It's No Wonder Men are Just Happier - ThinnerTimes

Omaha Jim · 02-04-2008, 08:37 AM

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Our last name stays put.
The garage is all mine.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
I can never be pregnant.
I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
I can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell me the truth.
The world is my urinal.
I never have to drive to another gas station rest room because this one is just too icky.
I don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at my chest when they are talking to me.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle my feet
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
I know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
I can open all my own jars.
I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite me, he or she can still be my friend.

My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
I never have strap problems in public.
I am unable to see wrinkles in my clothes.
Everything on my face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
I only have to shave my face and neck.

I can play with toys all my life.
One wallet and one color for all seasons.
I can wear shorts no matter how my legs look.
I can 'do' my nails with a pocket knife.
I can have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.