Good Joke - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

galaxy135 · 01-05-2008, 08:29 PM

*Scouse Vasectomy *

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
enough, as the Social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't
strong enough to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told
him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
Would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was
To go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold
The can up to his Ear and count to 10.
The scouse said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the
World, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to
My ear is going to help me."
"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held
The can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which
Point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
Counting on his other hand...

This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, Cornwall,
Sunderland, Wigan, Aberdeen and anywhere in Ireland

Omaha Jim · 01-05-2008, 08:33 PM

That hurts just thinking about it!

norwegiangirl · 01-05-2008, 08:48 PM

Hahaha!
That was a good one!!!!!

norwegiangirl · 01-05-2008, 08:50 PM

Have you seen this site?
Just shows the language barrier....lol i laughed so hard, well, you can figure out the results for your selves.....lol

http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/

Omaha Jim · 01-05-2008, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by norwegiangirl

Have you seen this site?
Just shows the language barrier....lol i laughed so hard, well, you can figure out the results for your selves.....lol

http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order/

I want to eat there - OMG

galaxy135 · 01-05-2008, 09:29 PM

Cannot post direct in here so picture a little boy and girl, boy stood on top of girl.

He says 'Okay, we've taken off our clothes and I'm on top of you - how long before we get that orgasm thing?'

She says 'I don't know but now I understand why mummy has a headache all the time!'

Gwen · 01-06-2008, 03:44 AM

I never caught these kind of jokes but since I've been living in the UK and am exposed to the different peoples it just cracks me up - now if we tried that back in SA we would be called racists

norwegiangirl · 01-06-2008, 08:29 AM

I am throwing in a blonde joke her too:

This takes place on an airplane bound for Paris.
A blond woman flying coach gets up and finds an empty seat on businesclass. The stewardess sees this, and tells her to go back to her seat. The blond says:
I am blond,beautifull, and on my way to Paris, i'm staying in this seat.
After a few attemps to get her to return to her seat, the stewardess enters the cockpit and informs the pilots of the blonde seat steeling passager. The co-pilot comes up to the blonde, tells her why she can't sit in businessclass, and the blonde replies:
I am blonde, beautifull and on my way to Paris, I'm staying in this seat.

The co-pilot goes back into the cockpit, and says that they should try and tell the airport in paris so that they can take action against the blonde upon arrival. The pilot then says: She's blond you say? I can handle this, my girlfriend is blond, so i speak blonde.

He goes out to the blonde, whispers something in her ear, and she looks at him and says; Oh, i didn't know that, and gets up and returns to her seat in coach.
The stewardess and co pilot look surprised, and asks the pilot what he said. Well said the pilot, i just told her that the businessclass seats don't go to Paris.....

galaxy135 · 01-06-2008, 04:19 PM

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. . And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in
water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would
have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria
found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum,
whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification
process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health .
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as
a public service.

norwegiangirl · 01-06-2008, 07:00 PM

And what a public service! Cheers!!!