Idea I want to run by y'all - Accountability - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

splendifor · 04-01-2008, 10:47 AM

this is so true in my experience as well... there's a term for it in crisis management - called "push/push back" - if someone is in crisis and asking for help the worst thing to do is criticize/etc etc... (the harder you push the harder they push back).. a sticky in that arena would be a great idea

the safer we feel, the more likely we are to be more honest and to be open to change and to sustain the fragile flame of hope...

sdgrrl · 04-01-2008, 11:27 AM

Mike has eloquently stated my fears. How long will it take for the less tolerant folks on here to start with the blame/shame game? My hope is that we can self monitor this thread and keep the nasties in their place.

John · 04-01-2008, 01:50 PM

Hello,
I would like to thank all of you for your public and private feedback regarding this feature.

From what I've heard, this seems like it would be a helpful feature for those that wish to participate. It looks like we should try this feature as a 'pilot' program, with the following features/attributes:

This is a serious forum, and will need to have a posted policy about acceptable and unacceptable posts and responses to posts. Many of you mentioned that if you are in a vulnerable position, negative (or 'snipey') comments in a 'confessional' atmosphere must be excluded.
This must be an honest, and open atmosphere for those participating
This should be limited to registered users of TT,
- The section will not be indexed by search engines
- Users not logged into the TT Forum will not be permitted access to view posts
We can experiment at first with a few sub-categories, such as:
- Pre-op meal logs / diets
- Post-op meal logs / diets
- Evolving addictions
- etc?

Does this sufficiently address the concerns presented?

John

CeeCee · 04-01-2008, 02:07 PM

I say yes! Thank you John!

Claire-in-Texas · 04-01-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisher1000

I, too, think this is a great idea.

The only consideration would be that those that participate need to understand the purpose of this "confessional" situation and not be prone to hurting someone's feelings. There have been some on the forum that have come to us with exactly this type of need, and some members have chosen a harsher route instead of providing support.

It needs to be clear that this is a chance to "come clean" in a compassionate zone where others will offer their support and caring, rather than an opportunity to criticize (or sometimes crucify...) the person asking for help.

I love this forum, for what it's done for me, and for what I've been able to share with others. I think this idea is a great one, and helps the forum to further evolve in its scope and capabilities. If we create an area like this, I would hope that those that participated did so as an outreach approach, with caring support and nonjudgmental suggestions.

Thanks again, John--you're awesome!

-Mike

John, while I think this is a great idea in theory, I am very concerned for the attacks, both personal and judgmental. I understand about freedom of speech, and all that, but what we need is a SAFE place to be, without the feeling of being jumped on.

John · 04-01-2008, 07:15 PM

I have taken all of your thoughts into consideration, and am uploading what I hope is a well-thought out solution.

More details very shortly.

John · 04-01-2008, 07:41 PM

Okay so here's the deal.

We are moving forward with the Accountability forum, however, there are going to be a number of safeguards in place to ensure that people feel safe & comfortable.

For those of you that are serious about using this feature, and want to be part of it, this is what you will need to do:

In your My Account > Group Memberships, you will now find an official group called "Accountability". If you wish to have access to the accountability forum, you must submit a request to join.

My policy is that you must have already been a member for at least 1 week, and that you have a minimum of 10 posts on the forum. As we have discussed earlier, this specific forum will also not accept any 'sniping', negativity, and judgments towards others for their honesty.

Furthermore, I have granted the Accountability group the ability to "close" threads that they start in this specific forum - so if for some reason you are uncomfortable with a response, you can close a thread (if you were the one that started it) to prevent further posts.

By joining the group, you are acknowledging that this is a serious tool with a serious purpose – it is to help ensure that you are able to maintain your weight and health, and meet your goals.

MiladyB · 04-01-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Callery

Okay so here's the deal.

We are moving forward with the Accountability forum, however, there are going to be a number of safeguards in place to ensure that people feel safe & comfortable.

For those of you that are serious about using this feature, and want to be part of it, this is what you will need to do:

In your My Account > Group Memberships, you will now find an official group called "Accountability". If you wish to have access to the accountability forum, you must submit a request to join.

My policy is that you must have already been a member for at least 1 week, and that you have a minimum of 10 posts on the forum. As we have discussed earlier, this specific forum will also not accept any 'sniping', negativity, and judgments towards others for their honesty.

Furthermore, I have granted the Accountability group the ability to "close" threads that they start in this specific forum - so if for some reason you are uncomfortable with a response, you can close a thread (if you were the one that started it) to prevent further posts.

By joining the group, you are acknowledging that this is a serious tool with a serious purpose – it is to help ensure that you are able to maintain your weight and health, and meet your goals.

John, I feel accountablity is one of our biggest tools to maintain our weight loss and stay on track so I think this is a great idea. I do understand the concern voiced by several but I think the safeguards you have put in place will help.

Thanks again for all you do. Your drive and passion for the Bariatric Community still leaves me pretty speechless. For someone who hasn't walked in our shoes you have an unbelievable understanding of the struggles that we have...emotionally and physically. I'm sure your Dad is very proud of you.

sdgrrl · 04-01-2008, 11:55 PM

Wow, John, thank you so very much for this new avenue! With recent threads about addiction transfer and other topics , I see the Accountability Area as a lovely, non-blaming, non-shaming first baby steps for those that need more help than we can adequately provide. I think it's vital, however, that steps be taken to ensure that it doesn't turn into the Intervention Area. We simply must do everything with an attitude that we all have baggage to carry, any baggage is legitimate, and we are not therapists. Does anyone agree that we should incorporate this philosophy into the plan?

Phoenixfire · 04-02-2008, 12:14 AM

Excellent idea and one that is natural since we're all in the unique journey that not everyone in our lives can even understand. I think it's a great thing. It's like my co-worker that's a "blurter" and really rude. She asked me to point it out. It's a reality check. And it helps us both.
I'd like to see this feature. It's a good way to see how we all have ways of rationalizing choices that later we look back and see them for just what they were: rationalizing stuff we knew deep down wasn't good for us. AND the help of others who have been there and done that, who can share their wisdom of experience.

But isn't that already here on the board? You're just saying it would be good to have that little area just for that right? Well it's a good idea.