Our significant others - Page 2 - ThinnerTimes

janine · 01-16-2008, 10:22 PM

I was and still am worried how my husband will react to my weight loss. He didn't want me to have the surgery anitially. He doesn't like that he feels like he eats too much now. He never ever tells me I look good either, almost like he avoids it all together. I did talk to him about his feelings and he just said he's fine with it and it doesn't bother him in the least. Sex has increased though and he joins me on my hikes on the weekends. He just never tells me anything so I worry. Perhaps it's just me.

Claire-in-Texas · 01-17-2008, 04:51 AM

Janine, we all need validation. However, a man (in general) gives validation differently than many of us women need. Increased sex and accompanying you on hikes may be his way of saying "I like being with you more now that you have lost weight."

Dr. Phil says something that has been my mantra about relationships. You teach people how to treat you. My DH was like yours, Janine, until I was specific in telling him what I need. We are all imperfect, and sometimes he comes through and sometimes not. However, he is much better about it since I made him aware of what is important to me.

Congratulations on your amazing weight loss journey! YOu go, girl!

Toony · 01-17-2008, 05:37 AM

Just reading the anesthesia thread... I've just realized how tough my surgery day will be on my DH... Due to his health issues, I have given him strict instructions NOT to be there (at the hospital) with me... I have been by his side through 10 or so surgeries in our life together... there is that moment as you say goodbye and they are rolled off to surgery that just can't be described... Yeah, it'll be hard for him to be sitting at home wondering and worrying about me!

In his own medical/pain life - he hasn't been too in tune with what is coming up for me. It's totally understandable... Our local newspaper ran a 3-part series on Weight Loss Surgery this week, and now he's starting to "get it." The other day as I jabbered on about my pre-op appointments, he looked up startled and said, "I thought you were getting the lap band!"

He's acting scared and keeps asking me if I'm sure... I have 19 days to get him "up to speed" with all of this now

We've been together 38 years... standing by him with all his health issues and doing what I have to do around the house and for him, it's pretty obvious I love him with all my heart and will not be going anywhere.... I think he knows that!

Katie

Claire-in-Texas · 01-17-2008, 05:56 AM

Katie, I do think that the spouse waiting for the surgery to be over has the harder day!!!!!

Your DH willl wrap his head around this surgery, I'm sure! You have that kind of relationship.

How do I get to be a TT Bear?

Toony · 01-17-2008, 06:37 AM

A ClaireBear!!!

Claire-in-Texas · 01-17-2008, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toony

A ClaireBear!!!

Sorry to hijack, so please ignore me, but Katie, can I just BE a bear without doing anything? I wanna be a BEAR <sobbing>!

Your ClaireBear

Toony · 01-17-2008, 08:23 AM

Claire: Talk to Gwen... I think the only requirement is to love and admire the pack o'bears that lives here!

Back to topic: My DH has made some comments about me leaving him... I spent a lot of time reassuring him as he feels pretty down on himself... I often hear him say how worthless he is... often asks my why I love him... He's a big o'l bear himself... Borrowing a term my dad often used for himself, I think of my DH as "Wounded Bear..."

Katie

Gwen · 01-17-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire-in-Texas

How do I get to be a TT Bear?

The Second Girl Bear

I name you ClaireBear

Look what I found: Claire's accessories - I managed to dress the Claire Bear to look like your avatar - see if you can figure out which accessories I chose

XXX

PS: Like Toony said "the only requirement is to love and admire the pack o'bears that lives here" but as they've renamed me Gwennie the Pooh I think it is just right that we should have another girl bear - how bout you Katie - what would your Bear name be?

Gwen · 01-17-2008, 09:34 AM

Apologies for the highjack Carole - but we ARE having fun

XXX

astona · 01-17-2008, 10:41 AM

I havent had surgery yet, however, I could have never gotten to the point I am today, going to meet a surgeon next friday with out my husband.

He made a comment kind if passing one day when we were talking about going shopping for a new slim black dress after I loose the weight that he is worried that I will not want him any more.

I told him that I not only is he my husband but he is my best friend and he smiled.

We have such a wonderful relationship we share and talk about everything and anything....

I cant wait till we can start ballroom dance classes together...which is something I dont feel comfortable doing right now because of my weight