not trying to be mean but... - ThinnerTimes

Linds0514 · 01-05-2008, 05:31 PM

it seems like every post ive read from a lot of people is questions asking "When can I have bread??" "When can I have my frap at starbucks or my margarita?" I want soda!! "When can I eat fast food"? Why cant i have this anymore or that?? ughhhh

Lets remember people, we all had this surgery because we were and some of us still are mobidly obese and this was the last resort, we need to look at this as a complete new life, we were granted a second chance and to be healthy and happy, yes there may never be a time where we can have fast food again, but would you rather be thin and healthy or have that cheesburger and fries?

Instead of asking when we can have all this junk, just suck it up and do what your surgeon says, dont push it, yes there will be days when you are upset and hungry and really just want to eat those fries, but you just went through a massive surgery and you need to play by the rules now, we have all spent too many years eating crap and not following any kind of diet, and its time to stop.

This wasnt meant to sound rude, just needed to get this off my chest after a friend of mine today told me she was eating M&M's 2 months post op and it frusterated the heck out of me!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

~Lindsey

rappaport · 01-05-2008, 06:36 PM

Great post Lindsey! You hit the nail on the head.

norwegiangirl · 01-05-2008, 07:54 PM

You know, i do agree with you. Alot of people doesn't seem to understand the life long implications of this surgery, and i do think that some people sadly, sees this as taking an easy way out. On a norwegian forum, there has been alot of people saying that they want to have a re-operation, because this one didn't work. I am sure this may be the case for some, but for the majority, it all comes down to what they eat.

Like testing, and trying out foods,junk or whatever. Why would anyone, after having a wls immediately start testing out if they can have sweets or fatty stuff? I just don't understand this, and for me personally, i do everything i possibly can not to wake up the stomach monster that demands candy bars again. Maybe surgery just isn't the way to go for everyone? Maybe alot of people struggling with overweight should be given an alternative to surgery, or at least should be followed up more carefully with psychologists (sp??) after wls.

I don't know how it's done overseas, but here in norway, after wls, it's pretty much up to you and you alone, to find info on eating and living with our new tool. No one lets you know that there will be though times, or help you when cravings sets in. I think that docs should be more willing to see this as an ongoing medical treatment, and not just give you the surgery, and off you go; have a good life and see you for your 6 and 12 months checkups.

Hope y'all understand what i ment to say.

Tashini · 01-05-2008, 08:01 PM

I agree this is a good post as I have often had the very same thoughts. IMHO I feel a lot of people still have this surgery without being fully prepared about the drastic changes that need to be made and as a consequence have some terrible head and eating issues.

I had a friend who tried to eat a kebab six days post op and rang me crying in agony. I have to say I did tell her off and spent many months telling her off every time she called me after she ate something really stupid which made her puke. 9 months down the line she has finally cracked it and realises that her pouch really doesn't want the junk and she is now eating far more sensibly than ever before.

We have to be kind but show tough love along this journey at times and realise that the op is only on the stomach and not, unfortunately, on the brain.

T xxx

Corrine · 01-06-2008, 10:13 AM

The other side of the coin is that for some, it's obvious they didn't have the standard of pre and post op information/care that one would expect with such a huge, life changing surgery. Either that, or they missed some pages of the manual - or simply that they don't remember.

Personally, I'd rather someone post those questions here - hopefully, they'll benefit from the wealth of knowledge and experience from people who've gone before them.

The only stupid question is the one that never gets asked.

RNY4me · 01-06-2008, 01:27 PM

You are not being mean, merely posting an observation. Yes, many do manage to subterfuge this surgery. As to why, that's really the million dollar question, isn't it. If we knew the answer to that, then perhaps we'd know why we ate the way we did to become and maintain obesity. Unlocking the answers to both puzzles will be a miracle for those of us who live this struggle. I had my surgery 14 months ago and it's still a struggle in many ways for me. I do not eat the same way because of the physical changes in my anatomy. But my mind stills drools over my old favorites. I'm just a weak moment away from trying fast food, that cheeseburger and fries, whatever. I am thankful for each day I can "play by the rules". But if I thought that it is now as simple as sucking it up, I'd be fooling myself big time. I do the best I can with this second chance at a healthy life. If I stumble along the way, I pray for the kindness of others and the help to go on. It seems it will be a life-long learning experience and I work hard not to let that old monster rear it's ugly head. He's still there...waiting.

anji · 01-06-2008, 01:45 PM

Good posts, all. I do agree with you, Linds, but I also agree that the operation was on our stomachs, not our heads. Unfortunately, it took me 52 years to get into this MO body, and now, I have to modify everything in my thought process to change. And I had two years of prep for the surgery. The only thing I really miss, is something that got me to the size I am, so why would I want to eat it now???? I've tried putting it in the same category as some of the foods on that guy's TV show where he eats all sorts of weird "foreign" foods (foreign to the American palate).That way, I REALLY don't want it!!

txchick1971 · 01-06-2008, 03:06 PM

well being 1 week post-op, i would die just to taste something good....lol, soon as i go to pureed foods, i am going to puree some hamberger helper.....lol, it's not about eating bad stuff, it's eating in moderation. the reason why i had this surgery is so i have portion control.....isn't that what it's about? portion, portion, portion control....i am fortunate i have not been sick or had any complications......but i also am not eating anything not on my list......and i long for the day to taste my favorites but only in moderation

VanessaSFL · 01-06-2008, 03:28 PM

Tricia,

It is about moderation /portion control the further you get out.You said it very well for being one week post-op.

I , the kinda person this thread may be referring to, can't tolerate much but I have NEVER denied myself something. I have spent 80% post op trying to find any solids that agree.So if is was a Frap from starbucks..added a unflavored protien scoop to it, then it was a Frap.If I drank CIB for a week solid , B, L and D..had too.

It is major surgery and I agree with the post but the surgery is not 100% textbook and we adopt & adapt.

MiladyB · 01-06-2008, 03:52 PM

I have to agree with Van. For someone who is almost 2 years post-op and pretty much at my goal I try to eat in moderation. I don't deny myself certain foods but I eat them in moderation. For me this is the real world. There will be times that I buy that fast food but instead of a Big Mac, large fries and a Coke it will be a Jr. cheeseburger without the mayo and that will be the end of it. Yes, I have had fries but it is now 5-6 fries not an entire serving. Does it happen often? No, it doesn't but when I anticipate that I will be eating a higher calorie and fat meal I will adjust what I eat when it comes to my other meals. I try very hard to stay within the guidelines of my surgeon's office but I know for myself that if I look at food as being on a "good" or "bad" list I'm going to run into problems. For me it is about choice...do I choose to eat that food. If I do fine, I don't beat myself up for it but I don't go crazy with it either.

Now early post-op that really is a different matter. You do have to come to the realization that if you go crazy eating a lot of things with high sugar, fat, calories etc...you will sabotage your weight loss. You may still lose but you may not lose as much as you want. It's all about choice and what choices will bring you the greatest happiness. The key is learning control over your food not allowing your food to have control over you.

Just my take on this.