2009, 01:53 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2009 |
Location: Michigan |
Surgeon: Dr. Baker |
Age: 34 |
Posts: 108 |
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I love it!!!
__________________
Heather
1st Dr. Apt to start 6 month diet - June 2008 - 297
Surgery - 2/9/09 - 274
3 months post op - 5/14/09 - 223.9
6 months post op - August 09
9 months post op - November 09
1 year post op - February 10
Goal - Healthy!!
100+ pounds gone FOREVER!!!!
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05-04-2009, 10:40 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009 |
Age: 45 |
Posts: 1,352 |
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lmaoo
too funny |
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