Family comments I can do without - ThinnerTimes

Nette72 · 10-08-2007, 12:38 PM

Ok my hubby and I decided to go out Friday night, first time since I had my surgery. We went our local Bar, when I walked in my sister was there and boy i thought she was going to die, all I heard from her was "OMG, you look wonderful" you are so skinny (which I am not) but on and on. Fine I said thanks and please stop. But she continued, then my step-dad was standing by use and my sister asked him, doesn't Ronette look good? He kinda shook his had and then said....

You keep up like this you are going to start getting all this attention from other guys and they are going to be hitting on you and your husband is going to get jealous and then mad and be upset and pretty soon your marriage is going to end.

I said, excuse me but I don't have eyes for anyone else except my husband. His response -doesn't matter, he will still get mad and jealous and leave you.

Just ticked me off, he is such a jerk, drunk, puke, whatever. He even had the nerve to tell me later on that I shouldn't be talking to this one guy because he doesn't like him and so on. I mean please. UGH

I keep hearing little remarks from my sisters about my weight. My one said she hates me, the other said I am getting a big head (which I am not, I haven't changed). It is pure jealousy and I don't know how to handle this.

On a good note, someone told my hubby on Friday that I was beautiful and he said "She has always been beautiful"

I really do love my man..

And I had a couple YES this is so awesome moments. 2 different guy friends of mine that I haven't seen in along time told me i looked good.

Still hard to take compliments but damn it was nice to hear. One of them couldn't get over the change. If I wasn't married I would be with him, him and I have always had a connection and of course it has never been acted on. I just told him, hey you had your chance and didn't take it, gosh that was over 15 years ago WOW. Anyways now I am rambling..

None of them know I had surgery, that is something I decided to keep to myself except for a couple of close friends and my siblings.

Just wondering how everyone else handles these things, does it ever stop?

I_love_Hello Kitty · 10-08-2007, 08:07 PM

A**holes will always be just that. If you're fat, they make snide comments on that...if you lose weight they give you some sort of other Sh*t...just take it with a grain of salt...everyone is dealing with you imrpoving and they're staying the same...most people can't handle it.

true friends and loved ones will support you...but even they will re-evaluate where they are and wonder if they should be working on themselves...don't worry about anyone but you.

Cat_Lover · 10-08-2007, 08:15 PM

Hi Nette72,

Oh, I can relate!! My mother-in-law, told me 'alot of couples divorce, after WLS." Although, I know she did not say this to be a 'bad thing.' As my father-in-law had WLS about 7 years ago. Just stating the fact, that WLS can and does cause many difference issues in marriages and personal relationships. I still love my mother-in-law.

Then I have my friend, Jane's husband - Chris. Jane and I were talking and Chris asked me to turn sideways. I did, not thinking, and Chris stated, Mary you're getting smaller. I took this poorly because I think he wanted to say, 'Jane you're getting bigger.' As Jane is a size 16/14 and 5'3". They have been talked about getting a divorced.

I think many people think that WLS will change the persons mind/thinking patterns. I tell people I love my husband and would not leave him. He loved me fat and is very happy to see me losing weight and enjoying a healthy life. Hubby and I still talk about the 'guys calling/looking when I am thinner.' I tell him, 'I will show them a fat picture and watch them run, run very fast.'

All though, some people think their being funny and/or helpful. Their are simply not thinking/seeing though the eyes of a person who has had WLS. They need to walk a mile in our shoes!!! To know it's not funny or helpful, it's mean.

Warm regards,

Cat_Lover

lward76 · 10-09-2007, 09:10 AM

hmmm....wow how we can all relate in one way or another!!! I get so sick and tired of hearing that shit too!! I have 2 sisters and both are heavy one is alot heavier than one though,,, my younger sister is 5'4 190 pounds and she doent go on and on just everyonce in awhile she will say you look nice today and that is fine with me!! The other sister who i dont care for anyway,, well the other day she was just went on and on and wouldnt shut the hell up and then she was like i want to have it done too then i said they wont do to crack heads

i really dont like her!! but anyway very few peeps know that i have had it done even friends wise but even some of them wont stfu....and my husband has became alittle more jealous but i have to tell, im still the same person!!! he just got use to me being fat for a couple of years then boom it was gone again!! but me and him have beeen together since we was like 15 so im not going anywhere unless he dont give me room to breathe!!lol..j/k!! but hey your not alone on this one!!