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Socialize General discussion area for anything related or unrelated to WLS.

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Old 01-17-2008, 09:51 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default This is great! (re: FWD emails)

Dear All,
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year.......
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit i the glue
on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that
needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the
same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown);
who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating
in their special e-mail prog ram.

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million
with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died
interstate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I orward
e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gas without taking a man along to watch the car so a
serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. >
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a erfume
sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,Singapore
and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it
bites my ass.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex
molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pmthis
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to
grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next
door neighbors ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a Great New Year!
__________________

Official TT Bear member: DUCKIEBEAR
FOUNDER OF THE DUCKSACK CLUB TT Gym Rat # 83
Lap RNY 3/31/06
Start of program/preop/lowest/current/goal
273/256/132.5/134/145----- 5'8"
http://www.myspace.com/duckiern
"Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it."
"If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna give you trouble!"
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Old 01-17-2008, 09:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default

Now THAT's funny!! Cause its sooo true! I think I got most of those emails.
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S I M O N E
(I_love_Hello Kitty)

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264/152/145?
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Start BMI: 45.3 Current BMI 26.1 (I'm OVERWEIGHT and not OBESE anymore!! Whoo hooo!!)

Surgery Date: 8/14/07
ONEDERLAND 12/19/07
CENTURY CLUB 6/22/08


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Old 01-17-2008, 10:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Wink Jip!!!

I must be on the same mailing list!?

Who needs enemies when you have friends like that

XXX
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RNY - 26 Sep '07
Then/Now/Dream (22 Oct '08) - 5'7"/1,75m
121.5/79.6/80 kg
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267/175/176 lbs

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Old 01-17-2008, 06:29 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckie View Post
Dear All,
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pmthis
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to
grow a hairy hump.

This is really good luck in some countries.
__________________
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Jim

447.3/424/230
/220
Highest/Was/Is/Will Be
Lap RNY 11/19/2007

http://www.thelesserman.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/jmranes/


Century Club 08 Feb 2008
2terville 12 Apr 2008
05/19/2008 - 6 Month Surgiversary - 153 Pounds Gone.
Double Century Club - 10/9/2008
11/19/2008 1 Year Surgiversary - 203 Pounds Gone


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Old 01-17-2008, 08:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default

This cracked me up - and brought back so many happy memories of these emails I, too, have received
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Blessings,

Whitney
272/243/123.5/135
Highest/Pre-op/Current/Goal

GBS 3/7/06
Dr. Stanley Klein -Torrance, CA


Hernia Repair/Tummy Tuck 3/9/07!!!!

148.5 pounds and 64.5 inches gone forever!!

GOAL REACHED 2/6/07!!!

Ducksack Member#3! And TTBear Blondbear!!
www.myspace.com/horsegalwhit
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